Revelations
by everfaithful
Summary: Preseries: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... as John and the boys find out the hard way. Again...still playing with other peoples toys...
1. Chapter 1

February, 1986, Winslow Arizona.

Maggie stirred in the double bed of the hotel room and reached for the other side, not exactly surprised to find it empty and cold. He never stayed. It was a one sided relationship. She knew that. She loved him, and he was still mourning Saint Mary.

She sighed and got out of bed, and headed to the shower. He would be back soon, with new information or at least breakfast, and she wanted to be ready to leave either way. She had a bad feeling about this hunt. The Fallen was toying with them. Playing games with Johns head and that was never good. He had such tenuous hold on his emotions right now as it was. One push in the wrong direction and he would explode in rage and grieve, vengeance made in mans image.

The visions never came easily. They tore through her head, overwhelming her senses until she couldn't see or hear anything but what was being forced into her mind. It was no different this time. She rested her head against the cool tile of the shower stall, moaning softly.

He was in danger. No… he was always in danger, this was serious trouble. She pushed herself up right, and swallowed two aspiring. She shouldn't take it. Her stomach was already upset. It would just make it worse, but she had to at least be able to see straight if she was going to get to John in time.

She packed her weapons into her bikes side saddles and strode out into the bright sunlight, wincing as it reached her eyes, but she didn't hesitate, there was no time for pain, no time to deal with human frailty. She started the bike and at first she thought the vibrations would cause her to lose the breakfast she hadn't eaten.

She was on the free way minutes later. She thought she had recognized the location, and prayed that she was right, going through everything she had seen in her mind, trying to put into place a plan of attack. It was just the two of them out there. There was no hope of back up and she couldn't afford to get this wrong.

She hid the motor cycle then quietly made her way toward the mine entrance. Why did the bad guys always pick mine shafts and abandoned warehouses? She contemplated the cliché as she moved, mostly to keep from thinking of the image of John's bloody form hanging helpless before the yellow eyed Demon.

She avoided direct contact with the enemy, never was a way to tell from a distance if they were possessed or some sort of cultist or flunky. She didn't have a portable sigil (gods wouldn't that make life easier, a few simple words and poof there you go, embossed on your ceiling or floor, ready to use binding circle) and no weapon made by man could actually kill a demon, no matter what John thought about that damned mythical colt revolver. So she avoided them, instead letting her mind drift along the inane path of how to create a quick binding.

Maggie, or Magdalena to those who knew her VERY well (Meaning her parents and John) was of mixed parentage. Hunters, her mother British and her father Chinese. Not as rare as one might imagine if you understood that she was born in Hong Kong. With that up bringing came her peculiar style of doing things. Chinese mysticism mixed with a British practicality. She could manage a few minor spells picked up along the way, things most people only saw in old martial arts films, some healing, a bit of distraction, moving things with her mind. That is, when it wasn't over whelmed with blinding visions. Then she was lucky to focus enough to maintain her own breathing.

She could some how sense that John was near. She had been able to sense him for about 2 months. About how long that ulcer of hers had been acting up too, she thought there wasn't a coincidence there. John could be enough to give a saint ulcers and a nervous twitch if you didn't know how to handle him.

Trouble was, no one knew how to handle him for long periods of time.

She cautiously followed that … feeling… of John, still letting her mind drift. Too often these fallen could pick up on surface thoughts, and use that to know what you were going to do. She had to work hard to keep her thoughts drifting this time though. She was worried. If she didn't get there in time there wouldn't be a John to argue with all the way back to the hotel about stupid things, like why she had come after him instead of going to get his boys (whom she had yet to meet.) Or why she had come in armed with knives and parchment instead of holy water and salt.

She found her prey, much as the vision had shown, bound by his wrists, the wounds looked mostly superficial. Torture, she thought, well placed superficial wounds. She moved silently. John appeared to be alone but only a fool would have actually left him so, unless he was further gone than she thought from the blood loss.

She came up from behind, laying her hands on his bare back. He tensed but didn't move, didn't say a word, and she sighed silently in relief. He was still aware, still conscious. Together they had a chance of getting out of here. She made a symbol on the palm of her hand and pressed it against the center of his back, speaking the incantation in Chinese in a whisper soft voice. The energy spread from her hand through his body, healing the superficial wounds, she feared there were deeper injuries that her limited powers couldn't heal but there would be time enough for that later.

"Get away, Maggie" he said in a low dark tone, one that didn't register to her as anything other than his usual bravado then.

"shut up, John" she said softly and rose up on her toes to begin untying his hands. She wasn't a tall woman and it took time for her undo the tight knots, especially as he seemed determined to move around. Not touching her if at all possible.

She got one hand free and he pushed her back as he reached up to do the other himself. She looked up at him in confusion "John?"

John turned to face her, looking at her as though she were something to scrape off of his boots. "I said get away from me." There was that darkness again, something else too, in his eyes.

"We don't have time for this. Lets go, you can yell at me for what ever it is later" she pushed the emotions to the background to be dealt with later. Something in the way that he looked at her hurt.

She looked around at the sound of clapping, and a man stepping out of the shadows. His eyes gleaming with hellfire. "What can I say, Johnny boy, you have a sense of the irony. You have your Mary and then your Magdalena. Saint and Whore.

"nice" Maggie said, "but completely unoriginal. " she told the Demon moving between John and it. She didn't know how badly John was still hurt yet. She also didn't know that ulcer she joked about picking up from John wasn't an ulcer, but she had definitely picked it up from John. Other wise she might have been a good deal more careful of her own well being.

John backed away, not particularly worried about Maggie right then. Something she would have thought unnatural for him if she weren't focused on the Fallen before her.

"Oh I suppose it was a cheap shot but I couldn't resist. John is so easy to tease but you know that don't you. It's alright. Lets just put this matter of John Winchester to bed, and get down to family business. "

She frowned, brow furrowing. "What?" she asked in confusion, thrown off by those words. Family business, what did he mean family business. "Mind games nothing but mind games" she said as she drew out one small throwing dagger and cut a shallow symbol in the palm of her hand as she had many times before, often enough that it barely registered as pain to her now.

"he knows the truth about you, Maggie, knows who your father really is. Do you?"

"Truth? From a demon?" She asked as she raised her hand and said the words in Chinese to help focus her TK, the force of the invisible blow sent the possessed man flying backwards and skidding across the cavern floor.

She turned to run, not caring in that moment about the look on Johns face, or the implication made by the yellow eyed demon. She grabbed his arm and she started to run. "damn it, John, stop fighting me, or do you want to go back to being target practice." She said, and the words seemed to sink in as John stopped pulling against her and ran beside her .

"We have to trap it here some how." John said, knowing it wouldn't kill the demon, but it would slow it down.

Maggie looked around they didn't have time to wire explosives. "where's the car?" she asked figuring he had driven himself out here following that damned lead he should have told her about first.

He pointed it out behind the utility shed.

"Cut the power and salt the mine. That will slow it down long enough for us to collapse the shaft entrance."

An hour later they were parking their respective vehicles out side the shared hotel room. John entered, not speaking a word to her as he went. His jaw ticked as he walked. Once inside he opened up a bag and took out the aspirin bottle and washed a handful down with a swig of scotch.

"I'm going to go get a shower." He said looking up at her his expression haunted, pained "I want you gone when I get out. I'll give you a weeks head start. I owe you that much." He said as he started toward the bathroom.

"what the hell?" she yelled at him "What did that bastard say to you?" this was insane, a weeks head start? What was he going to hunt her now?

"Your father was possessed when you were conceived. You're part demon, Maggie. Its only a matter of time before you cross over to the other side. I wont have you near me or my boys when that happens."

"John, this is insanity." She couldn't believe this was happening. How could this be happening? How could he… "John?!"

"A week Maggie. Don't waste it yelling my name" He stepped into the bathroom and

closed the door, locking it behind him.

August 12, 1993

Magdalena screamed out her sons name as the explosion rocked the house. She ran deeper within, dodging falling debris, desperate to reach her son in time, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to. It was her worst night mare come to life before her eyes. Her son was going to die at the hands of men she had once called friend.

The house shook to its core and the floor gave way sending everything crashing into the basement. Her screams mingled with those of the small boy and she was certain that she was going to die when she hit the cement floor, losing consciousness briefly as the air was forced out of her lungs upon impact.

She came to as the crying in the distance was growing weaker. She struggled to get to him, but her legs wouldn't move. The pain was overwhelming, no one injury singled out, rather, her entire body felt as though it were one gaping wound. She pulled herself along, using her telekinesis to move things that were too heavy for her arms to shove out of the way. She knew she was bleeding out, but she didn't care. She had to get to get to her boy. Jack was all that mattered now.

She found the frame of his bed, then the mattress, "oh god" she breathed as she shoved the mattress aside to reveal the small boy twisted around the rubble beneath him. His tears falling silently now as he fought for air. "It's alright baby, I'm here, Mommy's here." She said, her voice trembling as she tried to be strong. Tried to hold it together for what she was sure were their last moments. She pulled him into her arms and curled around him, as she heard foot steps through the rubble.

Maggie looked up at the man as he stepped closer, she could hear the others above trying to work their way down, her heart pounded in her ears drowning everything out but her sons ragged shallow breathing. His little lips were tinged with blue. He wasn't getting enough air… he was going to die in her arms.

The hunter came within range and she brought up her hand – Ricky Singer lifted off the ground and when she moved again he was flung backwards to be impaled by the broken pipes. She watched him bleed, and turned her attention once more to her son, stroking his hair, murmuring to him, trying to comfort him as much as she could knowing there was nothing else she could do. Her powers of healing were limited. Cuts and bruises, little aches and pains she could take away but this was beyond her reach no matter how hard she tried. And she tried... over and over again, desperately hoping that any little thing she could fix might be the one thing that would bring him back from the edge, keep him with her for just a little longer.

"Now is that any way to greet your father?" It was Ricky's voice, when there shouldn't have been one. She looked up sharply, prepared to lash out once more, to hear him gasping for breath as her son did, only to see his eyes blaze briefly with hell fire, as he pulled himself off of the pipes. "That still hurts you know."

"Does he feel it?" she asked, realizing this was a demon... her mother's demon… the one who had shared in her conception.

"Yes" He said with a sardonic smile, but it faded as she raised her hand to do it again. "There is time enough to torture your enemies later. "

She shook her head and turned her attention to her son once more. "Why are you here, now." She asked and tried to pull herself into an upright position, sheltering her child from the demon before her.

"Because you need me… because its time." He told her, not saying that now she was vulnerable, and weak. Now he could manipulate her, use her love against her, and she would thank him for it later.

Again she shook her head. "It doesn't matter now."

"What if I told you I could save your son? Give you use of your legs back." He asked as he knelt beside her. "But you have to make the decision fast. The others are on their way, and I need them alive a little while longer."

"If you can save him… I'm yours." She didn't have to think. There was no decision to make. It was her child's life. No price was too great for that. Not even her soul.

He reached out and touched her forehead, making a little mark there. When he did the boy screamed loudly, strongly. Still in pain but no longer at deaths door. "There are limitations. Some things you are going to have to do yourself. I can keep him alive until you find what you need. "It was a lie. He could cure the boy completely with a touch of his hand. But he wanted to see what she would be willing to do. It was one thing to offer ones self. It was another to shatter the world of one you loved. And whether she was willing to admit it to herself or not, she loved John Winchester.

"How?" she asked as she sat up right, easily now "What do I need? I have to get him out of here, they will be here soon." She could still hear the others trying to get down. "Shhh" she said cooing softly to the boy trying to quiet him, to give them more time.

"You let me worry about them. "The demon said smiling once more. "You need those tears of yours, "he said wiping her eyes with one long nail. He closed his hand around the moisture and opened it to reveal a small crystal, shining brightly in his hand. "The fathers flesh. And the blood of another nephalim. Personally I would use his younger… well middle son. The brotherly ties will strengthen the spell" He told her.

"What are you saying?" She asked, in confusion "that Sam is-"

"John brought home a hitchhiker the night little Sammy was conceived. His precious darling boy is just like you. There's a little salt to rub into his wounds for you. He deserves it after what he has done to you."

"Rick" Bobby called out "you alright man?"

"Yeah" the demon called back "She's dead" he used Rick Singers tone and expression. "I'll be up in a minute, we can torch this place and get the hell out of here. " He laughed softly as the man struggled inside him, trying to regain control. Ironic since the moment he did he would bleed to death anyway.

Magdalena took the crystallized tears in her hand and put it into the small leather pouch she wore around her neck. A medicine bag for protection against nightmares. Not that it saved her from the waking ones.

"Now… "He said as he tilted her face up to look at his. "If you are going to survive long enough to see your boy turn to a man you are going to have to let go … and let yourself become what you are meant to be. Feel me flowing through you. Don't fight it." He said softly "that's right… reach down inside you and grasp that power, focus on a safe place … and see yourself there. My people will find you. They will watch over the boy and help you with the rest. I'm going to have a little fun first, but I will join you when its time."

She nodded and closed her eyes, holding tight to Jack, she let the barriers fall and embraced the darkness within her, the power that she found there was almost overwhelming. It swirled around her, within her, until it shone through her eyes. She gasped sharply as she and her son began to fade, shifting into the shadows of the wreckage.

She watched there, literally one with the shadows as Rick got up and brushed himself off and started up the debris to the ground above.

"You sure she's dead" Bobby asked.

"Dead as Dead can be." The demon told him. Oh he was going to have fun before he let this body go. "We can give John the good news." He wanted to be there when he found out that his baby boy was the child of a fallen one. But that wasn't going to happen.

"He's out near Tahoe right now. Hunting a Wolf at the moment. "Bill Harvelle said "He'll check in when he's done."

Magdalena knew where to go, now. There was a safe house up in the mountains not far from Tahoe. It was secluded. If anyone was there when she arrived they wouldn't be there long. Maggie was through being understanding. Even before the Demon had awakened that part of her, the sight of her son, near death, had been enough to turn her from prey to hunter once more.

"Lets burn what's left of the place to the ground and salt it. I don't want her coming after my ass from the grave ya know" Ricky said and that was her cue. She closed her eyes let her self fade from the shadows in the basement, and reappear in the shadows of the trees surrounding the safe house.


	2. Chapter 2

August 12, 1993

Sam sat on the floor in front of the television, watching thunder Cats, and taking the toys out of his back pack. It was just another day in another seedy hotel room. He had learned to ignore the sounds from the other rooms, or at least not to ask what they were. Dean didn't know either, even though he pretended he did. And he got cranky when Sam asked too many questions he didn't know the answers to.

He didn't blame him. It was embarrassing for a big boy not to know the answers, where as no one expected Sam to know so it was no big deal for him to ask. Besides, he didn't like to make Dean upset.

He was quietly having his plastic horse devoured by the stuffed dinosaur, when he heard the key in the door with out the requisite warning knock their father gave first so they would know it was safe.

He shot a wide eyed look Dean's way, as he turned the TV off and dove under the nearest bed dragging his stuffed dinosaur with him.

Dean went over to one of the corners where his father had left a weapon, hoping it was just the hotel manager letting them know that they needed to pay another night. Though Dad had promised that he had taken care of that, he'd said that before and hadn't. This was supposed to be just a short job, three days; they'd be back on the road by Monday. Dean forgot what it was like to have his own room and his own bed.

But just in case it wasn't the manager, he had a gun. He knew how to shoot it, and his dad said he was pretty good. A glance over at Sam and Dean saw his little brother was under the bed. Good. Dean wished he could crawl under there with him.

Sam waited, watching his brother and holding tight to the dinosaur. He wished he could hold tight to his brother instead. Dean was his security. He barely knew his own father really. Even when he was there he wasn't, and sometimes Sam wondered if it was because it was his fault that his mother was dead. His father and Dean seemed to be close so he knew that it wasn't that he didn't want kids around. It was just him, even though his father was insistent that Sam be kept safe at all times, it still seemed distant. So when Sam was scared it was Dean that he wanted. John Winchester never even crossed his mind.

The door opened and a woman entered. She was small and willowy, like something out of a fantasy story, or the Japanese cartoons that they sometimes found on cable that they weren't really supposed to be watching. Dark hair flowed down her back, and she smiled slowly. "Hello Dean." She said, dark eyes scanning the room quickly." I know... your father taught you to shoot that thing you think you are hiding. And you are supposed to do what ever it takes to protect your little brother." She moved further in and two men entered with her, closing the door behind them. "But that isn't going to happen today. You can't stop what's going to happen, so you may as well set it aside, and step forward, like a good boy."

Dean swallowed, and with that bravery that only children could summon up, stood his ground. "You need to leave." He said. Not asking how this woman knew his name, how she knew Sam was under the bed, why there were two big men with her...He was hoping to bluff his way through, then get out of Dodge with Sam. In case of emergency, and only emergency, they could go to another hunter's house. This seemed like an emergency.

But he stood his ground. It was, unfortunately, very easy for two grown men to disarm a ten year old though. "Sam! Run!" Dean shouted as a last resort. Keep his brother safe, which was his whole job and reason for existence in their father's eyes.

Sam reacted instinctively. It was something their father had beaten into both of them. The word run meant run now, don't ask questions, don't think, don't try and be brave, you just run like hell was on your heels because it probably was.

However the woman blocked his escape route to the door. He stopped dead in his tracks, not sure what to do. He was only 6 and there wasn't yet a violent bone in his little body. In fact at the moment he wasn't sure he had bones because they all felt like rubber.

"Hello, Sam." She said as she looked him over, such a fuss made over this little one in the occult black market. Although that wasn't her plans for him. Not yet. First the father. She had a great deal she owed John Winchester. None of it was going to be pleasant.

Well at least not for John.

"It's alright, Sammy." She said in a soothing tone. "I crossed over the salt didn't I?" She asked him and watched as he nodded, still clinging to the stuffed T-rex for dear life, and casting worried looks at his brother.

"Demons can't cross the salt can they Sammy?" She asked and this time he shook his head. "Do you know what that means?"

He nodded, and as she gave him a look that demanded an answer. "You're not a monster."

"I never said that." She said with a faint laugh "But I'm no demon."

Dean got in between the men and the woman and his brother. Sure, he was disarmed, but he was bigger. He could cover Sam. "Leave my brother alone. He's just a kid." Dean said. As if he wasn't.

She smiled indulgently. "So are you Dean. But don't worry. No one is going to hurt Sam." She said as she nodded. One of the men came and picked Dean up and tossed him over his shoulder. "Now Sam, your brother is going with us no matter what, but if people hear us leaving, then he could get hurt, so what I need you to do is take my hand and walk out of here with me, nice and quiet. That way no one gets hurt." She gave Dean a warning look, as though to say the same went for him, but with out the niceties added in.

Sam closed his little arms tighter around the T-rex, and looked over at Dean, as though asking his permission to cooperate. He didn't want Dean to get hurt. "I don't want to go. We have to wait here. Not supposed to leave the room." It was a conflict... to keep Dean from getting hurt he had to disobey his father, and that was something you just didn't do. Not about things like leaving the hotel room. Sam never got to leave the hotel rooms without their father right there. Not even if there was a playground.

Dean agreed. "We can't leave." Dean said. "And you don't want to make our dad mad." He said with a bit of pride. He'd heard someone describe John as a 'bad ass,' and not one to be messed with. Didn't these people know that, even if they knew everything else? Or seemed to?

"Of course I do, Dean. I know exactly what John Winchester is likely to do." Magdalena said with quirk of a smile "Probably know him better than you do." She told him as she picked up Sam, through with trying to make it as gentle as possible on the boys. John had them too hardwired into fighting and obeying. And she was through talking.

"Let's go." She said as she turned to open the door, leading the way across the parking lot with Sam kicking and screaming as they went. But no one came. No one so much as peeked out of the hotel windows. Or the open door of the manager's office.

They were thrown into the back of a car, with one of the large men on each side of them. "Its okay, Sammy." Dean said to calm his brother, and himself. If he could make Sammy believe it, he might believe it too, even as his eyes searched for a way out. Unfortunately he wasn't trained enough to spot any good opportunities yet, if there even were. "We'll just keep quiet. I'll think of something." He wanted to be Sammy then. Allowed to cry and cling to a stuffed animal. Allowed to be scared. Just allowed to be a kid.

Sam leaned n close to his brother and put the precious T Rex in his lap and wrapped both arms around his brother. "Okay Dean." He said. "I know you will." He said with absolute faith in his older brother. Dean took care of him. Dean would always take care of him. He knew that.

They drove further away from civilization until the only lights to be seen were those from the headlights of the car. Magdalena looked up into the rear view mirror at the boys seated there quietly. She could see their father in them. Especially in Dean. He was the spitting image of his father.

She turned down a side road, one that jostled the passengers as the car bounced from pot hole to pot hole. They were nearing the end of the journey and Sam clung tighter to his brother as the car slowed and finally stopped.

Dean held tighter to Sammy as the pot holes bounced them around the back seat, keeping Sammy from hitting or bumping into the man beside him. Everything was dark; he couldn't see a thing outside the windows.

Didn't stop him from trying though. And at least the darkness hid the trembling of his lower lip, and he could blame the shaking knees on the rocky car ride. He met the woman's eyes in the rear view mirror, and mustered up the best glare a ten year old could come up with. And given that he resembled John so strongly, with his mother's coloring, it was a pretty good glare.

When the car stopped, he looked around. Now what? But he didn't loosen his grip on his little brother, in fact held onto him tighter.

The men opened the doors and got out reaching in to pry the brothers apart. They were surprised at how much effort it actually took to separate the death grip they had on each other.

Sam screamed when they were separated, and it wasn't just in fear, there was genuine uncontrolled anger in his cries as he flailed and fought for all he was worth, somehow convinced that if he were separated from Dean he would never see him again.

Dean hit and punched at the man until finally he let go. After being bit hard enough to draw blood. Dean ducked to avoid a swipe that might have taken off his head as he ran to the other man and got his brother free, crouching down on the ground and holding Sam tight, his body slightly covering the younger boys. "Fine, you've got us." He said, glaring at Magdalena. "But you're not going to separate us. I'll chew through whoever I have to."

Dean believed in fighting dirty, already.

Sam was trembling as he clung to his brother, and trying very hard not to be a big baby and cry all over him but it was very hard. He had never been so scared in his life. Anytime there was anything scary around Dean had been able to take care of it or his father had been there. This was different. This wasn't something that he could run from, his father was no where near, and Dean wasn't big enough to fight them off for long. Although he was proud of how much his brother had been able to do even though they were so much bigger.

"Already have a taste for blood. Give you a few years you'll be killing demons and betraying friends just like Daddy." She said with a sharp edge to her tone that hadn't been there before. "If you have a few years." She glared at him "Go inside and sit down." She ordered.

Sam looked up at Dean, waiting for him to say if they were going inside or not. He didn't think he would be able to run away but he wasn't going to do anything without Dean.

Dean slowly stood up, standing up Sammy at the same time as he returned Magdalena's glare. Then turned and walked inside and sat down near one of the walls, where he could keep an eye on everyone as best he could.

"All right Sammy. We just hang on. Dad's supposed to be calling us tonight; he'll be pissed when we don't answer."

Sam nodded. "He's going to be really mad." Although same was convinced he would be mad at him for not being able to run away. Mad at him for leaving the hotel room when he shouldn't have. He was more worried about how angry his father was going to be than he was about what was happening to them.

The three adults spoke in quiet tones near the fire place, and then Magdalena rose to her feet and walked toward the boys. "I am going back to the hotel. I am only going to ask you once. Is there anything there you need to have brought to you?" It had been years since she had been in a real conversation with John Winchester. She didn't know the health of his boys, wouldn't put it past him to leave one that needed medication or something behind with only the resources of a 10 year old boy to look after them.

And he said SHE was evil...

Dean shook his head. Everything was basically disposable in their lives. Only Sammy's dinosaur really, and he had that with him. He'd learned not to depend on toys since leaving one behind one time, and John refusing to turn around not even three minutes later to go retrieve it. "We're fine." Dean said. A whole lot better once they were back at the hotel, hopefully before John called.

She nodded then started out the door. "They get out of hand separate them." She said as she walked out the door and disappeared into the night only to reappear in the hotel room. It was much simpler when there wasn't anyone to carry. She didn't have that particular gift at its fullest strength.

The phone was already ringing and with each unanswered ring John was growing angrier. And worried. It wasn't like Dean to not answer the phone. He knew his boy, if he were going to sneak outside; he'd at least wait for his old man's call first. And he hadn't. Which meant something was wrong.

Which meant something was wrong with his boys. But he stayed on the payphone and let it ring. His fingers clenching the receiver as he rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.

Magdalena picked up the phone and paused a moment before speaking. "Hello, Johnny." She said in a familiar purr. "You know becoming predictable is a dangerous thing in your line of work."

John froze for a moment before slamming his hand against the plexi glass of phone booth. "Magdalena...where is my boys?" He said in just a dangerous a purr. If she remembered one thing about him, from their brief intense time together, it should be that no one came between him and the last two remnants of his wife...his sons.

"Safe... well... safe enough at the moment." She said, not afraid of John. He had turned her life upside down, with out a moments thought.

Thrown her to the proverbial wolves, and had the gall to act as if he were the hero of the story time and again. "We have unfinished business."

"We might. But you leave my boys alone. They're just kids." John said through clenched teeth. He'd been lectured on how his life was affecting his boys, robbing them of a childhood, etc. But life endangering? He did his best to prevent that, with a series of rituals and trainings that Dean was mastering as well as he could. That Sam would learn as soon as he was old enough. "You've got business with me. So come and get me, and let them go."

"So self sacrificing." She said in a mocking tone. "I didn't start this war, John. You did. You think about that tonight. I'll call you here at the hotel tomorrow morning. You'd better be here, John. I won't call twice."

"This is ridiculous. You're still mad at me for outing you? Get over it." John roared over the phone. "Tell me where my sons are. Right now. I'll come get them and I won't even mess with you."

"Everyone I ever cared about is trying to kill me because of you." She stated in a deceptively calm tone. "I had never done anything wrong and you decided to mark me for death." She said "Of course I am still angry!" She yelled the last. "Be here when I call in the morning or when I disappear, your sons go with me." She hung up the phone, making a point of memorizing the number, before returning to the old farm house.

"How have the little darlings been behaving?" She asked, although she was in a foul temper and it was obvious. Dealing with John always brought up allot of emotions she didn't like to admit she was still capable of, much less capable of feeling toward that bastard.

One of the guards nodded. The boys had been quiet, not moving so much as a muscle as they sat against the wall.

"The little darlings have been just great." Dean said flatly. "You talk to our dad? He threatens to kill you yet?"

"No..." She said as she walked over to them. "John isn't t going to kill me. I don't think he really wants to at the moment." He would if he wasn't at that hotel when she called. She would disappear with those boys and bring them up knowing exactly how much their father didn't care. "You can speak with him in the morning Dean. For now, Sam and I need to go and have a little talk."

Sam looked up with wide eyes. She hadn't said that he could talk to his dad in the morning. Maybe his dad was only worried about Dean. Maybe he wasn't going to be here to talk to his Dad. So many possibilities running through his 6 year old mind that wouldn't have occurred to him in later years. But right then, at 6, he was certain that he was the reason his mother was dead, and it was some how his fault that Dean didn't get to play baseball or have a dog.

Dean held onto Sammy tighter. "You're not taking my brother." He said. As firm as he could. His brother wasn't leaving his sight. If somehow they weren't able to return to Dad, then Sam was all he had left, and vice versa. He was smart enough to realize that this chick had something against their father and was using them to get to John.

But if they were going to be used, they were going to be used together.

Sam actually squeaked a little at how tight his brother was holding on to him. Not that he wanted him to let go. No... Not at all. There was something in the lady's eyes that made him all cold inside. He didn't want to go off and talk to her. He didn't even like it that she came this close to him. She had that same look in her eye that his father got when he was on the hunt.

"Dean." She said still trying to be reasonable right then she was at the end of her reasonable rope. "Has your father talked to you about the easy way and the hard way yet?" She asked. "That's where we are right now. I am going to take Sam and walk with him to the other side of the room and you are going to stay right here. It's going to happen. The question is... how hard do you want to make it on yourself and your brother?"

"I don't see why you have to take him." Dean said, loosening his grip enough that Sam stopped squeaking. "Don't take my brother away from me." He said, with as much strength as he could. He could be brave and strong, as long as he had someone to be brave and strong for.

Maggie smiled "We are just going across the room for a few minutes. You will be able to see him, and he will come right back to you. I am only asking because I don't want this to be any harder on you than necessary. I can be mean if I need to be. You don't want to make me need to be. "

Dean didn't have a choice. But at least he'd be able to keep Sammy in eyeshot. "Don't believe anything the bitch says without checking with me." Dean said. That was his new word, and he rather liked it. He'd heard another hunter use it, so he'd adopted it. Much to the consternation of his father. He made sure Sammy had his dinosaur and released him. "It's all right. Just remember, check with me."

Sam looked at Dean a moment, then nodded and reached up to take her hand with his free hand, still holding tight to the dinosaur with the other.

Dean said it would be alright, so he knew it would be alright.

Maggie led him over to the hearth and sat down on the floor with him.

She brushed his hair back out of his eyes." You look like your mother." She said with a faint smile. Not surprising considering the mixed paternity. He did have John's coloring, and she thought there would one day be a little cleft to his chin, but he would never really be John's son.

"I do?" He asked as he settled down cross legged in front of her." I don't remember my mom." He told her, as he positioned the T-Rex in between them." Did you know my mom?"

"No, but John told me about her. Showed me her picture." Back when she had thought they were getting closer, when he would talk to her about things other than the hunt... other than his hatred for the demon. "He told me about the two of you too, used to talk about you all the time."

Sam frowned. "Daddy doesn't talk about us to strangers."

"No he doesn't. But we aren't strangers. We were very close for a time." She said as she got out an elaborate wooden box.

"Then why did you take us away from him?" He asked looking at her with open suspicion as she opened the box and took out what looked like a little glass necklace and a tiny silver knife from amongst the candles, and herbs.

"Because your father and I aren't friends anymore." She said honestly. "He didn't like who my father turned out to be." She wasn't going to lie to him. Not yet. The truth could hurt so much more later on.

"That doesn't make sense. It's not your fault who your father is... "He said with a child like indigence.

"It's not yours either, Sam. Remember that later on... it's not your fault either." She took the top off of the elaborate vial that was made to be worn on a chain. "Dean loves you very much, doesn't he?" She said as she lit a candle, and started the incense.

Sam nodded emphatically. "He takes care of me." He said as though that were the proof of his brother's love.

"Yes he does. He's always there for you when your father isn't, isn't he? He tries so hard to protect you, to keep you safe when your father isn't there." Again Sam nodded, outwardly hearing Dean's praises, but it was settling into his heart that his father wasn't. That he was never there, even when he was there Dean still was the one that took care of him so that his father could rest or recover from the last hunt. So that he could prepare for the next one.

"But it's not Dean's fault he couldn't protect you..." she said, knowing that what was to come would seem horrible to a small child.

"He's just a kid too, even though he thinks he's a grown up sometimes."

Sam said. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a spell, and I am going to need your help." She told him. "But you have to be very brave and show Dean that you can be a big boy too, because if he thinks you are scared he will try and stop me...and he could get hurt if he does that. So can you be brave?"

He looked up at her with his little jaw set." I can be brave, but I don't want to help you. You're going to hurt my Dad."

"Not with this spell, and remember what I told Dean earlier. You don't have a choice in what's going to come Sam; your only choice is in how you deal with it. Whether you are going to be a brave big boy, or whether you are going to fight and scream and cry. It's going to happen regardless."

He swallowed hard then, and tears welled in his dark eyes but he nodded. He didn't want Dean to get hurt, and she was right, if he freaked out like a baby Dean would come running to save him.

"You have to learn to be a big boy and take care of yourself Sam, because Dean can't always be there, and your father won't. Now give me your hand. The left one." She smiled a little. "The other one, darling, there we go."

She began to speak words that Dean didn't understand but would hear in his dreams later. Something about the simple ritual that followed would remain with him as the most terrifying thing in his life, even later on as a man when the world seemed to collapse in around him, the moment the little silver knife cut into his brother's finger would haunt him forever. It was like an invasion of something deeper than his skin and he couldn't explain it.

"Ow." Sam said in a tight shuddering whimper, but he didn't pull away as she milked the blood from the wound into the vial.

Dean sat flush against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest and his arms tight around his legs as he watched warily and fearfully. There was nothing he could do. And when he saw the knife, one of the men came into his view, cracking his knuckles while he stared at Dean. Which

meant there was nothing he could do but watch. Sam barely reacted

outwardly, as the woman milked the small cut on his little brother's finger and dropped the blood into the vial.

"What are you doing?" Dean demanded, unable to stop himself. "Stop it! You're hurting him." He could tell from the set of Sam's small shoulders that it hurt.

"I'm okay." Sam said in his best brave voice, even though his finger stung, and she moved on to another one. He drew in a sharp breath but didn't pull away figuring it would hurt worse. He didn't want Dean moving from where he was because he knew he would get hurt if he did.

Magdelena finally stopped and sealed the vial, then took his hand in hers and said a few words. Sam gasped as the wounds healed on his fingers. "Go on... go sit with your brother. We'll bring dinner to you in a few minutes."

Sam wasted no time. He grabbed the dinosaur and ran to his brother at breakneck speed.

Dean took Sam's fingers and looked at them. And looked at them again. It didn't make sense, and he couldn't make his ten year old brain make sense of it in any way. "You all right?" He asked. This would be one thing he wouldn't tell Dad. Since he couldn't explain it, he couldn't answer questions and why put himself there?

Sam nodded "Dean... is magic real?" He asked looking back over at the woman with awe in his eyes. "you dont think she's a witch do you... like in wizard of oz?"

"Well, let's hope we're out of here before they drop a house on her then." Dean said, wondering if he could convince Sam not to eat whatever was brought. Just because they hadn't really hurt them yet didn't mean they wouldn't be poisoned. His father had taught him to be ever vigilant. And he didn't know the difference between vigilance and paranoia

Sam actually giggled at that one "I dont think anyone would dare drop a house on her." he said quietly. "Do you remember Mom?" He asked as he settled in close to his brother, setting the T-rex in front of them to guard the way.

"I'd drop a house on her." Dean grumbled. "Um, a little. I was a little kid then, younger than you." Dean said. "but she was really pretty."

Sam looked at his hands, rubbing his fingers on his left hand. "She said I look like Mom. I dont think I'm pretty. " He said wrinkling his nose. "She said that she and Dad used to be friends."

"I don't remember her." Dean said in reference to their kidnapper. "I don't know, everyone says I look like Dad, I don't see it." He didn't, either. "Mom was...everyone said she was real sweet and nice. She could cook, better than me I know that."

"I don't mind how you cook. I like macaroni and cheese and raw-man noodles." Sam liked cheeseburgers better but that only happened when they couldn't get a hotel room with a kitchen.

Maggie brought over two bowls with spaghetti in them and handed one to each boy, as well as cups of koolaid. "There you are. Once you are done eating I will show you where you will be sleeping tonight. You can speak with your father in the morning."

Dean glared at her. "Why should we eat? So we won't wake up? Or maybe it's drugged and I'll wake up and he'll be gone." Dean said. "We're fine. Where are we sleeping?"

Sam looked a little dejected as he set the bowl back down. It smelled good and they hadn't eaten since lunch. But he wasn't going to argue with Dean about it. Dean was older and probably knew better.

"Dean, if I wanted you dead I would have left your broken little bodies for the police to find and your father could spend the rest of his life in jail for your deaths." She told him bluntly. "And if I wanted you separated, I wouldn't have to drug you to do it. I certainly wouldn't have sent him back over here to you if that were the case. Now... why don't you eat? You won't get the chance again until tomorrow."

Dean thought about it and nodded. "Go ahead, Sammy." Dean said and pushed the bowl back toward his brother. "Eat." He pushed his bowl over to his brother. Sammy was hungry, he could have both servings.

Dean needed to be on edge anyway.

Sam looked at Dean. "Are you sure you don't want yours?" He said as he picked up the bowl to begin eating. He was worried about his brother. No one took care of Dean. Dean had to take care of them both, that weren't right. Especially not when he had to be as scared as Sammy was.

"Let me know when you are done." She said as she rose once more and started to walk away.

"No, I'm fine." Dean said as he kept a look out for Sammy as he ate.

The unfairness of what had been indoctrinated into him was lost on him.

It had been so long, it was normal for him. He never thought that there would be something else other than taking care of his family and that at ten years old it shouldn't be his responsibility anyway. The fact that maybe it was his father's job, and not his, wasn't something he was able to bring to thought.

Sam did however. Not because he thought that Dean wasn't doing a good job, but because of what Maggie had said. That his father wouldn't take care of him. Dean couldn't and his father wouldn't.

Maggie sat before the hearth and finished the spells, putting one vial in the box with her ritual gear, and the other she added something to, and hung it around her neck.

She shook her head as she looked at the boys. She was glad she had made the decision she had. Although now she was tempted to just keep the boys and run. Bring them up together, as children. This was wrong. It was terribly wrong. He had never left them to their own devices when they had been together. They had always been with other families. Safe, protected, able to be children.

Right then... for the first time she thought she might actually be able to bring herself to kill John.

Dean watched Sam eat, and for once, he didn't have to clean up. It was...different. He looked over at Magdelena. "We're done." He said.

He could already hear his father screaming at him in his head, already steeling himself for that.

Maggie got up and nodded. "Alright, put your dishes in the sink on the way, the stairs up are in the kitchen." She said as she walked the two boys through the kitchen and up the stairs to the second story. "I am sorry; you will have to share a room for now." She said, still considering taking the boys and heading home with them. She wasn't closing the door on that option. Just depended on how things went with John.

She unlocked the bedroom door. "Sorry about the locks as well. But I can't have you running in the night. The woods out there aren't a safe place for little boys. The bars on the windows won't come off either. Go ahead and play in here. Lights out at 9 though." She said as she moved aside to let them in.

"Yeah and if we run, you lose the leverage against our father." Dean pointed out wisely as he circled the room. Which was the whole point in taking them, right? Because she had something against their father and if push came to shove, would probably take it out on them if she had to.

Probably just biding her time. Dean already knew that the world was full of bad people, bad people who could pass as good people if they had to. If they wanted to, while pulling off a scam.

"If you run you will get lost in the woods and die of exposure. Your father will still come here. I have what I need from you already. You are going to have to work on your people skills, Dean. For instance not biting the hand that feeds you...whether you like them or not." she said, as she stepped out of the room and closed the door, locking it.

The boy was far too cynical for his age.

Dean shook his head as the door closed. "Get some sleep, Sammy. I'll watch the door." He said, turning down one of the beds and tucking in his brother.

John returned to the motel room and sat by the phone exactly at midnight. Not knowing exactly Maggie's definition of 'morning'. What had he been thinking, hooking up with her? If only for some release. At least that's what he told himself as he ate a bowl of cereal and sat by the phone. The television off, just waiting. Praying his boys was fine, or there would be hell to pay.

Magdalena spent the remainder of the night with her son, waiting till the barest crack of dawn to return to the farmhouse and call the hotel room. She had needed to see the boy again, to remind herself why she had to hate the man who was about to answer the phone, why she had to put him through the fear and worry over his children that she felt for Jack.

All of it was his fault. Because he couldn't just let it go. He couldn't just turn away, he had to tell the others knowing full well what they would do.

John picked up half way through the first ring. "I want my boys." He growled into the phone. Worry, anger, and lack of sleep never did anything for his normally less than pleasant disposition. Made him a down right bastard and he weren't afraid to be one to her. If she thought he rained down the community on her already, wait until one of his boys were hurt. Then she'd know real pain and fear.

If John had only know that was what had brought her to this point in the first place...he probably wouldn't care. John didn't care about anyone or anything in her opinion. There was no way she would ever let him know about Jack. Especially not after seeing what he was doing to his own sons.

"Really, is that why you left them on their own for just anyone to pick up and walk away with?" She said her tone cold and laced with sarcasm. First she would heal her son, and then she would show them what being hunted truly felt like. "Did you call anyone last night, John? Don't try lying to me. You were never any good at it when you're angry."

"I didn't call anyone. Now where are they? You better not have hurt so much as a hair on their heads or I'll find a way to kill you myself." John said. "Where's the pick up location?" He demanded, getting up off the chair and stretching the cord across the room as he grabbed his jacket.

"Hurt them? Why Johnny, I've taken better care of them than you do, although Dean definitely has your mouth. You need to invest in a little soap for that mouth I think." She said, knowing that every second she delayed was making him angrier. Just another moment of that horrible, gut wrenching fear that the child you love more than life itself was going to die. It was the worst feeling in the world.

"Taken better care of them? You abducted them. You terrorized them."

John shouted into the phone. "That's hardly better care of them. And keep your mouth shut about things you don't really know about, not any more. I take good care of my children and I won't have the likes of you telling me different. Now where are they?"

She laughed then, although it wasn't a pleasant sound. "If you took good care of them you wouldn't have to ask me that question." She stood there silently for a moment. "Maybe I should call back when you are in a better mood." She said although she didn't mean it. "No... I want this over with. Although you aren't going to like the out come." She would keep Sam. He could take Dean with him. It was too late to retrain him. She would never be able to trust him but Sam was young enough. Besides, he would be in constant danger once she told John the truth about him.

"Pack all the weapons in the trunk of the car...if I see so much as a grain of salt in your reach I leave and the boys go with me. If you call for help on the way and someone else shows up... I go away and you never see them again. You have 15 minutes to get to the safe house... you know the one... Don't get pulled over...cause if you are late... We're gone." It was a 25 minute Drive if you did it legally. But she knew how John drove. If he didn't take time to prepare, just got in the car and moved he could make it in 15 minutes... maybe.

John growled as he slammed down the phone and slammed out of the hotel room. He made it there in fifteen minutes exactly, cutting across a corn field at one point to save time. He parked the car outside the farmhouse and got out. "Maggie!" He yelled. "I'm here. Let's go.

Let's get this over with." He'd have to play it as smart as he could, to get his boys out and get away. They were all he had left in the whole world.

Maggie walked out of the shadows cast by the house in the faint morning light. "And here you are again, thinking you are running the show... that you might be in a position to make demands on me." She stepped closer. Now that he was here it hard to make herself hurt him, but when she closed her eyes she saw her son in the wreckage, fighting for every breath. She opened them again, bringing both hands up and sent him flying backwards using the telekinesis. She had grown stronger since letting go of the fight against her darker side. She was going to show him exactly how much stronger.

John landed with a grunt, shaking himself out as he got to his feet.

"That's it, Maggie. Don't even bother to fight me like a human. Go ahead; kill me in front of my sons. Show you're the big bad demon.

Prove me right. I dare ya." John said, approaching her. He took the millisecond of opportunity and back handed her. "Or just give me my sons and we'll leave."

Maggie only flinched for a second and then moved in, fighting like human, like a hunter. Just as dirty and underhanded as he would have.

The former lovers exchanged blows almost as though they were sparing, each knowing the other's moves. But it was obvious that she was playing with him, like a cat with a mouse. He hurt her a couple of times, actually striking hard enough to bruise her, which was much more difficult than it would have been before her father had come to her...

Before she turned the fear into hatred. The pain into rage. She didn't say a word, didn't respond to his taunts, his curses. Any time the love she felt for him threatened to creep its way back into her heart she remembered the image of her son, that helpless innocent child struggling for every breath, covered in dirt and debris.

Finally Maggie tired of humoring John, tired of the game. She shoved him back once more, pinning him bent back over the 67 impala, the car they had conceived her son in. She stalked forward, rage, pain, and vengeance gleaming in her dark eyes. "Is that better John? You want me to play games with you a little longer? Or should I fight like a human and blow something up with you inside, never mind what innocent might be in the way." She pressed against his chest with the TK, pressing his ribs against his lungs, making it hard for him to breath, making him fight for each breath, but not enough to kill him. No... She would never kill him. That would be too easy.

Up in the second floor Sam woke to the sound of his father's voice and bounced out of bed over to the barred window to stare out at what was about to happen. "He came." Sam said, almost surprised to see him.

Nothing had ever been able to pull their father off a hunt before.

Dean watched alongside his brother. "Of course he came. He's our father." He had unwavering faith in his father, that hadn't been broken yet. His father was away because lots of dads traveled on business. Just his wasn't exactly the legal or known kind.

Sam watched from above in silence. Tears formed in his eyes as the fight played out before him. He had been sheltered until now. He had never seen the violence his father could do, and he had never before thought it was possible that the violence could come back upon him, that John might not come home one day, that he might not take them home this day.

"Sam, go sit on the bed." Dean said softly, his own eyes wide as he watched the scene on the front yard. "I mean it! Go sit down!" Sammy didn't need to see this. John had always been emphatic. Sammy wasn't even allowed to see John hurt when he came back from a hunt. He was too young. Even Dean hadn't seen things like this at six.

"You leave my sons out of this." John gasped. "You have a problem with me; you take it out on me. You leave them out of it; they've done nothing to you. Unless you're blaming them for our little break up?

Because I didn't want you around them because of what you are?"

"Our little break up hurt, but it wasn't enough to come after you for."

She said. "I even let it go that I was running for my life because of you...even though I had done nothing wrong. But I am sick to death of running. You sons of bitches want to come after me I will hit each and every one of you where you live and breathe until you leave me and mine the hell alone. "

She ripped his shirt open. She needed a piece of him but she wasn't going to make the wound where the Dean could see it. She eased up on the pressure on his chest, as his lips were tinting with blue. She didn't want him to pass out. She leaned over him; knife in hand, dark hair spilling over him, almost in parody of more intimate moments. "I found something out yesterday. Something you aren't going to like at all." She said as she made the first cut.

John took a gasping deep breath when the pressure eased, then yelled in pain as the first cut was done, just on the side of his chest. "There's nothing you would say that I would believe." John said. "Demons lie. Especially when it suits them, especially when it can cause others pain."

Maggie laughed. "So do men." She said, as she made the second cut.

"No...You'll believe me, because you are the proof in and of it, Johnny. You just haven't let yourself do the math yet. Don't want to believe it was you that brought the demon to roost in your own house.

Carried him home in your own body before you even realized what was going on around you. You were possessed." She stated as she removed the skin between the two cuts and wrapped it up in a handkerchief tucking it away for now. "You were possessed the night your youngest boy was conceived. Sammy is just like me. "

"No!" John roared at the words. "You're a lying bitch! There's nothing wrong with Sammy. There's nothing wrong with Dean. The only one with something wrong with them is you! You're demented. All those pleas that you weren't evil and twisted, and look at you. Look at you!

You're torturing me in front of my sons. I'm the only thing they have left. And you want to take them away from me. Or probably at least Sam, since he's young enough to retrain. Forget it! He's MY son. No one else's. He's MY son and he is a part of ME."

"Of course he is part of you, you idiot" she hissed "He's human, just as I was. But you were possessed, just as my father was, and your son is a Nephilim. "She told him then considered healing the wound... considered it... but nothing more."You want me to leave him with you? Why? So you can poison his koolaid? Or maybe have one of your red neck friends take him out in the woods and put him down like a rabid dog. That's what you said should be done to me, wasn't it John? Better that I take the boy now and raise him amongst his own kind. Not animals like you."

Magdalena roared in anger, and slammed John backwards hard enough to

move the car with him."What do you want to hear John, that you're a

good man, a good father? Just the picture of the modern American hero?

When was the last time you opened your eyes and looked at yourself in

the fucking mirror. You're just another predator. Another monster."

She said striking out at him again. "Pretending that you are out there

saving lives when all you are doing is salving your broken conscience

with the blood of your kills along the way. "

Sam moved to Dean's side, clutching the dinosaur tight, knowing that it would be a bad time to hang on tightly to Dean. Once the door was opened he followed Dean out one hand grabbing onto his brother's shirt so that they couldn't be separated while running.

Dean led Sam out at a breakneck pace across the yard, where their

father was being tossed like a rag doll. He pushed Sam into the Impala

and went over to John, to help him up. "Leave him alone!" He said,

digging into his father's jacket to get the keys.

"Dean, get in the car." John said, wiping his mouth as he stood

finally and looked at Magdalena. "This doesn't convince me at all that

you don't deserve to be hunted. Dean, I said get in the car!"

"You didn't believe it when I didn't deserve it. But don't get the

wrong idea John. The tables are turned. I'm the hunter now." She told

him, wishing that Dean would get in the car, she would tear John apart

if it weren't for the boy. "I catch wind of one of your lot within 100

miles of me they are dead. I'm through running. No more."

"You stay the hell away from my family!" John roared with what

strength was left in him. He'd be lucky if Dean didn't have to drive

back to the motel at this rate. But he carefully, painfully headed

back to the car, keeping himself between Magdalena and Dean, keeping

an eye on his ex lover.

Maggie simply glared at him. "You don't have a family, John. You have

little soldiers to leave behind to guard the post. You don't remember

what that word even means" she said as she stepped into the shadows,

returning to her son, with the precious items she needed to heal him

in hand.

Sam waited impatiently for his brother and father to get in the car. He was anxious to be away anxious to wake up and find it had been a nightmare, and Dean would be there telling him he was silly and go

back to sleep.

"Get in the car." He said to Dean, and Dean crawled into the backseat with his brother as John slammed the driver side door and started up

the Impala, letting it hum for a moment before tearing out of the driveway.

"Don't ever let yourselves get into this situation again." John said in a low voice.

"Yes sir." Dean said, turning toward the blackness of the outside

through the window.

"It's not his fault." Sam said as firmly as a 6 year old can. "We did

everything you said to do. It's not his fault." Dean wasn't the only

one that knew that his father was going to tear into Dean. It would

always start out small like this and build. But Sam wasn't going to

let it happen this time. Dean had protected him, but there was no one

to protect Dean, so Sam was going to have to try.

"Sam, sit back and go to sleep." John ordered. "Your brother and I are

talking." He looked at Dean through the rear view mirror. "You can't

get caught. That's the first rule. Someone comes without the knock,

you slide through the window and get lost. You KNOW that. How could

you endanger your brother like that?"

"I'm sorry." Dean said, his jaw clenching as his father lectured him.

Sam's jaw tightened. He wasn't about to do what his father said, not

if it meant that Dean was going to be yelled at for something that wasn't his fault.

"The window was right by the door." Sam said. "They had the key. I hid

under the bed and everything but they knew I was there. I tried to run

but she grabbed me up and then two humongous men went for Dean before

we could do anything. There was no way out... Dean took care of me...

wouldn't let them hurt me... so you leave him alone. Leave him alone!"

Sam was trembling again, this time with anger. "He got me out... she

stopped hurting you because of Dean... so you leave him alone!" His

brother was his hero not his father now. John was diminished in his

eyes now. Not because he failed to be there for them but because he

was attacking his brother.

John drove in silence to the motel and parked, but kept the Impala

running. "Dean, go pack up." He said. And Dean was grateful to get

out, blinking back tears from his father's lecture. He had let him

down, nearly gotten Sammy killed. John turned around in the driver's

seat and looked at Sammy. "Don't you ever talk to me in that tone of

voice. I am your father."

"Why do you blame Dean for everything?" Sam asked." He's just a kid too. And it's my fault Mom is gone, not his." He said not bothering to hide the tears in his own eyes. He was 6 it was okay to cry at 6.

"Don't take it out on him anymore please." He curled up against the door. "You didn't even ask if we were okay." He muttered the last looking out the window.

John wasn't about to explain himself or his thought process to Sam. He

was too young. "I could see you were both fine when I saw you streaming across the lawn toward the car." He said, turning back around. "And it's not your fault your mother is dead. It's the thing that killed her and no one else's."

Sam didn't say anything more. There was no point. John didn't care

what happened. He was just mad cause his hunt got interrupted, and he

was taking everything out on Dean. Sam wasn't going to let him do it

anymore. He couldn't stop him but he could at least take some of the

heat off of Dean by directing it at himself. No one took care of Dean.

That was going to have to be Sam's job now.

John sat in silence as Dean started loading the car, then Dean silently sat back in the car beside Sam. "Ready." Dean said silently.

John nodded and pulled out of the motel parking lot."Whatever she told you..." John said. "Is a lie. To hurt me through you."

"She told me I look like Mom." Sam said, not bothering with the rest.

She hadn't tried to turn him against his father. She had just talked to him. She had been right. He needed to be a big boy now. Dean couldn't

always take care of him and his father wouldn't. He took his Precious

T-rex and set him in Dean's lap. "You need him more than me." He said

quietly, and lay down in the back seat, his head resting against Deans

leg. "I have you."

Dean smiled a bit as he took the dinosaur and put his arm over his

brother. "Yeah, you do." He said.

"You do look like your mother." John agreed, hoping that was all

Maggie had told Sam. It was messed up that she had brought his

children into this. A cheap shot he had thought was beneath her. Guess he was wrong.

"She said you used to be friends but you weren't before because you

didn't like who her Daddy was...and that she needed my help but I

don't think I helped her at all. I didn't want to and I didn't do

anything so... I didn't help her did I Dad?" John hadn't started in on

Dean again, so Sam could let it go. For now.

"Sam was a brat." Dean teased affectionately. "All she did was talk at

him and I thought he was going to have a tantrum." He knew better than

to mention the knife and the pricking of Sam's fingers, and hoped to

dissuade Sam from that track.

"That's all that happened?" John asked.

"Yes sir." Dean said, looking at the dinosaur as he lied to his father.

"Yeah. That's all that happened. Cause I said I didn't want to help her."Sam said taking Dean's lead. He turned over and faced the back of the seat and looked up at his brother as he faked a yawn.

Dean looked at his father with clear eyes. "Sam's going to sleep.

He's been up all night." He said in a responsible tone. His father

might want to hash this out all through the night, but Dean sure

didn't. And neither did Sammy, he knew.

what Sam wanted was for his father to show that he cared. He knew that he wouldnt have come after them if he didnt but sometimes that wasnt enough. Sometimes he felt like nothing more than a burden, something his Father had to look after. An excuse to yell at Dean.

Sometimes a little guy needed to be hugged and worried over even when grown ups knew they were alright. That was probably why god gave them mommies, cause Daddies were lousy at it. Even the lady that took them was warmer than their dad sometimes, and she was scary. He cuddled in closer to his brother.

He had Dean… that would be enough.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been days since the boys' abduction, and John had done nothing but drive. He wanted to be as far away from Lake Tahoe (and hopefully Maggie) as possible. The time on the road had been spent mostly in silence. He knew that Dean thought he was blaming him for what had happened, and John just couldn't find the words to tell him that wasn't the case.

John had never been very good with words. They hadn't been necessary with Mary. She would fall into a comfortable silence with him and they would barely speak for days, even though they communicated well.

Then came Dean. He couldn't help but smile at the thought of his oldest boy's birth. Dean had come into the world screaming, and John feared that was how he would go out. He was a happy baby, burbling and babbling almost incessantly from the moment he figured out how. Dean had brought laughter into their comfortably quiet lives. And John had been glad.

Dean had seemed to have more than his share of illnesses the first few years of his life. It seemed that if there had been something going around, Dean caught it. Not that it had slowed him down. Ear infections, chicken pox, things that put most kids into their beds with a whimper barely slowed his son down. Even as a toddler he could shove aside how he felt in order to do what he wanted to do, or thought he needed to do.

Dean's silence after his mother's death had been as keenly felt as Mary's. He had come to love his son's gregarious nature, and his quick smile had been known to chase away the shadows from a hard day at work, but that died with his mother, and John had never felt so alone in his life.

Sam was different. He was a quiet baby. He was the sort that most parents can only dream about, but after Dean, his quietness had worried John. He had been at first worried that his youngest boy was deaf, but doctors tested and that wasn't the case. He was just… quiet. He was never ill. Not so much as colic and his second 6 months were as quiet as his first.

John had spent that time trying to fill the silence that had engulfed him. Mary was gone, Dean was barely there, and Sam… Sam was Sam. Eventually he had given up trying and had just settled into the silence, turning it into a comfort instead of the torment that it truly was.

Dean had started to come around when Sammy became more interactive. Trying to please and entertain his little brother had brought back the old Dean, at least on the surface. The chattering, smiling perpetual motion machine returned, but John knew it wasn't really the same. Those hazel eyes were haunted still. The smile never quite reached them, except when he looked at his brother, and even then it was tinged with sadness.

Dean had found his words again, but John hadn't. Not really, not until Maggie. He had been a little put off by the fact that she was a witch, and in retrospect he should have followed his gut instinct and steered clear of her. But she had come from a long line of hunters, and he had needed her help. After a couple of hunts he found that he liked working with her. She had her own brand of quiet. The sort that brought peace to a room, and she made him smile. Genuinely smile something he hadn't done in 2 years.

He didn't love her. Never had, never would. She had understood that. Or at least he had thought she had. Finding out that she was the child of a demon had been almost too much for him to take. He had been considering introducing her to his children, getting her involved in their lives. He had been furious with himself for not seeing it, with her for not telling him. In hindsight perhaps he should have just walked away and left well enough alone, but he didn't want her betraying anyone else in the hunter community. So he had outed her.

Why had she chosen now to come after him? Going after his boys, he got. It was the fastest way to get to him. But why now? Something in the whole situation didn't add up right. She had let them get away. Her powers had grown exponentially over the years. She could have killed him with very little effort. His body still ached from playing mouse to her cat. She hadn't hurt the boys. Scared them a little, but hadn't really hurt them. It just didn't add up.

He looked into the rearview mirror at his sleeping sons, and felt his chest clench. Yet he had still come so close to losing them. He didn't doubt her threats to take them from him. The lies she had told him about Sam. Trying to make him hurt his own son...

He pulled the Impala into the Singers' auto shop and turned off the engine. Bobby and Ricky were the closest thing to friends that he had. John hadn't made many of those since Mary's death. Even fewer since Maggie.

Bobby stepped out the door, wiping his hands staring at the car. He nodded to John, and headed toward the trailer parked on the car lot, knowing John would follow.

John got out of the car and opened the back door. He slid his arms around Sammy and picked him up, intending to take one boy and then the other into the house. But Dean woke with a start grabbing for his brother almost desperately.

"Easy there Ace. It's just me, come on, let's go inside." He said as gently as he could, knowing that Dean still blamed himself for the abduction, but didn't know how to tell him he otherwise.

Dean nodded and rubbed at his eyes. He'd fallen asleep sometime in the drive, after Sam had, still holding Sam's dinosaur. Couldn't give it back, seeing as Sam was still asleep and John had him. But he slid out of the backseat and stumbled sleepily after his father toward the trailer. He gave Bobby a smile as the older man held the door open for them.

"Hey kiddo." Bobby said as Dean passed, messing up Dean's already unruly sleep tossed blonde hair. "Go get to bed, your dad and I have to talk."

That didn't surprise Dean. Dad always had to talk with the adults about the hunt. Though now he supposed it would be about that woman. That strange woman who had hurt Sammy, but Sammy wasn't hurt. He was too tired to wrap his head around it, but he was trying. Trying to sort it out as he crawled into the bed at the back of the trailer.

John tucked his sons in, and watched as Dean put the dinosaur back in Sammy's arms.

"It's all right now." John said, smoothing back Dean's hair with his hand. "Get some sleep, tiger." Dean nodded at him, looking up at him with wide hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry, sir." He whispered, so as to not wake up Sammy. John swallowed.

"I know." John said. "Wasn't your fault. Get some sleep." He straightened up and headed out of the trailer to talk with Bobby. Dean watched him leave the room; his broad frame blocking the light from the front of the trailer for a moment as he made his way out the door, then John closed the door a bit. Enough to darken the room, enough to let some light in. Then Dean heard the outer door open, and close softly. In the light left behind he carefully checked Sam's hands again. Not a mark. He frowned, he didn't get it.

"Maggie." John said to Bobby as he walked out, Bobby coming up to flank him as they walked away from the trailer toward the scrap yard. "She took my boys."

Bobby stopped dead in his tracks. "That's not possible; Bill, Ricky and I brought a house down around her a few days ago. Rick saw the body, salted it before we burned the place to the ground." He said. "Are the boy's alright?" He didn't doubt someone had taken them; he just couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that she was still alive.

"It was Maggie. Trust me, and she got a lot more up close and personal than I would have liked. Where's Harvelle and Rick?" He asked. A botched hunt could very well have sent her on the warpath, but it seemed a hell of a lot more personal than that. He needed information.

"Ellen's keeping Bill on a tight leash. Jo came down with something and that woman is right bitch when she doesn't get enough sleep. Rick's in the shop."

"I bet." John said with a snort, and indicated for Bobby to lead the way.

"Well, I'll be damned." The demon said with Ricky's voice. "Didn't expect to see you round here any time soon." And it was truth. He had expected Maggie to do a great deal more damage.

"Didn't expect to be around so soon." John said with a shrug. "You went after Maggie?" He got straight to the point.

"That we did." Ricky said. "Burned her house to the ground with her in it."

"No you didn't." John said and 'Ricky' looked at him in surprise. "She came after me and my boys. Tonight. So she's very much alive. And she's as mad as hell."

The demon managed not to chuckle aloud at that particular turn of phrase. "I would imagine so." Ricky said, putting his best worried look on. "Guess we should go after her again."

"Now just hold on." Bobby said, holding up a hand. "Maybe we should let his alone. If we botch it up again," and he still didn't see how he could have done so. But he believed John, if he saw Maggie, he saw Maggie. "She'll bring a house down on us."

"She went after my boys" John said again, looking at both men pointedly.

"They alright?" The demon asked. "Keep telling you, ya shouldn't leave them alone like that. Just asking for trouble. "

"Back off." John told Rick. "They are not alright; they are scared half to death. Dean won't take his eyes off of his brother, freaks out if he is more than an arm's length away. They say nothing happened but I don't believe them… She is up to something. Has something going on in that twisted head of hers. "

"I don't know… maybe she is pissed off at you for dumping her. Women hold onto that sort of thing." This was too easy. Why his brother had such trouble with Winchester, he didn't know. He found him an infuriatingly easy target. "Especially when you call a hunt on them. This was the first time anyone had ever gotten close to succeeding. Probably all it is. She wanted to sharpen her claws on you for a while to prove she was still the one on top."

"Yeah, we'll see." John said, grabbing a cup of coffee. He was tired. He was worn out, he was injured. His sons had been terrorized. "Just back off. Both of you. I'll figure out what to do with Maggie." This was why the yellow eyed demon had such trouble with John Winchester. He closed down, and no one around him had any idea what he was thinking behind shaded eyes. Which he was doing now. Going over plans in his head to keep his sons safe. "I'll handle Maggie, you guys just stand clear."

"John, we're in this." Bobby said with a shake of his head. "There's no backing off."

"There is." John said firmly. "I'm going to get a few hours of sleep before we hit the road in the morning, getting as much distance between me and her as possible as I figure this out."

"Trust me… we're committed to this fight." On one side or another. "She will come after all of you eventually anyway. That girl never could keep her emotions in check." The demon said. "Can't make up her mind if she wants to screw your brains out or beat them out of your head." He laughed a little. It was almost time to move on. Almost time to twist the knife in deeper. "It's your own damned fault really. Damned… now there's a good word. Damned. Do you think you're damned, John?"

"Rick! What the hell has gotten into you?" Bobby asked, frowning at his brother in confusion and sure that he was going to have to step in between him and Winchester at any given second. Although the way Rick was going, he figured he ought to let John have at him for a minute first.

"Shut your mouth." John said, getting right in Rick's face. He wasn't in the mood for this.

"I mean it, John." The demon said with eerie calm. "Are you damned? Did you bring this down on our heads? On your sons' heads? Are they going to live in a life of fear and hiding because of the choices you've made? You need to think about what you've done to us all because of your decisions...all of them. And you've made so many bad ones, haven't you?"

John pulled back and punched Rick. He wouldn't take all the blame for this. Some things were just unpredictable. Like John laying one of the few friends he had left across the floor of the shop.

"That's it." The demon said. "Feel that anger. Because you know what he is. You know it. Deep down, you know she's right. You've always known, and you've unleashed this on the world yourself."

"Rick!" Bobby said, going down next to his brother. Getting between him and Winchester before Winchester beat him into a pulp.

Rick gave his brother a look, his eyes flashing slightly, before he screamed, blood coming from his mouth. "Oh god..." He screamed before the shop filled with black smoke, coming from Rick's mouth, before dissipating along with Rick's life, as he slumped against the floor.

John back pedaled away from the black cloud. Half memories of a nightmare coming crashing down on him as he watched the scene before him play out. It was true, dear god it was true… he had been possessed. "Did I…did...?" He knew he hadn't hit him that hard, not hard enough to kill him when the demon left him.

Bobby cradled his brother in his arms, rocking with him as though he were trying to comfort him, "Oh god, I'm sorry." He told his brother. "I should have known… never should have let you go down there alone…" He was devastated, broken in some ways as he stared into the face of the last person in the world he had left. Monsters had taken everything he had ever loved away from him a little at a time. "We gotta do something about this John… We can't… we can't let her get away with this.. Ricky… your boys…"

John leaned back against the door, keeping himself upright. "I don't know how to stop her." He said, swallowing hard. Had he brought all this down on them? Was Rick Singer dead because he had called a hunt on Maggie? What did he mean about Sam? What had he unleashed ? He was shaking, staring down at Rick, half expecting him to get up again. "We…we have to take care of him before the boys wake up." He finally decided. What was the word Maggie had used? Nephilim? If that was what she was then he had to find out more. Otherwise there was no way he could protect his sons.

Bobby nodded and released his brother, draping a tarp over him. He knew Dean, the kid loved cars, and he'd be in the shop the moment he woke up. "We need to move him. Burn him, salt him." They all lived under the radar. A 'mysterious disappearance' wasn't anything in their community. They all disappeared at one time or another, and rarely did anything under their actual real birth names. Some of them didn't even remember their birth names, they'd been at this so long.

Rick had never been given the opportunity to forget his birth name. He'd been cut down in his prime.

"And Bill." He said, nodding. "Have to warn him." Ellen was going to freak.

John nodded and helped Bobby carry his brother. There would be no grave site. No marker or casket. The remains would be salted and scattered and all that was Rick Singer would fade away in the breeze, as though he had never been. John was still new enough at this that it gave him pause. It had only been 6 years. He was a natural at it. His hatred for anything supernatural, and his military training had made him perfect for the life of a hunter. But being the father of two very young boys sometimes made him a little more sentimental than he should be. Something he hoped to break himself of before things went ugly.

They built the pyre and gently placed the body upon it. Neither man spoke. They barely dared to breathe. John for fear of saying something stupid and selfish in that moment, his thoughts were on his boys, and the horror that he had to protect them from now. Bobby was silent… not wanting the other man to see the tears in his eyes, knowing that if he spoke his voice would catch and it would all be over.

It takes a long time for a body to burn. John had been exhausted when he had arrived, he was barely conscious now, as he walked back to the trailer with his friend. "Go on to bed." He said. "I'll risk the wrath of Ellen. Woman can't stand me anyway." He said as he sat down by the phone. It wasn't a true statement and he knew it. Ellen liked him just fine, when he didn't have her husband out hunting with him. Ellen didn't like anyone that put Bill in danger. But she got over it soon enough when the man came home in one piece. He wanted to go into the back and crash with his boys. But he knew any more delay could cost Bill dearly. He needed to know that Maggie was alive before she strode into the roadhouse and started taking names. So he picked up the phone, whether he wanted to or not, and dialed the number.

"Harvelle's." Ellen said, answering the phone. The roadhouse was technically closed, but they were trying to stock, spend quality family time and tend to an ill Jo. She had some sort of stomach virus, and Ellen was sure she had caught it from a hunter that came by.

"Ellen, its John." John said.

"John, this isn't a good time." She said, sure he was going to try and drag Bill off on a hunt.

"It's not a bout that. I have to talk to Bill, I don't want him to go anywhere, I just need to talk to him." He said, urgently.

Ellen sighed and put Bill on the phone. John ran down the night with Bill, from the taking of his sons to Rick's gruesome death.

"Oh shit." Bill said and glanced worriedly at his family.

"She said something about being a Nephilim, but that was supposed to be the over grown children of men and angels. Maggie doesn't fit the profile." John told him. "But she doesn't fit the demon profile either, crossed over a lot of salt to get to my boys. Being a half breed has made her harder to affect somehow so you be damned careful.'

"Right now I'm more worried about what Ellen is going to do than Maggie." Bill said, but it was a lie. He was worried about what a pissed off Maggie would do to Ellen. "John… I heard crying at the house." He confessed. "Rick said it was my imagination… but I could have sworn I heard a child cry. This was before she had your boys right? They weren't there in that were they?"

"No, they weren't. She had them at the safe house out in Tahoe." John said frowning at the thought of a child in the middle of what would have probably been a living hell if you were unlucky enough to be inside that house. "So whose bright idea was it to try blowing her up?"

"Rick. Assuming he wasn't possessed when he came up with the plan."

John ran a hand through his dark hair, setting it on end. He swore by the end of the night it was going to be snow white at this rate. He pulled a chair over and sat down, feeling as dead on his feet as he ever had. He couldn't remember feeling this tired in boot camp.

"John?" Bill said after John had been silent for a while.

"I'll take care of it Bill." John said. "Just lay low. Real low." He said and hung up. He nodded to Bobby. He knew Bobby didn't blame him, they'd gone after Maggie all on their own. And anyone who went after a demon knew that there could be consequences if it wasn't done all the way. Consequences came with the job, it was accepted.

That didn't mean that John didn't blame himself.

John hung up the phone, leaving Bill to deal with protecting his wife and daughter. John had his own family to protect, although right then he was barely able to make his way back to the bedroom and his boys. He sat down on the bed, smiling a little at Dean as he woke up. "It's alright. It's just me." He said, and was relieved that his son relaxed, "you and Sammy scoot over " He told him as he stretched out onto the bed, laying on his side so that he could hold both boys close in his sleep. Between them and the door…

He was exhausted, his body ached, and his heart rested like a stone in his chest, but still he couldn't sleep. Crying? Who had been crying? Was that why Maggie had gone insane? Would he have done anything less in her position? But why didn't she say something? Or had she… would he let the bad guys know there was another target in her place? No… he couldn't humanize her. If he did that he wouldn't be able to kill her. And that was what he had to do to save his boys. Everything else could be damned.

Including him.


	4. Chapter 4

Maggie returned to a location not quite in this world, not quite out of it. A dark haired child lay on a bed, his struggles to breathe carrying through out the quiet room. As soon as she appeared she went directly over to him and started stroking his hair.

"Do you have it?" A man asked who was sitting in the corner quietly reading, strangely enough, The Weekly World News. He wasn't quite a man, and he wasn't quite NOT a man. As much a contradiction as the place he was currently residing in. His voice was gentle and calm on the surface, with an under current of timbre and rumbling to it.

He was older than Maggie, though again like his contradictory nature, he looked to be her peer. He was older than most people and 'people' he knew, in fact. Gave him an edge, the wisdom only time and experience can grant. And he had forgotten more about the occult than most people would ever know.

The fact that he was alive at all was a testament to his survival skills, the ability to stay under the radar and off the view scope of hunters. He'd been hunted, and he had hunted. He knew where Maggie was coming from. And for that reason only he had offered her help. It certainly had nothing to do with her father. He stayed out of petty games like that. Mortals as pawns looked good on paper, but they always tended to fight back, and that's where things would get messy.

He didn't like messy. He'd caused and cleaned up enough messes to be against them, to avoid them wherever possible.

"Yes… "She said as she set out the items, Sam's blood, and John's flesh. "I'm here'" She murmured to her son. "Mommy's here. I won't let them hurt you again, I promise."

"Mommy." The young boy said, and she shushed him gently. "Save your breath baby, you'll be better soon I promise… I promise. "She told him and leaned over to kiss his brow gently. "How would you like a brother?" She asked him as she began to prepare him for the ritual, and smiled as he nodded. "We'll have to see what we can do about that. Maybe even two. But I can't promise that." She continued to hold her son's attention, as she worked, knowing that moving him at all was painful.

She then moved the bed to the center of the room, and began to draw the circle around it, paying very close attention to even the smallest detail. Her son's life hung in the balance and she had no room for error. Next came the candles, positioned at key points, and lit them in order, beginning the ritual. Her voice, normally soft and smooth like silk, grew loud as she recited the incantations. She could feel the power swirling around them, coming up from dark places that she had never touched before. But it didn't scare her any longer. She had embraced that darkness as she had cradled her dying child in the wreckage of her home. The horrors she had fought for so long were now welcome companions and she allowed the power to course through her, focusing it through her words.

She picked up the vial with the droplets of blood and dripped the vital fluid onto the flames.

And in a dark trailer, in the deep of night, another little boy woke up screaming. His brother shot straight up in bed, his father not far behind him.

"Sammy!" Dean said, trying to wake his brother. He could have been asleep; it could have been a nightmare. Or he could have been awake with his eyes just squeezed shut in pain. Dean shook his brother, bringing his hands back quickly. His brother's skin was hot. Hotter than any fever. "Dad! What's happening?" He asked, in a scared ten year old voice. Which he was a scared ten year old looking at his father with wide frightened eyes.

John got off the bed and went to the other side. "Sammy." He said, shaking his screaming son. He had to bring his hands back as well, so he ran out of the bedroom to the small kitchen and grabbed the ice trays out of the freezer. "Watch out, Dean." He said and waited for his oldest to move a bit and just started dropping the ice on him. The ice was meant for Sam, not Dean after all. Then he crouched down by the bed and started rubbing the ice on his son's fiery skin. "Sam, wake up kiddo. Sam." He kept repeating as Dean took up the movements with the ice himself, trying to cool down his brother.

Sam cooled off almost as quickly as he heated up, not knowing that in a place that was neither here nor there, in a place made more of shadows than substance another little boy screamed along with him. "Dean?" He asked looking around to make sure that he was there as he was scooped up into his father's arms, and held tightly.

Dean reached out and took Sammy's hand. "You okay?" He asked, not sure but thinking his father's body was actually shuddering a little as he held his brother close.

Sam nodded and rested his head on his father's shoulder.

John groaned softly and set his son down on the bed, as the pain started. "Dean, keep an eye on your brother." He told him and got out of bed, trying to make it to the door, he didn't want his son to see what he suspected was coming.

The bedroom door opened and Bobby barged in. "What the hell?" He demanded and caught John before he could fall to the floor. "My god you're burning up."

"Watch your brother." He said to Dean again as he held onto Bobby. He was getting out of the room. His sons were not going to see this. Where Maggie had cut him was bleeding again, and it felt like the fire was starting there. He managed to get out of the room and close the door. Heading right out of the trailer and slumping to the ground, stifling screams through clenched teeth. He thought his teeth would break, but he managed to keep quiet. Or at least enough that he wasn't heard inside the trailer.

"John?" Bobby said, pouring whiskey over him. Alcohol was a great evaporator, cooled a person down when poured over the skin. Then he hosed him off with cold water. He didn't know what else to do other than try to break the fever.

It took longer for John to cool down than for Sam, there was so much more of his flesh involved in the process. "It's Maggie." He managed to get out as the pain subsided. "The pain started where she cut me." He rolled over on his back, laying in the mud and not caring. He drew in long deep breaths as he tried to shake the ghosts of the pain. "She did this to Sam as well." He said. "I'm going to kill her."

Bobby nodded his understanding. "Count me in." He had lost a brother. It didn't matter that they had started the fight. Didn't matter that it was retribution. All that mattered to him was that he had lost the last of his family, and the bitch was torturing children now. She had to go.

John nodded. "We'll head to the road house in the morning. Leave the boys with Ellen while we take care of business. "

"Jo's sick, remember? Drop them off at Pastor Jim's. Might stand a better chance of protecting them there anyway. The roadhouse can get rough, you know that. That's why you never brought them around before." Bobby said. "You go grab a couple of hours, I'll get the weapons. We'll grab Bill in the morning."

John nodded and went back inside. He took a quick shower to get rid of the mud and whiskey before climbing into bed with his boys. Sleep was elusive, as he lay there holding them close.

Another little boy was cradled in the arms of a loving parent, a parent equally desperate to protect that child, willing to sacrifice or do anything it took to protect him. He closed his arms around his mother's neck and held tightly to her. His pain was finally done, he could breath again with out fighting for each bit of air. "I love you, Mommy." He said.

"I love you too, Angel." She told him and kissed his hair lightly.

The not quite man not quite NOT man watched from the shadows, smoking a cigarette as he sat. "You've brought the community down on your head." He said with an accent that couldn't quite be placed. Not with as soft as he spoke. He looked at the boy who seemed all right for the moment. "This is a safe place though. Most don't know it exists, which is why I like it. Sell me out and I will kill you. And you know I can." He wasn't one for idle threats, or promises he couldn't keep.

"You are mistaken." She stroked her son's hair and rocked him gently, putting him back to sleep. "I didn't start the war. But I will finish it." She was new in her power, she didn't know if he could actually kill her or not but she wasn't going to worry about it. She wasn't going to betray him. It wasn't in her nature, even now to do so. So there was no point in justifying his threat by acknowledging it.

Magdelena had been willing to let John go on with his life. She had understood his reaction even if it cut her to the core, even if it was fanatical and unfounded, she had understood. She had even forgiven him. The moment she had held their son in her arms she had forgiven him. But this she couldn't forgive. They brought this down on their own heads. They brought her son… her… to the brink of death, and it was the Demon that had saved them both. It was another Demon that had gave them sanctuary and watched over her son while she sought the means to heal him.

She would do what she had to do in order to keep her son safe, and away from his father… and she would kill any hunter she came across until they were wiped out.

"Good." He said. "So what are you planning on doing? Because making decisions now is foolhardy and will get you killed. Even if they figure out how to do it only by accident. You're not as immortal as you think, these humans...very resourceful. And you are half human." He looked at the child, who looked so much better already. Calmer, his breathing easy and soft. And able to stir without moaning in pain.

"Right now Jack needs me." Jack… John really . John Hsiao… named for his father. She closed her eyes, against the hatred she suddenly felt rearing up for John. She had thought she was over it, had forgiven him but it was all back as though it were yesterday. "By now they will know that Rick was a walking corpse and lied… probably exorcised him. They will be looking for me." She nodded as she thought. "I need to lead them away from Jack. Once Winchester is dead I will take Sam to raise. He's like me… once his abilities start to manifest they will hunt him too."

"You'd split up the boys? That would only bring Dean after you as he grows up. Or you could kill him along with his father, put him out of his misery." He'd kept his ear to the ground of the hunter community. Even been in a few roadhouses and other places of haven of hunters. Because it always paid to know your enemy. He knew of the Winchesters, and how the father was raising his oldest to look after the other.

"Dean would come after me no matter what. He is his father's son. I would have to break and remake him to raise him." She laughed a little bitterly. "Ironic, isn't it? I don't know that it can be done without destroying the child. I may have embraced what I am and all that it implies, but I can't just kill a child."

"And what are you?" He asked. "Descended from angels. You can choose your side. Even now it's not too late. Hard, but not too impossible if you wanted it bad enough. And splitting up a family...I never had a real one, so maybe I don't know. But that seems like the easiest route to annihilation. I'd rather take my chances breaking him than killing him inside."

"My father hasn't been anything remotely resembling Angelic since Lucifer first discovered pride." She said bluntly. "But I see your point about the boy. I will just have to relocate somewhere remote for a time… He'll bond to Jack as well. Another little brother." Might not even require John's death. Might be more satisfying to leave him alive with no clue.

"Spoken like a human." He said. "Where angelic means all innocence and diapers and harps. Have you ever seen the Archangels in the flesh? I have. They are not in your definition of 'angelic.' One wing dipped in blood, they can kick your father's ass. And mine. Without breaking an angelic sweat. He's a fallen angel. Not a true demon like myself. Christianity and all their shoot offs and knock offs have everything so confused." He shook his head. "I think the oldest would take to his brother. You he'd be insolent, disrespectful and belligerent to. That could be fun to watch."

"I was human until yesterday." She said bluntly. "You want to watch then? Does that mean you plan on being around?" She asked laying the boy down on the bed and tucking him in closely. Yes she could see Dean taking very well to another little brother. Sam might have some adjusting to sharing his brother, but he was a sweet child… he would come around in a short period of time.

"I'm always around." He said. "You'll get used to it. Everyone does, until they disregard me, then I tend to show how dangerous indeed it is to that." He said, and chuckled about that. "I have no love for hunters, any option to foil them without calling direct attention to me, I'll jump on it."

"Indiscriminate little bastards." She said. "I should know, I used to be one." There were some demons that she would still eliminate from the planet if she got the chance. Not out of some hatred or need to protect humanity, more the need to protect her kind. Demons that brought the attention of hunters, ironic really since she was waging war on hunters herself. "First step is setting up a base of operations. This place is wonderful, but I can't raise the boys here."

He raised a sardonic eyebrow at her. "And I don't remember offering here for that sort of thing. Temporary haven is one thing, turning this place into a house for weird ass bratty kids is quite another. I happen to like the quiet, and if I wanted kids, I had plenty of opportunity to have them. Keeping an eye on them is one thing, and tripping over them is another." He chuckled. "But thank you for declining the offer I never made."

She actually smiled then. "Getting ahead of myself anyway… I have three men left to kill before I can settle down and be a mother again, even to my own son much less his brothers." She ran a hand through her long black hair and sighed. "John is predictable… the three of them will all be looking for me shortly. It's just a matter of making sure I am in the best possible location for me when I let them find me."

"Well, your son is safe here for when you finish your affairs." He said with a shrug. "Not many people on earth are capable of finding this place all on their own. Though it is fun to watch them try. You should make it easy on them to find you. Because overly paranoid or overly confident are excellent states of mind to make mistakes in."

"John Winchester lives in a constant state of both… and he rarely makes mistakes on a hunt. " She pointed out. "Thank you … for watching over Jack." She told him. "I think what I need to do, first, is up the stakes. " Bobby Singer was alone in the world but the other two were not. She knew the roadhouse well. Had once considered Ellen a friend. Perhaps she should pay her a friendly visit while the boys were away. She smiled at that thought. Not that she would hurt Ellen or her daughter, after all they had done nothing to her son…and her fear and out rage would have more impact.

Ellen was as mad as a spitting cat on bath day. Jo was sick, she couldn't get the girl to drink even water. And Bill with that damn John Winchester and that damn Bobby Singer decided to go out on a hunt. Now. And no matter what she said, he went anyway.

Well, that's great. Just leave her alone with the sick kid. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She married a hunter, she knew what it was going to be like. Just some days...she wished they were a normal family.

Though she would never change what she had.

Jo was resting for the moment in a cot in the back, she liked to be around the roadhouse. She was a social girl, and this was a social spot, even if it was empty right now as Ellen restocked the liquor and the beer.

Maggie had waited for the men to be long gone. Too far gone to get back in any sort of time that would do any good. She was an odd creature. Not really demon, not really human, and as such she crossed over the salt at the doors very easily. She strode across the plank floor and stood at the bar watching silently, waiting for Ellen to turn around. There was a time when she would have come to this woman to cry on her shoulder, preferably with a bottle of tequila and a bowl of limes between them. She missed those times. But times changed. And tonight she was going to shatter what sentimentality might be left between them.

"Sorry, we're closed." Ellen said as she heard the door open, and finished putting the whiskey on the shelf. Then she turned around and dropped a glass she was holding. "Maggie." She breathed and her eyes cut to the back room where Jo was resting. She'd heard what Maggie had done to the Winchester boys. Bobby didn't have any kids. Bill did. And she was sleeping in the back room.

Maggie slid onto the bar stool at her side. "Why don't you break out the tequila, Ellen" it wasn't a request "We have a long night ahead of us, might as well settle in." She watched her eyes. "And don't even think about the weapons under the bar. They'd just piss me off anyway. Other than your daughter, who else is here?" She knew that sometimes hunters crashed at the road house. Had been one of them on occasion. In fact this was the very place it had all started… where she had met John.

"Just Jo." Ellen said, carefully pulling down the tequila and a couple of shot glasses. And produced the limes from under the bar, quickly, carefully. "I told you to stay away from John Winchester. You didn't listen, now it's all gone to hell and you're going to rampage over everyone else?" She asked. She had warned her to stay the hell away from John Winchester. The man was broken. Was barely well enough to be around his boys, and even that was debatable from what she had heard. Striking up a relationship of any kind with that man was dangerous.

"Everyone else rampaged over me. I went away, kept to myself… next thing I know your old man is dropping a house on me and my--." She paused, not ready to tell her that yet, as she poured the shots. "Him and the Singers. Did they tell you that part of the story, or just that I took the boys? They're good kids, aren't they?" She said conversationally as she reached for a salt shaker just a little down the bar.

"Never met them." Ellen said. Though if anyone asked her, they were probably as screwed up as their old man. Or were well on their way. Maggie certainly wasn't helping matters. "You're a demon. That's what hunters do. Hunt demons. Why are you so shocked and shaken? You know the drill as well as I do. Told you not to even look at Winchester ."

"Ellen, think about it.. Where am I? What did I have to cross to get here?" She asked. "I'm not a demon… I'm … something else. Not that it matters. What's done is done." She said as she took a shot, and indicated Ellen should join her. "Between us girls…" She said. "They nearly killed my son. He's about the same age as your daughter… left him broken in so many pieces even I couldn't heal him completely. So I'm not here, because of what they tried to do to me. That's not why I am going to kill your husband, Ellen. It's what they did to my boy. "

That made Ellen take a shot, and another. This woman, this former friend, was here to tell her that her husband was going to die. "He didn't know." Ellen said. "Or he would have said something to me." Bill kept his conscience clear by using Ellen as a sounding board. "So you're going to kill my child's father and he didn't know. Why don't you just go after Winchester and get it over with?" She was sure John didn't know about the child. And Jo was four...the timing was too close.

"I didn't know my father was possessed when I was conceived either. Didn't stop them from trying to kill me." Maggie said refilling her own glass. "They say that I have a choice… I can pick which side I fall on…I tried, Ellen. I tried to chose the right side. Really did. But the fact is, that choice was taken from me yesterday. Good, evil… all depends on whether you are on the giving or receiving end." She shrugged and downed the shot, refilling both of their glasses again "You were always a good friend Ellen… so I'm going to let you keep your daughter."

Ellen tossed back her shot, not bothering with the limes or salt. She was shivering, cold. This woman was going to kill her husband, and leave her child. Merciful, it was. She knew. "So I've sat on my ass in this bar, listening to every single hunter tell me their sob story and their hopes and dreams...including you...and I get to be punished for it. Great."

"We all are punished one time or another for things out of our control." Maggie said. "You knew this day would come when you hooked up with a hunter. They don't die in their beds. They bring violence and sorrow where ever they go. It's always been this way, it will be this way long after our grandchildren's grandchildren are gone. Take what I am leaving you and keep her safe. John won't get off so lucky."

Ellen thought of the boys, they'd already lost their mother. "John didn't sic the guys on you. They did that behind his back. All on their own." She was hell bent on destroying Ellen's family. Probably had already the Singers. Maybe there was one she could salvage as best she could.

"John is about as innocent as I am." Maggie said as she downed the shot and turned the glass upside down in front of her. "You have anything you want to say to Bill, do it soon." She told Ellen as she got up from the bar stool. "If there are any of these hunters that you care about… you warn them away from me. I'm leaving you and Jo alive because we were friends once. I have no reason to be so merciful to anyone else." With that she turned and walked toward the door, fading into the shadows before she reached it.

"Maggie!" Ellen said as Maggie disappeared. Then she threw a glass across the room before bursting into tears. Then she ran to the phone. "Bill! No, listen to me! Don't hang up!" She said as her husband tried to put her off. "I have to..." Bill hung up, probably figuring she was calling to give him grief on going on a hunt right now. She called him back. She knew she only had five seconds, if that. "Bill, I love you." She said and hung up, going into the back room and curling herself around her daughter.

Bill stared at the cell phone. A big heavy black thing Rick had decided they all needed, even if they were so prohibitively expensive that they all shared. Shaking his head, wondering what that was all about, he put it back in its carrying case. "How much farther?"

"What was that all about? " Bobby asked catching the look on Bill's face. Something weird had just happened. Bobby wasn't comfortable with weird when it came from a supposedly normal place.

John frowned, not happy with the distraction. "How did you track her down the last time?" He asked instead.

"We followed signs, trails. Took us two years." Bill said, shaking off a feeling of dread as best he could. "You don't have two years, not if she's on a rampage after us.

"Then we set up shop somewhere and wait for her to come to us." John said "Some place away from our families. Maggie isn't a patient woman when she is pissed." He doubted that had changed at all.

"You don't think she would go after the families while we are gone, do you ?" Bobby asked, considering she went after his boys and he hadn't even been involved.

"She took my sons to get me into position for something. Can't quite figure it out." Though he had a nice hole in his side to show for it. "So I don't think so. But we finish this then we don't have to worry about it." John said.

"I agree." Bill said. "I don't want to stay up nights wondering if she's going to go after Ellen and Jo if I so much as go to the corner store."

"She knows the old safe houses. She took my boys to the one in Tahoe. We hole up in one of those and wait for her to come to us, or for some of the research to pay off." John said and turned the car around, knowing the nearest one.

"Dad went after the lady didn't he?" Sammy said as he stared at his hands. He was afraid their father wouldn't come back this time. The only reason he didn't get hurt worse the first time was because Dean was there and the lady didn't want to hurt Dean. "Can't we make him come back?"

"I wish." Dean said as he organized Pastor Jim's library. It was boring, and this sucked, but the older man was giving them busy work as he tended to his flock of parishioners for a bit. "But that's where he went. He wants to make sure she doesn't come after us again."

"But what if he finds her?" Sammy asked, his eyes and voice betraying how scared he was. "He couldn't stop her last time… she would have killed him if you hadn't been there… where would we go if Dad's gone? They'd come and take us away and split us up, wouldn't they?" He said remembering why it was important that they not be noticed when they were alone, because the state would come and take them away and put them in different homes and they'd never get to see each other again.

Dean stopped what he was doing. "Dad's coming back." He said firmly, refusing to think of the alternative. "And...if he doesn't...we stay here with Pastor Jim. Or go to Caleb's. We are not going into a foster home." He was more than willing to go on the run if he had to. All of ten years old with a six year old in tow. If that's what it took.

Foster Home. To Sam those words were more terrifying than Demon or Werewolf. Monsters could be fought. The dreaded Foster Home couldn't. Dead was another word that was horrible and frightening. Mom was dead. This meant she didn't exist any more. Just gone. No more real in his memory than Care bears or Count Chocula. Just a picture. He loved her… or loved the idea of her. The Idea of Mom. Like Pastor Jim loved the God he had never actually seen, Sam loved the mother he couldn't remember.

"I'm scared Dean."

Dean swallowed. He wouldn't admit that he was. His father called him fearless. He wouldn't be fearful now. Sam needed him to be fearless. "Don't be." Dean said, going back to organizing books. "It's going to be fine. Dad's going to come back and we'll be fine." Because they had to be.

"Dean..." Sam said. "What if he doesn't?" His six year old mind couldn't wrap around this.

"Sam! Stop being a baby!" Dean snapped and felt bad at his brother's crushed expression. "Everything's going to be fine."

Sam's lower lip trembled and he bit down on it to make it stop. He turned away from his brother and went to sit on the far side of the room, clinging to the dinosaur. Everything wasn't going to be fine. He just knew something bad was going to happen. "was it because of me?" He asked "She said she needed my help and she took my blood… was it because of me that she could hurt him without touching him ?" He had seen far more than a boy his size should see on television much less in real life. He didn't understand what he had seen or experienced. "The blood should be all gone now, right? She cant use it to hurt him again… can she?"

It was a nervous silence. Bobby glanced at John and Bill as they drove. Bill stared out the window and tapped his fingers on his leg. Only John was calm, jaw set in determination as he stared straight ahead, turning onto the road where the ramshackle safe house was. Driving fast, steady, purposefully. This was it. One last showdown, and Maggie wouldn't be a concern anymore. One threat facing his family wiped off the face of the earth.

He ignored the repeating phrase in his head, Bill's voice..."I heard crying at the house..."

He ignored it. Because he had to. It was subjective what Bill might have heard, an illusion Maggie brought to buy herself time, to buy herself mercy. And John had no mercy left in him. Not for her. Not after seeing his Sam burning up with a mysterious fever that passed as quickly as it came. It could return for all he knew, and not subside the next time. No mercy after seeing the desperate protectiveness in his oldest. Protectiveness that covered a fear that no ten year old should ever feel.

There was no mercy for that woman. Not now. He wouldn't allow it.


	5. Chapter 5

Maggie watched the Impala come barreling down upon her. Yet she stood her ground, in the shadows of the tree the shadows cast upon the road by the cars on coming lights. She was one with them, insubstantial, and the car moved through her. The bumper, the engine, the front seat, so close to John she could smell his aftershave. Through into the back seat where she reached out and grabbed Bill Harvelle by the collar of his shirt and drug him screaming through the back windshield, over the trunk of the car as she passed through it, and onto the road behind them.

John slammed on the brakes, the car screaming in protest as he whipped it around, seeing Bill go through the back of the car. "Dammit!" He yelled as he got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. "Maggie!" He yelled into the darkness, arms spread wide. "Come on, it's me you want. Aren't you done playing games yet?"

"Games? Does this feel like a game to you, John? Feels like a hunt to me. How does it feel to be prey?" She asked through clenched teeth. Her grip on Bill's collar was tight enough that the man was clawing at his throat for air, panicking rather than fighting to be free.

John didn't respond, just shot rock salt in her direction. He was a damn good shot, had been well before he'd become the hunter he was now, and his new life had just firmed up those already more than adequate skills.

"Maggie, let him go." John said. "You really don't want me to turn this into a hunt." Others had hunted her, but not him. Never him. And he didn't want to start now, but he would. He could.

"What, you boys just got together to shoot the breeze?" She asked as she tightened the pressure on Harvelle's throat. Even the experienced hunter began to gag and gasp, clawing at his own throat "Don't lie to me John. You were never any good at it." She said. "Now put that damned thing down before you kill him. Cause all that shit does is piss me off."

"Maggie, let him go." John said, advancing slowly. He couldn't remember her ever being this much of a heartless bitch. Which only proved his own point to himself. Of what she had become because of what she was

"Why? They weren't going to let me go." She said. "Were you Bobby?" She didn't even look at the third man as he tried to sneak around from a different angle, but he lifted off of the ground and flew backwards, colliding with a tree with an audible thud. "You think you so called pure humans have the right to attack without retribution? That it's okay to destroy someone's family and not have it rain down upon your heads? Why should I let him go John? Why should your words have anymore weight than Ellen's?"

"Without retribution? You think I'm here without any sense of retribution?" John snapped. "Did you forget that you took my boys? That you kidnapped and terrorized two children? That you did something to Sammy?" He couldn't shake the image of a feverish Sammy and Dean's panic. She had hurt his boys, and that was a call for retribution. If she ever knew anything about him, the one thing she should remember is that no one hurt his boys and expected to get away with it. He watched Bobby go flying. "Your father killed his brother because of you. That's retribution enough, isn't it? You threatened Ellen. There's Bill's. That enough for you?!"

"No!" She yelled. "Even would have been for me to take your boys… to take Jo… to crush their little bodies before your eyes. Be thankful all I want is enough, and enough is these two dead."

Bill struggled more at the mention of Jo. He'd kill her himself if he had to, threatening his child like that. He knew how John felt, quite acutely, in that one moment.

"You goddamn bitch." John said. "Talk all you want about retribution and vengeance, it's a circle we're going to be caught in for a while." He couldn't get the screaming image of Sam out of his mind.

"Be still." She hissed at Bill. "I didn't touch her. I wouldn't do that to Ellen. "She told him, although she doubted any of the men here could understand the distinctions. Ellen would understand. But Ellen was a woman. Ellen understood that she was being generous in only taking the men. She had seen that in the woman's eyes. "You buried my child under a house… but yours will live… "

"A child we didn't know about." Bobby said, pulling himself up with the help of an oak tree.

"And is the kid dead? Is he?" John said, and somehow he doubted it. Things were piecing together in his mind, slowly. But they were.

"No…" She said. "But only because of my father. He was broken and gasping for the tiniest breath in my arms when he came." Her voice cracked and she shook it off. Glaring at Bobby with all the hatred she could muster "You didn't know? What the hell kind of hunter are you that you didn't know your target? What kind of person blows up a building with out making sure there aren't any innocents inside? You were careless and haphazard and that makes it alright? That makes it not your fault? Idiot! Human." She spat the word at him as though it were an insult. "Hypocrite!"

"Maggie, knock it off!" John said in what his boys would call his 'Marine voice.' "So you're admitting you're not human. Thanks for the validation. You've got your chance to leave now. Take it. Now."

"But I was, John." She said. "I had a choice… an Angel is an Angel.. fallen or beatific… it's all politics." She said in a voice that sounded almost shell shocked. "I made the choice that would save my son… what I become is on their heads too. And you aren't the one in control here John… you aren't even really a target… you can go away and be happy with your boys… just leave them here and it's all done.. I'll never touch Sam and Dean again. But you go now… before I change my mind and really think about why this all came to be."

"Maggie, let him go." John said. "Enough is enough!" If Bill and Bobby died on his watch, there would be no peace for Maggie. He swore it. And he was a determined, stubborn man.

"Listen to yourself, John. You came here to kill me. Because your boys were frightened, and I suspect Sam felt the after effects of what it took to save my son. But you want me to let them go? Why? Because they are your friends? Or because it was my child they brutalized? What does it matter if it's my child… a life I brought into this world? It's not enough John. As long as they live… it will never be enough."

John looked at Bobby. At Bill. And finally at Maggie. With cold, dark eyes. "Let them go. And it ends here. As long as you don't pop up on the radar, you're safe." That was his final offer. Or else he'd hunt her straight into hell if that's what it took.

"Can you honestly guarantee that John?" She asked him. "You outed me, remember. They will keep coming and there are men out there who make these two seem cautions and responsible. Most of them wont care about my son because of what I am. They won't care how they hurt him in the process. How can you promise this won't happen again?"

"I didn't." John said. "I said there would be three less hunters on your back. And if you kill them, you know there will be a cry for arms." He said. "And you don't want me on your trail. Now I left you alone until you messed with my boys. You know that." And if John got on Maggie's trail, without the leverage she had now, it wouldn't end nicely. In a few short years, he'd turned into one of the best there was, because of drive, determination, and anger. She shouldn't want to add to that anger.

Maggie knew what she was dealing with. She knew John better than he realized. "Fine… but it's on you." She told him. "Your word for all three. If I so much as trace a hunter back to you three, all bets are off. No looking for me… no telling anyone else where to look or what to look for. " She said as she released her hold on Bill Harvelle. She didn't have to tell him what would come down if any of them were responsible for something befalling her child again. Even if their involvement were merely in the passing on of information. John of all people would know. And once he had a chance to talk to Ellen… he would know a good deal more.

John looked at Bobby who nodded. And Bill, who nodded as he rubbed his throat, still gasping for breath, but it was easier to breathe as time went by.

"Fine." He said with a sharp nod, lowering his rifle. "You have my word. It won't be traced back to us three."

"Then we're done here." She said and turned her back on them stepping into the shadows and disappearing, going back to her son, with the hopes of rebuilding a life somewhere. Fake identities were as easy for a hunter (or former hunter) to come by as ammo and water. She wouldn't have trouble assuming a new identity for herself and her son. But she would have to teach him to be careful, even more so than other children. It wasn't the life she had hoped to give her son but it could be a good life if they were careful.

And if John kept his word… he could continue on his chosen path unmolested as well.

December 1993

John Winchester got his boys settled into the hotel room and went shopping without them. It was just easier to do when they weren't there. Not that he had thought about Christmas much. His plan was to be back on Christmas day and just spend it with his boys. Get dinner at one of the restaurants that were open in town, give out a couple of gifts, let the boys go play at a play ground or something that they normally didn't get to do. That was the plan. He hoped he could stick to it but he wasn't going to let himself worry about it. If he did it would just make the hunt that much harder, and he had to focus on the hunt.

He picked up the usual. Things that were easy for Dean to fix. Ravioli, spaghettios, Milk and cereal. He picked up sandwich fixings and because he thought it would be nice for them, a couple of microwave TV dinners and some egg nog. Only a half gallon though, cause Sam had drank too much of it the year before and threw up all over the place. He had found out from the manager when he had gotten back to the hotel. The woman was just concerned and wanted to know if the little one was feeling any better. And had praised Dean for how mature he was to take care of it while John was out running errands. Dean had covered well, and John was proud of him, but he didn't want to see a repeat of it happening. In some ways Dean spoiled Sam too much. With that thought still in mind he tossed in a couple of bags of chips, and couple of candy canes.

He tossed a stuffed bear into the cart since he had seemed to lose interest in the T-Rex, and promised himself to keep an eye out for something for Dean while he was out on the road. He often saw little things here and there that he thought his sons would like usually he forgot to go back for them but this was Christmas. He was going to do better this year. He had come too close to losing them, to take them for granted this year.

He paid for his purchases, and then stuffed the bear in the trunk of the car for later. Maybe if he looked at it every time he opened it for weapons he would remember to pick up things along the way. That was what he told himself. He didn't want to be a bad father. He loved his sons. They were the world to him. He was never going to be the normal father though. His world was topsy turvey since Mary had been killed, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get that balance back.

He put the groceries in the back seat and started the car, letting it run for moment in the cold December air. "I have made a mess of things, haven't I Mary?" He said leaning his head against the steering wheel. "I'll make it up to them. I promise, once I am sure that thing isn't coming back for Sammy, I will make it up to them. Right now I'm keeping them safe the only way I know how."

He leaned back in the seat once more. "I miss you." He said and wiped at his eyes, even though there was only the faintest misting of tears there. This time of year was always hard on him. Always hard to keep the emotions in check. He pulled out of the parking lot and pulled himself together on the way to the motel. It was just outside of town. It was a dump and he hated leaving them there but there were fewer temptations for little boys if they were outside of town.

He hauled in the bags of food. "Alright, here you go." He said setting it down on the table in the kitchenette. He pulled out his wallet and set 20 on the table. "That is for emergencies." If they had to get out of the hotel he didn't want them walking far in the winter cold. The diner across the way would be sufficient until Pastor Jim could come get them. He was just a couple hours away. "Okay, I should be back either Christmas eve or Christmas morning. But don't worry until the day after. The room is paid for until the morning of the 27th but I want you to head out of here if I'm not back by the 26th."

"Yes sir." Dean said, starting to put the groceries away in the shelves in the kitchenette. Pocketing the twenty. Figuring out how to get a tree, or some sort of tree for Christmas. Dad might call them Christmas and Christmas Eve, but he didn't really know what they were any more. Dean still remembered. He remembered normal Christmases, even if they were fading away in his mind. His mother making cookies. The gifts under the tree. The plans to start decorating the night his mother died. The man standing in his brother's room that night. He blinked as the memories came back until they went away.

"We'll be fine."

"I know you will, son. If I'm not back, you are to go to the diner down the way, and call Pastor Jim. Just sit there and have hot cocoa or something until he gets there. If I don't make it back by noon on the 26th I will meet you at Jim's." He told his son. "There are windows over there away from the door." He said, always making sure now that his boys weren't trapped like that again. "If someone busts in the door you shoot first and ask questions later." If he had done that before they never would have been taken, or at least that was what he told himself to make his own guilt fade to the back ground. Just another guilt on a long list that he ignored because he had to. Right along side the pain and the grief that he didn't let himself express.

"Oh cool, potato chips, Thanks Dad." Sammy said as he tried to help his brother put things away.

"Got it." Dean said. He understood. If he had shot first and asked questions later they wouldn't be going through this drill again. His dad wouldn't be so wound up about leaving them. He'd never make that mistake again, that much Dean knew. He didn't have a choice. It was his fault Sammy had gotten taken, he knew he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time that night. They wouldn't have taken him, but Sammy...that woman...that's who she was after.

John nodded. "Good." He had taken for granted that Dean would do what he needed to do before. He had forgotten that his oldest son was still a kid and could get scared and forget to react how he should have reacted. He could tell him that he understood, which he did, but that would make it that much easier for him NOT to do what he needed to do again. And with Maggie still alive he couldn't risk that. He had seen what had been left of Rick Singer when the demon left his body. She had done that too him. And all Rick had time to say before he died was that she had his son. He knew what her plan had been because of the demon inside, of that he was certain, but it meant that she had an agenda and Sammy was on it some how.

He tousled his son's hair a little and gave him a smile, or at least what passed for it these days. Dean was wrong. John had always been this wound up about leaving them. He had just been better at hiding it when he could convince himself that they were safe by themselves. Now he knew that they weren't. "Watch out for Sammy." He then looked over at his youngest. The one who might not be completely his…"Sammy, you mind your brother while I am gone."

"Yes sir." He said and went to go sit down in the chair to watch the TV. He minded Dean about as well as he minded his father. Sometimes better. Sam still had his own demons after their kidnapping. Most of them involving the way his father had reacted after they were rescued. He hadn't even asked if they were okay. That still bothered him. He had gotten over the fear of it all, didn't freak when his father left or anything. At least when he was awake he didn't have any trouble. He woke up with nightmares sometimes, but that was okay cause Dean was there. He knew what had happened and Sam didn't have to talk about it.

"Right then." John said as he grabbed his bag and started out the door. He could feel the distance between himself and his younger son. It was like something had broken between them that night and he didn't know how to fix it. He wasn't any good at fixing emotional things, never had been. "I'll call every night to check in. Be good." He said as he headed out the door.

Dean waited until John was through the door then automatically threw the lock, knowing in a way that he was waiting for that click before getting into the Impala and going on his way. Then he sighed a bit and went over to the kitchen. "Okay, how about we just pig out on chips?" He wasn't in the mood to cook.

"Okay." Sam said and got onto the love seat so they could sit together with the bag. "Do you think there are any Christmas shows on tonight?" He asked. He loved the old once, with the claymation snow man sliding threw the snow singing about silver and gold. He wondered if Dean was okay but knew better than to ask. He always seemed down when their father left now.

"I think so." Dean said and settled down on the love seat, opening up the bag of chips and grabbing the soda and a couple of paper cups. He was partial to 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' himself. But it was the season, there was more than enough to go around as he got back up and turned the TV on, finding a channel where the silver and gold snowman was just beginning his schtick.

Sam watches and listened as Burl Ives narrated the story of Rudolph the red nosed reindeer giggling through some of it, especially the antics of the old gold digger and the abominable snow man. Sam had never had a normal Christmas. To him this was normal. Sitting with his brother and watching Christmas shows, and enjoying the extra goodies that their father gave them this time of year. He leaned against his brother comfortable and secure where he was. Even after what had happened to them, he didn't think anything about only having a 10 year old to watch over him. Dean took good care of him and that was what mattered.

Dean let himself get lost in the old tale, with the claymation and songs. For once allowing himself to be a kid, which he never really got to be except on those moments he took it and didn't let go. Dinner was chips and soda, he made a mental note to get something decent in Sam before bed. He knew normal kids had curfews and bedtimes, but they didn't. No one around to enforce it, and besides. If they stayed up too late, they could always sleep the next day in the car when John drove to wherever it was that they were headed next.

They were in a hotel, so they weren't surrounded by normal Christmas stuff. What passed for a lobby in this place didn't have a tree on it. The sign outside was decorated in blinking lights, and there were wreaths on the doors, but that was about it. It oddly helped in feeling less isolating, knowing everyone else in the hotel wasn't having a traditional Christmas either.

Sam looked up at his brother when the show was interrupted for a weather warning. Snow. He would have been excited if he had thought he would get to play in it. "Do you think it will slow Dad down?' He asked. He hoped not. He hated calling other grownups to come and get them. It always made him feel like an outsider… an invader. Not that he would have understood how to explain it.

"Dad? No." Dean said, shrugging. " Kansas used to get a crap load of snow." Since he had memories of Lawrence , unlike Sam. "It shouldn't. Might slow us down when it's time to leave." He'd get John to let Sam play in it at least once before they moved on. Maybe talk to him about it on the phone, as long as they promised to stay in the courtyard or something.

"Did you get to play in it ?" He asked looking up at him curiosity all over his face. It was part of the reason the snow man was so cool. Snow was this magical thing that he never really had much to do with except to go from hotel to car through it sometimes.

"I don't remember." Dean said. "I think so." He admitted. "Things were different then. So probably. We'll get to play in it this year." Even if he had to sneak Sam out

"That would be fun." He said with a smile. He knew it would piss his father off if they snuck out to play but he didn't point that out to his brother. If anyone knew all the little harmless ways to make their father go ballistic it was Dean. And if he was willing to risk it so was Sam. He would think of some way to make his father mad at him instead of at Dean when the time came. It worked most of the time since the kidnapping. Not completely but it did work. At least Dean wasn't in trouble alone anymore. To a 6 year old that made all the difference in the world.

"We'll wait for Dad to call." Dean said. "Then we'll head outside for a bit." It would be harmless. And needed. He hated being cooped up in the hotel room. He always had.

Sam nodded. "I won't say anything to get us in trouble." He said. He used to have a big mouth, always saying the wrong thing and getting them caught. He had learned to keep his mouth shut about things. He didn't want Dean getting into trouble cause he was trying to make him happy.

"Good." Dean said. He didn't like getting in trouble, he just always ended up that way. Because his father expected him to be an adult, and even Dean could see how wrong that was. That he wasn't an adult, he was a ten year old kid doing the best he could, even if John never thought it was enough. "So we'll watch TV until Dad calls."

It was the look in Dean's eyes right then that made Sam's little heart ache. A look that would stay there for years to come. Sam couldn't explain what the reasons were, or the intricacy of the emotions behind those eyes,. He just knew that Dean wasn't happy and it had something to do with their father. It was that look that in some ways put the wedge between John and Sam that would only grow over the years.

Sam simply nodded. "I think they said the Grinch was on next." He wondered what sort of demon the Grinch was but didn't ask cause Dean probably wouldn't know and it wouldn't be any fun to try and find out.

They watched the Grinch (cartoon version). Then John called, so once Dean got off the phone and assured all was well, got Sam dressed for the outside and headed outside with his brother in the newly fallen snow on top of older crunchier snow. The moon was out, and it was a clear cold night. And they did that for two nights, when people wouldn't see them and have no idea that two minors were shacked up in a sleazy motel room while their father hunted things they denied even existed.

Sam woke up on Christmas morning and looked around the hotel room. He still believed in Santa Claus even though he was told that he wasn't real by some of the other kids…older kids with the hunter families. He just figured that if Demons were real, and witches, and monsters could really hide in the closet and under your bed, why couldn't Santa Claus come down a chimney and give kids presents. He also figured that they were hiding so well from the monsters that Santa couldn't find them either. Although he always hoped on Christmas morning, that just maybe someone would have slipped up enough for Santa to show up.

He quietly made his way over to the chair and turned on the TV keeping the volume low.

Dean woke up shortly after and went to get the cereal for breakfast, not knowing why he was disappointed that his father wasn't there. He should have expected it, but he didn't. He had hoped, but that was dashed. But it was Christmas, even if their father didn't remember. "Okay, Sam." He said, handing him a bowl of cereal. "anything good on?"

Like most cheap hotels of the day they had cable. He flipped through the channels past the boring parades and the football he didn't have any interest in. "I don't know yet." He was hoping for something fun to watch. Foot ball never kept his interest long. It was just a bunch of guys moving back and forth on the screen to him at the tender age of 6. He paused for a moment on the old movie about the real Santa working in a department store and moved on. He didn't want to see that one. The little girl got a home at the end. It would make him cranky to watch it again. He finally found a couple of cartoons but then handed the bulky remote control to Dean. " You pick."

Dean balanced his cereal on his lap and channel surfed until he found MTV. It was good enough. Nothing too Christmassy and it was good filler noise. "It snowed again last night." He said. "Looks like good snowball snow."

"Oh cool!" Sam exclaimed. The other two nights the snow had been too dry, it wouldn't stick together so the had only been able to toss handfuls of snow at each other that mostly flew away in the wind before hitting its target.

Sam wasn't into music videos yet, it was kinda okay and kinda boring but he didn't say anything. Dean let him have lots of things that he wanted when he could have kept it for himself it was only fair that Sam let him pick things sometimes. "I'm sorry I didn't get a present for you." He said. He had left his crayons in the car and couldn't even make him a card this year.

"It's all right. I didn't get a present for you either, so we're even." Dean said. That it was quiet was enough of a present. Sure he wished he had a tree, and his dad there, and a real place for Christmas, but since no one was attacking them, they weren't running or driving, and his dad wasn't bleeding all over the place, all in all, it was a pretty good Christmas.

"I guess so." Sam said, he liked quiet days too. The hotel rooms weren't so bad when things were quiet. Boring but not so bad. He envied the other children at school. The ones who lived in the same house all the time, and went to the same school all year long. Kids that had moms that took care of them and loved them with dads who taught them to ride bikes and fish instead of how to clean his weapons and what the signs of possession were.

Dean didn't mind the upbringing. It was necessary. Everything that people were afraid was in the dark, but denied it could be, really was. And you had to know how to deal with it. His dad dealt with it while everyone else hid under the covers and ducked their heads. His father was a special breed, and he was just preparing his sons for what was out there.

"So we'll have spaghettios for lunch." Dean said.

"Okay." Sam said. He was sick of spaghettios but he wouldn't complain at Dean today. Not on Christmas, and it wasn't like he had gone to do the shopping anyway. And his Dad was just trying to make it easier for Dean to take care of them. Spaghettios were easy. "Maybe there will be a movie on this afternoon." He was sick of videos already. Or maybe Dean would read to him again. Sam could read on his own but it wasn't the same really. Dean knew the bigger words.

"Maybe Dad will be back by then." Dean said. His father, when he was in the mood, told the best stories of his various adventures. From his time in the Marines to whatever hunt he had just come off. And sometimes...sometimes...stories of their mother.

"Maybe." Sam said nodding but not having any such hopes. He didn't think today would be any different than any other day even if his dad made it home. Christmas always made him sad. Usually from Thanksgiving to New Year's their father was gone as much as possible, and didn't say much if he wasn't. Sam supposed it was because their mom was gone. And the lady had said he looked like his mom…maybe that was why he didn't want to be around much.

Dean got up and made popcorn as a movie came on and sat back down. It was a normal day, even if the programming was seasonal. But John hadn't called for the day yet, so they couldn't go outside. That's what they had done, wait for John to call, Dean would tell him they were going to sleep or something, then they'd go outside. He'd leave the window open so he could hear if the phone rang again, but they were basically in the clear.

John was growing impatient. He was stuck in holiday traffic. Of all the things to keep him away from his boys when he needed to be there the most it… something mundane like holiday traffic. On top of everything else the heater coil had gone out in the Impala and he was freezing. It was going to keep him in town a few days longer to get it fixed too. He wasn't going to have his boys out in this weather without heat.

He glanced at his watch every five minutes, hoping to get there with at least part of the day left to spend with the boys. He had made a point to remember this time, had done everything he could to try and give the boys at least a little bit of Christmas and he wasn't going to make it back because of fucking holiday traffic.

The sun was sinking below the horizon when he reached his exit, although it would still take time to get to the hotel, at least he was going to make this time.

Dean shook his head at his brother. It was already late evening. "Not until Dad calls." He said firmly. It was bad enough they went outside like they did, but to screw up that badly and miss John's call? That would be unforgivable. So he made dinner, heated up some canned soup and made some sandwiches and they played Uno. They were missing some cards, but they were both so bad at the game it didn't much matter.

Half an hour later John pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, relieved to see the lights on in the hotel room. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them as he got out of the car and went to the trunk. He took some of the weapons out of the huge duffle bag he kept them in and put the presents in on top. It wasn't a lot but it was something. Mostly games to keep them occupied, books for Sammy, and a good hunting knife for Dean. It was time to start giving him his own weapons. He looked at the teddy bear he had picked up originally at the supermarket and took it out of the bag and placed it back in the trunk.

A reminder.

He then slung the back over his tired shoulders and started for the door.

Dean heard someone approaching and stopped eating so he could listen. Then he heard the signal. But he still made sure he knew where the weapon was, just in case. Then the door opened and it was...

Wow.

"Dad!" Dean said, getting off the couch and going over to his father. He made it! He actually made it.

John smiled and bent down to hug his son, and pulled Sammy into the hug with Dean. "Told you I would be back." He said as though that would have been enough to ensure his arrival. "So, looks like I missed dinner, you two still hungry?" He asked not yet giving away the fact that there were presents.

"Yeah." Dean said. It was filling, they'd eaten well. But their father was there, he was here, so he could always eat again. It really was Christmas. Their father showing up was better than Santa Claus.

"Okay then, let's get the two of you bundled up and we'll walk over to the diner. It's still open I saw coming in. we're going to be staying a little longer here than I had planned. Heaters busted and we need to get it fixed before going anywhere." He said as he looked around to find their winter boots while Dean got Sam bundled up to go outside. It didn't occur to him that it should be the other way around.

Dean made sure Sam had his mittens on, and then zipped his coat up, then got his own stuff on. Knelt down to get Sam's boots on after John found them, then pulled his own. "Dad?" Dean said, looking up at his father with a hopeful look. "Do you think after we can play outside?"

"I guess." He said with a nod. "I'm sure this place has to have a park somewhere." He didn't want them playing in a parking lot where people might lose control of the vehicles on the snow and ice. "Well, here's hoping they still have ham or turkey left when we get over there." He said as he opened the door to let his sons out side. It didn't seem like much. To most it would be a normal evening out on the road. But nothing in the life of a Winchester was normal.

Dean breathed in the chilly crisp air, permissively being outside was even sweeter than taking it on the sly as he grabbed his brother's hand to guide him across the street. "I'm hoping for ham." Dean said.

Sam didn't understand what the big deal was about either turkey or ham. "More sandwiches?" He asked incredulously, because that was the only way he had ever had either meat. "Can I have a banana split instead? I already had sandwiches tonight."

John started laughing then, not quite seeing the big picture of such a statement. But rather enjoying one of those **kids say the darndest things** moments. He didn't get to see many of those any more.

Dean shook his head. "You can have a banana split after." Dean promised as they crossed the road and shook off the cold in the warmth of the diner. "Then we'll build a snowman." That a ten year old was setting the itinerary for a six year old while the father stood by didn't strike him as odd.

The waitress come over with menus. "Get stuck in the storm?" She asked, seeing John nod she smiled. "What a way to spend Christmas. Well you will have our undivided attention tonight you're the only customers." She said as she led the way over to a booth in the back, far from the kitchen and the door, and near the heater vent because she thought John looked cold enough to turn blue. "Any thing to drink?" She asked.

"Coffee and 2 hot cocoas." He said as he got settled in, glad for the heater.

Dean and Sam slid into the bench across from him, and Dean helped Sam off with his coat and mittens , folding them up to stash beside him along with his as he took the menu. "Look! They do have ham!" Dean said. "Like the kind that goes on a plate, not between bread." He said to Sammy.

Sammy still didn't get what all the excitement was about. It was meat. It was good in sandwiches. Dean always wanted turkey sandwiches on Thanksgiving and ham sandwiches on Christmas so there had to be some significance to it. He pondered it a while but his mind shifted gears when she came back with their hot cocoa. "Oooh! Whipped cream on top too!"

Dean grinned at his brother, he was enjoying the whipped cream himself. The waitress took their orders, and Dean got ham for both him and his brother as he watched his father rub his hands to warm up. "So it's okay?" He asked. "It went well?" Talking about the last job.

"Jobs done. Minimal fuss." He said. "The traffic was more to blame for my being late than the job." He said honestly. "Back roads are almost as bad as the freeway. So what did you boys do today?" He asked.

"Watched some TV, made popcorn, played some cards." Dean said. "Watched it snow." He said with a bit of wistfulness. No playing outside earlier, because John hadn't called yet. "Normal day I guess."

"We'll get outside in it for a bit, once we eat. I should be warm enough then." He said with a smile. Right then he felt more like frosty the snow man than a fierce demon hunter. He was chilled to the bone. Which was exactly why they were staying put till he could get the parts for the Impala and fix her. He wasn't going to put his boys through a cold ride like that when he had other options.

"Really?" Dean said, and a genuine grin split his young face and he shared that grin with his brother as the waitress brought their plates, ham with all the trimmings and more hot cocoa and coffee. "See? No sandwiches." He said as he dug into his food with relish. This was turning out to be a pretty good Christmas actually.

Sam smiled and made for the hot cocoa again. "Easy there tiger." John said. "How about a little food with all that whipped cream?" He remembered the egg nog incident and didn't want a repeat of it tonight. He wanted things to be remembered for the fun they were having, not Sam's stomach ache.

Sam nodded and started to eat the meal before him. It was good. He couldn't remember a whole lot of meals like this. They had eaten in restaurants like this before but Sam had always ordered from the little kid's menu which didn't have grown up food. A lot of grilled cheese sandwiches or mac and cheese. Not that he minded he loved those things, but this was good too.

The food was good, since they were the only customers in the diner, the cook wasn't rushed and had taken his time. And it showed. Dean ate his food, feeling nice and warm through the food and the fact that their father was here, safe and in a good mood. He definitely believed in Santa Claus now, even if he though Santa actually drove a plow and had cleared the roads a bit for John to come back to them.

John enjoyed his food, it was good. The whole scene was good. He was relaxing and slowly warming up, the boys were all smiles and no one was arguing or whining. They were just a normal family sitting down to dinner. Well as normal as you could be after all they had been through. "So… snow first or presents?" John asked, looking to Dean.

"Presents?" Dean asked, surprised. "We have presents?" Usually it was the other hunters, especially Pastor Jim, who got them presents, Dad made himself scarce during the holiday season. He said it was because of an increase in supernatural activity, but Dean knew the truth, even at his age. That doing holiday stuff with what was left of his family reminded him of what he had lost.

"Yeah, you have presents. Now… presents or snow first?" He asked with a smile as studied his sons' faces. It didn't occur to him that it was unusual for them to have Christmas presents. Didn't occur to him that Sammy had been confused about the ham because he hadn't really been around for a traditional Christmas dinner. He was just living in the moment. Pushing the past and the future away as far as he could to just sit there with his boys and enjoy the day. It would all come crashing back down on him later, when the lights were out and the children were asleep. Hitting him harder to make up for lost time. But for now, he just wanted to see his sons smile.

"Presents." Dean said with childlike exuberance. Letting himself be that ten year old he was supposed to be. "Definitely presents!" Then his face fell. "We didn't get you anything." Because they never had a chance, not with the rules to stay inside all the time, and the constant traveling.

John looked at his sons with sorrowful eyes for a moment. Reality crashing back on him for a moment. "You were there and safe when I came back. That's all I ever need." He said and meant it. It was what kept him grounded, sane… willing to come back alive. He took the money out of his wallet to pay for their meals and put it on the table along with a tip for the waitress. "Come on… they're back at the hotel."

Dean waited until Sam finished his hot cocoa, then bundled him back up for the walk across the street, throwing his own things on quickly. "Come on, Sammy." He said, taking his brother's hand as he looked both ways before crossing the street. Without Sammy, he probably would have just darted across. With Sammy, he was careful. Always careful.

John followed behind, watching as his oldest boy took charge of Sam. The way the boy actually listened to him. He was proud of Dean. He was going to grow into a fine man one day. He had no doubt of it, one that his present and past self could both be proud of. He wasn't blind. He knew that he wasn't the man he used to be. He had changed that night and there would be no going back.

He watched Dean take them into the hotel room, Sam shooting questions at him three at a time, Dean answering as patiently as a 10 year old could. He wondered if it weren't time. If perhaps once they were asleep that now was the time to make sure Dean would always be able to watch over his brother when John couldn't.

"Well…" He said with a smile. "They're in the duffle." He told the boys and sat down in the big almost comfortable chair to watch them open their presents.

They glowed with excitement as they tore through the duffel bag. It wasn't hard to figure out

whose presents belonged to who. Dean was ecstatic over his hunting knife. It was his own, and it was a good one. He already knew how to pick out good weapons, and it bode well for him getting his own gun soon. He was raised surrounded by it, and he thrived on it. Hunting.

"Wow!" Dean said, holding it up to glint in the light. "Thanks, Dad!"

Sammy looked through his books, Showing them to Dean excitedly. "Can we read this one tonight?" He still had trouble with some of the bigger words, or at least that was what he told Dean. He could read them on his own, but it wasn't as much fun. Then he hit the games, which were for both of them, like a typical small child, anxious to see what the next one was and what you could do with it.

"Sure." Dean said as he opened one of the games, one that could be played in the back seat of the Impala. Which was great, because the ones they had were worn and old. "Come on, let's go play outside." Dean said, pulling out the snow pants and various other things. Things they had to keep warm incase the heating system in the Impala wasn't up to snuff, but worked great for outside.

John got up and pulled on his own winter gear. Now that he had a chance to get warm he could handle going back out into the snow. "Get in the car. We'll head over to the park. Should get in some fun there before they come and tell us its past curfew." He suggested. Parking lots in the winter were not safe for small children. He didn't want to risk them getting hit by some poor shmo who just lost control of his car on the ice.

Dean led Sam quickly out to the car, where they found a park that wasn't gated closed and even had some light. "Whoo hoo!" Dean said as he ran through the snow before throwing a handful of it at his brother.

Sam squealed in delight, sliding around on the snow, actually playing with his brother. Dean was usually standing watch like his father was now, hunched down a little into something that looked like it might be comfortable, if you weren't prone to falling backwards like Sam was. But this time he was actually playing not just pretending to. He made a snow ball, not that Dean gave quarter while he did it and that only made Sam giggle more as the snow rained down on his head. Finally, with his fragile snow ball in hand he turned and tossed it at his brother and ran to find cover behind the teeter totter. He knew better than to really hide, but it would give him something to duck behind.

John watched his sons play and smiled softly. "Did I get it right this time?" He asked in a whisper soft voice, speaking to the ghost of his wife. The one that was always hovering at the back of his mind, more real, more potent than any spirit he had lain to rest. Hers was the still small voice that kept him in line, reminded him to try at least a little to be a father as well as a warrior. The voice that screamed at him that they were just boys, let them just be boys.

He could do that tonight. One last night as a little boy. He hated what he was going to do, as much as he hated the necessity of it. There was no one else he could trust, so many people had proven that to him time and again. That there was no one else he could trust with his sons lives… but his sons. It was wrong to leave them alone so much of the time. He knew that, as surely as he knew that he put too much weight on Dean's small shoulders. But there was no one else. NO one else.

He ran his hand through the snow, practicing the sigil he would have to make later that night. The one that would alter the course of his sons' lives. But it would keep them safe. Keep them alive, and with any luck, keep their souls intact. He had to make sure that was done, and he knew that he wasn't the one for the job. He wanted to be. More than anyone realized, John Winchester wanted to be the one to keep Sammy safe, to teach him the little things that Dean was teaching him now. But he wasn't that man any longer. The part of him that could be a good father, a good man, was broken beyond repair. All he could do was try to keep them safe, and trust Sammy into gentler kinder hands.

Dean would grow up under John's hand, and he would thrive there, John knew that now. Even now he thrived on the hunt. He was lippy sometimes, and flippant, but Dean didn't have a dark bone in his body. He would be ferocious even if John didn't follow through with his plans for later, but he carried Mary's warmth inside him. Her tenderness. Sam… if what he had learned about Samuel was true, John, untempered by Dean, would break him. Would turn him into something cold and cruel. No. It was better that he do this. That he entrust Sam's body and soul to Dean's keeping for now.

John rubbed out the sigil he had drawn. One last night of child hood. I promised you that, Mary. I promised you that. God I miss you he thought and scooped up the snow to form a snow ball and held it up in his hand looking at his two sons trying to decide which one he should hit first.

Dean and Sam had forgone snowballs and were just tossing snow at each other, until their coats and hats and hair were misted with white. Then Dean saw his father and grinned. "Come on, Sammy. It's gonna be a snow war, I can tell." They'd have to seriously start making snowballs if they were going to defeat their father.

John tossed the snowball with his usual accuracy hitting his eldest boy square in the chest, then went to making balls and stacking them near by, he watched as his boys took shelter behind some of the play ground equipment to start making their own arsenal. Ever vigilant, even though he was playing along with them.

Sam was getting into this. He couldn't stop giggling and laughing. Even if Dean had to help him make the snowballs tighter so that they would hold together when he tossed them at their father. He couldn't remember having this much fun before with their father.

Dean was laughing as well as he packed the snowballs, spitting on a few of them to make them hold. His nose and cheeks were red, as were Sammy's but it was a perfect night. The snowing had died down to large fluffy flurries and they were having fun with their dad. What could be better than that?

When they had a respectable pile, he looked at Sammy. "All right, here we go!" He said and started lobbing snowballs at their father.

John started to laugh as he brought his arm up to protect his face from flying snow and peeked underneath to see where to aim at his boys. They played and played hard until lips and fingers were purple with the cold and all three had chattering teeth. "Okay, let's go back. Heat up some of that egg nog, if there is any left and then into bed. "

"Don't drink too much of it." Dean warned Sam as they got back into the Impala to head back to the hotel. This had been a great night and he was still grinning ear to ear. "Dad? Since we're just waiting for the car to be fixed and there's not another job, we can play outside a lot, right?"

"Yeah, may as well be out in the cold too, while I work on the car." He told him as he got the car going. It wasn't like he was turning the boy into a man over night. He would still very much be a child. That's what he told himself. That's what he promised his wife, whether she could hear him or not. That he wasn't destroying one son to save another.

He parked in front of the hotel room and got out, waiting for the boys to join him before going inside. Still being vigilant, still ever paranoid. "I'll get the egg nog warmed up while you to get into your Pajama's and under the blanket. Try not to pick anything too silly on the TV" he said with a chuckle. He would make sure they slept well that night. He didn't want them waking up.

They were still at the age, young enough, where they shared a bed when money was tight. So Dean angled the TV away from the couch and toward the bed as he and Sam got changed into their pajamas and climbed under the blankets, wiggling their frozen toes in the newfound warmth of the bed. The rosiness caused by the cold was fading from their faces as Dean found a not too silly cartoon to watch on the television as they bunkered down for sleep.

John had considered spiking the egg nog in a more traditional method but he didn't like the idea of feeding them alcohol at this age. That was for numbing the pain. God knew he had spent enough nights trying to numb the pain. Instead he laced it with a little children's benedryl. It would make them sleepy and if they woke for any reason it would all be a dream by morning. He hated doing this. He hated it more than he hated leaving them behind while on the hunt. But there was no choice. Not now.

They drank the eggnog, a couple of glasses. Sam passed out first and Dean fixed the blankets around Sam as he watched the television. Every time John thought Dean was finally out, his eyes would snap open, glazed, but open. He was fighting it. Because this was what Christmas was supposed to be, and he knew if he went to sleep it would be over. And he didn't want it to be over. So he was going to stay awake for as long as possible, even if he was tired and seeing double and couldn't stop yawning.

John cued in to what was going on and eased over to the bed. "Scoot over." He said. Two small boys didn't take up much room. He settled on the edge of the bed and slid his arm around his oldest son, and just sat there, watching what ever was on the TV, waiting, yet somehow not wanting that moment right then to end.

Dean looked up at his father with absolute admiration. It was pure and unbridled, his father was his hero. He knew what John went out and fought every day, and he was bad ass enough to come back every time. Couldn't be said for some of the others he knew. Even if he didn't see them, he knew not everyone came back. Because not every soldier came back in war. But his father did.

But as much as he was fighting it, he finally drifted off to sleep, a sleep deep enough that if a bomb went off next to him, he might roll over, but not wake up. He was completely out, in a deep dreamless sleep, the day leaving a small smile on his face.

John sighed, he didn't want to do this. He slipped out of bed though whether he wanted to or not, and went to clear out the space on the floor, whether he wanted to or not. John's life was a long string of things he did whether he wanted to or not. This was just one more.

He lay a white sheet on the floor drew the medicine wheel in colored salt instead of sand. He didn't want anything evil coming in, not even by mistake. Going through all the preparations he had been taught, all the steps performed to perfection. There would be no mistakes. His boys were on the line and there was no room to make mistakes. Not with this.

The ritual was an abomination in some circles, forcing what should be done naturally, bringing together two entities that may or may not be suited to one another. It was risky, mostly to himself, should Bear take exception… and should the man who had taught him the original ritual ever figure out how John had altered and used it. He had intended to use it on himself, but having been possessed by evil once was enough to make that impossible. He rose slowly and stood looking at the circle, trying to find the will to back out of this now, and leave his son in peace for the rest of his days, but he couldn't, and yet he almost couldn't find the will to walk over to the bed, pick his son up and bring him back over to the circle.

But he did it. Whether he wanted to or not.

He lay Dean gently down on the sheet, brushing a dark blond tendril from his sleeping face. Then took his position out side the circle, sighing once in resignation before beginning the ritual. John didn't need anything to help him see what was happening around him. Exhaustion was close enough to a state of altered consciousness that he could see the mist rising in the room, although he doubted anyone else would have been able to see it. He could see the spirits gather as he continued. Ancient spirits, that some believed were here long before man. Spider, spinning her web from the creations of man, Wolf standing alone and silent, nodding its regal head to John in recognition of a kindred spirit.

Others came but could not cross the barrier to reach his child. Not that they would have harmed him. Not one so young, too young for such things. Not yet ready to prove his manhood, yet they came never the less, because they were summoned, and all spirits must answer when summoned properly. It was the way of things. Bear approached, slowly cautiously, watching John with a level gaze as he continued. Slowly, not quite reluctantly the great guardian, the healer approached the wheel. She sniffed at it, then looked at John once more, looked at the boy within, then back to John once more. She growled at him lowly, in tones that no one else would hear, and batted him aside with one massive paw, and stepped into the circle.

She sniffed at the boy, and uttered a low growling noise, as she nudged him with her nose, speaking in his dreams. "Hello boy." She said softly.

Dean looked around. Looked like the motel room, except no one else was there. "Where am I?" He said, sitting up in the bed and rubbing at sleepy eyes, looking at the bear, oddly not afraid of the creature in his room in the middle of the night nudging him to wake up. Not knowing, of course, that he wasn't awake. That was too much for a ten year old boy to really be expected to comprehend. He swung his legs off the bed and stepped to the floor on soundless feet and looked at Bear. "What are you doing here? Bears don't come inside."

"I've come to see you." She said as she sat down on the floor, tilting her head slightly as she studied the child. Looking at his spirit not his body. "I was told you are ready, that it is time for you to prepare to become a man. What do you think ?" She would not force herself on the boy. It was not bears way. She was brought here, so she would speak but the boy had to choose.

Dean thought about it, then felt his smooth cheeks. He had once asked his father when he would be a grown up and John had gruffly replied when he was old enough to shave. "Can't shave yet." He said to bear as he sat down, his back against the bed. Then he stood up quickly and looked around the room. "Where's my brother? Where's Sammy? What happened to him?" He was stirring himself into a panic over losing his brother.

"Shhh." Bear said in a soothing tone. "Your brother is fine. He is just sleeping. Your father watches over him. We had to speak alone, just the two of us. You would do anything for your brother wouldn't you?" She said, seeing the guardian already in the child. So young. So very very young. Yet still, sometimes…there was one who was beyond his tender years. And there was so much more to being a guardian than being a warrior, things that a child could easily do.

There was something in her tone that calmed him down, even if he couldn't fully understand it. But he sat back down, a bit more anxiously this time, but sat down. "Yes." He said. And he would. Even at ten he knew that 'anything' encompassed a lot, and he already knew it might be more than he could give, or more than he could do but he would try anyway. For Sammy. Because Sammy was his brother. And their father was never there really, so all they had was each other. And he was so little, someone had to watch out for him and watch over him. And he himself was the only one Dean trusted to do that.

"I can help you do that. Help you be able to watch over him better, help you keep him safe, warm… heal his hurts." She said sensing a suspicion in the child already. A lack of trust in others. So young for such feelings. "I can teach you. If you want me to." When boys came in search of their totems, it was understood that they wanted the animal that chose them. They knew what they were searching for even if they didn't yet know its Face. It was different with this child. The search wasn't even really his. He had proven nothing of his manhood. Had taken no endeavor upon himself to draw a totem to him. She feared that he would spend the rest of his life on the quest.

"Then teach me." Dean said firmly. If it was an option, already at his age, he would have bartered his life for Sam's. And he never asked for anything in return from his father or his brother. It was just in him to do so, even if it got him hurt, which it had on occasion already. That's what brothers did, right?

"It will not be an easy road, little cub." She said. "It will be dangerous and you will have to fight the death bear more than once to stay on your path. " She wouldn't sooth the boy with false ideals. He needed to face the truth of his choices. "It will feel very lonely at times."

"Vampires, demons, poltergeists, angry spirits, goblins AND a death bear? It can take a number." Dean said. John was right, he was already flippant at times. "It's already lonely." He glanced back at the bed where his brother should be. "But it keeps him okay. That's what matters."

"Alright little cub." She said. "Go on back to bed. We have much work ahead of us, and you should sleep now. "

John watched as the bear hovered over his helpless son, wishing that he had never begun this process, that he could be as other fathers and take the safer road, the saner road. But John Winchester wasn't as other men. He never would be again. And neither would his sons. He stepped closer to the circle only to receive a warning look from the bear and stepped back.

He watched as the other animals left. Spider crawling back into the television, Raven flying off toward the slowly rising sun. Coyote howled although it almost sounded like laughter to his ears. Only Wolf and Bear remained. Wolf stood at a distance, watching much as John did, and the bear hovered over his child, for long moments before laying down beside him, curling around him like she would a cub. John let out a long low sigh and Wolf howled mournfully before he too left. The mists faded and the room lost its unearthly feel. The bear faded from view but John knew some how that it was still there, protecting his son.

He stooped down and gently picked up Dean, and put him in bed next to his brother before going to clean up the evidence of the ritual.

Dean slept fitfully that night, and though his body felt rested when he woke up, his mind was a bit foggy. Of course, it could have been one of two things, fatigue from his totem visit, or his father had accidentally given him too much Benadryl. But since Dean didn't know (consciously at least) about either of them he couldn't exactly explain it.

"Dad? Can I have some coffee?" Dean asked. It always woke his father up after all. Worth a try if he was going to be playing outside with Sammy while John fixed the car.

"If you want some." He said. "You feeling alright?" He asked, a little worried about his son. "You were tossing in your sleep." He said as he poured half a cup and sweetened it for him. He doubted a 10 year old would like it black.

"Weird dreams." Dean said. He didn't remember them, just that they were weird. "Did I wake Sammy up? Did I keep you up?" Since his father commented that he knew about him tossing and turning.

"I was up anyway, Sam slept fine. He is in the bathroom. Was thinking we would get breakfast out. There's a Burger King over by the auto parts store. Then you two can play while I put the heater coil in."

"That's a good idea!" Dean said, that whole idea of play might be able to make Dean awake enough to shake off his weird sleep. And it would hopefully be an extension, even a little bit, of yesterday.

John couldn't help but chuckle a little at that one. "Glad you approve." He said and looked up as Sam came out of the bathroom rubbing his eyes

"What's a good (yawn) idea?" He asked as he moved to the games they had gotten the day before, looking at all the pieces in one of the boxes.

"We're going to Burger King!" Dean said. "And we can play there all day and eat fries all day until Dad finishes the car." Since they'd be expected to buy something every so often in order to stay.

Sam's eyes got wide at that. "Wow." He said and started to put away the game he had been getting into. An indoor play ground sounded like a lot more fun than a board game. They didn't get to do stuff like that very often.

John chuckled at that one. "Well, get dressed sleepy heads, daylight's wasting. " He told them. They thought of it as a treat but it was one of the few ways he could keep them close and work on the car. He was never sure when he ended a hunt if something was following him home or not. Sometimes you thought you wiped it all out and you were wrong. He had seen a hunter's entire family wiped out cause he missed one he didn't even know existed. So when he came home, he had always made sure to keep the boys close. Usually that meant in the back seat of the Impala while he got the hell out of Dodge. But in this weather that just wasn't practical. Especially since it would be getting colder before they got anywhere near a town he wanted to settle down in for the last half of the school year. People had started asking too many questions in the last town. It was time to move on.

Dean pulled out clothes for himself and his brother and got dressed, sitting on the bed to tie his sneakers. "I hope this one has the ball pit." Dean said as he tied his shoes, and watched Sam tie his. Sam could do it himself now, just sometimes he needed a little encouragement and support in doing so. He knew Sam could do it, he had taught Sam. That's what big brothers did, right?

"Not sure but I suppose we'll find out." John said as he waited for the boys to be ready. Soon he was pulling into the parking lot of the local Burger King. "Let's get you something to eat and then I am going to duck in next door to see how much that part is going to cost me." He told them.

Dean and Sam waited in line and pointed out what they wanted, then disappeared into the play area, where there was a ball pit. "Whoo hoo!" Dean said, jumping into it. "I tell you, this is the best Christmas ever!"


	6. Chapter 6

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_Hey guy's, just wanted to let you know there were serious revisions to chapter 5, and even though Chapter 6 starts out looking very familiar… its not _

_Thanks for reading guys. We love to see that people are enjoying our work_

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The years passed, 3 of them. Quickly for the adults, and even though the encounter with Maggie seemed far away, the time between then and now had flown. It hardly seemed right that Dean was just turning 13. Old enough to take on some of the less dangerous parts of the hunt, so even when they were on the road and stuck in the hotel, Dean had things to do now, something more than just watching over his little brother.

Sammy was 9 now. Precocious and sensitive, in some ways more independent than Dean, and in others a great deal more high maintenance. He chaffed under the restrictions John put him under, always throwing the fact that Dean had been taking care of both of them at 9, so Sam should be able to take care of him self on his own at the same age. John and Dean both disagreed. Which made for strained dinner conversation when they all managed to be together for it.

Jack was 6 now. The scars on his body were the only signs of his ordeal. He was a healthy and happy boy. Home schooled by his mother, his curriculum was unusual to say the least. He was learning math and working on his reading and writing, bits of history and science as could be explained to a small child, but he also learned how to identify demons, which were friend and which were foe. He learned what plants he could eat and what could kill, and he learned how to spot a hunter. What tell tale signs to look for and most importantly, he learned how to hide, and how to call out to his grandfather for protection.

Jo was far and away the most normal of the four children. Spoiled and pampered by both of her parents. She was strong willed and often a little rebellious but that was expected at 6. She was her father's darling and generally enchanted the other hunters that came to the road house.

That is except for John. He really had no use for a spoiled girl child who didn't know how to take care of herself in an emergency. As much as the others thought he was doing his children a disservice by raising them like he was, they were alive. They had been through things that most children didn't come back from, and they were alive because they knew what to do. They didn't live in a normal world. Pretending that they did to their children wasn't going to change that. It wasn't a harmless deception like Santa Claus and the tooth fairy. It was a dangerous world out there.

He looked to his oldest boy. "You sure you're alright alone here? I'm gonna be gone a little longer than normal." He said. They had settled in for a few months to let the boys go to school. Usually John restricted his hunting during the school year to things he and the boys could take care of over a weekend, or things very local. This was a little further away and looked to be a longer job. " Might be as much as a week. " They had a little house they were renting, it was more secure than a hotel, but it was still longer than he liked being away.

Dean rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the TV he was watching as he cleaned his knife collection. John was fanatical on cleaning and maintaining weapons, so much so that it was second nature to Dean.

"We'll be fine." Dean said. He'd learned enough lessons the hard way. "Brick dust laid down, home from school, homework, dinner, all that. It's not like I've never done this before, sir." He was a teenager after all. Even if his comments were tinged with respect.

John smiled a little. "I know son, you gotta humor me sometimes. I keep having this delusion that ya'll might need me around here." He said as he finished packing. He was going to swing by the roadhouse and pick up Bill Harvelle on his way out. He didn't want to do this one alone, it could get tricky. "Money is in the junk drawer. No one is to come over… no going out with your friends, keep Sammy off the phone all night. He gets to talking too much sometimes." And by that he meant that sometimes, he came awfully close to saying things he shouldn't. Sam was 9, it was normal. He hadn't been as isolated as Dean, he was more trusting, and Dean seemed to encourage it. Which meant there wasn't a damned thing John could do about it that wouldn't involve turning his home into a war zone.

"Got it." Dean said in a borderline bored voice. "We'll order pizza, run up the phone bill with sex lines and buy a couple of hookers." Then he looked up from the TV at his dad with his cocky grin, already becoming a trademark to those that knew him. "We'll be fine. Have fun, will ya?"

John chuckled a little at that. "I'll take you with me more this summer." He promised, figuring Dean was getting old enough that he could start coming along. He was a good enough shot. Just had to be careful what they hunted with him. Sam would need a babysitter still. Another couple of years. He just wasn't maturing as fast as Dean.

John grabbed his bags. "I'll call every night. Can't promise what time. If it's too late I will leave a message on the machine. " He said then hugged Sammy good bye. His younger son still seemed to need the physical closeness whereas John was convinced that his elder boy had out grown that. At least as an all the time thing. "Talk to you tonight. Be careful. Sammy come lock the door."

"Remember Thursday I'm covering for you at parent night." Dean said. It was easy, with two kids. 'Oh you just missed him, must have went to see Sammy's teacher' sort of thing. "So we won't be home till late." Because they had to put on the show after all. "Come on, Sammy, let's order Chinese tonight." he said as he waited for Sam to lock the door.

"Chinese sounds good." Sam said with a nod, trying to be as grown up as he remembered Dean being at this age. As much as he loved his father, Dean was his hero. It was Dean he wanted to be like.

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John got in the car and drove. He worried about his sons but forced himself to let it go. Dean could handle most things that came their way , and Sam wasn't a slouch either at the tender age of 9. Yes, he could put it out of his mind and focus on the job. A shape shifter. He wanted Bill with him on that particular job. He was a good man to have around. But also … he had been acting a little strange lately. Not something anyone could put their finger on, but he was a little off. John wanted to make sure there wasn't anything hinky going on with him.

He called the boys 4 hours later as he pulled into the parking lot of the road house.

"Dad, we're fine." Dean said when he picked up at the appropriate time. "We're watching porn, people are coming over for a party, and then we're going to exorcise Sam's teacher. It's all good."

John couldn't help but laugh at that. Dean was always able to bring out the lighter side of John, even if for only a few flashing moments. But it felt good for those few moments.

"I know." He said, smiling as he parked the car. "Just checking. I'm headed out tonight so I might not call until late." So late that if they didn't pick up, he promised himself not to worry. Dean slept like a teenager sometimes. Deep like he was in a coma. And Sam, well, he might not hear the phone because Dean kept it near his own bed.

"Got it." Dean said. "I'll leave a message for you when we get up the next morning."

It should bother him how easily Dean was able to play this non traditional role in the family, caretaker of them all. But he couldn't afford it right now.

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Bill frowned. "Ellen, it's just a job. A shape shifter. I'll be alright. Why are you so wigged out about this one?"

"I don't know. I want you to stay home. I don't know why, I just do. Why can't you ever listen to my gut instincts for just once?"

"Because your gut instincts come from a nervous wife, not anything more?" John offered as he came in. "You ready?" Ignoring Ellen's glare. And that woman could glare. But if he could face down someone like Maggie without a flinch or a shudder, Ellen really didn't stand a chance. He wondered why Maggie's name crossed his mind, it hadn't in nearly two years at all. But shrugged it off.

"John- " she started.

"I'll bring him home, Ellen. I've always brought him home, I'll do it again." He told her. He didn't give promises like that usually but Ellen seemed more than a little over the top that night. "Is there something I should know about?"

She shook her head. "No. " There wasn't really. It was just that she had been thinking about Maggie all day long and it worried her. Felt like an omen somehow.

"All right then." John said and grabbed a thermos of coffee, nodding his head to Bill. The less time he spent around Ellen the better. Next thing he'd know, she'd start showing off her kid like she was a star or something. "I'll be in the car."

Ellen frowned after John as he left. "Be careful." She said. "You've been acting strange lately, like something is hanging over your head. It worries me. I don't think you should be out there on a hunt with that going on. "

"I'll be fine." Bill said and leaned in to kiss his wife goodbye. Once he got into the Impala it was on the tip of his tongue to bitch about his wife but he bit it off. John wasn't the man to complain about your wife to. Even now he was short on patience for that kind of thing. He supposed he would be too if he had lost Ellen like that. Ellen was a hard and demanding woman but she had to be with the life they led. Sometimes Bill forgot how she had been before she started worrying about him all the time. "So fill me in." He said instead of the –god I wish she wouldn't be such a bitch- statement that he had almost come out with.

"Shape shifter." John said in clipped tones. Something was up with Bill, but he couldn't worry about this now. Do the job and get home before Dean really did throw a party. "Crime spree, shape shifter. Same MO, different fingerprints, people in two places at once. I figure it's going after a bank next. Goddamn, I'm going after bank robbers." He normally wouldn't, but it was escalating and it was only a matter of time before it hurt someone.

Bill nodded. He was more of an old school sort of guy. If it wasn't human it needed to die. Didn't need to be on his radar, if he knew it was out there it needed to die. Which was why when he managed to find information on Maggie that he discreetly sent a team out after her. Unfortunately Ellen was a smart woman and was starting to figure things out, so he had to cover his tracks. Because if she found out what he was doing, she would probably pack Jo up and leave him. John … well… John might try and put him in the hospital. He figured Bobby was the only one who would see things his way, but then, Bobby didn't have kids. "The problem with shape shifters is knowing who to hit. They're easy as hell to kill once you sort it out."

"Yeah that's the hard part that's going to tie us up." John said, having already warned the boys about that. "The goal is a week. Then we'll think of something else. Another way of going about it." Between the two of them they should. "Figure we'll spend the day going through activity at sewer grates and abandoned buildings. Has to be holed up somewhere." He looked at Bill, who didn't seem to be listening. "Bill? Something's going on."

"Arguing with Ellen a lot lately." He said. It was truth. It wasn't what was wrong but it was the truth. "I think she might be thinking about leaving me." Not yet but once she figured it all out, that was a different story, and she was very close to figuring things out.

"Sorry to hear that." John said. He could imagine life like this could be rough on a wife. If Mary were still alive, even if his eyes had been opened another way, he would never be in this life. He'd be a mechanic. Maybe they would have had another kid. But he'd never be doing this.

But that life was ripped away from him in a burst of flame and blood. He still saw it every time he closed his eyes, whether to sleep at night, or even a simple blink. That's why he did what he did. To try to get the images out of his head. Retribution might be the only way. And to get at the thing he needed...wanted...no, needed...to kill, he needed to learn. Experience. Hunt.

"Ever thought of retiring then?"

"We've talked about it. Just running the road house, and helping out with the research and introducing people end of things, but I don't know if I can quit, John. I don't think a hunter can. Not really. Once you know what's out there… I gotta make the world a little safer for them… Ellen, Jo. She doesn't understand that." She certainly wouldn't understand his obsession with getting rid of Maggie. He had managed to keep everything else from touching Ellen, but Maggie had crossed that line. Didn't matter that it was because they were old friends before they found out she was a monster. It didn't matter that she was a parent as well. The kid was probably just another little monster. Didn't matter that Ellen said it was John's boy. The kid was a monster too.

"Well, it was a thought." John said with a shrug as he pulled onto the freeway. Something about Bill was making his skin crawl; he chalked it up to his marital troubles. He didn't know if he pitied his friend, or was envious of his friend. Sometimes he wished he could have marital troubles. Would be easier to deal with Dean if his mother was still there. Not that Dean was a problem. Yet. Adolescence had just started.

"Yeah… it was a thought." Bill said. One that he hoped Ellen got out of her head. He fell silent as they drove. He knew that what he was doing was dangerous and not just to him, but to John. John had agreed to take the brunt of her wrath if the deal fell through. John and his boys. He also knew that this was the only way to make sure she never came back. It was in John's best interest really. If that brat was really his she wouldn't let him go. Not for long. That's what he told himself anyway.

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Maggie tucked her son into bed, home work done, everything prepared for the school day tomorrow. She tickled him a little, loving the way he laughed. That sound was the light in her world. The spark of humanity that kept her solid, kept her from cross over completely into shadows. The way his eyes would sparkle, the smile that made everything worth it. "Tomorrow," she said readjusting the covers, "after school, I was thinking we could go to the zoo. "

"Yay!!" Jack said in his excitement, and hugged his mom.

"Well if that was all it took to get a hug like that I would have done this much sooner."

The hunters crept through the shadows; the information Bill had gathered paying off. On silent feet, they carefully screwed the silencers on their weapons, and softly patted their pockets to make sure everything was in there. Maggie's trail had gone cold, and the three people that might have a clue to her habits were clammed shut.

Until Bill, that is. Who quietly tracked her until she settled down. Three years. Three years the community was waiting. And it was a patient community, believe it or not. This was the strike force, to end the threat of her. Once one of them, now turned into prey.

It was viewed as a betrayal, one they would take great joy in rectifying. The boy was optional. Preferably returned to John alive. But again, optional. Sometimes a clean hit was the best kind.

Maggie frowned then. She felt the shift in the shadows, and closed her eyes, reaching out. This was her domain. Her world. Something they didn't realize. They hunted like the creatures they despised, creeping through the shadows and the cover of night. Fools. They would have to strike in the brightest hour of the day to have even a ghost of a chance of sneaking up on her. Would have to avoid the shadows. "You know what… it's time to play a game."

"I thought it was time for bed." Jack said with a frown of his own.

"I know… but what I need you to do is play hide and seek with Mommy and grandpa. So go and hide in the closet, and call for grandpa. You two can hide and mommy will seek." She said scooping him up in her arms and walking toward the closet with him.

"The bad people are back again." Jack said.

"They won't hurt you again." She said as she settled him into the darkness, and handed him a bag that she kept packed at all times. "Call for Grandpa like I taught you." She said, "And stay quiet, baby… stay very very quiet."

She closed the door, and stepped into the nearest shadow, letting herself become insubstantial… almost incorporeal and began to hunt the hunters. She found one alone, creeping closer to her son's hiding place than she liked, and her arms snaked out, grabbing onto him, pulling him truly into the shadows. His startled gasp alerted the others, and one shot sanctified rock salt off in the direction.

"Shit, where'd he go?" They asked and kept seeking. Kept hunting.

Carl, the hunter who was grabbed, screamed into the shadows as he felt his body being pulled in all different directions, searching his body for weapons. Anything.

"Nothing is solid here… nothing but me." She said, and even then it was only because she could control the shadows, make them do her bidding, as though they were substantial, as though they were real. She let go of the man, letting him feel the cold, the weight of the darkness. "How did you find me?"

"Go to hell." Carl said in response, then screamed as he felt the shadows ripping through what he thought should be his body, swirling and mingling with his form, feeling like it was taking bits of him with it.

"How did you find me?" She asked again. She could sense the demon as it appeared, gathering around her son, protecting him.

"We tracked you." Carl said, gasping. "Not as smart as you thought...we're going to get you

and that spawn of yours too...before he grows up into you..." Yes, this time they knew about the kid. Which meant it had to have come from one of the original three.

"Which one sent you?" She asked, letting the darkness rip through him again. "If you tell me I will let you die where they can burn your body… if you don't… I'll leave you here in the shadows to become exactly what you hate so much." Although she might anyway, he had threatened her son, no one threatened her son. If he was lucky she would let him die rather than leave him there alive to go slowly mad until he died of starvation… dehydration.

Carl gasped a couple of times, his body arching in vain. " Winchester ." He said finally. He lied. Because Winchester could take care of himself. And his boys could take care of themselves. From what he understood anyway. He was Bill's friend, he'd never been in the 'chosen' few to ever meet his boys, like they were special or something. Like John was just passing through the community.

She had expected Harvelle to be the weak link. Not John. Never John. She could see him coming for her himself, but never sending a hit squad after their son. There was no way he couldn't know that Jack was his son. But he had… Time changed people, and she had never wanted to think that John would be one to change so dramatically that he could go against his word and order a hit on his own flesh and blood.

She shrieked in rage, and strangely sorrow, and the shadows ripped the man before her into hundreds of pieces and true to her word (she was a demon …not a hunter, her word mattered) they all fell to the ground in the real world… the substantial world. The remainder of the hunters were easily killed. She left none standing. It didn't take long to gather all that she and her son needed and transport them elsewhere. To another safe house, one far from here.

"" "" "" "" ""

Sam was ready for school and down stairs making cereal for both of them while Dean was getting ready. It was a good arrangement. Sammy got to make breakfast and Dean took care of dinner. That and Dean was spending a lot more time getting ready in the mornings than he used to, and Sam found it funny. Although he knew better than to tease him about it.

"I need to go to the library after school." He said as he put the milk away.

"Okay." Dean said as he ate his breakfast. "You know the deal, gotta come straight home from there though." And if Sam was at the library, meant he could convince Carrie to come over. Dean had discovered a surprising aspect of the human species. Girls. And he liked girls. A lot. And Sam would be at the library until dinner at least. Which meant Dean could do something else he really enjoyed. Which was kissing girls. And Sam didn't mean to be a tattle tale, but sometimes he let things slip.

"Okay. I'll call when I'm on my way." It was an old habit. One that was originally designed so that they would know if something had happened on the way home and as far as Sam knew that was still the case. Even though now it was an early warning system so that Dean could get his girl friend out of the house. "What did Dad have to say when he called last night?"

"Just the normal. Do your homework, wash behind your ears, don't let demons into the house." Dean said with a chuckle as he put his dish and silverware into the sink and rinsed them out quickly. "He's going to call tonight, but it might be late, so remind me to call him in the morning. Ready?"

"Yeah." Sam said as he did the same with his dishes, then hefted his book bag. He chattered on endlessly as they walked to his school. About the kids he didn't like, the ones that he did, his teachers, classes. Anything really. Sam wasn't the perpetual motion machine that his brother was, but he could do a good job of faking it to keep up. He settled down as they got there "see ya later" he said then hurried across the street and up the steps to the school.

Dean was the perpetual motion machine. Even when he was still and quiet, he nearly buzzed with energy. So any lapses in conversation he easily smoothed over until he watched his brother go up the stairs to his school and walked half a block to his own school. Same district, different levels. There he breezed through his classes, talked to people he knew and girls he wanted to know, and headed home to do a quick round about of the house before calling Carrie up.

"You have certainly grown." Maggie said standing behind him. He had too. He had changed so much, had grown, and she thought he looked even more like a blonde version of John than he had when he was younger. It made her ache to see him… made her angry all over again at his father.

Dean stopped and slowly turned around. He recognized the voice. Had had a few nightmares about it actually. But he turned hazel green eyes on her, with all the collective cool of a seasoned hunter or soldier.

"What do you want?" He asked flatly. Outwardly cool, inside wondering where Sam was. Where his father was? What the hell was she doing here? And where was the nearest weapon.

She sighed. "I suppose it's too much to hope for that you learned your lesson in futility and that you will simply give up and come along like a good boy." She said. She didn't really want to hurt him, but she would this time. This time wasn't an act of desperation, this time it was an act of retribution. "Your father broke his word, we're going to remind him how foolish that is."

"Thought you knew my father?" Dean shot back. "My father doesn't break his word, no matter what you heard." That was John's big thing for manhood. If you can keep your word, no matter what, you're a man. Otherwise you're just a word that whenever Dean said it, he got smacked upside the head for at this point. "Obviously you heard wrong. Go back to your hell hole."

"I thought I knew your father too. But the evidence is over whelming." She stated and stepped closer to Dean. "Now let's do things the easy way, shall we? I don't think Sam would deal well with you being hurt during this process."

Dean's eyes narrowed at the mention of Sam's name. "What do you plan to do? Use me to bleed him, maybe bleed him dry this time? Don't count on it." Dean said. She obviously had way wrong information. He knew his dad, and whatever else John was, someone who broke his word wasn't one of them.

It was a short fight. Longer than she would have anticipated for a 13 year old boy, but that was mostly because she was still reluctant to actually cause him harm. Never the less she did. Surface level pain, Bruises mostly. Things that would heal on their own in time. She pulled him into the shadows with her, and in mere seconds they were far away, rather like Alice through the looking glass.

Dean looked around, still spitting mad. Like a tomcat on bath day. "What the fuck?!" He yelled at her. "Lady, you're pissing off the wrong man." He wasn't talking about himself either. His father would be pissed, and no one should want John Winchester pissed. And what about Sammy? Now what was he going to do? Stuck here, his brother defenseless with his head stuck in some book...after John killed Maggie, he was going to turn around and kill Dean. He was sure of it.

"Watch your language." She told him sharply, then frowned. "I will deal with your father. " Maggie told him. "You will be staying in this room until I say otherwise. Don't try escaping, Dean. There is no where for you to go." She said as she left the bedroom, locking the door behind her.

Dean kicked the door a couple of times. "Fucking bitch." he said as he sat in a chair that was in the room. Well, now he was screwed, wasn't he? Didn't matter if he got with Carrie now, for the moment John found out about this, they'd be packing up and moving.

Maggie traveled through the shadows to the library. She watched as Sam hung up the pay phone with a frown. He knew something was wrong. How interesting. And in true Winchester fashion he checked his bag, she assumed for some hidden weapon or another and set out walking for home with a determined look on his very young face.

She waited and watched, staying ahead of him as much as possible, invisible to those not knowing what to look for in the denseness of the shadows. The boy simply stepped into the shade of the tree, and never came out the other side. When the police questioned the one witness later, an elderly woman, they figured she had simply not seen him run out the other side, or that she had imagined the child in the first place.

Maggie strode through the shadows, carrying the struggling and screaming child, eventually depositing him onto the floor in her living room.

Dean heard Sam through the door and started kicking at the door. "Sam! Sammy! I'm in here. Just stay calm." He said, furiously kicking at the door to try and get it to give. He threw the chair against the door, and all he got out of it was a splintered chair.

Sam ran toward the sound of his brother's voice, at top speed. He had been terrified by the sudden trip through the shadows. It had felt as though his body were being dissolved into nothingness, only to resolidify… sort of. He still didn't feel quite right, but wrote that off to the fear. "Dean" he yelled as he came to the door. "Dean I'm here. "

Dean sighed in relief and leaned his forehead against the door. "The bitch is so dead." Dean said, not caring if Maggie was on the other side with Sam. This wasn't anything he hadn't already said to her face. "Dad's going to kill her. Whatever she says about Dad, she's lying." He said. Just in case Maggie already started. "You know Dad, he wouldn't break his word. Ever."

"How is he gonna find us Dean?" Sam asked as he tugged at the door, trying to open it. He glared over his shoulder as Maggie approached "Let him out." He said with all the firmness a 10 year old could manage.

"Perhaps later." Maggie said as she rested her hand on Sam's shoulder, not allowing him to shrug away. "Dean isn't being cooperative right now. "

"Yeah, that's gonna happen." Sam said looking at her as though she had sprouted a second head. "Why should we cooperate? You're out to hurt my Dad again."

"Because if he doesn't cooperate he could find himself in that room for a very long time. There isn't going to be a rescue this time, Sam. I'm not telling your father where you are. This is going to be your home now."

Dean started kicking at the door. Him? Co operate? He took sex ed in school. He occasionally listened in science class. He was right smack face down in the midst of puberty. Authority figures had, well, no authority over him. He was all about himself right now. And his brother, always his brother. Who was out there alone with that woman, thing, whatever, that had abducted them. Again. And it turned out so well last time, didn't it?

Like hell he was going to sit down and be a good boy. "Get away from my brother." He growled through the door, his voice occasionally slipping down into the lower register it would permanently inhabit when he grew up.

"Come along, Samuel, dinner is waiting, and it would appear that Dean doesn't wish to join us tonight." Maggie said as she started to pull Sam away from the door.

"No" Sam said. "I'm not eating if Dean doesn't." He said literally dragging his feet.

"I didn't say he wasn't eating, I said he wasn't joining us."

"I don't believe you!" Sam was scared. But he wasn't a little boy anymore (to his way of thinking) so he couldn't show that fear, couldn't give in to it. He had to be strong now.

"That's it, Sam. Don't believe a word she says." Dean said through the door. "Neither of us are doing anything you want until I'm out of here." Eat, sleep, sit, whatever. They had to stick together until they were actually together. Because they were stronger as a two together than two separated by a door. He couldn't do shit behind this door, and he knew it. Besides trash the room which he had already done.

"Dean… if you want to come out here, or have Sam come in there, you are going to have to cooperate." She told him firmly. "I will not have you around my son behaving this way, Sam I think can behave himself around a small boy, you I am not so sure. "

Dean would grow up to seem outwardly nonchalant and flippant. Cool under pressure and very rarely ruffled. Right now, he was thirteen. Scared, mad, and full of hormones. "Eat shit and die, bitch!" He said though the door. Sam widened his eyes a bit at the language but pulled away from Maggie and sat by the door, crossing his legs under him and crossing his arms across his chest, showing solidarity. Because if anyone could get this situation under control, or warp it to their advantage, it would be his big brother.

Maggie raised an eyebrow at that and simply bent over and picked Sam up. "Put me down!" Sam yelled, putting up a fight as she took him from the corridor and toward the dining room. She sat him in a chair and stood there behind him, picking him up and putting him back in the chair every time he started to get out of it, until eventually the boy sat still with his arms folded and a scowl worthy of his father on his face.

She then sat down and looked over at Jack who was staring at Sam with wide eyes. No one ever argued with his mother. Well, he did sometimes but not like that.

"It's alright, Jack, this is your half brother Sam. He is going to be living with us from now on. He isn't happy about it so you will have to forgive his behavior." She said as she dished up food for both boys.

Jack smiled. His mom had promised him a brother when he had been sick. "Hi." He said.

There was a loud crash as Dean continued to trash the room. But this time it was with a purpose as he broke the bed in the room until a thin shard of metal came loose. Then he picked the lock and slammed the door behind him and sat down at the table.

"My father is going to kill you and it will be fun to watch. Might want to get the rug rat out of the way though." He said with a smirk as he grabbed a piece of bread. "Go ahead and eat, Sam. This is going to be fun."

"Your father might raise you to be aggressive and disrespectful of others but you will not behave so in front of my son." She said in a cold tone. "Watch how you speak."

Jacks eyes widened. "Is he my brother too? " At her nod he looked crestfallen. "Does that mean my daddy is one of the bad men?"

"No." She told him, even though it was a lie as far as she knew. "He isn't going to literally kill me, darling. Dean just means that John is going to be angry. Dean just doesn't remember that little brothers have very literal minds."

"No, I mean he's literally going to kill her." Dean corrected. "Because that's what happens when people abduct other people's kids. See, we don't want to be here. Your nice mommy over there is holding us hostage because she's a liar and very very bad woman." Dean said, not totally convinced this wasn't some sort of demon trick in the first place. Sure, stick a kid at the dinner table, tell him it's his long lost unknown little brother. That'll make Dean behave. "Might want to ask her where she got you from, kid, because she seems to like taking other people's kids."

With that, Jack's lower lip began to tremble and something between anger and hurt feelings welled up in his eyes and burst forth as tears. "You take that back. " He said loudly and firmly, even at 6 and raised away from their family, Jack had his father's temper. "You don't talk about my mommy like that. Not ever. She loves me. She keeps me safe when the bad men come. You take it back." He said throwing his roll at Dean.

"Jack… settle down." She said, wishing she had taken Jack somewhere else for this. "Dean is just angry. He doesn't mean it." She cast Dean a warning look in that moment, that was enough to make Sam gulp. Sam who was very quiet, watching it all play out, looking at the new little brother, and finding that he kinda believed her.

Dean just smirked at Maggie. "Yeah, she's such a good woman. Ask her why I'm here, why Sam's here. Oh wait, it's because she kidnapped us. Not the first time either, by the way. If that's the definition of being a good person, I'd rather be a bad man, kiddo." He said as he started to eat, as if he were in the cafeteria at school. He ate the roll Jack threw at him. "Thanks." He said. "So yeah, I'm angry. Because I should be in MY OWN home. NOT here. But because your mother is a bad, bad person, I'm not. Think on that when she's tucking you in at night."

He was fighting with a kindergartener. Wonderful. God, he'd rather be doing...homework. Or anything else than being right here.

"You say he's our brother? Dad never said anything like that. Guess that means you're lying to someone. Another trait of a good person, right?"

Jack ran from the room in tears, and Sam looked at his brother as if he had sprouted horns.

"God, Dean, the kid didn't do anything wrong, jeez, you can be such a jerk sometimes." He said and got up from his chair and chased after Jack. "Hey wait up." He called, eventually having to follow the kid into his room.

"Leave me alone." Jack said as he closed his arms around a stuffed tiger that was almost as big as he was.

"Does the tiger chase away the things under the bed?" Sam asked as he knelt beside the little boy's bed. He had learned from the world's best big brother after all. He should be able to talk to a little kid. "I had a dinosaur when I was little...er." He added the 'er' reluctantly. "It protected me when Dean wasn't there. Don't pay any attention to my brother. He's just worried about me getting hurt is all. He doesn't mean to hurt your feelings. "

"Yes he did. He did it to hurt my mom." He said. Jack knew a thing or two about bad men. "He's one of them… or he's gonna be. "

"One of what?" Sam asked frowning.

"The bad men… mommy calls them hunters. They show up in the middle of the night and try and kill us. So we're always moving and they always keep coming."

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

Dean j just kept smirking at Maggie as he ate. "So what's the big plan? We're all going to be one big happy family? All because you had a fling that went bad with Dad and got yourself all with an ankle biter and everything? Because whatever you think of my father, you're wrong." His faith in his father was unshakable. And nothing could change that. Or change the faith that he had that his father would get them out of this. "So, yeah, that does make you an evil hell bitch."

"Your father swore to me, if I let his friends live, after they hurt Jack, that he wouldn't send anyone after us." Maggie said as she began to eat. "And yet last night, there they were. Hunters. Devotees of the road house, and upon interrogation, they admitted that they were there to kill me, and my son… which strangely there are only three other people that know about my son. Bill, Bobby Singer, and your father." She took a drink of her tea. "Further interrogation revealed which one had given them the information." She looked Dean in the eyes. "I used to believe in your father's word, as much as you do. I trusted him to keep his word, yet still they came." She shook her head. "You don't have to like it here. You can fight me for the rest of your little life. But the next time you intentionally hurt my son, you'll find out why there are demons that fear me. "

"Guess he just needs to get a thicker skin. He's going to need it, with Dad and a demon as his parents." Dean said with a shrug, quietly and silently accepting Jack's parentage. Didn't stop his quarrel with Maggie though. "After all, I'm being punished for what you think my father did. No reason he shouldn't get the same treatment, after what his mother did. Can't have it both ways, Maggie." He said, showing a sudden maturity at that. It had been there, just buried underneath layers of teenage angst and hormones.

"So are you saying you're no better than a demon?" She asked, and laughed a little. "Then again why should you be? You've had to raise yourself and your brother all this time with the occasional pat on the head from John when he remembers to take the time. Always slowing him down, always coming between him and what he loves the most…no wonder you just don't care how you make an innocent child feel. All you see when you look at my son is demon, doesn't matter that he isn't. You're already a hunter. All that hatred and anger packed into that little body as only John can do. Too bad he didn't pack a little compassion there along the way."

"You can't put the bad light on me." Dean said with a shake of his head. "You're the one that caused the situation, you're the one the who put is all here and stupidly expected us to behave. I'm not the bad guy here, and you know it. Wrap yourself up in that while you're soothing his ruffled feathers. Sam was his age when you decided to kidnap and terrorize us the first time. You didn't seem to care so much about innocent children then. You certainly hadn't found your high and mighty horse then, did you? You didn't think about what it would do to us. All you cared about was yourself, revenge on Dad, and that kid. So don't go trying to make me the bad guy for exhibiting a little selfishness for myself and Sam. Not to mention anger and the fact that I DO

hate you. Because it won't work. Say what you want, but I'm not in the wrong in this situation."

"I did what I did before because I had to. I'm not apologizing or making excuses. I did it to save my son. Your father wouldn't have done anything less for Sam would he?" She asked. "But right and wrong don't matter a hill of beans here, Dean. This is all about action and reaction. You lash out at my son, and I will have to remove you from the equation. Take you back that little house and leave you there to explain to John that no, you have no idea where Sam is because you couldn't control your tongue enough to stay and protect him. That your little brother is all alone with me and its all your fault. I don't think who started what will matter to your father much in that situation either will it."

"So you're threatening my brother. Nice." Dean said and finished, standing up from the table. "I'm going to take great joy in seeing my father tear you apart. I just want you to know that. You better have popcorn at the ready in this place, because I'm going to need it. Tell you what, when the time comes, I'll make sure Sammy and Jack aren't in viewing distance." Because at the core, he was a big brother. And he headed off in search of his brother. Apparently, brothers.

Jack was relaxing with Sam, who was just sitting on the floor with him and talking, calming him down, assuring him that he didn't think his mommy was a monster. Didn't matter that it was a lie. No one wanted to hear anyone say anything bad about their mom. His one and only fight at school had been because someone said something about his mom once, because they had been living in a cheap motel for a while. He had no clue what the words 'hourly rate' meant but it had sounded bad at the time so he had pounded the other kid.

Jack was relaxing that is until Dean's face appeared in the doorway, then he jumped back on the bed and pulled the tiger in front of him once more.

"Easy, kid." Dean said with his hands up. "I'm fighting with your mom, not you." He assured Jack. "You really have nothing to do with this, I'm not mad at you." He said and sat down on the floor across the room. He was an average sized thirteen year old, but that was still tall to a six year old. "I promise to not say anything bad about your mom to you." He'd deliver it straight to the source instead.

Jack looked at him like he wasn't sure he should believe him. He felt like one of the bad men. Not that he could explain it. It was just how Jack perceived them .

"It's okay. Dean doesn't lie about stuff like that. He wont say it. Not even in front of you." Sam said giving Dean a look. "No one likes to hear bad things about their mom, we know that. He just got mad."

Jack liked Sam, and hoped that Sam could really be his brother, but he still wasn't sure about Dean yet, but he nodded a little and relaxed his grip on the tiger, petting it instead.

"Jack moves around a lot too." Sam said to Dean. He wasn't sure if he believed that Jack was his brother or not. He was still young enough that parents and sex was an abstract, made even more so by the fact that they only had one. It weirded him out to think that his father and 'the lady' had made a child. Maybe it was a spell or something like that. That could make sense. It wasn't his father's fault. "These 'bad men' are always trying to kill him. So he has the tiger, like my old Dinosaur."

"I remember your dinosaur." Dean said, relaxing his posture and leaning his back against the wall. "So looks like we're stuck here." He said. Until John found them. Which would be...interesting. To say the least. "What's there to do for fun around here?"

Jack looked at his oldest brother a little warily. "We just got here last night. But I have games and stuff, if you wanna play." He didn't figure Dean for the type. Older kids rarely wanted to play. "We can probably go outside tomorrow after studies, but if it's dark I'm not allowed to go outside."

"Sure, I'll play." Sam said remembering being the little kid very clearly. It sucked when Dean hadn't wanted to play. Didn't happen too often really but when it had, it had sucked. "Who do you usually play the games with?"

"Mom plays with me sometimes, and sometimes there are other kids that come over after she gets to know the … the… community." He had to think of the word his mom used. Not that it was more than an abstract to him. "People like us… you know… always moving around."

If Maggie thought Dean was going to be home schooled by his abductor, she had another thing coming. And if she thought she was going to home school Sam was well, he'd have to listen in on the lessons just to make sure there wasn't any sort of propaganda being injected in there.

But he nodded any way. "I know what that's like." Dean said. The moving around. The having to scope out the new neighborhood. "So let's play." Wasn't like his mood could get any worse.

Jack smiled then and climbed up to get the games from the shelves in his room and set them down on the floor. "You can pick which one. I like them all". He said sitting down on the floor, with the tiger at his back to lean against. "You guys move around a lot too?" He asked.

"Yeah we do." Sam said. He hated it. But he supposed it beat staying in one place and being a target all the time for the demons and monsters.

"We move every couple of months. Sometimes every couple of weeks." Dean said as he picked Sorry! and brought it over. "It's not so bad." Dean said, he was used to it. Sometimes he looked forward to a new place.

"Me too. That's why mom is my teacher too." He said and picked green. Sam took blue. "Sometimes the other kids I get to play with are really different but it's okay. They are usually really nice." He picked up one of the dice to see who went first. "4." He said, and Sam rolled a 2.

Dean picked red and rolled a 5, so he rolled again and moved his piece accordingly, passing the dice to Jack. "We go to school." He said. "Different school every year. Sometimes two a year. And once we were taught by Pastor Jim. That wasn't so bad. A little heavy on religion, but we dealt."

Jack rolled the dice, and moved. "Mom doesn't teach me religion stuff. But she says I am good at math and I read really well. We were gonna go to the zoo today and look at the tigers but the bad men came last night so we don't get to go for a while. She teaches me cool stuff too like how to recognize demons and monsters and how to keep safe from the ones that would want to eat me… and I know how to play hide and seek really really well but sometimes it isn't fair cause Grandpa helps." 

Sam listened and rolled the dice. "We don't really have a grandpa anymore. I think they all died." He said

"My grandpa is kinda different. He looks different most times I see him, and sometimes he is just all shadowy like when we are playing hide and seek while mommy takes care of the bad men."

Dean scowled at the 'bad men' comment, knowing who he was referring to now. "Our dad teaches us a lot of the same things. How to recognize demons and spirits, how to protect ourselves from them. I think it's kinda fun. Caleb makes it into a game for Sam."

"Actually its a lot of fun" Sam said still being young enough to find those kinds of games purely fun instead of instructional. "If you want I can teach you" He offered. He kinda liked not being the youngest in the room. Granted it seemed odd not being the baby any more, and he had to wonder what it would change to have Jack in their lives, but he thought he liked the idea. Never once did it occur to him that his father would leave the boy behind. If this was their brother, their father would raise him. That's just how it would be. He felt sad that Jack would lose his mom too, but… his mom was a demon. It would hurt but it wasn't good to be raised by a demon. Sam was just more sensitive to the kids feelings than Dean had been. Moms were never bad in the eyes of children and someone coming to kill you would be the bad men. It was okay. Skewed … but okay.

"" "" "" "" ""

Maggie placed a call to an old friend. The phones only reached the outside world on the most limited of levels. Scratchy connections, almost more like EVP than anything else, but Ben she could reach normally. He existed out of sync with the rest of the world as well. She needed a baby sitter, there was no way she was leaving her son alone with those two while she was gone.

Ben sighed. "You're joking. You want me to watch three kids. You mean baby-sit." Ben said. "two kids you kidnapped by the way." but then again, if Dean Winchester was left in charge, who knew what could happen? Teenage boys were unpredictable. Even more so when they were scared and angry. Add in the training his father surely installed in him... "Fine. A few hours. Then I'm leaving and Dean can burn the place down for all I care."

"If I'm not back in a few hours, let the boys go and take Jack with you." She said because if it took her that long chances were they had found a way to kill her. "I appreciate it. There will be alcohol waiting for you. You might need it. Oh… I told Dean if he was mean to Jack he had to leave but Sam would be staying. Remind him of that if he gets out of hand with my son."

"As long as there's alcohol." Ben said and hung up the phone, sliding into the room. "Go ahead, go. Sooner you leave, the sooner you get back. Remember to wash the blood off, hunters are naturally able to smell human blood on demons, sets them off like a rabid hyena."

"I rarely get messy these days. " She said and went to knock on her son's door before opening it. "Ben is here to watch you." She said to her son who grinned from ear to ear at the thought. "I want all of you to behave while I am gone. Sam, you can share Jack's room for now, bed time is at 8. No fussing. Dean you can go clean up the mess you made in your room at that time since that is where you will be sleeping. Don't give Ben any trouble." She told them.

"My brother goes to bed at 9." Dean said. Because he saw no reason to turn Sam's routine up on its head just because Maggie said so. "And we'll sleep in the living room, thanks."

"Nope." Ben said. "That's where I'll be drinking. No kids allowed."

"We will discuss his future bedtime tomorrow." Maggie said to placate the boy. "But tonight it is at 8, and that room will be clean by 10pm. People that stay in my home, abide by my rules." She said pointedly, knowing that Dean was smart enough to figure out what she was talking about. "Good luck." She told Ben as she stepped into the shadows and disappeared.

Dean scowled. "So how are you involved in this kidnapping and terrorizing mess?" Dean asked Ben.

"Oh I'm just your regular run of the mill 500 year old demon. Who can be bribed with alcohol." Ben said as he sat down next to Jack. The look on Dean's face made Ben laugh.

" " " " " " " " " "" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "" "" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

John and Bill were in the midst of a full on brawl with the shape shifter. John was channeling all his worry at the boys not picking up the phone into this fight and it was working so far, even if he had too many scrapes and cuts for comfort. Always a danger with some brands of shape shifters.

Maggie stepped from the shadows frowning at the scene playing out before her. Dark eyes narrowed, glinting with an unnatural blue as she stepped toward John's weapons bag and picked up the shot gun, and checked the rounds before cocking it and firing at the shape shifter twice, emptying it of the rock salt and forcing the creature away from the men. "Mine." She said possessively in a tone closer to a growl than anything else. Warning the shifter to back off. No one was going to kill these two.. except her.

Bill felt the blood just drain out of him. Shit, they failed. And she knew. Oh god she knew. He wondered if she'd taken retribution against Ellen and Jo yet...

John didn't even turn around. "We'll deal with you in a moment, Maggie." He said. But this thing had to be stopped before it hurt someone innocent. Then he'd deal with Maggie. And ask the question on why she was even here. Because he'd upheld his end of the deal. Whenever he thought he might be near where she was, he moved across the country, just to be on the safe side. And avoid the temptation to take his son. But he couldn't sacrifice the two he had for the one he never did.

Maggie frowned then looking between the men. "It wasn't John, was it?" She said focusing her attention on Bill then. "It was you." She could smell the fear off of him, where as John didn't have a single air of guilt about him. No matter how much John had changed, knowing they had failed and his sons were at stake would have more of a reaction than 'we'll deal with you later'. She picked Bill Harvelle up with her mind and tossed him at the shape shifter, not caring if the creature tore him apart or not.

"No!" John said. "What the fuck!" He said to Maggie and watched as the shape shifter tore Bill apart limb from limb. Horrified, he made quick work of the shape shifter and finished what he had to. Easier, in a way, because the shape shifter was distracted with destroying Bill. "Again, what the fuck?!" He said to Maggie, leveling the shotgun at her.


	7. Chapter 7

"He broke your word for you." She said not at all worried about the shot gun. "So you have choices." She told him calmly. "You can put that thing down, and come with me to our respective children and you bleed to death there, you can stay here and bleed to death, or you can go to the hospital and we continue this conversation later." She tilted her head a little as she looked at him. "Or you can let me heal you, then gather your things and go to our children."

He went through the options. And he was still going through the options when he spoke. "You took Sam and Dean. Again." He said and growled beneath his breath about that. "I have some things I have to take care of here." He had to burn and salt Bill. He had to call Ellen. Oh shit he had to call Ellen. He figured for the moment Dean and Sam were safe. As for his own injuries, all bleeding stopped. Eventually.

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "Hunters came to my door, and Jack was on the target list. Only three people in the community know of his existence. Well… two now." She said looking over at Bill's remains. "Leave him. It would serve him right." She said, then it hit her what he was saying. "You are wanting to take care of business… knowing I have your children?? "

"You won't hurt them." John said. "After all, I didn't break the deal, and you've got your vengeance on the one that did. But I do have to make sure I'm not hunting Bill in a year or so, and I do have to tell his wife that she's a widow. Unless I don't have to because they're gone already?"

"Ellen was my friend. I wouldn't do that to her." It was a strange distinction. Ellen had never turned away from her. Maggie had never made contact again, because she wasn't stupid, but there still hadn't been any betrayal for her to feel any anger about. "She and Jo are fine, and you are right, your boys are fine. One of these days that attitude, though, is going to come back and bite you in the ass where the boys are concerned." She frowned. "Be quick about it. You need medical attention. What kind of shifter is that?" She asked.

"Ygramul." John said gruffly as he started to prepare what was left of Bill. Then he'd have to get to a phone and call Ellen. "I'd ask you how they were, but you'd say fine, even if you had Dean chained to a wall and Sam doing who knows what." He had to get Sam away from Maggie. Whatever darkness had managed to taint Maggie could not be allowed near his son. Ever.

"I left them playing Sorry with Jack, and instructions for Dean to clean up the mess he made." She frowned a moment "Did it bite you?" She asked, suddenly very much worried in spite of her worst intentions where John was concerned.

John couldn't help but laugh. That was Dean. He'd be a handful for anyone else as he got older, John could see it now. But he ignored Maggie's question as he started to burn Bill's body, coughing at the smoke in the enclosed space, but it had to be done. "Don't treat me like I'm an amateur." He snapped instead. He'd deal with his injuries after he had Sam and Dean out of there. "For someone who's supposed to be so good, I've known exactly where you are for the past four years."

"Yeah well, I can't exactly live in the shadows all the time with a child. He deserves better than darkness. You found me, but it took work for everyone else. Now did the damned thing bite you?" She asked. It wasn't a question for an amateur. It was a logical question. The damned things were contagious. "I'm not going to kill you if you say yes, you know. I've known where you were since the moment you tossed me to the wolves. If I wanted you dead you would be."

John chuckled, but it wasn't a humorous chuckle as he salted what was left of Bill. "You have all three of my children. You might as well kill me." He said honestly.

"And here I was going to take you to them. Figured you might want to meet Jack. I thought you had betrayed me." She said. "The hunters gave me your name as where they got their information. Yes I took the children. But they are fine, and you can go to them. Now tell me if the damned thing bit you or not."

"I don't want to meet Jack." John said. "I don't want the face to put to the name. Not if I'm going to uphold my end of the agreement." That third son was so much better as an abstract. One he knew existed but didn't know. Because if he did, he didn't trust himself not to do something stupid. "No, it didn't." He had thirty days to find the antidote. That should be enough, if he could get Dean and Sam from Maggie. Bring them to Caleb maybe.

"Too bad. He is with the other boys. Unless you just want to forget about them and go on with your vendetta without the added baggage." She wasn't going to let John get away with keeping his comfort zone intact. He didn't really deserve it. No he hadn't betrayed his word… but he had started the whole thing. If he hadn't done that … she wouldn't be playing in the shadows now because no hunter would have come for her. No… he didn't get to be comfortable. "Call Ellen, we're leaving once the flames die down."

John shook his head at Maggie and walked over to a phone. Where he passed the news as gently as he could. Which, for other people, wasn't very gently at all. He winced as Ellen sobbed and swore, finally calling John a goddamn son of a bitch and slamming the phone down in his ear.

"Fine. I'll go meet Jack. And you can explain to him after that he'll never see me again. Should go over well." John said, collecting his bag.

"Would you rather I left him to someone else if the hunters manage to figure out how to kill me one day? Neat trick since I don't even know how it's done." She said as she looked him over once more. "John… are you sure it hasn't bitten you?" She didn't like the idea of taking someone who was going to turn back to her son… or his for that matter.

"Everything can be killed, or bound. Or trapped." John said. "Can we go? Sam and Dean could teach him all sorts of nice tricks you probably don't want him knowing." Lock picking. Weaponry. Home made weaponry. They had a very well rounded education.

"That's why I have a babysitter." She said as she took his arm and stepped into the shadows. It only took a minute at the most to get back to her new home. She knew this was rough the first time around, and she stood at his side, holding him up until he adjusted to the twilight. It wasn't so much that it was dark, it was as light as any day in the real world. It was simply that they were… between. The world he considered the real world to one side and the shadow lands to the other. Surrounding them.

John stood perfectly still for a few moments, eyes closed as he adjusted then exhaled.

Dean, knowing something was up, stuck his head out. And grinned for a split second. "Dad!" Then he stood in front of Maggie. "So now what? Going to kill him in front of us for not eating our vegetables?"

"They're alive." Ben called out from the living room. It was all he guaranteed after all.

"No but I will be more than happy to deposit you back home if that room isn't clean." She said pointedly. She wasn't intimidated by 13 year old attitude. She had not only dealt with John on a regular basis but had fallen in love with him along the way. Attitude wasn't something that bothered her. She had her own.

Dean glared at her, but John put his hand on his oldest's shoulder. "Go get the room fixed." He said, only imagining what Dean did to it. Kid had a temper, whenever he decided to let it out. "I'm bunking with you tonight, chief, and I'm not sleeping on wreckage."

That did it. "Yes sir." Dean said and turned to head into the room to clean it up.

"The other boys are supposed to be sleeping now." She said "Let's get you cleaned up before you go in to see them." Maggie said. "Thanks Ben." She said. "I really appreciate it. I'll send another bottle of scotch your way in a couple of days. I have a feeling you've earned it."

Sam wasn't sleeping but Jack was so he quietly slipped out of the room so as not to wake him, when he heard his father's voice. "Dad?" He asked as he peeked around the corner. "Dad!" He exclaimed and ran to his father. He was relieved to see him. He was convinced Dean was going to get himself creamed by Maggie if they didn't go home soon.

"You have no idea." Ben said with a shake of his head before he disappeared. The less time he spent around a hunter the better. Safer for the hunter at least.

"Hey, Sammy." John said, picking Sam up when he ran to him. He looked at Maggie. "Sam goes to bed at nine." He had his own routines they stuck to.

Maggie nodded. She didn't have a problem with that coming from John. Dean had presented too much attitude for her to let him push the issue earlier. "Well, we still need to take a look at those scratches." She said down playing the injuries for Sam's sake. He was still a child and she didn't think he needed to worry about how badly his father was hurt.

Sam looked at John, concerned, but John gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I'm alright." He said. "Go get ready for bed, and remind Dean to get the damn room ready for sleep." He said putting Sam down. "Usually Dean patches me up, he's pretty good." He was walking under his own power after all. Wasn't swaying or stumbling. He'd be all right.

"Dean is busy," Maggie said, watching Sam run off to Dean's room. "And I am not, so, come into the kitchen and sit down. You know the drill." She told him, as she grabbed a bag from the hall closet. She might be damnably hard to kill but her son was not. She kept an extensive first aid kit still.

John gave an aggravated sigh and followed her into the kitchen, sinking down into a chair and started to remove layers. He looked 'big' because he wore layers, more layers meant more protection. Off came the coat. The sweat shirt. The flannel, until he was stripped to his t-shirt. He was as fit as he'd ever been, and he hardly led a sedentary lifestyle. "Happy now?" He had some nice scratches and gouges, but what he was really hiding was under his shirt on his back, and he wasn't budging on that one.

"Been happier." She stated as she looked over the wounds, cleaning them out before healing them. It was an old routine. But not as comfortable as it might have been. She had too many conflicting emotions surrounding this man. Most of them warmer than she would have liked. She was supposed to be a scary cold hearted demon. She didn't have time to worry about a man who was supposed to be her enemy. "The tee shirt too." She said matter of factly as the other wounds were taken care of.

"Good night Maggie." John said, getting up and heading back to the room Dean had disappeared into. He'd let her think it was because he was uncomfortable with being undressed around her, considering their past, if she wanted to think that. But the t-shirt stayed.

"John… don't piss me off. You're bleeding. I can see it from here. Don't make me come after you. I haven't changed that much." She said. It wouldn't be the first time they had had a similar argument, about whether or not something needed treating. Or if he was going to allow it to be done at all. His male ego was a force to be reckoned with, but she had faced that reckoning before.

"Maggie, you kidnapped my sons. Basically kept the youngest away from me totally. Killed my friend, so I got to be screamed at by his widow because it is my fault. I don't even know where I am. I'm sore, I'm tired, and I'm already far beyond pissed off. If you think you're calling all the shots, you're wrong. Don't come after me." He said and kept walking.

"Cause it was so obvious that you wouldn't kill me on sight and take the baby. You don't get to blame me for Jack … God, John why is it you can still do this to me? I want nothing more than to hate you." She said. "But I don't, and you are bleeding damn it. " She frowned "It bit you." She said in a suddenly hollow tone. The pattern in the back of his shirt was easy to identify if she looked at it long enough. "Damn you."

"I got thirty days to fix it or make arrangements." John said with a deceivingly casual shrug. The arrangements being suicide on the twenty ninth day, after making sure his sons were taken care of. He briefly thought of Missouri , back in Lawrence , but dismissed it. "Don't look at me like that."

"Is there even a way to fix it?" She asked him. She couldn't let him leave in his condition. Shape shifters were on her list of must kill demons even after her unfortunate conversion. They were evil bastards that got off on inflicting pain. John had enough personality problems with out that joining in. And the closer it got to the day of the first change, the less trouble he would have with the transformation. It was insidious. She didn't want to kill him. Damn it.

"I've got some leads on it." John said. "So I want to take Sam and Dean...and go." He said firmly. "Because my leads aren't here." They were on a reservation that he'd need to get to quickly while he still could. "So let me get dressed, since you insist on pushing the subject. We'll be out of your hair and you won't have to worry in just a bit." He said as he started pulling the layers on again.

"No." She said. " Go to bed. I will take you where you need to go in the morning." Her tone was subdued. She had a few things she could look into herself. "Jack needs to meet his father at least once." It was as good an excuse as any. She wasn't letting him leave with the children. It wasn't going to happen. Too many variables. She might not be the best choice for them, but it was better than what their father would become. If his lead panned out that was a different story.

"We'll discuss that in the morning as well." John said. He believed it best if the two never met. It was bad enough Sam and Dean had, that would take some talking he could see. But a kid that young? Father there, then gone? And she said he tortured his kids. But he went back to the room, which Dean had turned into immaculate condition. Except for some marks on the door, couldn't tell the room had ever been trashed.

Dean waited until his father was asleep and snuck out to where Maggie was still in the kitchen. And sat across from her.

"What's wrong with my dad?" He said, in a tone he had inherited from John. The 'don't bullshit me because I will know' tone.

Maggie looked at Dean and studied him for a moment before getting them both a cup of coffee. "He was after a shape shifter. When I got there they were in close combat." That was a no go from the beginning. He should have never allowed it to get that close. "He was bitten." She said in a gentle tone, but she didn't sugar coat it. The boy deserved better than that. Annoying or not, he deserved better.

"Okay." Dean said, dumping sugar into the coffee. He remembered the first time he had had coffee, quite vividly right now. "Can we fix it?" Just something about her demeanor said that they couldn't, and that was unacceptable to Dean. He was NOT losing his father. He'd lost his mother, he was not losing his father. He couldn't take care of Sam all by himself, no matter how much he told Sam he could.

"I don't know." She said honestly. "He says he has a lead on something. I will take him to see what can be done tomorrow. " She promised. "If not that … then we'll keep looking. We have 30 days to sort it out. After that … he won't be your father any more, no matter how it may appear. " She wasn't going to tell him that if he didn't have a solution by the 30th day John would be dead. Neither John nor Maggie would let him out on the world as a monster. Not a genuine monster. "Can I ask you something?"

"Can't stop you from asking. But I don't promise to answer." Dean said as he stared into his coffee. Thirty days. A month. Used to seem so long, now he was pretty sure it was going to fly by.

She smiled a little sadly at that response. So much like his father. "If you were in Jack's position… would it be better to never know John or to at least… meet him once. You are a good deal closer to being a little boy than I have ever been'" She added the last with a faint smile that she wasn't sure she felt. She had her own baggage about unknown fathers, and John… well she suspected it was his own fear of knowing the child that spoke rather than anything else. But Maggie was interested in what was needed by her son, not by John…

Dean gave the question thought as he drank his coffee, until he had drank nearly half the cup. Then he spoke with level eyes. "Depends on what you want for Jack. He puts a face to the name, guaranteed as soon as he's old enough, he's going looking. And if he does, he's going to end up right in the middle of the hunter community. He already hates hunters. We're 'bad men.' My father, one look at him and you know he's a hunter of something. So once you know the answer to that question, you can answer your own."

She sighed. "I want him to have answers. I want him to know where he comes from, even if it's less than pleasant for him it's better than finding out much later in life. And with your fathers condition being...questionable… " she nodded. She thought Sam should have those answers as well but so long as his father was alive those answers weren't hers to give. "You consider yourself a hunter… why do you hunt?" She asked him.

"Because obviously in a few years it's a guarantee to get me laid. Chicks obviously dig the hunter thing." He said, then he sighed, examining his coffee again. "Something killed my mother. A demon. I'm sure Dad told you at one point." John just didn't know exactly how much his oldest had seen. "If I can make sure there's one less thing to kill someone else's mother, I'm all in."

She nodded. "Yes, he told me. I wish you luck in that. I can always hope that you have more compassion than some of the others I have met, although I suspect that is why your father doesn't introduce you to many of the hunters in the community." People like Pastor Jim, and Bobby Singer were safe enough. Probably Caleb as well. Others lost their humanity along the way. "Jack… isn't a demon you know… not even a little bit."

"Good. Then I don't have to worry about hunting him later." Dean said, knowing he'd probably never see Jack again. And he was...all right...with that. Jack had his mother after all. And technically his father. And that babysitter with a mouth worse than any hunter he'd ever heard. Jack was safe enough.

"Could you honestly hunt your own brother?" She asked, not meaning Jack in that moment even though Dean didn't know the truth about Sam. Poor child was going to be forced to relive her own drama as things were playing out. Something else to speak with John about. If the worst came to be, he couldn't leave that boy with another hunter. Not ever. Not without John there for them to fear.

"If he was out there hurting people, I'd have to." Dean said with crystal clear logic. He was a guardian. Even if Maggie didn't know that. "Sammy, never. I'm bound to him, he couldn't turn into something that would have to be hunted," he knew sometimes normal people could go so bad that they'd have to be hunted, "not with me there. That's why I'm there."

"What do you mean you're bound to him?" That wasn't the normal words used by teenaged boys. Bound had implications that she didn't like. And she certainly didn't like the implication that it was the only reason he was there. What sort of mentality was that to instill in a child?

Dean just smirked. "What, now we're friends or something?" He said. "You wouldn't understand, and would probably turn it around on my dad. But it was my choice. That's all you need to know. My choice, not his."

"No, we're not friends." She said. "But, there are times when I am not the heinous bitch you have come to know. " She smiled a little, even though her thoughts were more on John. "Being bound to someone… that's no small undertaking."

"Never is, but sometimes it's what has to be done." Dean said with a shrug as he poured

himself another cup of coffee. "Why? Why do you say shit like you do about Dad? He's doing the best he can with what he's got, which isn't much. Why do you constantly have to slam him just because he's raising us different than everyone else?" That bothered him, highly, when she did that. Whether it was just to hurt him, or try and cause a split, she should still keep her mouth shut.

"Anger makes you say things you probably shouldn't." She admitted, honestly. "He is the father of my child. Up to the point that he was so badly hurt, I had arrangements made for Jack to be sent to your father should something happen to me. But everything changed that night. I changed… I saw what he did with you boys…" she shook her head, not sure why she was explaining even in part to a 13 year old, but it was progress. He was speaking civilly.

"Who are you to judge?" Dean pointed out. "You really only know one side of Dad, and you don't know Sam and me at all. You definitely don't know all of us together as a whole. Yeah, we're dysfunctional, yeah we're messed up. But you know what, we work. That's what matters in the end, right? So you need to stop judging, and making the comments. We're not 'baggage' Dad has to carry." At least he hoped fervently they weren't.

"Dean… believe it or not… I don't hate your father. I probably know him better than any adult living." In some ways better than his sons, but she wouldn't say it, there was no reason to. "No matter how well you work, or how much you all love each other, leaving a 9 year old boy to oversee his little brother alone, in a hotel room, when there are things like me out there… it isn't right. It could have easily been any of a thousand creatures that took you that night. You're lucky it was me. Would you leave Sam alone in a strange place with Jack? " She knew how protective Dean was of Sam. It might put it into perspective. "At any rate… the past isn't what we are facing now. You're old enough now… while I take your father to check on his lead, will you watch the boys?" She had some research she needed to do on her own as well. The mortal world might not be the best place to find a cure for what ailed John. There might be something in her world. … or her father's.

"What, not siccing the drunken demon babysitter on us?" Dean cracked and rolled his eyes. "Fine, not like I can go anywhere, right?" He'd always watch over Sam. That's what he did, what he chose to do. It was Jack she was asking for. "I'm going to go check on Dad, then I'm going to sleep." He said and headed back to his room where his father was. John was sleeping on his stomach, and his wound was still weeping. So Dean carefully and slowly moved his t-shirt so Dean could get at it, and cleaned it out a bit. Bandaged it to stop the bleeding and mess, then lowered his father's t-shirt. Part guardian, part healer, all teenager, this was a weird time in his life.

Maggie watched as the boy, young man really, walk away and sighed, running a hand through her long dark hair. "You're supposed to be an evil demon now, Maggie." She told herself. "Trying to save the good guys is no longer in your job description." But none the less she got up and strode to the bookshelf, pulling down a large black tome. It was going to be a very long night.

Dean nodded to Maggie as he went over to the room Sam was sharing with Jack and carefully, silently opened the door. Checking on the boys inside, counting breaths until he was satisfied, then turned in himself. It had been a long, long day.

John was up first. Made coffee. Got the stuff for breakfast together. Routine when he was with the boys. Mary screaming in the back of his head to try and be a father and not just a warrior, it would remind him to do the little things like this. His back stung like fire, and he wasn't really surprised when he woke up with a dressing on it. He should have been, but he knew Dean better than most.

Jack heard noises in the kitchen and padded out, still in his footed pajamas, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Can we have…" he started to ask then froze in his tracks looking at the man standing there. He had expected to see his Mom puttering about the kitchen, not this giant of a man, as big as Ben, and somehow managing to look just as tough as the fiery demon. He didn't know what to say, he thought about running but why would someone there to kill them be making breakfast?

John stared at the boy for a long moment before turning back to the stove. "I'm making eggs." He said. Busying his hands with cracking the eggs and mixing them, going through cabinets as the skillet heated up. Damn you, Maggie. His jaw was clenched, because he felt it better that Jack not know. Maggie would disagree with him, but right now it was just him and Jack. "Might as well sit down, no use just standing there."

Jack was wary for a moment, picking up on the man's anger. Not sure if it were directed at him or not. "Okay." He said and climbed up into the chair at the kitchen table. "Is my mom away again? Usually Ben comes to take care of me when she has to go away. " He didn't quite know how to wrap his brain around the stranger in his house, without his mom right there, or with out the guns and chaos.

"Your mom is sleeping. She's on the couch." John said, where she had fallen asleep reading. But he assured the kid...shit, his kid...that his mother was safe. Which was more than he could ever do for his other two, come to think of it. "You a bacon or a sausage man? Or has your mom done something stupid like raise you to be a vegetarian?" To say John was a 'meat and potatoes' man was putting it lightly. But his tone was light and teasing for the last question.

He giggled at that. "I'm not a vegi- vegitablerian. I'd be all green and leafy if I was a vegetable, and it would be really weird when mom makes stir fry. I like both, I guess sausage sounds good today." He smiled at John. He liked him. He rang Jack's little warning bells but at the same time it felt right talking to him. "Mommy was reading the black book again, huh?" He said, as he got up and went to get himself a small bottle of sunny delight from the refrigerator. "Something must be up."

"Something usually is." John said, giving his youngest son a gruff smile as he started whipping up the eggs in the skillet, taking out the sausage. Figures this would be the day that Maggie would sleep in. He wasn't up to this, he really wasn't. He wanted a shower, he wanted an antidote, and he wanted to keep trudging along with what passed for his life. Not making small talk with a dark haired moppet that did bear some resemblance to him. The kid was going to be tall, he could see that. Even as he could already see that Sam would be taller than them all, and Dean would have an attitude that would tower over all of them.

"Yeah, people always want mom to fix something or take care of something." He said as he sipped at his juice. "She must be good at it." He said with pride. She was his mom after all. "I'm Jack." He said. "What's your name?" Usually his Mom introduced him to all the adults, and he called them Mr. or Mrs. what ever. Ben was the one exception to that. He just wanted to be called Ben.

"I'm...ah..." John said and cleared his throat. He couldn't help but look around, waiting to see if Maggie would come 'help' or not. No such luck, dammit. "You can call me John." He said. "I knew your mom before you were even born."

"And you still talk to her?" He said with wide eyes. "Wow… mom never has anyone she knew from BEFORE around." He looked at John warily, a good deal of suspicion in those 6 year old eyes. "You're not going to try and hurt her are you? I've heard that sometimes people can pretend to be nice but really aren't. I haven't met anyone like that but, most people from BEFORE aren't very nice."

"If I was going to hurt her, I'd hardly make breakfast first." John pointed out logically. Dean came in, scratching his head as he yawned. He knew his father was gone, so he went in search.

"Dad? What are you doing out of bed?" Dean asked before he saw Jack.

John sighed long and low as he heard Jack jump out of his chair. He didn't want this, didn't need this, couldn't frigging handle this right now. "I'm making breakfast, Since Maggie was up doing some light reading all night." Probably afraid he'd try and make off with her son … their son.

"You're my Dad?" Jack asked, excitement in his voice at first, but then it faded. John hadn't told him he was his dad. That meant he didn't want Jack to know, which to Jack meant he didn't want to be his Dad. That hurt. But he did his own little 6 year old version of The Sigh, and moved to pick up his juice. "I should go get dressed." He said. "Not supposed to stay in my phi's all morning." He started to head out of the room.

John wanted to say something. He could tell by the change in tone that the kid had his feelings hurt some how. Not that he had a clue how. Wasn't like he had been rude or mean to the kid. This was most of the reason he didn't want to meet the kid in the first place. It was too damned awkward.

Dean shook his head. "Don't feel bad, I made him throw food and cry the first conversation I had with him. So you're doing well." Dean said as he grabbed a Sunny delight for himself and walked off to find Jack. He followed Jack into his room, knocking on the door lightly as he came in. "So, that was...weird. Grown ups have a word for it, awkward."

Sam was in the bathroom, so it was just Jack and Dean. Jack was taking clothes out of his drawers, but sat down on his bed. "I asked who he was earlier and he didn't tell me. Told me his name instead." It was because of who his mom was, and what people thought he was. Jack was sure of it. People tried to kill him because of that stuff, why would his dad want to be known as his dad. It would be embarrassing. Especially since he was technically one of the bad men, even if he didn't give Jack the creeps.

"Dude, you two just met." Dean said, sitting on the bed and leaning against the wall. "Hi I'm your dad doesn't exactly flow easily out to someone you just met, you know? I don't know, might have gone better if your mom had been there." He shrugged. "Besides, he got banged up last night. Ever fall off your bike and skin your knees right up? Are you really pleasant and friendly and open afterwards? I know I'm not."

"Skinned knees don't bother me so much." He said with a shrug. And they didn't, not after the pain he remembered. It hurt, it wasn't fun, and he definitely didn't like it but it was nothing compared to the explosion. "I guess I can understand that. He just didn't look happy is all, and I know he is… well he isn't one that comes for us… but he's a hunter… and someone like me might bug him. Cause of my mom, you know."

Dean decided to be honest with the kid. Up to the kid how much he understood. "He got bit by something last night. So he's actually a little worried about that. Not much room left in his head for other things." He said, his own mouth tightening in the worry over that.

Jack nodded, understanding dawning in his dark eyes. "Oh. Okay. Mom gets that way sometimes too. Usually right after we move." She became over protective and distracted at the same time. It usually it drove him batty. But he didn't say anything because she was upset to begin with and he didn't want to make her feel worse. "So you don't think he doesn't like me then?" He asked hopefully. Every one else he knew had a dad. He had always wanted one but his mom wouldn't date. Even though he had tried to get her to go out with Ben once.

"No, I don't think he doesn't like you." Dean said. Honestly he didn't think John had gotten that far in his thought process, but he wasn't going to tell Jack that. "But, yeah, he's a hunter." He also didn't feel the need to tell Jack he believed his father to be the baddest of the badasses when it came to hunters.

"But he's not a bad hunter right?" Jack asked. "He doesn't just… hurt everyone who's different though…right?" Probably not a distinction Dean had ever thought of but it was a very clear one as far as Jack was concerned.

"Dad goes after anything that's hurting other people." Dean said. That made his father a hero in Dean's book. Because he didn't have to. He could have focused on the yellow eyed demon and that was it. But John took out anything else he found along the way.

Jack smiled at that, the tension in his little body relaxing "Okay." He said, having a similar thought to Dean on that subject. His mother didn't hurt people, well… as long as they didn't hurt her or him. He didn't know that she lashed out in a broad scale. Just that she wasn't the sort of demon that killed for fun or food. Which had to be why his father and mother weren't trying to kill each other.

Sam came back into the room. "Dad says breakfast is ready. And he wants someone to wake up Maggie." He said not really wanting that job. The woman still freaked him out no matter how she was behaving.

"Go ahead, Jack. She's your mom." Dean said, getting both him and Sam out of that job. "Come on, Sammy, let's go eat." Besides, it would probably be better if Jack informed Maggie on the impromptu father-son reunion. He and Maggie had come to an uneasy detente last night. Didn't mean he was going to volunteer to talk to her.

Jack nodded and hurried off to do just that leaving the brothers to walk along toward the kitchen. "How is he this morning?" Sam asked. His dad had looked pretty ragged last night when Sam had seen him, before Maggie had healed the things that she was able to heal.

"He's cooking." Dean said with a shrug. "He's up and about...can't say much more than that." He wasn't going to tell Sam about the bite, not until he could give him some assurances. "Hey Dad." He said when they got to the kitchen and Dean went and got Sam a glass of milk.

"Hey Dad." Sam said in unison with his brother, and they were rewarded with an almost smile. Close as it got with John Winchester really.

"Morning." He said as he served up the plates of food, five instead of 3. It was strange to do so. "You boys doing alright this morning?" He asked looking at both of them intently, with a look that said he would know if they were lying.

"Yes, sir." Sammy said as he took the milk and thanked Dean.

Jack came back into the room and took his seat. "Mom will be out in a few minutes." He said.

John nodded and ate his food quickly. A pseudo family meal was not anything he was in the mood for. He figured Maggie wasn't as well, or she wouldn't be a few minutes in arriving.

"I'm good." Dean said as he ate. "So are we moving again as soon as we get back?"

John nodded. "Yeah, we are." John said as he put his plate in the sink. "I'm going to catch a shower."

"Okay." Sammy said and looked over at Jack. "You wanna go outside for a while?" He asked his little brother, wow he had a little brother, and he didn't even have to put up with that messy stinky phase. Okay so it would be like every other half brother he had ever heard of, seeing him once in a rare blue moon, but he had a little brother and he planned to take advantage of it while he could. He picked up his and Jack's plates and took them to the sink.

"Sure!" He said with an excited smile.

Maggie looked up as John came out of the kitchen. She had already cleaned up, and changed clothes. "When you get done I can take you out to talk to who ever it is you need to talk to about this lead."

"Good." John said and disappeared into the bathroom and took a quick, painful shower. Dean waited patiently and cleaned up the kitchen, then when his father was mostly dressed, went in to reapply the dressing. "If I'm not back in two weeks...I don't care what you have to do, get you and Sam to Caleb's. That's an order."

"Yes sir." Dean said as he finished taping, nodding. "Two weeks, Caleb's." He'd manage it somehow.

"Dean, if you don't hear from me after 30 days…the man that comes to find you won't be me." He said, not sure he wanted to go into it but if he couldn't do it before turning, he didn't want his boys going away with the monster he would become.

Dean sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked at his father seriously as John finished dressing, now that the bandage was in place. "So that's what's going to happen if you don't find an antidote." John nodded.

"And I need Sam far away from Maggie. I can't go into it now, there isn't time, but trust me." John said. "And do this for me."

Maggie packed up the things she figured she would need if she were out in the real world again, and placed the black book out on the table, with the pages marked. She wouldn't ask the boys to do it, wouldn't need to. They would sort it out on their own and save John the guilt of agreeing to send them on the quest for his salvation.

Provided they discovered things about Sam and the darkness…

She entered the kitchen and found the younger boys not there, then stepped outside. Good, there they were. She stood watching them at play, smiling at the sound of their laughter, thinking that was worth everything, to hear her son laugh.

A somber John and Dean came out of the bathroom. "Let's go." John said to Maggie as Dean sat down at the table with his arms crossed over his chest, just staring at the tablecloth. "Dean...remember."

"I will, sir." Dean said, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he stared.

"Good." John said with a breath. He'd had close calls before, just none that were drawn out. "Ready?"

"Yes." She said. "Where am I taking you?" She asked him, not sure what his contacts were any longer. It was hard to say what direction they would be taking.

"Back to my car." John said simply.

"Now you kids behave." Dean called after them as he went to watch over Jack and Sam. He didn't feel like playing right now, not with what his father had just laid on him.

John managed a chuckle as Maggie shadowed them back to the Impala, in as great condition as it ever was. With perhaps a few modifications. "Okay, I know this shaman about forty miles out. He's not going to be happy to see me, but that's not new."

She smiled as she went to get into the passengers side. "Is anyone ever happy to see you, John?" She couldn't believe she was doing this. Getting back into this car, with this man. It was insanity. Absolute insanity. But Ben had told her once that even now she could make a choice, maybe this was the time to make that choice. Maybe this was the path back…

Wow that was a scary thought.

John smiled a bit, fondly. "Dean and Sam." He said. "That's actually about it." And managed to chuckle about it, really. "Other than them, most everyone else can piss off. Unfair of you to leave me with Jack though, you know. Me? I think he was better off never knowing. Not with all the propaganda you've been feeding him, how hunters are all evil and bad men and all that. Six and he's going to have an identity crisis."

"Propaganda… no… I used a euphemism for people that break into our home and try and kill us because if I said hunters, he would think anyone out for a little venison was a deadly enemy. He has always known his father was a hunter, he knows I used to be one." She told John shaking her head. "And if I am going to have to blow you away with silver shot in 29 days, the least I could do was allow him the chance to actually meet the man who helped to create him." She stuffed her bag in the back. "And trust me the last thing anyone needs is to be blind sided by their parentage later on in life."

"Twenty eight." He corrected her. "Don't leave it to the last minute, or you might not find me. Nephilim or not, I'll be one scary son of a bitch if I change and you know it. And I'll be off your radar. But you actually only have two weeks. Because that's the deadline I gave Dean. And if you think my son can't find a way out of your phased out home, you don't know Dean." He said with pride.

"No.. I have 28 days. If this doesn't pan out, we go back to my home and you spend as much time as you can with your children while we … search out other things that might work. If you want Dean and Sam gone in two weeks, then that is how it will be." She wasn't going to argue with him about that. The personality changes would begin around that time, and while for someone who didn't know him it wouldn't be obvious it would be to the boys. She might have to send Jack away at that point as well. She didn't want him to remember his father that way. Although she hoped Dean would read the book. If not she would have to suggest it herself later on. And if she did that she would have to lock John up in the cellar to make it happen.

"I don't want them to remember me that way." John said. "And I don't want Sam around you without me there. Nothing personal, it really isn't. But I know about him now, and I can't have him around someone who's crossed that line. It's too dangerous for everyone." For John knew more about Sam and his 'potential' than Maggie, and it was frightening. He'd save his son no matter what, he knew that. Including taking precautions.

He got off the exit. And fell silent as he entered the reservation, parking the Impala outside a shack. Because the man inside refused to fix it at all. "Just don't go agreeing with everything Amos Whitecloud says, I'm already in a bad mood."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "He has that high an opinion of you, huh?" She asked. Not arguing with him about Sam. It was possible he was right. But right now the plan was to make sure John was alright. She still couldn't believe she was doing this.

John opened the door to the shack. Didn't need to really open it either. Just...push. Amos Whitecloud, an elderly Indian man with snow white hair carefully and fastidiously plaited into two braids looked up with a peaceful expression.

Only to have that expression darken with a stormy scowl as he recognized John. "You!" He said.

"Amos, now I know you're still mad about that thing..."

"You perverted my traditions. For your own selfish reasons."

"Now, that's not exactly true..."

Amos grabbed his rifle and checked to make sure it was loaded and leveled it at John.

"See, told you he likes me." John said to Maggie.

"While I agree that John has a way of utilizing things to his own ends, we have more important things to talk about now, if you wouldn't mind putting that gun down or at least not pointing it at him at the moment." Maggie said, in a quiet and respectful tone. She grew up in Hong Kong . Elders were venerated, even if they were someone else's elders.

Amos reluctantly lowered the rifle, but kept it at his ready as he sat back down in his chair. "If it in any way involves helping him...I did that once. I learned my lesson." Amos said.

"Amos, we've had our differences." John said carefully. "You don't agree with what I've done. But it had to be done. But she's right. Got more important things right now." He shrugged off his jacket, his sweatshirt, his flannel and pulled up his t-shirt, taking off the dressing Dean had so carefully applied earlier and turned around.

Maggie looked at John as if he had sprouted a second head, and prepared to move between him and the old man just in case he decided to shoot him any way.

"How long?" Amos asked, frowning at the wound.

"He was bitten last night." Maggie supplied as Amos got slowly from his chair and stepped toward John looking over the wound.

"What kind?" He asked, poking and prodding at the wound.

"Jesus Christ!" John said as his wound was disturbed. "Ygramul." He said, taking deep breaths.

"Then make your peace with your god, John." Amos said. "Might want to make them with mine as well. Possibly hers. And everyone else you've ever met."

"You've got nothing?" John asked, lowering his shirt.

"I have nothing. Not against a Ygramul. Have someone put a bullet in your head now. Because if they think you're unpleasant now, well, they should check back in a couple of weeks."

"John… we're not giving up yet." Maggie said. "Let me try a few of my channels before you go blowing a hole in anything vital. Not that your head is necessarily vital."

The old man hmphed. "She knows you I see. Not sure why you brought her to me. She is still corporeal. I can do nothing until she has crossed into shadow."

"Excuse me?" Maggie said although it wasn't so much of a question. She looked at John. "Why is it every time I go out of my way to help you, someone drops another bombshell on my head? Come on, let's get out of here before I decide he's right and I really should shoot you."

"And how is the boy?" Amos asked John as he pulled on his layers again.

"He's fine." John said. "I told you he would be. You underestimated him because he's not Indian."

"No, I expressed concern because he was too young." Amos said, shaking his head as John led Maggie out.

"What kind of channels are we talking about?" He asked, while unknown to his two youngest, his oldest was reading a book John would never have allowed at this age.

"Things made more of shadow than not." Maggie said, not as cryptically as it sounded. "Don't worry, no deals will be made over this. No matter how many times it's offered." Yes she had already had the debate with her father in the wee hours of the morning as she herself had poured over the book that Dean was now reading. "But things he won't like." She shrugged. "Some people just can't accept there is nothing supernatural in the world. Everything has its place. Some just really need to be put down is all."

"That's the discussion we've always had." John said. "And what 'he' are we talking about? Look, I need to know if this is even worth saving my life for. Because, actually, not a lot of things are." He could make arrangements for the boys, they'd be fine after a fashion. And he'd been waiting to die in a way for years.

"You are such an idiot." She said shaking her head. "I have no idea why I fell in love with you. Or how." She said getting into the car "Have you not seen your sons smile? Heard them laugh? Haven't you seen they way they look at you?" She asked. "That should be worth saving your life for, worth far more than anything else you have in this world. But if that's not enough then we can always just let the demon win."

"You fell in love with an illusion." John said flatly. "And you need to make up your mind." He said as he got to the drivers side and got in. "Either I'm the best thing for my kids or they'd be better off without me, because I can't argue two points at once. Not right now. Now what 'he' were you talking about? Your father? I want nothing to do with that son of a bitch."

"No John… I didn't. You didn't give me an illusion. You were just as obnoxious as you are now. But that doesn't matter anymore. Never did as you have well proved. I was referring to you not liking my sources. My father, well… he made his offers and I turned them down. He should be used to that by now. Only thing I have ever taken from him was to keep my son alive."

"Fine." John said as he put the Impala in gear. If they were going to follow her shadowy leads, he wanted his car in a safe place. It might be of use to his sons someday.

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

Dean read the book. And flipped back and forth between pages to reference different things. He knew from what he was reading that his dad's chances were slim. Slim enough to be negligible. And that wasn't acceptable to him. So if John couldn't do something, Dean was going to do something.

"Whatcha doing?" Sam asked sitting down beside his brother. Jack was off getting something from his room and Sam decided he needed a big brother break. "You didn't tell me I was that tiring." He said with a laugh.

Dean chuckled as he turned another page. "You were definitely that tiring." Dean said with a grin. "I'm looking up how to save Dad." He said honestly. "Think I almost got it." He saw Jack return. "Hey, Jack, when you need to get in touch with Ben, how do you do it? Do you know his number or whatever?"

Jack shook his head. "It's on the phone though. I don't think she called anyone else since last night." He was a smart kid. He knew about redial, and caller ID. "Why?" He asked, also knowing that Dean wouldn't be looking for the number without a reason.

"All right." Dean said and pushed redial.

"What, Maggie?" Ben said.

"It's Dean Winchester."

"How'd you get this number?" Ben asked, instantly alert.

"Redial, dude." Dean said. "Listen," he said, injecting worry in his tone. "I'm watching Sam...and Jack. And there's something wrong with Jack..."

Ben was in the room before Dean could even finish, and saw Jack. Perfectly fine. "What the hell is this?" He demanded.

Dean hung up the phone. "I need you to watch them. Something I gotta take care of."

"What the hell?" Ben asked, not sure if he were pissed or amused by the kid. Either way he was glad he was Maggie's full time problem not his.

"No way." Sam said. "You're not ditching me."

"We'll that's settled." Ben said with a shrug. "How ya doin, kid?" He said to Jack, making sure that the oldest Winchester boy wasn't giving the littlest anymore trouble.

"Sam I gotta go." Dean said. "I gotta save Dad. Two weeks, get to Caleb's. Promise me," he said to Ben, having found information on Ben in Maggie's book, "that you will take Sam to Caleb's."

"Listen kid..."

"Promise me!" Dean said emphatically, to the point where his voice cracked. So intent on his purpose he didn't even notice.

Ben scowled. "Fine."

"Say it."

"You know, some books aren't meant for kids."

"I'm not a kid. Not really." Dean said. He hadn't been for some time.

"So… what is it you think you found in that book that will save your dad, and what the hell does he need saving from other than Maggie?" Ben asked bluntly. Not that he had ever figured Maggie would kill the man, without his actual involvement in the whole mess.

"Save Dad… what's wrong with Dad? You said he was okay earlier!" Sam objected and Ben rolled his eyes.

"So much for settled." Ben grumbled. "Come on kid, show me what you think you're going after cause if it came from that book, you're headed into the shadow lands and that's not a place I recommend anyone with a heart beat go into. Human, Demon, Nephilim…hell I wouldn't even send some fallen into that realm. So it better be good, cause I have other promises to keep along the way too."

Dean sighed and flipped to the pages Maggie had marked. And others he had marked and turned the book around for Ben to see. "That's what I found. Ygramul, can't be cured here on Earth. Only there. I gotta get that water."

Ben frowned and looked at the pages. He glanced at Dean. "I know these places." He said.

"Then you can take me there." Dean said.

"No way. It's no place for kids." Ben said, sitting down and lighting a cigarette (without a lighter).

"Then I'll find my own way." Dean said, taking the book back and opening it again.

"Dean..." Sam said. "If you're going to save Dad, I get to come."

"I'm not going to the park, Sammy." Dean said.

"I don't care." Sam said. "He's my dad too."

Dean looked at the book. Time was wasting. "Fine." He said. "Let's go. I got a lead with this book."

"You have no idea what you are up against." Ben said, shaking his head. "This isn't going to be like going on a hunt with Daddy. You aren't the ones that belong out there. Your innocence is like blood in a shark tank out there. Is saving your father worth risking your little brother?" He asked Dean pointedly.

"I'm going." Sam said firmly. "He's my Dad too." He said, although the truth was he wasn't about to let Dean go out there and face what ever dangers there were alone. Dean wouldn't abandon him like that. He wasn't going to abandon him.

"I don't have time to argue." Dean said in frustration.

"Well you better make time to get geared up. You can't go out there and just waltz 100 miles on foot and stride up to the temple and take their water in an afternoon, and you aren't going to do it without resistance from the locals. Have I mentioned that this is a world of shadows you are traipsing into?"

"All right, we'll gear up." Dean said, having already located Maggie's weapons. She had left him alone in the house after all. He went to a closet and pulled back the false wall, taking out weapons and amulets, anything he recognized he thought they'd need. "Sam, go find us some book bags or something." He said with a sigh as he glared at Ben, who he found less than helpful right now. Ben was unaffected by the petulant glare of a young teenager though and just stared back.

"I'll keep an eye on Jack." Ben said as he sat back and smoked.

"You're helpful." Dean said as he started pulling easy to travel food out of the cabinets and a couple bottles of water, including an empty one that he started drawing on with markers to differentiate it from the others.

Sam brought back the book bags and Dean started to pack them, leaving Sam's lighter, carrying most of the food, so it would get lighter as they went. "We're like Sam and Frodo." Sam said with a laugh. He liked Lord of the Rings. Samuel and Samwise were pretty close.

"And remember they won at the end." Dean said in agreement.

"Yeah, except Frodo was missing a finger and was forever touched by the darkness." Ben said.

"Stop helping."

"If you are going to use analogies may as well get them right. We won't talk about the endless torture, and Samwise wandering around alone… in Shelob's lair … " Ben shook his head. "Sometimes I think Tolkien knew too much." He pointed out

"Now you are just trying to scare us." Sam said as he helped pack the two back packs.

"Yeah." Ben said nonchalantly. "But I'm only using the truth to do it." He adjusted in the chair as Jack came and climbed up on his lap with a book, watching his new found brothers pack up to leave.

"You're using fiction." Dean said.

"And how do you know it's fiction? Completely anyway." Ben countered as he opened up the children's book for Jack. "How do you know someone wasn't whispering in his ear?"

"Were you there?" Dean asked sarcastically, and Ben grinned.

"Maybe I was." He said with a chuckle. "Jack, say good bye to your brothers."

"You're leaving? I thought you liked me." Jack said, crestfallen. Dean stopped what he was doing and knelt down so he was eye level with Jack.

"We do." He assured the child. "But Dad's in trouble. And this is what family does. Family helps family. He needs this water, we can get it. I need you to stay here and hold down the fort, because Dad's gonna need someone to look out for him until we get back."

"You really think he'll need me?" Jack asked, hopeful and yet unsure at the same time.

"Oh yeah. He needs to have a son around wouldn't know what to do without one." Sam said, thinking Jack would be the only one keeping John and Maggie from tearing each other apart. It was a sentiment Ben shared. "But we gotta go so we can get back soon."

Jack nodded, still not happy with them leaving. "Okay… I'll be waiting for you."

Ben would have put his foot down, but there was no real point. The boys wouldn't be able to cross the boundaries into the shadow lands on their own. You needed a guide to go, someone touched by shadows, or there was no crossing the line. He figured it would be half an hour or so before they gave up trying and came back inside, and then he could get on with his life.

Dean took a deep breath and handed Sam the lighter of the bags, strapping some weapons to his body. And a few bottles of holy water their father had had. "All right. See you." He said and led Sam in the direction they needed to go. He was, at this point, a selective reader. He had missed that part about the guide, seeing as he didn't want to read that. Because it would have been an obstacle.

But surprisingly, to the shock of Ben who was watching, they crossed over into the shadow lands, a land barren of anything resembling light and life. "Okay, we're going that way." Dean said, pointing to the one shard of light seen on the horizon.


	8. Chapter 8

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Okay, I will admit that we had strayed from the path a bit(a lot), but sometimes stories are determined to go in a certain direction. This one is very determined. When we try to direct it in other paths it always comes back to this. So here we are. I hope you are enjoying it. Please let us know.

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"So why the hell are you helping me, Maggie? And don't feed me a line of bull either." John said as he parked the car at his rental house. The boys were going to need things to tide them over and John, well a change of clothes couldn't hurt him any either.

"Because you're Jack's father." She said as she looked around the decidedly masculine home.

"Cut the bull, you were more than willing to kill me back there, and probably would have if you hadn't figured out I wasn't the one that set you up." John countered as he shoved things into a Marine issue duffle bag.

"But you didn't and … I need you in one piece." She sighed at the look he gave her. Most would have shuddered a little at such a glare but Maggie had never been intimidated by John. "Because I am flying apart, John." She looked at her feet. "This isn't normal… not for my kind. Normally we make our good and evil choices every day like everyone else in the world, just on a larger scale because of our abilities. This is different. "

John paused and looked at her. "Were you going to take Sam down this road with you if I had turned out to be the one? Is that it? Were you going to turn my son evil? Cause I don't see a single way that this could have worked out otherwise if you kept him. "

"I don't THINK when I am angry anymore." She snapped. "I don't mean that I just fly off the handle, I mean I don't think. I don't feel the same way I am feeling now. It's like the anger takes over, and I lash out at the most vulnerable places, in the worst ways. Everything **I** am shuts down –"

"And you took my boys into that kind of danger zone? Knowing you could lose it at any moment?" John yelled.

"Hello! Didn't I just say that I'm not exactly a nice person when this happens? Don't you ever listen to anything but that damned inner monologue! I am coming completely undone, John. I am becoming something else. I need you in one piece because I need someone to take care of Jack when I … when I'm no longer able to be a mother. The boy is completely human John. It's not hereditary… he's a good boy and he deserves to have at least one parent love him. And if you are able to put what ever I become to rest, well that's just a bonus for both of us isn't it?" She shook her head. "You know when people said we would kill each other one day, this so isn't what they had in mind."

John shook his head. "Well, this is a great spot you've put me in, Maggie." He said, as he went from room to room in the small house, grabbing things the boys would need. And things they'd like. Their school books, because they didn't have a choice on that one. "Helluva time to put this on me, considering I'll probably not be me in two weeks or so." And how was he going to protect Sam and prepare Dean if he wasn't here? That thought scared him more than dying. He was prepared for dying. And it scared him more than the thought of turning into something he would have hunted. His boys weren't ready for the world, and the world wasn't ready for them.

He went to the fridge and dumped out the milk, it wouldn't be good by the time they got back. Put the bread in the fridge, moved different perishables around. "Send Jack to Caleb." He said. "Because I might not be able to do it either."

"What? I should have just let him die that night? Should have laid down and died myself too? If it had been me I would have, but not my son. Never my son. And I wasn't the only one involved in his conception you know so it's not like I planned to put you in this position." She said angrily. "And no I won't send him to Caleb. We'll find a way to cure you, and you can take him with you when you leave. I won't let him lose both parents… and if he does… I have contingency plans. Hunters will assume he is like me. If you aren't around to protect him, he would be better off with demons. "

"Contingency plans? Oh you must mean the sullen demon with a drinking problem. Great plan there." John said as he finished up in the kitchen and double checked all the locks. Dean was good, and he obeyed orders, but it never hurt to recheck. And lay down some extra protection as he needed it. "The boys go to Caleb. I can't have Sam grow up around demons. I'll exact a promise from your favorite inebriated demon if I have to."

"I have his promise to protect Jack." She said. "And if I thought I could trust Caleb not to be like Bill then I would send him there, but I can't. He would take good care of your boys. Jim, maybe I could trust. A man of the cloth should have a little more understanding of what a nephilim actually is." She picked up half of the gear. "But I haven't given up hope on you yet. Me it's a given. I swallowed it whole and it's eating its way out. There is nothing that is going to change that."

"Is it worth it?" John asked. "Sure, you saved his life, but I've put up with enough side comments and snide remarks from you on life with me as a father. You really think it'll change? I've a demon I'm tracking. According to you, I've already fucked up Sam and Dean beyond repair. Bet you can't wait to see what I do to Jack."

"Fine, if you don't want him, I wont make you take him." She said. "Yeah, you've screwed those boys in more ways than you know. I can see it. Everyone with eyes can see it, but as Dean said you guys work. They don't doubt that you love them. I want Jack to be loved, not grow up as a burden to someone he barely knows. Then again I suppose you would consider him that too, a burden that you barely know. " She shook her head "Fine you're off the hook but I'm not giving you the satisfaction of killing you before I absolutely have to."

"Dammit Maggie, I don't want to die. Not yet." Not until his boys were men. And now, his life had just been extended by Jack. He didn't expect Maggie to understand. She really had never seemed to understand that all that was normal and light in John had died. Burned up with Mary. He was more than a cipher, certainly, but that man was dead. And most days he didn't like the man he had become. But the man he had become was going to be the one that helped prevent Sam from turning into Maggie.

"I found a few things in the book last night that might be able to keep you around a little while longer at least." Maggie said. "We'll look into it again when we get back to the house. Get to know your son… you'll regret it later on if you don't." She said waiting for him to be ready to go.

John snorted at that. He had a lot of regrets, and they just piled up higher and higher, until he couldn't see the forest for the trees. "Fine, I'm ready." He had everything he could think of bringing. Because if push came to shove, it would also be what his boys would be bringing to Caleb's.

Maggie reached out and took his arm and stepped into the shadow cast across Johns living room floor by the setting sun, and slid through the shadows to her home. While her grip upon him remained sound and firm, her form did not. She became almost wispy and dark as they traveled, and remained so for almost a full second once on the other side.

John looked at her for a long moment. "When you fully become a shadow, our deal on me not hunting you is off." He said bluntly.

Ben had gotten Jack down for a nap, the boys had been gone for five hours so far. And came out when he heard John and Maggie. "We have a bit of a problem I think." He said and handed Maggie the book. "Dean found this. Now he and Sam are on their own personal quest through Mordor."

Maggie and John swore in unison.

Maggie took the book and started to look through the pages that Dean had marked, this was advantageous but not exactly as planned. They would need protections, and it was much harder to set into motion with them gone.

"And you just let them go?" John demanded. "Big strong demon and you can't keep two kids in the damned house? How long ago did they leave?" He said setting one of the bags down and starting to gather weapons.

"Sit down, John." Maggie said.

"Go to hell. This is as much your fault as his leaving that thing out where Dean could find it. What the hell kind of book is it anyway?" His boys were out there in that place… in that darkness. Sam was out there. What state would he be in when he came back?

"The answer to saving your hide." She said as she opened the book to the appropriate page.

Ben raised an eyebrow at John. "I figured they'd play along the border and then come back when they realized they couldn't cross. How was I to know they could cross into the shadowlands. No one tells me shit." Ben said. "Next thing I know, they're walking through the barrier."

John swore and took the book and read the page, throwing the book on a table. "You knew about this." He said to Maggie. "You knew Dean would try something, and you wanted that, or you would have hidden the book!"

"I intended to be back before he left. I didn't think he would endanger Sam so easily. " She said, calm in the face of his anger. "Neither of us can go. The darkness flowing in our veins would accelerate. Besides, even if we could survive the trek, with what passes for our souls intact, we can't enter the temple. We aren't innocent. In oh so many ways we are not innocent. In truth only a child could do it. You need it. Your son is being the man you raised him to be. Deal with it."

"Deal with it?" John said and threw a near by cup across the room, letting it shatter against the wall. "My sons are out there. Now get me across the damn barrier so I can go get them. And smack some sense into them."

Ben shook his head. "They've got a good five hours on you. You'd never find them." ben said. "So just cool your heels and hope they come back."

"Hope they come back? I don't really know who the hell you are, but I don't just sit back and let things happen to my kids." John said. "Now we're going."

"Go dance in the yard all you want. I ain't taking you." Ben said.

"John, if you go out there you will cease to exist. You have 28 days to sort this out. Do you really want to go out there, and find them only to turn into an evil son of a bitch on the way back and kill them just cause it would be fun? Give them time. It's going to take a few days for them to get to the temple. " Part of her enjoyed this, enjoyed the way he worried, how he twisted inside at the thought of his sons in danger. She didn't bother to beat those feelings into submission as she turned another page.

Give them time. That was her solution. And John was not the most patient man. Oh in some instances he could be annoyingly patient. And quiet. But this was not one of them as he sat down heavily in a chair. "And how long do they get to be gone, wandering in a shadowland, before we worry? Or am I allowed to worry now about my thirteen year old son leading my nine year old son across a demon wasteland?" Oh he was going to have to be stopped when Dean came back. He might kill the boy. Even if he didn't change.

"Then I suppose you shouldn't have taught him to be a man before his time. Natural consequences, John."

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Sam looked up at is brother. He was tired. He couldn't remember ever having walked so long. His legs hurt, his feet really hurt and he was convinced that the back pack was getting heavier with every step. But he didn't say a word. Dean had let him come along and he wasn't going to make his brother regret bringing him. Their Dad needed their help. It didn't matter how tired he was when compared to that.

Dean looked at Sam and his jaw clenched. He shouldn't have done this. He shouldn't have brought Sam. But he didn't have time to argue, and Sam had every right to come along, as much right as Dean had had to embark on the journey. But he'd made up needs to tie his shoe, adjust his pack, anything to give his little brother a breather. If only for a few moments before striding stoically ahead. Toward the light that was cutting the darkness.

He had no idea how long they had walked, his watch stopped working the moment they'd entered this place. He just knew it had been a while. A long while. He was sick of walking, but there wasn't exactly another way to get there.

"Come on, Sammy." He said, leading his brother behind a bluff. "Let's stop and eat."

"Do you think Dad is okay back there with her?" He asked. He knew there was something wrong with his dad. Something bad. "She won't make what's wrong with him worse will she?" He didn't trust her. He liked Jack. Liked Jack a lot, he was a good kid, and it was fun being the big brother for a change, but Maggie still scared him, not that he would admit it. She had been less scary the last time she had taken them. Her eyes were different now.

Dean shrugged. "I don't know, Sam." He said, as he passed his brother some crackers and cheese, and some carefully rationed water. "That's why we gotta get this water and haul ass back. Because I don't know." He was honest. He probably shouldn't have been, seeing Sam's eyes widen. But he didn't kn ow, and he knew time was of the essence. He retied his brother's shoelaces as Sam ate, making them tighter. Double knotting them. Then tied his own and took a small swig of the water. Almost time to go again.

"I wonder what happened here to make it so dead." Sam asked, more to himself than Dean. He knew his brother would only have suppositions not any real answers. "It's like the whole place is … sad." He said for lack of a better word. Something about it made his skin crawl. Not in that creeped out sort of way either. There was something… unnatural …in the sadness he sensed. It was hollow… scraped out hollow and it made something inside him, that he had never really known was there, and couldn't explain if he had, recoil.

"Well, let's just get back as soon as we can." Dean said. He didn't like it here. It was dark, everything was dry. The air, the ground, the sky, everything. He just wanted to get the water, and get back to his Dad. Preferably before his Dad even knew he was gone. Especially since he had taken Sammy with him, oh he knew he was going to pay for that. But somehow it had just felt right that he'd take his kid brother with him. And...he didn't want to do this alone. He liked to think that he could have if he had to, but he didn't want to. He packed everything back up and they started walking again across the plain dotted with scraggly scrawny trees.

Sam didn't think that the light was getting any closer. It was like following the moon to him. But still they walked. Ever onward, following the beacon of light as though it were a lighthouse in the storm. But there was no storm. Storms were alive in their own strange way. This place didn't even have that. It felt like they were the only thing living anywhere. He didn't think it was possible but night time was even darker, and colder. He walked closer to his older brother. "We need to find someplace to hide." Sam said quietly, as though afraid something would hear him. But he didn't know what. They hadn't seen anything else moving since they left the house.

"We will." Dean said. "But I want to cover more ground first." And right now there was no place to hide. He was keeping a look out, and an eye on the light. Couldn't have been a closer entrance, could there have? He was edgy, and on guard as he kept Sam close to him, waiting for anything that might happen. But even the air was dead, no movement as it got colder and darker. "The quicker we get there, the quicker we can get back."

"Okay." He said, even though his little legs were so tired they hurt with each step. Dean was right the sooner they got there the sooner they would get back. But he could almost feel things moving out there like they were watching and following. "What's wrong with Dad?" He asked. Hoping Dean would actually tell him.

"He..ah...he got bit by something." Dean said. "And we've got like a month before he changes into it." That scared him more than anything, not that his father would die, but that he'd become some sort of creature that was supernatural and evil.

Sam's stomach tightened and forced a lump up into his throat. "And this water we are going after will save him? Make it so that he doesn't have to be hunted?" He and his father had never seemed to really click. There was a wedge between them ever since the first time they had been abducted. "Once he is better do you think she will let us go?" He was no fool. He knew the reason his father was there was because she had them. Even now she still had them. The only alternative to her home was here in this wasteland.

"Once he's better she won't have a choice." Dean said confidently. "You'll see, Dad will put her in her place. He's like that. She doesn't really stand a chance, demon or not." His faith in his father was unshakeable. John would get them out of this mess once he was back in his normal health.

Sometimes Sam thought he and his brother were speaking of two different people when they talked about their father. Dean saw someone who could put Superman in his place with a shrug, and call him weak. Sam just saw a man. A mountain of a man, a strong and powerful man, but just a man. Dean was still his hero. And there wasn't room for two in Sam's little world. "I hope so." He said and kept walking.

And walking.

Always walking.

He stopped feeling the pain in his legs after a while. They weren't exactly numb but that was the only word he could think of to describe them. They tingled mostly, accompanied by a slow burning ache that he just didn't register any more. He knew somehow that it would hurt worse once he stopped and got off of them. So he didn't ask Dean to stop anymore.

Dean found a bluff. He didn't want to be stuck in a cave, but he didn't want to be out in the open. "Come on, let's make camp." He said. Their father had actually taken them on camping trips. S ure, they'd doubled as reconnaissance trips for John, but he'd taught his sons how to make shelters, how to ration water, everything that a 'real' camper needed to know. So Dean started digging a little into the bluff to give them more of a hiding place. And if it was small enough, and if they slept close enough together, it should be warm enough.

Sam did what he could to help Dean. Getting off of his feet had felt good for the first few moments, then the blood started to rush to his toes again and everything hurt. But he didn't say anything about it, there was nothing they could do about it and he had demanded to come along. Not like Dean could walk him home and all. "100 miles is a long way. How far do you think we walked today?" He asked.

"I don't know. A ways?" Dean said. It was hard to tell, the landscape never really changed, and they didn't seem all that much closer to the light than when they started. "And it could be less than a hundred miles. The book wasn't exactly clear. We'll get there. Hopefully by tomorrow." He didn't want any delay in getting the water to their father. He needed it, and Dean needed to get it done. His feet were throbbing and his calves hurt. Even his back hurt, maybe it wouldn't have been such a bad idea to keep going, to delay all this a bit longer. BUt now that he was off his feet, he wasn't exactly wanting to jump back on them as he took off his shoes and forced his toes to wiggle.

Sam leaned back and undid his shoes, unable to hold back a whimper of pain as he pulled a sock off of a blister. "Tomorrow would be good." Sam said. He figured he could make it through another day… maybe. He could do it because Dean needed him to do it.

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Maggie thanked Ben for his efforts in babysitting, and promised to call him as soon as it was over. She wanted him gone before John had a chance to wrangle a promise from him. That was something she couldn't allow. Not now. Not with the darkness settling in.

She was going insane she was sure. One moment she wanted nothing more than to be her old self. To go back to the woman she had been before she had ever met John Winchester. She just wanted to make things safe for her son, just wanted to keep him in one piece and alive. But this place was eating at her humanity, making that goal less and less important with each passing moment.

The emotions she felt for John ran the gambit, but what it boiled down to was festering, rotting love. Obsession that peaked with bright moments of genuine affection, that dwindled away into sharp spikes of pain and betrayal. She wouldn't let him turn into a shape shifter if she could help it, not because it would destroy the man he was but because it would make him even harder to contain. Because it would make him a threat to Jack.

His boys would come back with the antidote, or they wouldn't come back at all, at which point she would just agree to the arrangements her father wanted to make. They didn't seem like such a bad idea now. And if the boys became lost in the darkness, all John would have left was Jack. Which also didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Ben wasn't so easily shaken. He was a different sort of demon. One couldn't compare him to a Nephalim, or a Fallen, because there was no comparison. It was like comparing apples and oranges. So she thought he was gone, but he stayed, watching.

Because Maggie was on the verge of losing it. And John Winchester's continued presence was just accelerating what she had begun so long ago. He didn't give a shit about John. Or Dean or Sam. But he did have a grudging affection for Jack. So he stayed. To keep an eye on things.

John refused to acknowledge anything or anyone. Just stared out the window where he was told the barrier was. Where his sons should return through. ANd hadn't yet. The waiting was driving him insane. With guilt. Because Dean wouldn't have tried to pull such a STUPID stunt if he had been fine. And anger, because Maggie had obviously told Dean what was wrong.

But for the moment he wasn't acknowledging anything but his own wait. Waiting.

She looked over at John. "I'll be back. Jack is napping. Bed time is at 8 and he needs to work on his reading before bed." She said as she went to pick up her coat, checking the rounds in her weapons.

"Then you better be back before then." John said, still staring out the window. "Because I don't plan on moving until Dean and Sam cross through that barrier. Don't think because you sent my other two sons into demon exile that I'm going to play daddy to the kid you kept away from me in the first place. So whatever's more important than feeding your son and working on his reading, better be quick."

"Considering I am going to call in a few favors to get your sons back sooner, I suggest you be a little nicer about dealing with mine." She said coldly, eyes flashing brilliant unnatural blue. "And it's not my fault you threatened to kill me if you ever saw me again. Think about that next time you accuse me of keeping MY son from you."

"I wasn't accusing you." John said flatly, not looking at her. Still staring out the window. "I was stating a fact. I'll be perfectly polite but I am not moving until I see Dean and Sam cross that yard. Don't make me repeat myself."

"He's as much yours as the others are." And with that she slid into the shadows. Not even needing to step into one any longer, in this half way point between the world of Light and the world of Darkness.

She looked around her and then at the host her father had chosen this time around. "I appreciate your sense of irony." She said. "But we have to talk."

"Oh dear." He said with a roll of his eyes. "This is the part where you tell me seeing John Winchester humbled isn't all you thought it would be? Or guilt at sending two boys to their death? Perhaps Jack needs a new toy? There is hardly anything we have to talk about."

"John Winchester will never be humbled." She said with a shrug. "And at the moment that suits me fine. When Sam comes back more like me than his precious Mary and Dean is a hair's breadth from becoming a shade… his pain might be enough to suit me. 10 minutes from now that might change again and I will want to protect his obnoxious hide. Which is what we need to talk about." She said as she set aside her bag and coat. "How long until this annoying mood swing stops and I finish this evolution?"

"Five minutes. Or ten years. OR never." He said. "Strange, how humans muck things up. Your human part is unpredictable, liable to rouse its head at the least inopportune time. So whenever it finishes, it finishes. The quicker you kill off your soul, the quicker it will be. That means ridding yourself of all parts of your human life. John. His children. All his children."

"Well I am not going to just kill my own son. " She said. "The rest I can deal with. I just plan to enjoy that particular process." She said. "I need to slow those boys down. I want them to make it back in time to save him, but too late to save themselves. If anything will break John, that will be it. Sam being what he is especially."

"If you knew the whole picture, that would be so much easier to do." He said. But he knew what John Winchester had done to his oldest boy. Which was why Sam as yet had been untouched. Because of that one, small, supposedly inconsequential thing. "But you don't." And because it was based in nature, so much harder to undo, or circumvent. It would take years of gnawing away at it in little ways.

"So why don't you enlighten me?" She asked folding her arms across her chest. "I suppose being cryptic is in my future as well as insubstantial and generally bad tempered. "

"The child is touched." He said. "Not the same way Samuel is, not nearly. But y our human half recognized something in the child that agreed to set him out on this little adventure of his, or you would still be struggling with it. Samuel can't get the water...though he is innocent. But Dean can. Strange isn't it? Why don't you ask John? He's the one who did it."

"It has something to do with an Indian ritual, I am thinking." She said. "Given Amos's reaction to him." Maggie said. "For now, I think I will leave John alone with Jack for a while. I'm sure I can come up with something to do while he sits there and ponders his fate."

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Jack once more came out of the room rubbing his eyes. John was there, so he was sure his mom had to be there somewhere too. "Mom?" He called out and headed for the kitchen. "Mommy?" He called again, not finding her there.

"Your mom is running some errands." John said, not turning around. He was still standing by the window, and he'd continue to stand at the window until Dean and Sam were back. "She told me to tell you to work on your reading. Go to bed at eight." When Dean was six, after all, he was putting himself to bed.

Jack went to get his school books and sat down at the table. He was a good boy and tried to always do what he was told. "Can you help me with the big words?" He asked. No matter what Dean said he knew his father didn't like him. He wouldn't even look at him. But Jack couldn't help but try. He was social by nature and liked to be liked just as much if not more than everyone else. But it just seemed all the more important that his own father like him.

"Spell them out." John said. "I'm on sentinel duty." He said, and realized Jack probably wouldn't understand that military jargon. "When troops go out, someone stands guard until they come back." He explained. "In another life, I was a soldier."

"Mommy had another life too. She said she used to be one of …" he didn't say bad men. "One of the people that hunted things. " He opened his book and began to read aloud. Reading silently wasn't something he was ready for so he read aloud, occasionally asking about the bigger words he couldn't quite sound out until his stomach growled. "John?" He asked, since his father hadn't told him he could call him Dad, he had said to call him John. So that was what he would call him. "When's dinner?" He asked.

He was not giving up his post. Dammit he was not going to give up his post. He couldn't do that, not with them out there, somewhere. Probably cold (or hot), and hungry themselves. Thirsty. Scared. Maybe hurt. And all he could do was stand there. It seemed like such a small thing, and it was. It was a small thing, but it wasn't one he was willing to bend on. "There are left overs in the fridge." He said. "Put them in the microwave for one minute, high."

Jack went to the kitchen and very carefully did as instructed, bringing back one plate for himself and setting it on the table, then going and getting another one and taking it to John. "Here's yours." He said, still desperate to please. It left an empty feeling inside that he couldn't explain that his father didn't want him. Maybe if he did something special or impressive or proved that he wasn't a baby the man might change his mind.

"Thanks." John said. "Jack," he'd always been brutally honest with his boys. Maybe not about everything, but when he chose to be he was. "It's not you. It's me. Something bit me last night, I'm not doing too good with that. And Dean and Sammy are out there and I can't help them. All I can do is stand here...and wait. So that's what I'm going to do because it's all I can do."

Jack nodded and went to get a chair from the dining room. He set his plate on it and pulled it over to the window. He picked it up and climbed into the chair. He would wait too.

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Sam was certain they had been walking for days, but finally the light was closer, and larger. They were being followed, even though they hadn't seen anything, they could hear it. Scuttling noises, howling in the distance, but not the sort that would come from any animal. Sam didn't know what they were going to use for a beacon to get home again, and that scared him. But he didn't say anything to Dean. That wasn't his worry at the moment. Dean's only thought was saving their dad. He didn't blame him. Sam thought it made Dean a hero like his Dad. But Sam wasn't a hero. He was a tired, scared little boy pretending to be as brave as his brother.

Dean was moving his position constantly. Trying to keep himself between the scuttling and Sam as they got closer to the light. It was starting to get warmer, or maybe they'd just been moving for too long, they had their sweatshirts tied around them, and Dean wiped sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. Almost there. Then they had to walk back. And not lose what they were bringing.

Yeah, this had been a bright idea. This was probably the brightest idea that Dean had had, in a string of bright ideas spanning thirteen years.

He wasn't as brave as Sam thought he was. He was just stubborn. He'd started this, he'd finish it. Because he had to. Because he couldn't drag Sam across a wasteland for nothing. Because he couldn't return to Maggie's house with nothing and then watch their father change, then die. Because if he kept moving, if he kept going, what he was scared of would be over, one way or another. He just had to keep moving as they crossed the arid plain.

Not only was it getting warmer, it was getting lighter, the closer they got until the light was a beacon, shooting upwards, almost blindingly. It made Sam's eyes ache, and he had to squint a little to see the structure before them. But it was beautiful. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Ottoman styled architecture, not that he would know what to call it, and. it glowed. The light that came off of it was pure and warm, and he somehow knew that it wasn't so much light as lack of darkness, it was purity that he was looking at.

"Oooh Dean." He said stepping closer.

The scuttling and other sounds faded into the darkness, as if they were afraid of the light that Dean and Sam were walking into. He admitted that it was pretty impressive. Regal and majestic even as he grabbed his brother's hand and started up the stairs to the structure. There was water in there, and he had to find it. "Come on, we're halfway home now." He said. For this was the goal. Then they'd turn around and go back. That made this the halfway mark.

The only down side to it being the half way mark was that they were going to have to spend just as long getting back as they had getting there. But at least that meant the end was in sight. So Sam let his brother pull him up the stairs even though the place made him uncomfortable. He let him pull him as far as the door and then slammed against an invisible barrier with an audible thud even as Dean passed right through it.

"Sam?" Dean said, looking back at his brother. "Come on." And he watched as Sam tried again, and heard the thud. "Fuck." He said, figuring it was a one person only thing, not thinking it had anything to do with Sam personally. "Okay." He said, going back through the barrier to Sam's side. "I'll be five minutes tops. Here's a knife. Here's a gun. Just shoot it, I'll come back." But without the water, this would all be a waste.

"Okay… just hurry Dean." Sammy said as he looked around anxiously. There weren't any of the things in the light that had been following them in the darkness but at the same time the shadows cast were darker here, and that seemed dangerous to him some how. He didn't know why.

Dean nodded and took off toward the sound of running water. Everything around him was gold and silver, nearly blinding. If he had been older, he might have taken a second look at the opulent wealth around him, candy dishes filled with rubies and emeralds, gold chains just hanging off walls. But he didn't glance at them as he ran toward the water.

He found it, a simple spring in the middle of a room. A room that promptly burst into flames, and he was thrown back to his early childhood, seeing his brother's nursery burst into flames with their mother inside it. A nursery Dad had come out of after it burst into flames. Shaking, he took a deep breath.

And walked through the fire with his eyes closed.

His hair was singed, his clothes were covered in ash, but he made it through to the spring, where he took his back pack off and grabbed the marked water bottle to fill up with the water, capping it tightly. The bottle glowed and when he turned around, the fire was gone.

Shaking off the eerie feeling, he ran back toward Sam.

Sam was waiting for him there anxiously. He had paced back and forth in front of the door, worried for his brother, but worried for himself as well. He could see things moving in the distance. As though someone had rung the dinner bell.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam was waiting for him there anxiously. He had paced back and forth in front of the door, worried for his brother, but worried for himself as well. He could see things moving in the distance. As though someone had rung the dinner bell.

"Come on!" Dean said, bursting through the barrier with the bottle in hand. Which was still glowing like the brightest beacon off the top of a light house. He knew it would draw everything toward them, so they had to run. And not stop. No matter what, they couldn't stop.

Sammy grabbed onto Dean's free hand and ran along side of him even though his legs wanted to do anything but run right then. He had gotten used to the walking. His feet had toughened up and he wasn't getting anymore blisters, but running was an entirely different prospect. But he ran. He ran because Dean was running. He ran because the things in the darkness were growling, and he suspected the only thing that would keep them back was the precious water that Dean carried in his hands, and even that he wasn't sure would be enough the further they ran from the source of light.

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Maggie looked over at John. "You should rest. " She told him, although she didn't really care if he did or not. It was all a matter of keeping up appearances now. She loved watching the light fade in his eyes with the setting sun every night. Knowing that it would be another night alone in the dark, in the cold, for his precious sons. Knowing that it was all because of him. How he had raised them, how he had gotten careless in the fight with the shape shifter. She imagined he would crumble long before the infection in his blood turned him into a monster.

"Shut up." John growled. Jack might have been persuaded to leave his post, but John wouldn't. He'd been awake for three days already. He could stay awake until they got back, basically fasting, drinking and eating only a little of what had been brought to him. "They're not resting, so I'm not." He said firmly. "And don't pretend you care. You might have Jack fooled, but you don't have me fooled, Maggie."

Ben watched from the shadows, where he had been since Maggie had first left. He wasn't the sort of demon that needed sleep. He liked to sleep, but he didn't need it. Anymore than he had to eat whenever humans ate. He was watching Maggie. He'd known from the moment he met her that it would only be a matter of time, and now time was up.

"Hmmmm. Sleep deprivation does wonders for your personality, John, or is it time to lock you in a cage until they get back? Never know how fast something like that is going to take hold." She said, not bothering to argue about whether or not she cared because right now, she didn't. That would probably change in a little while but she hoped it didn't.

"Why are you still talking?" John asked, shaking his head. Anything he might have ever felt for this woman easily sliding away into dust. Her whole attitude made sure of that. And for that, he was glad. "You have nothing to say that I want to hear. Unless it includes the words 'Dean and Sam are back' or 'you know what, I'll go get them.'"

"Oh they don't need me. Dean has Sam with him." She told him. "And two of my kind on this sort of quest is just over kill, don't you think? I wonder if he has found his abilities yet, or if he is too busy hiding behind big ole brother bear to test them out." She had gone back to the old man. It wasn't hard to get the information out of him on what was done to Dean. Too bad he died in the process. She was sure there was more to get out of him about that sort of magic, if his heart had held out.

John cut Maggie a look that if he weren't human, probably would have killed. He didn't have too much fear of Sam coming back from this. It was Dean he was worried about, because he knew Dean would throw himself into harm's way for his brother. It was who John had molded him to be. But it was far too soon for Dean to pay that kind of price, far too soon. If ever. "Someone has to stop Sam from turning into you." He said flatly, turning his attention back to the outside.

She laughed then. "Stop him from turning into me." She said as though that were the funniest thing she had ever heard. "Oh John, you said it yourself so long ago. It's all just a matter of time. You remember that don't you? When you tossed me out of the hotel room, out of your life, hell you tossed me out of my own life. " She added and shook her head. "My own parents wouldn't even speak to me anymore because of you… well my mortal ones anyway. But Sam you think there is hope for? You are such an idiot. You didn't twist Dean to save Sammy's soul, you twisted him to so that in the end he could do what you aren't man enough to do. You couldn't kill me, so you sure as hell couldn't kill someone you actually give a damn about. So you are leaving Dean to do it. "

"When I want your opinion, I'll ask you for it." John said quietly. "I didn't 'twist' Dean. I amplified something that was already there. He'll save Sammy. Because no one else can. And your kind can't

kill him now before he can. That's all I did. I'm protecting my sons. That's what a father does, regardless of your opinions on how I did it. Real question is are you protecting yours? Floating around in the darkness like that, if he's as mortal and human as you say, he won't be able to live like this." She wanted to touch his nerves, he'd rattle hers.

"Hunters can't touch him here. I am protecting him. Until they give up again. This is where we will stay. Until your hounds give up the scent. One of those boys is going to have to kill the other to survive one day. You know that, don't you? Which do you think it will be? Sammy or Dean ? Cain and Abel are going to have nothing on these two I guarantee it. "

"Keep talking, Maggie. I'm not giving up my post to spare you any more attention than I already have." John said in a bored tone. "Sammy and Dean will be fine. As soon as I get them out of here. Was this a little test of yours? Leaving the book out like that. To see how dark Sammy is? Just how pure Dean is? They've always exceeded expectations you know. They won't disappoint this time. They'll come through this just fine. And I'll laugh at you. Does Jack know that you plan to kill his brothers? The brothers you were so insistent on him meeting and learning to like?"

"Oh I'm not going to kill them John. Especially not if they manage to survive a hundred miles of wasteland with god only knows what on their trail all the way home. No… I can make sure they don't kill each other. Of course the only way to do that is to lead them both down a dark path. Otherwise … someone is going to die… probably both. They are a bit on the codependent side, can't have one with out the other."

John laughed at that. "You can't turn Dean. Ritual worked for a reason." He said.

Ben shook his head and slid to Jack's room. "Come on, kiddo." He said softly. "We gotta go on a trip. Now." He was already packing things Jack couldn't do without. A few changes of clothes. His tiger.

Jack rubbed his eyes, "Did the bad men find us?" He asked his guardian demon, in equally soft tones. Ben's protective streak was something he didn't realize was a strange concept. He just knew Ben took care of him when his mom couldn't.

"I'll explain it all later." Ben said, not sure how to tell a six year old that his mother was a shadow and he'd never be safe with his father. But hopefully later he'd find the words as he gathered Jack into his arms and slid to a nice sunny, warm place. Shadows had their place, and they could be comforting. But he was a fiery demon. He liked heat.

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Sam was terrified. He had thought Maggie was horrific but right then he longed to be back at her place, listening to her insane drivel about their father's parenting skills. He wanted their father. He wanted bright lights and hot cocoa and a soft bed. Most of all he wanted to be anywhere away from the things following them, skirting around them, as though waiting for the light Dean carried to go out.

Some of them looked like people. Or like they had been people once. They reminded him of that weird painting he had seen once while on a field trip to a museum. With the guy on the bridge screaming in terror. Or the weird guy at the beginning of a Christmas carol, only with out the chains. It was like they were ghosts, only with bodies.

"Don't look, Sammy. Don't look." Dean kept repeating. He wasn't looking. He was just driving straight ahead. He was tired, he was sore, he was hungry and he was getting cold again. He could just imagine how the younger boy was doing.

One of the things tired of waiting for the light to go out and jumped on Dean, knocking him down as he scrambled to hold onto the bottle, taking Sam down with him. Because dammit, he was going to stay between him and the things in the endless night. His head hurt, he was sure he was bleeding, and everything was a little fuzzy now.

Sam scrambled out from under his brother, picking up the nearest rock and throwing it as hard as he could at the things head, then another, and another until it backed off into the darkness. "Dean? Are you okay? Dean?" He asked as he started to look his brother over. Then picked up another rock and threw it out into the darkness in absolute rage at something touching his brother.

"I'm fine, I'm good." Dean lied as he got to his feet, still clutching the bottle. "Come on." He said. He'd get there. He'd get his brother out of here because he had to. Because there was no other choice, no other option. He grabbed Sam's hand and brought the other one up to staunch the bleeding in his head, the light from behind his head (since that was the hand that held the bottle) casting a long shadow. "I'll be a whole lot better once we're back. And then when Dad gets us the hell out of there."

Sam nodded and kept moving. He was so tired but he kept moving, this time keeping a watch out around them. He carried a rock in one hand still. His legs were so tired now, they had walked through their normal sleep period, he was sure. His own steps were stumbling nearly as much as his brothers but he needed to get Dean home, as much as they needed to save their father, Sam needed to save Dean. Dean was hurt and this was no place to be hurt.

Dean couldn't remember the last time he slept, and that's all he wanted to do now. Sleep. Make the pounding in his head go away by slipping into unconsciousness. And if he was lucky, he'd have a really great dream to go along with it. Something involving blondes. And maybe a red head and a brunette too. He was an equal opportunity guy. He just needed the opportunity. Which wasn't going to happen here as he kept his legs moving. He couldn't feel them, but he was going to keep going until he dropped.

"Almost there, Sammy." He assured his brother. They were at least closer than they were an hour ago.

"I know, Dean." He said, although he figured they had another day or two of walking left to do, and those things were always skittering about, and then there was the flapping overhead. That one scared Sammy the most. He couldn't see them, until it was too late, and he didn't know what he would do if they swooped in to take Dean or the light he carried.

They slept in spurts. Dean lost track of time, lost track of days. He had no idea how long they'd been there, or how long he had slept at any one point. Clutching the water bottle filled with light, it was so hard to come back to consciousness, and a large part didn't want to.

He'd dreamt of his mother one time, all golden light, unlike the silvery light he held. Back when he was younger, replaying one of the few intact whole memories he had of her. Sometimes it was almost like she was slipping away from him, when he really could have used her the most.

But he stumbled to his feet when Sam woke him up, eyes bleary. But at least his head had stopped bleeding.

Dean was up and moving again, and Sam was grateful. He was out of rocks and didn't dare slip out of the circle of light to find more. The flapping sound from above had gotten closer. He had made out a claw big enough to grab him up around the middle if it had gotten into the light. It hadn't, but Sam had been scared enough to throw rocks at it, to make it go away. Didn't work really but it made him feel less helpless to do it.

They continued onward in the darkness until Sam thought he would go mad from it. But then he thought he saw something in the distance. "Dean, Dean, hide the light for a minute." He said in an excited tone. He thought he saw a faint glimmer of light in the distance, something that paled in comparison to the beacon they had sought in the beginning. But it could be home… or at least their way out of this hellish place.

Dean shoved the bottle up his shirt and turned a bit to block the light. Squinting blurry eyes, he could see it also. "Thank fuck." Dean said with a heavy sigh. "Come on, we can do this. Then we're sleeping for, like, a week." They'd definitely earned it. "Just a bit further, see, I told you. We can do this." He was psyching his brother up for the final haul, but also himself. Because he was just so...tired...he stumbled, but managed to stay on his feet and keep going, even if his legs felt like jelly, his head was pounding again, and his hands felt like big blocks of clay as they held the bottle. But he wasn't letting go, even if he had to look down to make sure his grip was still good.

One hand on the bottle, the other holding Sam's, holding it to the bottle. Because the light seemed to be keeping them safe. If Sam stayed in the light with Dean, it was less he had to worry about.

Sam hurried onward, this time all but dragging Dean along with him. Light was hope, light was John… light, while not entirely safe, was not the darkness and you could see the evil that was coming for you. Light meant Dean would be alright. "We're here!" He exclaimed and stepped through the trees into the light of day, even if it was the illusion of it, "Dean?" He said, horrified at the sudden pull on his hand. He turned around and saw Dean laying face down on the ground on the other side of the hedge, the precious light on this side with Sam. "Dean!" He yelled and grabbed his brother's hand and started pulling frantically, inching his brother across the line into the light "Dean wake up!!" He looked over his shoulder. "DAD!" He all but shrieked, feeling something tug at his brother from the other side.

John looked and had to rub his exhausted eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things. Things his eyes wanted to see, had been straining to see for days. But he was out the door like a rocket, his speed belying just how tired he was as he crossed the yard to Sam, seeing Dean's hand sticking out of the barrier. "I got him." He said to Sam, wrapping his large hands around his oldest son's wrist and started yanking, pulling for dear life. Against heavy resistance until Dean's unconscious form finally crossed the barrier and the barrier shut down once more, invisible again. "Dean!" John said, picking his teen aged son up. "Come on." He said to Sam. Get Dean in the house, check him over, check Sam over...

Sam grabbed the bottle, still glowing brightly but its brightness was somewhat diminished in the light of day, but not the stinging sensation that came with it as Sam picked it up. He hurriedly told his Dad the entire story, what they had found, how they had gotten it there and back. How Dean had been hurt. "But we got it Dad… We brought it back. It was all Dean could think about the whole time. Not how tired he was or how much it hurt to keep going, but that we had to get back to you."

John nodded as he carried Dean back into the house and laid him on the bed. "All right." He said. "Sam, are you hurt? Tell me right now if you're hurt." He said as he felt Dean's head, his fingers finding the crusted blood. Had he gotten back days earlier, he could have gotten stitches. But it was too late now, so he just wrapped Dean's head and placed an ice pack under it. And Sam was watching him, with the damn bottle. So with a sigh, he took the bottle and drank it.

Sam relaxed then and almost couldn't keep standing. So he crawled into the bed beside his brother and wrapped his arm around him. "We did it Dean… we did it." He told his brother, then rested his head on Dean's shoulder. "We love you, Dad." He told his father as his eyes were closing. It was the truth. More deeply true than any of the three of them realized, but it was Dean he clung to in those moments. Dean he wanted.

John didn't feel any differently after drinking the water. Just...warm. But he took off his sons' shoes and checked their feet, bandaging broken blisters, wrapping scrapes and cuts. He'd found a bottle of Vicks Vapo-Rub, it would work in a pinch as a muscle soother, and after what Sam told him, after how far they'd walked and ran, they'd need it. Soon the room reeked of eucalyptus, but the boys still slept. Sam in that nice deep sleep soft snore he often got. Dean, he would check his pupils, raising eyelids between his forefinger and his thumb. He had a concussion, one didn't take a blow to the head like that and not have one. He needed to get them out of here, somewhere safe.

He stood up, once his look over was done, and covered them with a few blankets. Sam had described the wasteland as cold, the warmth from the blankets would be good. And looked at Mary's two sons. They should be fighting over the remote and delaying homework. Not this. Never this.

"I love you both. I really do." John said, with melancholy in his tone. Because he knew he had a funny way of showing it.

Maggie was in fine form. "Once I find that flaming son of a bitch, there won't be enough left of him to light a match." She growled as she returned to her home in the shadows. She could feel the difference. Could tell that the LIGHT had been there, so it wasn't exactly a stretch of the imagination to sort out where John was. She was surprised to see both boys still alive, although she knew she shouldn't be. "Well, now that they are back perhaps you will finally get around to that shower." She said as she leaned against the door frame.

"Doubtful. Would hate to leave them like this around you." He said, still sitting on the edge of the bed, smoothing the blankets over his sleeping sons. "So I take it Ben has Jack? Figured. Smart demon, ain't he?"

She hit him for that one. "Jack doesn't matter to you at all, does he? All your talk about keeping your children safe, but Jack isn't even a real person to you at all." She stepped up to him. "I don't think these children are real either. They are nothing but an extension of your dead wife."

"You're wrong. Jack wouldn't be safe with me. Me you could find. Ben? You can't find him, or you would have already. And you're not exactly his mother anymore, are you?" John responded. "And I wouldn't hit me again. Or I'll show you exactly what I'll do to keep my children safe now that our deal is off."

"What is it you think you can do John? Shove me the rest of the way into darkness? Trap yourself here for the rest of your miserable lives… which won't be long really since the food would run out eventually. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants, to have those boys go through so much to save you only to die here because their father doesn't know when to not piss people off."

John's jaw twitched. Then he hit her back. Which he was able to do for the moment because of the

water. Even with her in shadows. "Thought I told you not to threaten my sons. And you wonder why Ben made off with Jack."

She lifted him from the floor and slammed him into the wall "Ever wonder how your wife felt John? Looking down at her sleeping son, knowing that she was going to die. Knowing that you weren't going to save her." She said as she pushed him up the wall. "You are going to have to realize that you are not in control John. You aren't. I am . Because even if I were to leave right now and never return… you can't escape, except into the wasteland… and there is no escape from that."

"You think you're the only one that can touch nerves, Maggie? If Jack's gone, it's your fault, not mine." John said. "Or are you pissed that your big plan to destroy my two oldest failed miserably?" He said as he slid up the wall. "You're not in control. Of this situation, of me, of yourself. Even if you kill me right now it's because of lack of control."

"The question you need to ask yourself, John, is does it matter?" She said as she moved him up to the ceiling. "Never understood his fixation with this angle. Maybe it's the whole looking at your vulnerable children as you die… but John… do you want to die? You would be willing to sacrifice yourself for them in a fight, willing to just hand yourself over for death I am sure… but can you behave for them? Look at them, John. Sleeping little angels, sleeping in exhaustion because of all they were willing to sacrifice for you. And you can't even do something as simple as behave. How sad is that?"

"Behave? You don't want me to behave. You want me to be a good little lap dog." John sneered. And with some effort, he was able to get off the ceiling, twisting himself in the air to break his fall. He brushed himself off and stood up. "I'm not that kind of man, Maggie. You need to find another pet." Right now, she couldn't hurt him. Either because of the water or because she couldn't bring herself to. "Bring us back home. Because you really don't want my boys after you."

"Ah… Lucifer's sin. Pride. Your pride is more important to you than your sons. That is quite sad really. And those boys are no threat to me. I can't be destroyed John. Not now. Not since they failed the first time. All death is for me is a transformation. " Her eyes glinted blue. "Them … it's a little permanent."

"You can be destroyed. You're only half. Just half. You're still human where it counts, mortality." John said. He knew that from his research. It was just the method that was eluding him. He laid down next to his sons, nudging Sam over a bit to accomodate his larger, broader form.

"Not for long." The entity that had once been Maggie said with a slow smile. "Not for long."

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Jack folded his arms and set his little jaw. "But if my mom is dead they are stuck there." He insisted. "They'll come back to save my dad and they'll all be stuck there forever." He wasn't going to let this go. He liked his brothers, and really wanted to like his Dad and even if he hadn't he wouldn't want them trapped there forever and ever.

Ben was trying to enjoy his beach. He really was. It was a beautiful place. There was a village nearby where Jack would go to school, like other kids, but right now, Ben was in a hammock just enjoying the heat. But Jack wouldn't stop. Finally Ben groaned.

"I'm sure they'll figure out a way." Ben said. "Your father is a very resourceful man." He said and went back to enjoying his sun. But Jack still wouldn't stop. Finally he sat up. "Fine." He said. "Remember the woman we met yesterday next door?" A grandmotherly type who had been convinced that Ben was an uncle who had taken in his nephew after his sister died. The easiest explanation around. "Go see if she's made anything good to eat."

"And you'll make sure they are okay?" Jack asked, looking up at Ben with his head tilted a little to the side as though he were certain he could see if the man were lying just by watching him talk.

"You're a brat." Ben said with a shake of his head. "Yeah, they'll make it back to their place safe and sound." He could even do a few things to keep Maggie off their trail for a bit. Wouldn't be too hard. She was powerful, but he was a whole other kind of creature.

Jack leapt up and hugged Ben. He missed his mom. Had cried himself to sleep the first couple of days. He wasn't really okay with it now but he was better than he had been, and he knew that Ben would take care of him even if his father didn't want him because his mom was part Demon. He kissed Ben on the cheek and hurried out the door to go see the neighbor lady. He hoped there would be cookies.

Ben shook his head as Jack scampered off and went into the house. There, he slid into Maggie's house, where Maggie was still taunting John. And stayed in the shadows. Though he was suprised that Dean and Sam were still alive. They were just kids, even if one of them was nephalim, they both should, by all rights and logic, be dead. He waited until Maggie left and stepped out of the shadows.

"You ready to go home, or do you want to wait for her to come back so we can have a three way argument?" Ben asked John, gathering what he had packed for his sons before.

It was on John's tongue to ask what was in it for Ben, but he knew if he did, then he could get stuck into making a bargain. "Where's the other boy?" He asked as he got up and gathered Dean into his arms. "Sammy, time to wake up son, we're going home."

"He's safe. Where neither you nor Maggie can find him." Ben said, folding his arms across his chest as he leaned against a wall. "That's for the best, don't you think? You're both too broken. Maybe they don't notice," gesturing to Dean and Sam, "or maybe they do. Not my concern. But Jack is safe. That's all that matters to me. What matters to him is that I get you three to safety before something happens. Let's go before I think of a reason to change my mind."

"Good." He said, thinking that was probably the best possible thing for Jack. He wasn't going to argue his parenting practices with a demon of all people, but Jack was safe, and soon his boys were going to be. He told Ben where he needed to be, and bent awkwardly to pick up the not entirely awake Sammy as well. "Trust me I want to be out of here ASAP."

"Good. Glad to see you're not an insufferable bastard to every demon you meet." Ben said with a roll of his eyes as he slid the three Winchesters and their belongings to the small rental house. "Okay, I can cover your tracks for a month. After that, you're on your own, but she probably won't bother with you too much. She'll be too busy trying to find me for a bit."

"Don't let her have him. " John said, actually concerned, and it showed. "She'll take it out on him the darker she gets. He's a Winchester . " He said as he eased the boys into the Impala and tossed the bags into the trunk.

"I don't plan on letting her near him." Ben said. "Take care of them. Jack might want to meet them again." He said and slid back to the house to wait for Maggie. The demon hell cat couldn't hurt him, and they both knew that.

Maggie was in a fine rage when Ben appeared. "Where's my son?" She demanded, for the moment forgetting about John. It wouldn't last long. Her humanity was a thing of the past, an old out grown habit of worrying for the child and nothing more.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, Maggie." Ben said, lighting a cigarette and finding the alcohol. "Don't worry about Jack anymore. I've got him, he's safe. And the kicker of it is, you can't even track me. Shit, you can't even hurt me. This isn't like terrorizing Winchester , because you know you can't beat me. How's it feel? That you can't hurt me, but you know I can hurt you. I could kill you." But he wouldn't. Not until Maggie did something against him. Because he had his own code of honor where that was concerned. He left everyone alone as long as they left him alone.

"Why are you doing this? Just bring my son home and we will move on with our lives. You don't want a child to raise, Ben. That's not your style."

"Well, it wasn't what I had planned, that's for sure." Ben said with a shrug. "But plans change. You planned to stay human and raise your son. Did real well with it for a while. Then you went ahead and disregarded everything I've taught you that demons CAN be neutral and just go along their own way. Stay off the radar. Live a real life. You have nothing to offer Jack, and as far as he knows, you're dead. Killed by your father in fact. That should, at least, keep him in the light. So he can't follow you." For he knew so very well that humans could be so much worse than demons when it came to darkness. "Wow...weren't you just bragging to Winchester about all that control you had? Where'd it go, Maggie? Where'd it go?"

"It's dying with this body." She said in a derisive tone. "I'll be able to wriggle into another one soon enough. Then things will be back to normal. You are a demon, Ben. A true honest to god Demon. I'm not, not like you… I'm going to become something completely different. I'm becoming like my father and it's not something that can be stopped. Not by anyone. And you want to pick a fight in my own domain? Are you sucidal?" She asked as she shoved him with her powers. "Get out of my house. And you bring me my child once I have a body again. "

He shoved her back with his own, fire filling the room. "Do not use your parlor tricks on me, girl." He snapped as he grabbed her and shoved her against the wall, lifting her up to look in her face. "It doesn't matter if you have a body, or are just smoke. You are out of your league with me and you know it. Your domain doesn't mean shit to me. And you will NOT have Jack. He's going to have a real life that even when you were human you couldn't give him. I AM different from you. I pick my fights wisely."

Maggie erupted into nothing but shadow and smoke to escape his grasp. "I didn't pick this fight." She said as she swirled around him, suffocating the flames near her, even as she shrunk from the light produced by the larger flames. Her transformation wasn't complete yet. "You stole my son… and you stole my toys didn't you?"

"You bet I did. What are you going to do about it? I don't give a shit if you go after them now, I kept my promise to Jack." Ben said, getting back in her face as the fire continued to rise around them in bright spindles of light. Everything burst into flames around him as his own eyes burned an eerie green. "I'm warning you, Maggie. I don't want to kill you. I tolerate you. But I will."

Maggie's eyes glowed in reflection of the flames, then what was left of her mortal form, her humanity exploded into swirling tendrils of oily, inky smoke. "Your promises are going to get you killed one day, Ben. You really need to watch that." She said and swirled up toward the ceiling, leaving the flames and Ben far behind.


	10. Chapter 10

Three years later...

John took another swig of the tequila, wincing as Dean stitched up a knife wound on his back. Damn spirit started throwing knives. He was doing good until the final one. But at least that was done, burned and salted. One more laid to rest.

And he was no closer to the yellow eyed demon than he had been before. Didn't stop him from searching, from researching. At dragging his boys across the country back and forth.

He supposed it was harder on Sammy, having to uproot all the time. Dean, he flourished. Half the time he couldn't wait to leave, but usually by that time his mouth had gotten him in trouble or he had hit on the wrong girl.

And neither remembered, thank god.

Dean, when he'd finally awoken, couldn't remember even being taken. His head had been hit hard enough to wipe it clean away. Sam, he and Bobby...well...they'd given him drugs and basically hypnotized him into believing it was all a very bad dream. He'd been young enough that it had worked.

John was fine. He looked over his shoulder for Maggie a lot. But less now. And sometimes he couldn't help but see his youngest in perfect strangers. But if Maggie couldn't find Ben, he knew he didn't stand a chance. And it was safer for Jack anyway.

Twelve wasn't such a bad age to be. He could go and do things on his own now. Usually that meant heading to the library, he wasn't as quick to make friends as Dean. So when he did, it hurt more to leave them behind. He would lie and make up stories and write letters to some of them. Stories about how his dad was working at a great job, how he was in the band that year or was thinking about playing foot ball or soccer or something else normal and mundane. Dean had his own life going now, girls, doing odd jobs to make money to support Girls… and he was getting his driver's license that weekend. Sam knew about the surprise their father had for him if he passed the test, and he was excited about it, so he was glad that Dean had things to do to keep him busy other wise Sam could never have kept it a secret.

Sam delivered papers in the mornings before going to school. It was something he could ditch easily if they had to move again. But that kept Sammy in his own habits. Movies and books. Although he didn't buy much in the way of books. They took up too much space in the Impala when they had to move. There was a small library in the shopping mall across the street from the pay by week hotel they were living in. It was right next door to the pet store too, so he would spend his free time there. Go to see the occasional movie (comedy was his favorite but action was good too), check out a few books, then stop by the pet store to play with the puppies in the window. All of which he did on his own. Careful to be home by 6 when his father came home, Both boys were there when John got off work, and working on dinner. It was the routine and Sam didn't mind.

"There you go." Dean said, handing his father his shirt. Caleb had taught him how to suture, and it was something he was doing a lot of, he had to say. Saved visits to the ER where questions would be asked. "Still don't see why I need to take a road test, I've been driving since I was ten."

"Because I said so." John said. Because it was the one rite of passage he could give his boys. He had no fear of Dean failing the test, he was a good driver. And an even better defensive/offensive driver. All he needed to do was drive in a straight line and parallel park, it would be a breeze.

Sam came in the door at 5 minutes to 6. "Dad, you're back!" He said as he set aside his school books, library books, and took off his coat that was now covered in dog and cat hair. He looked his father over quickly with a practiced eye. One wound. Okay, all was well with the world still, no signs of packing, no signs of gearing up to go out again. "Got it I see."

"That I did." John said and sat back as the boys worked on throwing dinner together. And proceeded to tell them all about the hunt. Sounded like story time to a casual listener, a 'what I did today' type of thing. But it was training. They had to be trained for what they were facing, because they knew what was out there. Just like he did. And it was something he could pass onto both his sons, since Sam showed no interest in cars, much to John's dismay.

Dean on the other hand, could put together a carburetor nearly as well as he could. So whenever John got a temp job in a garage, Dean usually got a job as well. Both his boys had a good work ethic, in spite of the lifestyle they were leading.

Sam asked questions, he knew it was training, but at the same time it was cool. It was absolutely cool what his father did. He was a hero. Sam didn't want to be that sort of hero, but it was amazingly cool that his father was, and that his brother was going to be one day. "So we have this school dance coming up next week and they want me to help with stuff. It's on Friday and I wouldn't be home until after 9 that day…" he said looking between his father and his brother, wondering which one would say no first. It was frustrating but he had to try.

Dean cast a look at his father. "I'm working that night." He said. Which meant he wouldn't be able to keep an eye on Sam anyway. John sighed.

"Fine. Nine thirty at the latest you get to the garage." John said. "If he's not there, Dean, you go haul him out of wherever he is." Because even when he compromised, John's word was law.

"Really?" Sam asked, very much excited. "Thanks!" He said and hurried from the kitchen to the living room where he picked up the phone and started to dial. "Hello, Sir, can I speak with Carrie please?" He said into the phone.

John raised an eyebrow. " Carrie?" He asked Dean with an almost smile. So that was why he was so head up to go to a junior high dance.

"Yup. Carrie." Dean said with a grin himself, and a nod. It was good his brother was taking interest in girls, it was normal. Finally, something normal instead of all that reading and studying he always did. Which, granted, was why Sam got better grades than Dean did. Dean didn't see the point, he knew what he was going to do, and it didn't even require a high school diploma.

"Hmm." John said in a pleasantly surprised tone. Things were looking up for his middle son. He was starting to worry that Sam was being stunted socially. He guessed he could relax on that point. "You know anything about her? Are they… you know…boyfriend and girlfriend? Is this a first date situation here?" He really was interested in his sons' lives, and it was hard to have to sit here and ask Dean about Sam's life but there was so little time when he was home it seemed.

"You want me to spy on Sammy?" Dean asked with a chuckle as he handed John his plate. "Okay. She's the youngest of two children, blonde, I know they've gone to the arcade before. Think this might be a real date-date. Boyfriend-girlfriend? Dad, they're twelve. Sammy! Dinner." Not that it was an order to get off the phone, just a reminder to get it while it was warm or don't complain later.

John chuckled. "I don't know you had your first girlfriend at 13." He pointed out. "Not so different, 12 and 13. " He said, and let the subject drop as Sam came back into the room.

Dinner passed much as the preparation had, talking about their days, school, poltergeists, and the plans for the next week. Afterwards, John let the boys clean up while he started researching the next case

"So… is this one of those things I need to give her flowers for?" Sam asked his older brother. Dean was good with girls. He should know these things.

"Oh yeah." Dean said. "At twelve, well, it's more to make a good impression on the father." Later, it was to make a good impression on the girl, so other things were more likely to happen. But even twelve was too young to consciously plan that! "I don't know, the florist at the grocery store's a good one to ask, that's what I do when I need to do stuff like that. So Sammy's got a date, huh?"

Sam blushed but he was grinning from ear to ear. "Yeah. I have a date. I'm glad Dad didn't freak about me wanting to be out late. " Sometimes he thought his father thought that he was still 6. Although he had gotten a fair amount of training in the past three years. He could shoot almost as well as Dean, and was really good at sneaking into places now. Research was still what he was best at, because he looked at that as helping his father and brother do their hero thing. He never saw himself as the hero type at all. And that was fine with him.

"Well look at that. Sammy's growing up." Dean said with a chuckle as they did the dishes. He was in his pudgy phase right now, but it was good to see him branching out. Dean had never been pudgy. He had been scrawny. And shorter than everyone else. He'd broadened out, and though he'd never be a giant, had caught up to everyone else in his grade, finally. "Nah, I kinda knew he wouldn't." Because he knew John had been worried about Sam being a recluse or something. Like John, come to think of it. "Don't forget to stop by the garage so I can tease you mercilessly in front of the other guys."

"I won't forget. I gotta walk Carrie home after the dance but she only lives like 5 blocks from the school so that won't take me long. " He said. He had been surprised that she had said yes, to be honest. He wasn't the best looking guy in his class no matter how much he wished he was. Definitely wasn't popular. But she was kind of like him in a way. Sort of the outsider at school, although Sam had no idea why. She was absolutely beautiful as far as he was concerned. When she smiled it made everything seem a little brighter. And hey, you couldn't complain about a girl who liked to play video games.

"Just a warning, if you're going to kiss her, don't do it on the porch. Her father will most likely be on the other side of the door, and our father's not the only one who likes to keep his shotgun handy." Dean said with a laugh as he dried the last of the dishes and put them away.

"Dean!" He exclaimed and blushed deeply. "I'm not going to kiss her… at least not where anyone else would know." He added the last under his voice. He knew that you didn't kiss and tell and kissing where anyone else could see was the same thing as telling.

"Good man." Dean said with a laugh. "Come on, let's go see what Dad'll let us do tonight." Sometimes he took them on reconnaissance, other times it was weapons training. Either way, Dean thought it was a great time.

Sam nodded. "Yeah. I have homework but I can put it off a little while longer." He preferred the research, but he liked the weapons training. Better still the unarmed combat training. He had blown off his homework at the mall that day because Carrie had been there, and he wanted to have fun instead. Now he was going to have to pay for it. Somehow work in training, homework AND enough sleep before 5 when he had to get up to go get his papers to deliver for that morning.

Dean didn't have those kind of choices. Technically he did, but he just chose to not do the homework instead. Freed up more time for other things. Like Girls. The Hunt. Cars. Yeah, his life was quickly starting to circle in on three fixations, but he didn't see that as a bad thing.

But they went to the living room area where their father was modifying a couple of weapons. It was amazing what he could do with a simple rifle, really.

Sam sat down on the floor and watched his father work. Their relationship was so hit and miss. Sometimes they were close, and others it seemed like it was a race to see who would want to kill the other first. Lately they had been good. Sam liked where they were. It was comfortable, clean, and secure. He liked his school, had a friend that looked to be turning into a girlfriend, and his father was letting him have a little more freedom. Which was good since Dean wasn't always around to be his best friend anymore.

He saw the way Dean looked at his father. It was scary. Not in that something bad kind of way, but scary in that it was so powerful. The bond between Dean and their father was powerful. John was Dean's hero. Not his role model (he was that too) but his Hero. Superman didn't hold a candle to his father in Dean's eyes, and it was obvious. John was comfortable with Dean, and anyone who knew John Winchester knew how impressive that was. John wasn't comfortable with himself much less anyone else. Sam felt small in the face of that bond. Felt like he existed outside it all. He felt loved. He felt wanted and needed. But he felt small. When things weren't going well between them, Sam felt like an outsider looking in.

But things were good now, and he sat on the floor cross legged in front of his father. "Is there another hunt you are researching?" He asked taking out his book bag and opting to do his homework while talking to his father.

"I hope to hit it in two weeks. When the moon is right." John said and explained the phases of the moon and their effects on different aspects of the supernatural. How some things had to be timed right. How preparation was so important when your life was on the line, and those you were trying to protect. He didn't see much difference between what he did now, and what he did as a Marine. Of course, the USMC paid, and this didn't.

Dean watched his father, and listened, absorbing and committing to memory everything he heard. Unlike Sam, school never grabbed him. Whether or not he could calculate the area of an isosoles triangle was so small in the face of the rest of his life, when his father would take them on the hunt. Dean was more involved than Sam was, being older. But that grabbed him. The research, the weapons, the fight, the fact that at the end of the day, the world was a little bit safer because his father stood a post.

Sam listened as he did his homework. He was able to commit things to memory, what he figured he might forget he scribbled onto paper and tucked into the back of his notebook to put in his journal later. Two weeks was good. It meant he could still go to the dance, the hunt wasn't going to interfere with that. He asked questions about where his father had found the information and how he had put it all together. It wasn't that he was second guessing, he just wanted to know.

Sam had always wanted to know. Didn't matter what it was. Secrets, thought processes, feelings, nothing was safe from his curiosity.

At 9 he excused himself to call it a night. 5am came early. That was why he showered in the mornings. To get himself awake as much as clean.

Dean scrimped on sleep as much as he did homework, and slept through his classes anyway to catch up. So it was no surprise when he got lectured by a teacher after his last class on how science class wasn't for nap time. He figured though, unless they were discussing the chemical properties of salt and why it repels evil, he didn't really need to know. He already knew about combustibles from his father anyway. Covalent bonds held no interest.

So he headed to the garage and put on his coveralls. At least here he could lose himself for a bit before explaining to his dad why he had Saturday detention now. It was hard sometimes, with Sam being such a stellar student and Dean being such a screw up.

The van pulled into the garage parking lot and honked. They were supposed to make this as obvious a hit as possible. Make it look as though they were sending a message. They supposed they were. Just not one that was ever meant to be understood. So they drew as much attention to themselves as possible. It was a small town, there wouldn't be a cop around to interfere, they would be out of town before the cops ever had a chance to ask the first question. They honked once more, knowing that low man on the totem pole would be the one to come out to see what was needed.

"Yeah, yeah, hold your horses." Dean said, coming out, wiping his hands on a rag which he shoved into his back pocket. "What can I do for you?" He asked the man in the driver's seat as a couple of others got out of the sliding door on the other side. He waved off his boss, he had this, and his boss nodded and ducked back into the office.

"It's making a funny sound."

"Funnier than blaring your horn in the garage?" Dean asked.

The man made a face at him as the others grabbed him. Things got knocked over, bringing attention to them as his boss and a few other mechanics came out to see what was going on. But they didn't have a chance to help Dean as he was dragged kicking and punching into the plateless van, which peeled out of the garage.

The boss went to the phone and immediately called the police. John was on a parts run to another garage...they'd draw straws later to see who would tell him.

They drove the van out of town, all the while struggling to keep a thrashing Dean under control enough not to cause them to crash. They forced him to change clothes, completely, dressing in what they had brought for him, then bound his hands behind him. They didn't acknowledge his commentary, didn't even offer to shut his mouth for him. They didn't care what he had to say, didn't care how much he yelled or struggled. They just kept walking through the field toward the back road, and the waiting car. He was shoved into the floor boards of the back seat, and one of his abductors sat in the seat watching him.

They were ignoring his carefully crafted pithy one liners. They were basically ignoring him. And that bothered him. After all, kidnapping was supposed to be a highly personal thing, right? He'd been kidnapped before, just not like this. Well, maybe a little like this, but he was a lot younger then, younger than Sam actually. And they wouldn't let him see anything but the floor boards or the roof, and the man in the backseat with him was also ignoring him.

This sucked.

John returned with the parts from the warehouse and the mood was...off. Right behind him were the police. Which set off his antlers right away.

"Hey, where's Dean?" He asked jovially, ignoring the cops, ready to get his son out of there.

Marvin, his boss, stepped forward, basically being stuck with the duty by virtue of being in charge. "Now, John… there has been some trouble. Dean has…" he sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets uncomfortably as he shifted positions, "Dean has been kidnapped. Right here, right in front of the shop. We called the police right away but it happened so fast we didn't have a chance to get out here to him before they were in the van driving off."

Johns blood ran cold. "Did you see what they looked like?" He asked, **god not again, please not again. Not Maggie again. Why won't she just leave my boys alone.** He took out the cell phone, a new investment, since they were no longer clunky beasts and called the library. "Yes, I'm looking for my son." He said and gave a description. "Sam is there every day, is he there now?" He asked as he started to pace and his knees nearly gave way beneath him in relief hearing that his son was still there. "Tha- thank you… no." He said interrupting the woman's praise of his younger son. "No just tell him to stay put till I get there. It might be a while but stay put. Don't let him leave with anyone but me… Oh you'll know it's me. " He said and hung up.

He swore and lashed out at the nearest inanimate object, then leaned against it, running a hand down his face trying to sort out who could have done this if it weren't Maggie. This wasn't her style. She would have called him herself, shown up in the truck beside him with a lock of Dean's hair. He thought he was going to be sick… this was a human type attack, but there was no reason for a human to want his son.

John brushed off any words of possible comfort from his coworkers and stared through the police when they came to question him. His son had been taken. He had no idea where Dean was, or who would have taken him. Or why. No, Dean wouldn't run away. No, Dean wasn't mixed up in a bad crowd. And Dean absolutely did not do any drugs. He repeated the answers over and over, his voice becoming increasingly numb.

"Excuse me." He said at one point. "I have to get my other son." Before someone made off with him.

"Just a few more questions." The officer said, sizing John up. "Do you have any enemies yourself, Mr. Winchester?"

"No one that would want to take my boy." John lied. At least none of the human ones and those were the only ones the law would believe existed. "Hit on the wrong guy's wife sort of thing, not the sort of bastard that would take it out on a 16 year old boy." Not that John made a habit of hitting on married women but he had to throw them a bone. "Now my 12 year old is waiting for me at the library. I need to get him home… " He couldn't hide his emotions this time. Couldn't bring up the mask completely. It was this that made the officer decide to let the questioning go for now.

He double checked the address and phone number, then let John go on his way. He couldn't blame the man for wanting to protect the son he had left.

John wasted no time pulling up in front of the library, and stalking inside. Sam was standing at the counter with a pretty blonde girl, who smiled sweetly, at first, seeing John.

"Dad?" Sam asked. He couldn't remember ever seeing that expression on his fathers face before. He looked angry, but he also looked shaken. "What's wrong?"

"We'll talk in the car." John said curtly, and his younger son quickly told his girlfriend good bye and followed his father out the library doors

"Are we moving again?" Sam asked, thinking it was something to do with the last hunt. It always seemed to work that way. Just when he was starting to fit in, this would happen. "Did something follow you home?"

John said nothing as he got behind the wheel of the Impala. The car he was going to give over to Dean when he took his driving test… and closed his eyes and sighed, he didn't need a fight with Sam. Not now. "Dean's been kidnapped." He said bluntly as he started the car. When Sam started asking questions with that tone of voice there was no point in trying to ease into something, no point in beating around the bush he wouldn't hear anything you had to say.

Sam paled. "When? Who?" He asked swallowing hard. "Is… is she back?" He asked in an almost whisper.

"I don't know." Was all John could say as he pulled out of the parking lot.

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The car pulled onto a dirt road, it was easy to tell by the sound the tires made on the gravel. They traveled a little further and pulled into a building. Something Dean could only assume was a barn somewhere. This suspicion was confirmed as he was pulled from the back seat and taken up to the hay loft.

There were others standing there looking at him, as though he were some sort of zoo exhibit. "He'll do nicely." One of them said

"That's good to hear." Dean said, trying to rub his head. He was going to have a nice knot there, but he'd had worse. Hell, girls had given him worse. Punks. He looked around, he felt like he was in the middle of a circus, and everyone was waiting for him to do some sort of special act.

A man stepped forward. "You can call me Joshua." He said looking Dean over with a strange sort of contempt. As though he knew him from somewhere. "How comfortable or difficult your life becomes, is all based on my wishes. I suggest you cultivate my good opinion. " He said and motioned for them to bring Dean closer to the edge of the hay loft.

He opened the door of a wooden cage. A cube of wooden slats on all 6 sides. It was the sort of thing that looked as though with the right effort Dean could kick it apart. "The first thing you need to do, is get into the cage. "

Dean looked at Joshua for a long moment, god he seemed familiar somehow...but Dean couldn't place him. Then he looked at the rickety cage. And backed up. "Uh, yeah. What's option number two? Hoping that includes a beach, some lounge chairs...really cute girls..."

"You aren't earning my good opinion, Dean. Get into the cage, or you can spend the duration dangling by your wrists." Joshua said in an unnaturally calm tone. He wasn't going to tolerate the boys disobedience. He anticipated it but he wasn't going to tolerate it.

Okay, dangling by his wrists could be problematic, Dean realized. Would deprive him of two very important appendages he might have to use to get out of this mess. But that cage was the last place he wanted to go. It didn't look very steady and it was a long drop to the pounded dirt floor of the barn. A very hard pounded dirt floor.

But, with obvious trepidation, he got into the cage. Which they then shut and locked, and raised higher.

This was not good at all.

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Sam followed his father into the little suite of rooms they rented at the hotel. "What do we do first?" Sam asked, certain that his father would have all the answers. John always knew what to do. Always knew where to go. Sam was finding himself hoping that it really was Maggie again. She was nuts, and a demon, but at least she wouldn't kill him. She never seemed to want to kill them which was weird in and of itself but it was … well… some kinds of weird were easy to deal with compared to the sort of weird that would just take someone to hurt them.

"I don't know." John said and sank into a chair, staring at the floor, even though he wasn't seeing it. Who ever had taken Dean had wanted it known. They had wanted it to be obvious. They would call or they would deliver a message. If they were keeping him alive. Silence didn't bode well, and so far things had been very quiet.

Sam stood there staring at his stricken father. It was an image that Sam didn't remember seeing. But Dean would have known that look. It was the one that had been on his father's face for weeks after their mother had been killed. "Dad… we have to start looking. Any where… do something, please.."

John was out of the chair and across the room when the knock came at the door. He had it open mid second knock, face hopeful and defeated at the same time. This wasn't supernatural. This wasn't something he knew how to fight.

"Mr. Winchester, what was your son wearing today when he left the house?" The police officer standing there asked him, and John scowled. He had answered that question before. But he answered it again, sure that the man was just doing his job, which was trying to find his son, and apparently if he was standing here asking about apparel he had no more clue how to do it than John did. "Is this your son's shirt?" He asked holding out a plastic bag with the familiar well worn shirt within.

John nodded. "His favorite." He looked at it in horrified confusion, why was he looking at his son's shirt? Then he blanched. They had taken Dean's clothing from him, and the best case scenario he could think of was that they wanted to limit how easily he was identified as they traveled. Other things that crossed his mind… well… John knew how to hide the bodies.

The policeman nodded. "We found it off the road." He said. "Now, I just need to go over your son's schedule. You say he keeps a regular schedule?"

John nodded, having to sit down. "School. Work. Home." He said numbly. "Sometimes he goes and hangs out with some friends of his, things like that. He's supposed to take his road test this weekend." Again, the policeman nodded.

"Are you married?" The policeman asked.

"Widowed." John said. It still hurt to say that. "Their mother died when Dean was four." He rubbed his face, his wedding ring glinting in the light before he clasped his hands in his mouth.

"You and your son here need to stay where we can get a hold of you." The policeman said, taking into the account that they were living in an efficiency motel. But the place was clean and stocked with food, and the remaining boy looked healthy. "And if anyone calls you, let us know."

John nodded. "Will do." He said as the policeman left.

Sam watched his father with wide eyes from his chair. He'd never seen his father so...lost. Or a single moment when John wasn't in control, and didn't know what to do. Until now. He went into the small kitchen and started making dinner. He had to do something or he was going to go insane. This was not something he was prepared to deal with. Dean was always the strong one when something was wrong. He was the one that held everyone together while Dad formulated the plan. But his dad wasn't formulating any plans. He was falling apart. He was being a normal father, not the man that Sam had known his whole life.

He wanted to know what they were going to do, wanted to know how to find his brother or what sort of monster had taken him, but the thing was, Sam was starting to think it was the human kind that had taken him, and it was hard to track people. He wanted to reassure his Dad that everything would be okay, like Dean would do, but he couldn't. Because he wasn't sure it would be.

The two remaining Winchesters picked at their food in silence. No one spoke, no one turned on the TV or the radio. Neither was hungry. Their food settled like rocks and all they could do was wonder if Dean were hungry… if he were alive to be hungry. If he were hurting and waiting for them to come for him and save him. Sam looked up at his father, still very much spooked by the despairing man that sat in his fathers chair. "So when are we going out looking for clues?" Sam asked as he cleared away the dishes before they could feel guilty for what little they did eat.

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They started cleaning the floor of the barn, laughing and talking as though preparing for a party rather than something serious. Still ignoring their guest dangling above. They discussed the upcoming ritual and the importance of it all.

Dean laid down on the floor of the cage. It wasn't a very large cage, so he was curled up on his side. But his ear was pressed in one of the spaces between the slats. Listening. Grabbing onto any piece of information he could. They were talking about rituals and ceremonies. He didn't get where he fit into it. But he was listening. And he was hungry. He had to pee also. This was turning out into one bad, bad day.

"Hey!" He called down, and was ignored. "Hey!" He said again and one spared him a glance before turning away. "I gotta piss. Either you give me something to piss in or I'm pissing on you." He was hoping they continued to ignore him. That could actually be a form of payback actually.

The rest of the group looked at Joshua. None of them actually wanted to be urinated on. They didn't need urine from him.

Joshua sighed. "No threats from you, Dean. You lose control of your bladder, I will be forced to punish you. You can hold it until its convenient. You don't have long to wait." He said and continued about his business. He didn't know if Dean would follow his orders or not. Didn't particularly care. But he would pay if he didn't. No one disobeyed Joshua.

"Yeah, fine. Thanks for acknowledging that I'm hanging out with you all." Dean said. "But seriously, I haven't pissed since fifth period. I'm going to blow. I've have seven pepsis and three coffees. You really want to challenge my bladder to a pissing contest?" He did have to go, and he wasn't above pissing on them either.

"Don't be vulgar." Joshua said as they began to set up the ritual. Far enough away from Dean so that if he showed poor self control it wouldn't defile anything. He nodded and two of his people went up to the loft and began to lower the cage to the loft level and pulled it over onto the floor. "Put your arm through the slats."

Dean smirked at Joshua. "Give me something to piss in first. I don't see a bottle in your hand, and I'm telling you, bro, I really really gotta go. I'm trying to be all respectful here of your little demonic ritual, but it's so hard with all that...pressure. You know? You hear what I'm saying? Quid pro quo's the phrase of the day."

Joshua stepped closer to the cage and kicked out at it, which sent the rickety wooden cage off the loft, and swinging wildly, bouncing a little on its tether, giving the teenager a literal bird's eye view of the hard packed floor, as it creaked and rattled under the strain.

Dean nearly pissed his pants. It was great testament to his bladder control that he didn't, but held onto the slats as tight as he could as it swayed and swung over the floor, the cage shaking as it reached its apex on both sides. Nearly hyperventilating as it finally swung slowly to a precarious stop. "You're insane." He breathed out, eyes wide and definitely paler than he had been ten minutes before.

The cage was pulled back over to the edge of the loft floor. "Put your arm through the slats." Joshua said once more, locking gazes with the boy, still as calm as he had ever been. The boy was going to learn obedience one way or another.

Dean stared back. Yup, this man was definitely insane. "And why would I do that? So you could break it? Maybe tap into me for some weird ass blood ritual? Exactly how stupid do I look?" He said. "Wait, don't answer that. Seriously, I have to go to the bathroom Mr. Nice Person."

Joshua stepped closer. "Put your arm through the slats or you will go for another ride. Your own little version of Russian Roulette. How many times can you go for a ride without it falling to pieces and sending you to the floor below?" He wasn't going to bargain with the boy. He would do as he was told or face the consequences. Once done he would see that he could relieve himself. But that wasn't going to enter his end of the conversation. Dean was too demanding about it, therefore giving in before getting what he wanted would be a sign of weakness.

Dean looked at Joshua for a long minute. Yeah, something about him definitely reminded Dean of someone. Someone he didn't like much in fact, but damned if he could pick it out of his mind. And reluctantly stuck out his arm, because he didn't want to die falling to his death. Well, he didn't want to die period, but definitely not that way.

One of the men grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm taut as another sliced him, just deep enough to bleed freely, not to carve into muscle. They caught the blood in an ornate bowl, but held the arm tight while Joshua poured antiseptic over the wound then butterflied it, all the while ignoring any protests from Dean. Only when he nodded did they release his arm.

Joshua walked over to a shelf and returned with a #10 can, with a lid and sent it into the cage with Dean. "That will be emptied once a day. You will receive food and water for the day, once a day. You will be respectful at all times or those things will go away. You will do as you are told or you will be punished. You are not in a position to make demands. You are not in a position to negotiate. You will accept things as they are, or you will wish that you had. Do you understand me?"

Dean held his arm close to him as he glared at Joshua. "I so believe in karma, you know that? And I can't WAIT for you to get yours." He said. But he'd have to play along with the program as he tried to figure a way out of this. He could pick the lock easily enough. It was where to go from there that things were getting sticky.

"Is that what passes as respectful from you?" Joshua asked as he stepped closer to the cage and placed his hands on the outer slats, in a motion that implied he was about to shove it off once more. "Let me ask that question again, and you answer it appropriately. Do you understand me?" He asked slowly, locking gazes with Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, I understand you." He said. "Doesn't change the fact that you're an asshole." Or the fact that shit was going to get torn up as soon as John tracked him down. No one was a better tracker than his father.

"You will only speak to answer questions. No commentary. You will say Yes, sir and No sir, I understand, sir. You will say please and thank you. There will be no profanity. No vulgarity. Now, before I lose my patients and drop kick your crate, let me ask you one more time. Do. You. Understand. "

" And. I. Said. Yes." Dean said, because some of that attitude was hormone based, and couldn't be stifled. Another part was hardwired by life with John, and that was automatic. But he leaned against the opposite side of the crate and stared back, mouth quiet.

"Yes, what?" He asked prompting him one last time. Dean knew what he was supposed to say, it was automatic to say it to his father. He would learn. It would take time to beat him into submission but it would happen.

"I said yes. You're not my father." Dean said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to relieve myself." He said grabbing the can before Joshua could think better of it and take it away.

"Your father… is no longer a part of your life. " He said as he removed his belt and folded it in two. He did however wait for the boy to take care of business, before motioning for the others to bring him out.

Sam put his coat on and stood by the door, Staring at his father pointedly. "Dad…" he ventured again.

"Sam." John said. "Sit down." He shook his head. "This isn't a normal hunt. I don't know who to go after...yet." Because he refused to think his oldest was lost forever. "There are no signs to follow. No sulfur to track." He didn't know what to do. He hated feeling this...helpless. He hadn't felt this helpless since that night in Sam's nursery.

And that had turned out so well, hadn't it?

"How do we know that Dad?" Sam asked as he came to sit down, although sitting down was enough to make him crazy. He couldn't handle not doing anything. Not helping, not trying. It was the not trying that was making him insane. "Why would … why would people take Dean? We don't have any money… or anything else that people would want to trade him for. I don't understand."

"Because the world is a dark place, even in the normal world." John said hollowly. Just imagining why someone would take his son. On the other hand, he knew for fact that Dean wasn't making it easy on them. If he was still alive. There was a knock at the door and John flew out of his seat. But when he opened the door, it was just a cop. Not a cop with Dean.

"We need you to come down to the hospital." The policeman said solemnly.

"Is it Dean?" John asked.

"We don't know." The cop said. A body fitting Dean's general description had been found.

"Sammy come on." He said, not about to leave his younger son home alone, and there was no one else he trusted in town to watch him and keep him safe.

Sam nodded. "Yes, sir." He said and moved to stand with his father, waiting for the cop to move out of the way. He was terrified that they were going to go and look at Dean's body.

John was silent during the drive to the hospital. His knuckles were white as they gripped the steering wheel. Horrific images passing through his mind of what could have happened to his boy. Things that he hadn't prepared them for because he had been too busy trying to keep them safe from the darkness men didn't see until it was too late. He forgot that humanity wasn't much better than the demons and monsters he hunted. They were probably worse in some ways.

"Mr. Winchester… perhaps your son should stay here." The officer suggested as he had started to take Sam with him into the heart of the building.

John looked at his youngest son for a moment. "Only if you stay with him." He said in return, the officer nodded. "Alright. You stay here, Sammy, no wandering off, I mean it."

"Yes, sir."

He left Sam with the police officers at the reception desk and strode into the morgue, feeling very small and lost in spite of his massive frame. He expected the worst. He expected to see his son's lifeless form laying there looking up at him with some silent accusation. He expected to see horrible things done to his flesh and blood…things he should have been there to prevent. John's world didn't allow for optimism.

He looked at the wall of stainless steel drawers, gleaming coldly, sterile, unfeeling. Is that where he would find his son? Tucked away in one of these drawers like linens or socks ?

When they drew the drawer from the wall and revealed the boy's face, John leaned, nearly slumping against the wall of drawers. "Oh thank god." He breathed out, then felt strangely guilty as he looked at the boy who was alone and as yet unnamed, unclaimed. "Poor kid, who did this to you?" He asked, and are they doing this to my son as I speak, was the silent half of that question.

"We think he died trying to escape his captors." The coroner provided, as she started to close the drawer. But John's quick eyes took in all that there was to see. The slash marks on both forearms, The bruising that looked to be about the width of a man's belt. Old wounds, old bruises, alongside the new. The boy was gaunt. Not starved, but not healthy either. And he was broken. His body was broken as though he had fallen a good distance to his death.

"His hands were swollen… is that normal?" John asked, knowing that it wasn't. Not without reason.

"Splinters, poor kid. His hands are full of them. "

John left the morgue with a quicker step. His son wasn't dead. (he hoped) and as much as he hated the thought of who ever had tortured that boy having his son, at the same time they had kept the kid alive for quite some time. That would mean that they would likely keep Dean alive as well.

Sam looked up from the cookie the receptionist had finally coaxed him into taking, as his father came through the double doors, he studied his father's face, and stepped closer waiting for an answer to the obvious silent question.

"It's not Dean." John said as he pulled his younger son to him. "It's not your brother… he's still out there somewhere. " And strangely enough, those words were comforting.

Sam nearly cried. It wasn't Dean. That was good news. Now they just had to find him.

"Thank you officer." John said with a nod as the officer nodded back and kept talking on the phone.

"Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. All right." He said into the phone then turned to John. "We just need you to fill out forms, bureaucratic bullshit, that this wasn't your son and all." He said.

He was waiting for the social worker. They'd searched the rooms while the Winchesters were at the morgue. Turned up all sorts of things that shouldn't be around a kid. Loaded weapons, modified guns, knifes, machetes, and things they couldn't even identify. Add that into what Winchester 's co workers had told them.

Sure, Dean and John seemed to have a great relationship. But Dean had an awful lot of injuries that couldn't be explained away with his job or a schoolyard fight.

John scowled. He didn't want to fill out bullshit paper work. He wanted to go home and start researching things. Cults, cult activity. Those injuries weren't normal. That kid had been bled repeatedly. He needed to find Dean before it happened to him.

Sam frowned as he looked out the glass doors at even more official cars showing up. "Dad." He said. "I think I am gonna be sick, can we go home now?" He asked, making an excuse for them getting out of there as soon as possible, but the moment they realized they were there, it was too late.

"Actually," the officer said, "we need to speak with your father down town, but the lady coming in would like to get to know you, ask you a few questions, if that's alright."

"It's not." John answered for his son, and Sam stepped behind his father. "What's going on here?"

"Mr. Winchester, we have some things that need to be cleared up and we think that your son is better of in the care of the state until these things are cleared up or resolved as necessary.

"I'm not leaving my dad." Sam said firmly.

John blanched. Care of the state? Like hell. The state didn't have the first clue on what was better care for Sammy of all kids. "There's nothing to clear up. That's not my son in there."

"Hello." The social worker said, a matronly middle aged lady, as she went over to Sam. "Samuel, I know you're scared, but you need to come with me." She said. "My name is Mrs. Washington . I promise, we won't let anything happen to you again."

John moved Sam away from the social worker. "Nothing has happened to him." He said. "What is this? You think I'm abusing my kids?" He said as it started to make sense in a 'real-world' way.

"Mr. Winchester, we've just some questions. Please don't make us arrest you in front of your son, unless that's what you want?" The police officer said. "You're not under arrest, but if you do decide to not come with us, and do not turn your son over to Mrs. Washington , that could change. Fast."

"You think my dad hurt me?" Sam asked. "Are you nuts?" He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere until we find my brother, and I'm not scared. I don't have anything to be scared of."

"I know you feel loyalty to your father, but –"

"Damned straight I do." Sam said harshly.

"Sammy." John said in a stern tone, but hand on his shoulder was gentle, reassuring.

"Sorry." He said, to his father but if the social worker wanted to take it as an apology to her he wasn't going to disillusion her.

"Regardless, your father is going to the police station, either under arrest or not. Which leaves you alone, and that we cannot allow." Mrs. Washington said. "Your father will have a chance to explain his side of things, and even if it isn't resolved shortly, we do everything in our power to keep families together when possible. Don't look at this as taking you away from your family, Samuel, look at it as giving your father a chance to get some things taken care of."

"That's a bunch of bull." Sam said. "You think my dad hurt me and my brother, and you don't want to believe that your are wrong. Nothing anyone says is going to convince you that you are wrong. You don't want to keep my family together you want to help them destroy what's left of it."

John's jaw was clenched and his whole body was tense. The officers saw that, and kept their hands near their night sticks, just in case the man went crazy on them. But he looked at Sam. "Sam. You gotta go." he said. Because there was no way around it. He couldn't go on the run with Sam and look for Dean at the same time. He just needed a little more time to work on Dean. Then he'd grab Sam if he had to and hit the road.

"Dad..." Sam said, shocked at that. But John nodded.

"It'll be all right." John assured him. "Just give me a little time."

"You didn't do anything wrong…and I want to help find Dean."

"I know… and we'll get this all sorted out the right way, and you will be home before you know it. I promise, we'll work this out. Now go on…" Go on before I can't stand this anymore and lose it. Go on before I realize this really is the last of my world burning down around my ears.

Sam hugged his father tightly before letting go and reluctantly going with the social worker. He wouldn't stay. He would give his father a little time, but he wouldn't stay in foster care. Those places were dangerous. He was glad for the salt he always carried with him. He might at least be able to salt the windows to his room.

John watched the social worker bring Sam into a non descript black car and followed the police to the police station. Working on his story. Of course he didn't abuse his kids, but he couldn't tell the truth, now could he? So when he was led into the interrogation room, the first thing he said was: "I want a lawyer."

"Mr. Winchester, don't you think you're jumping the gun?"

"No. Because anything I say you're going to use against me. You're the ones who insist on this instead of looking for my oldest son. Now I want a lawyer." He grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled the name and number of a lawyer he knew two towns over. "And I'm not talking until he's called." He said, handing them the paper.

The paper was handed over to another officer that went out to make the phone call. It was going to take a while for the man to get there. So until then the officers indulged in friendly chat with John, or rather they attempted to. John wasn't in the mood to be friendly. They had taken his son away from him and accused him of being a monster.

Sam was in no more talkative a mood than his father. While the foster parents were readying their home for the arrival of Sam, the social worker took him back to her office to talk to him. But so far all Sam had done was glare at her, and say "My dad has never hurt either of us. Can I just go home now?"

Mrs. Washington was trying to be patient. This was most likely a very damaged boy here in front of her. "You're going to be spending the night at the Taylor's ." She said. "They're very nice people, they'll keep you safe until you want to talk about what happened in your family."

She knew there was a chance that Sam hadn't been abused at all. That it had all been reserved for Dean, who was by all accounts mouthy and barely passing school. The exam on Sam certainly hadn't turned up anything that couldn't be easily explained away by other reasons.

"I know this is a scary time for you." She tried again. "With your brother missing and all. But my job is to protect children whose parents forget to."

"It's not my dad's fault that Dean was taken. He takes care of us. He doesn't hurt us. So don't talk about my dad like he is some lowlife jerk that hurts his family. My dad's a man. Men don't hit women or children and they don't break their promises. Dad promised he would always take care of us and he does."

"It has to be very stressful." Mrs. Washington tried another track. "With your mom being gone so long, since you were a baby, right?" And was rewarded with a short, curt nod. "And he's raising you the best he can. I'm sure he's doing his best, but sometimes...I understand your brother doesn't make it any easier on him." At least not if he was at home like he was at school.

Sam's brow furrowed. "Are you kidding? They get along great. Dad and I argue a lot more than Dad and Dean do. Why are you trying to make Dean out to be the bad guy now? There isn't a bad guy in my family. Why is that so hard for you to understand?" He could really learn to hate this woman. "Is your world so full of hateful people that you think everyone is?"

"Sam," Mrs. Washington admonished. "I know that you're upset right now, and want to blame me for it. And that's all right. Your feelings are important, you know. This is a confusing time for you, and it's all right to be a little scared." She got up and offered her hand to Sam. "Come along now, let's go meet the Taylor's. I'm sure you'll like them." They were quite experienced with taking care of shell shocked abused kids.

Sam looked at her hand but didn't take it. "you're doing your job. I get that." He said "But you're wrong about my Dad. I'm not scared of him, or this situation. I'm scared for my brother, that no one really seems to be looking for. I am scared that your taking me away from my Dad when he needs me. Until someone gets up off their ass and finds Dean, we're all each other has… and you took that away for no reason. You say my feelings are important. But what you really mean is the ones you want to hear are important. I don't have what you want to hear. " He told her in a tone much more adult than the average 12 year old " I'm never going to lie about my family, not for you, not for the cops and not for a judge. So don't bother trying to make me anymore." He said as he got out of his chair and waited for the woman to lead the way.

"Sweetie, we don't want you to lie." She said as she handed Sam a bag she had packed of his stuff. "And if you're telling the truth, this will all blow over. And they are looking for your brother." If they weren't, they wouldn't have stumbled across the body. She led him to the car where they drove in silence to the Taylor's, a middle aged couple whose children were grown and gone and had become foster parents to fill the nest. "Mrs. Taylor, Mr. Taylor, thank you for taking my call. This is Samuel Winchester."

"Well, aren't you a handsome young man!" Mrs. Taylor said. "Let's get you settled in."

Sam blushed a little at the praise. He was always the awkward one with his long legs and unruly hair. Dean was the handsome one. "It's nice to meet you, Ma'am. Sir" He said. They weren't the bad guys here. He should be respectful and not give them a hard time. His father hadn't brought him up to be disrespectful until it was earned. Although Dean seemed to see it in the reverse, that respect had to be earned not lost. "I won't be here long, but thank you for letting me stay." He cast a look at the social worker, willing her to leave, not feeling at all friendly toward the woman he blamed for tearing what was left of his family apart.

"Well, you never know. You might like it here." Mr. Taylor said. They'd had their share of kids who said they wouldn't be staying, and ended up staying until they went to college. "My wife has some dinner still on the stove if you're hungry?" He offered.

Mrs. Washington smiled and nodded. "I'm sure he'd love that." She answered for Sam. "I'll call in the morning."

"No thank you, Sir." Sam said. "I'm not hungry." His stomach might think it was hungry now but the moment food hit it, that would be something else. He was so tied up in knots that he didn't think he would ever eat again. Not till Dean was back and the three of them were in the Impala and on the way out of this town. His dad and brother were heroes. He didn't want to be anywhere that they were made out to be something horrible.

He held his bag close, knowing that there wouldn't be any weapons in the bag. Nothing to protect himself with. He couldn't stay here. For the same reason he couldn't go to sleep overs. It was too dangerous, and these people seemed nice enough at the moment. They were just trying to help someone they thought was hurt. They didn't deserve to be hurt in the process.

He felt so lost. He was used to uncertainty, to having very few constants in his life. But now what few constants he had, were taken from him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Mr. Taylor nodded. "All right. Well, come inside and we'll get you settled in for the night." He said as Mrs. Taylor went in ahead to start turning on more lights. Some of the kids that came to them were afraid of the dark, especially the ones with abusive parents. Poor kid, no one deserved that.

Sam nodded and stepped inside following them through the house. His eyes made note of where all the windows were as he was taken toward his room. He checked for religious symbols, anything that might look out of place. His jaw clenched tightly as he went. This was not going to become his home. Home wasn't a place to him, it was people. Dean, his father, and he didn't have either any more. He thought he was going to cry like a baby, but held it in. He could do it. He could suck it up and hold on. He had to. "Am I the only one here ?" He asked.

"Right now." Mrs. Taylor said as she led him up to where he'd be sleeping for the night. "Usually we have a full house, but they didn't need us until tonight. But we're more than happy to have you here."

Sam had never had his own room. He doubted he would sleep a wink in there with no other sounds. Not that he thought he could sleep anyway. Not with Dean out there in trouble, and his father at the police station. The cops were wanting to arrest him. They had said as much, just wanted Sam out of the way so that they could do it.

All he could do was nod. He was alone. He set his things down beside the bed and found himself wondering what had ever happened to his old dinosaur. He sank onto the bed, staring at his hands. If his dad was in jail that meant he was the only one that could find Dean, and he didn't even know where to begin.

Mrs. Taylor checked on him once before bidding him good night. The next morning they could see if this poor child needed healing. Right now, he just looked plum worn out.

John was waiting impatiently until Jacob Beckett turned up. "Jake." He said as the cops excused themselves.

"What you get yourself into this time, John?" Jake asked, setting down his brief case and sitting across from him.

"Not this time." John said, shaking his head as he laid out the situation for Jake. From Dean's abduction to the child abuse suspicions. The last one made Jake's eyebrows about hit his hairline. John Winchester, child abuser? Not in this lifetime. "Course, I can't tell them why we're always moving, or where Dean's getting these injuries, now can I?"

Jake ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, then we have to come up with something plausible, but you know they will speak to Sam about some of this so it has to be something he will jump on the band wagon with without coaching." He said in hushed tones, even though he knew it was illegal to listen in to an attorney and his client. "What about that cult you rousted out a few years back, the one with that demon passing himself off as some sort of miracle worker with healing the soul?" The thing had gotten troubled kids in line, freed Junkies of their addictions, healed hurts and put souls at peace, although there was a price involved. Virtual slavery for life, with that thing leeching off of your soul. "Could spin that out nicely."

"That could work." John said. "If I'm on the run from them, explains the moves, and my reluctance to speak about it. Could explain Dean's injuries too." He was still worried about what could be happening to Dean, especially after he saw the body. And now Sam... "Okay, that will work. Then I need Sam out of foster care."

"And you haven't wanted to talk about it because if they have Dean they will kill him if it gets out. You have to play it up with reluctance to the police as well. And given the details it will check out." He told the hunter. "We'll have Sam home tomorrow at the latest. He's a resourceful boy. He'll protect himself in the mean time." Jake got up and went to the door to tell the officers that they were ready to talk to them now.

The police came in, and drug the story out of John, with careful prodding from his lawyer. And one was running in and out of the room checking it.

"And we can't even release any of this to the press, if they find out, they'll kill him." John finished quietly.

"You're sure he's alive?" One of the cops asked.

"I have to be." John said. And for the first time in a better part of four hours, he was honest. "Because if I don't I'll lose it. He's my son."

"Speaking of which, we need Sam released from foster care. They have both been through enough without being separated right now." Jake said.

"We'd have to wake a judge up to do anything, so right now let's just let the boy sleep through the night-"

"If you think my son is asleep you are wrong. You're the ones that took him from me, you can suck it up and talk to the judge to get him back." John said firmly.

"John." Jake said with a mild tone, and John Winchester folded his arms across his chest, and simply stared expectantly at the officer in question.

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They had finally put Dean back into his crate and hoisted it up again. The back half of his body was covered in welts from the belt, a few of them had broken the skin, others were deep bruises. He had been sent to bed without supper as additional punishment and informed that if he wanted to eat in the morning he would be more respectful. Then they had gone off to lick their own wounds. Wounds they had not expected to receive from the 16 year old boy. None of the others had put up that much of a fight.

It was some time later when they gathered together again on the floor below and began their ritual.

Dean watched from his crate as they started their freaky ass ritual. His back stung like fire, but damn if he'd admit it. He'd been hunting for a few years now, and it was definite on the job training. Wounds weren't anything new to him. He knew how to channel pain.

Actually, it just made him even more of mouthy young man than he already was. And had him plotting in his head.

But it was Joshua who had his thoughts right now. Not a bruise on the man, and there should have been from when Dean had been able to fight back. But there wasn't. And Dean knew it wasn't love taps he was giving the man, he knew how to hit and how to hit hard.

He just needed to get out of here. Soon.

Sam lay in the bed waiting for the house to go silent. When the door would push open a little, he would close his eyes and wait for them to move on. When things went quiet he slipped out of bed, and pulled on his clothes. He layered several of the things in the bags on, then pulled on his coat. It wasn't comfortable but he couldn't carry all of that back to the hotel. Things could be replaced. He had learned that over the years. Things didn't matter.

Quietly he made his way to the window, pushing it open slowly so as not to make any noise. It wasn't a comfortable squeeze to get out, but he managed, closing the window behind him. He stayed off of the main streets as he ran toward what was passing for home these days.

Sam made it back to the motel and noticed that the Impala wasn't in the parking lot. Which meant his father was still at the police station. He picked the lock to the room and sighed as he closed the door behind him.

All the weapons were gone. The place was a mess.

As he gathered his thoughts on how to find Dean, he re-laid the salt and brick dust. They'd taken the actual dust, so he had to crush a brick himself, harder than it sounded. But he had enough, he hoped, as he laid the dust down. Then he sat down on his bed and just wanted to cry. He needed his father, and he needed his brother. And neither were here.

One of the officers had left the room very quickly when John had given him the steely glare. The judge was pissed to say the least. He didn't know whether or not he wanted to strangle John for the unreasonable demand, or the officers and social services for putting them in this situation before getting all the facts. If they were lucky this Winchester fellow wouldn't sue the city.

But being a fair and impartial judge he took great pleasure in sharing the joys of being waken from a deep sleep and called the social worker himself, not taking no for an answer he got her motivated to go and retrieve the child so that every one would get out of his hair.

The other officer however was stuck in the room with a glaring John and his lawyer, who looked rather pleased with himself.

"I assume John will be able to retrieve his belongings when we leave this room." He had no doubt the weapons were all confiscated as well as some of the research materials. He just hoped no one had found the time to go through them yet.

The officer sighed. None of them were illegal, as far as he could tell. And sure, it might be foolish to have such weapons in such close proximity of children, but...that wasn't illegal either..."Yes." He said. "They're all in boxes, we'll be glad to get them off our hands." He paused when the other officer came back in and whispered something in his ear. And he paled. Knowing he'd have to tell the man in front of him, the very unhappy, very pissed off man in front of him what he now knew. He cleared his throat, which immediately got John's attention and got the gaze turned on him.

"Mr. Winchester, there's going to be a delay on getting Samuel back." He said carefully, noticing the way the other man's large hands balled into white knuckled fists.

"Delay?" John said through clenched teeth as he felt his heart drop out of him again.

"Seems he's taken off from his foster home."

The officer didn't even have time to register John was moving before he found himself slammed into the wall of the interrogation room. "Taken off from? Or taken from?" John growled. "You people put my boy in danger, and you can't even show me one bit of evidence that you are even looking for Dean. Hell, you couldn't even find the other boy before he turned up dead, and you want me let you do your jobs. To hell with you. "

"John, back off." Jake said as two other officers rushed into the room to separate John from their coworker. But he shrugged them off as though they were nothing, backing away from them.

"I want my things, now. I have to go find both of my sons now, thanks to you."

"Mr. Winchester, we understand you're upset." An officer said appeasingly. "And we're canvassing the streets for Samuel right now. And we are looking for Dean." He signaled for the boxes of things to be brought in so they could get John Winchester out of there before they had to charge him with battery. They were willing to let the first one go. The second, they wouldn't. They couldn't.

"Upset?" John said. "This is upset? You don't know the meaning of the word if you call this upset." He said as he grabbed his things and stalked out. Jake picked up the rest of the boxes and followed him out, helping to load the Impala. "Dean was taken and they've lost Sam." John said to Jake. "The only people I have left in the world and they're gone."

"They're not gone." Jake said. "They're missing. There is a difference. I'll get feelers out for Dean, and I'll tell you if I hear anything." He said.

John started the drive back to the motel. He'd cried four times in his life. When he broke his arm when he was three. That had introduced him to a pain he hadn't known existed. During boot camp, when they'd done their best to reform him from a teenaged boy into a man, and he liked to think they succeeded, even if it was torture during it. When Dean was born, something about seeing your first child born made you feel so small and so grateful for everything. When Mary was killed, his heart had been ripped out of him and burst into flames just as surely as she had.

He was now working on the fifth time. When he felt so damn powerless, and had let down the two people counting on him the most. The only ones that had mattered.

Sam heard the Impala as it pulled into the parking lot. That characteristic growl to the engine that always sounded to him like a big bear. His father and brother could call it a cat all they wanted to. Sam knew a bear when he heard it and that bear was angry right now. Angry and something else… like a sad echo after the growl. Strange how the engine always seemed to echo his fathers mood.

He didn't know if his father was alone however, so he hid. He was too big to hide under the bed. At 12 he was already 5'8" . He ducked into the front closet and pulled the door closed behind him just as the key turned in the lock. **please let him be alone, please let him be alone, please let him be alone.**

John came in and slammed the door behind him. And sat down heavily in one of the chairs, then poured himself a cup of coffee. The cops had taken all his stuff, but didn't see fit to turn off the damn coffee maker. Then he grabbed a notepad and a pen and started making lists of places Dean could be holed up.

"Sam, where are you?" He asked himself as he started on Sam's list. Sam was harder. The library was closed, and he had swung by there anyway. And it was different. Dean had been TAKEN. Sam WENT somewhere.

Sam eased out of the closet slowly. "I'm here Dad." He said, glad that he was there but regretting the torment he must have put his father through when he saw the way he looked as he sat there. He wasn't sure at first if the look on his father's face was rage, anguish or relief. He figured it was a little of all the above and simply strode over to his father and hugged him tight. Afraid to let go. "Don't make me go back, please"

John hugged him tightly then released him, holding him by the shoulders and stooping a little to look straight in his eyes. "I told you to give me a little time. That's all I needed. I got you released." He said. "When they went to get you, that's when they found out you took off. I told you to give me a little time." He repeated. He'd been frantic. But at least one of his sons was safe.

"I didn't mean to scare you, Dad. Honest. I just couldn't stay there. I had no way to protect myself. And that social worker was being a real bitch and trying to make me say that you hurt us, or that Dean drove you to hurt him. I figured I would come back here and we'd leave and try to find Dean."

John tried to be mad. He was still worried, but he couldn't bring up the anger. Because he knew Dean would have done the same exact thing, so why expect less from Sammy? Besides, he didn't run off, he ran home. "Your brother drives a lot of people to do a lot of things, just not me hurting him." He said with a chuckle. "And we'll find him. I've got some feelers out." And he figured he'd start where Dean's shirt was found. "But first I have to call the police and tell them you're here."

"Alright." He said with a nod. "How did you convince them? " Sam asked. "I mean they were pretty much set on nailing you as some sort of monster when I was taken away." He said as he took a seat watching his father. There had to have been some con because they hadn't believed the truth, and they certainly wouldn't have believed the greater truth of the situation.

"Easy." John said. "Sold them on a story how we're on the run from a cult." He said with a shrug. Had been easy once Jake came up with it. He couldn't think straight in those moments, and he was still having some trouble, as confident as he seemed. "So we're going to start where they found Dean's shirt."

Sam nodded. He was anxious to be on his way. "Do you think the people that killed that other kid, have Dean too?" He asked. He knew they wouldn't have brought him out to look at a kid that died of natural causes. Not when he had been openly kidnapped like that.

"I think they might." John said honestly. "Which is why we have to find him." Couldn't trust the cops to that. He didn't trust cops anyway. He'd come under suspicion for killing his Mary when she had died. Now they thought he was some sort of child abuser. No, the cops couldn't take care of this. But he could. He didn't trust the justice system either, they were ill equipped to deal with what he dealt with on a daily basis. "Come on." He said, standing up and grabbing his list. "All the weapons are in the car, they gave them back." He said with a chuckle.

"I'm impressed." He said. "So… are we taking off right away after we find Dean or do I still get to go to the dance?" He asked with a smile, feeling better since they were actually doing something now. Besides he had to think of something other than all the horrible possibilities that were going through his mind. If he didn't he would go insane with it all.

"We'll be sticking around until Dean's recovered." If the body was any indication of what his oldest was going through. But why Dean? That's what he couldn't figure out. Why they had taken Dean, if he had been targeted at all. He could have been a random kid he supposed, but John didn't believe in random. Not any more. They got into the car and started off to where Dean's shirt had been found.

"I don't like it here anymore anyway." He said honestly, although he really did like Carrie. They would be scrutinized too much now, and he never wanted to be left in the foster system for real. He had never felt so alone in his life.

The van had been abandoned in a corn field just off the road. The shirt had been found close to the road but deeper into the field they were able to find where the van had been left, and the trail that was blazed through the field from there. Soon they found Dean's shoes half buried, a pair of jeans… the cover alls. They were scattered through out the field. Not just along the trail.

John looked at the clothing and everything surrounding it carefully. Examining every blade of grass with his flashlight, reminding Sam to be careful where he walked. There was no pattern, no rhyme or reason to the clothes. Which told him they weren't important. But he folded them carefully anyway and tucked them under his arm.

"They switched cars. It headed that way." He said pointing. He'd found the tracks, now he just had to follow them. Shoving down the anger he felt at the cops for not finding all this in the first place. They just had to look!

Sam was feeling much the same way. Things had seemed a little off to Sam from the beginning but he didn't say anything cause he was just a kid. What did he know about how the police functioned, except from what little TV he actually watched? "Dad…. How could they not find all of this out here. I mean, yeah the initial trail was kinda hidden but… it shouldn't have been that hard. "

"No, it shouldn't have." John said. Which meant the police were involved. At least one, steering the investigation away from the proper path. It was a small town, the police force was small, would actually only take one man. "Come on, before this trail gets too cold." He wanted his son back with him by sunrise.

Sam followed his father's lead. "Dad… how bad was that other kid hurt… I know he was dead obviously but you know… was it… " he couldn't help but wonder what was happening to his brother. How bad was he hurt? Was he even still alive. "Was it really bad?"

John nodded sharply. "I'm going to be honest with you. The boy that was there...he was beaten. Probably to docile him, control him at some point. Dean'll get it worse." He said. He had to be honest with Sam, because Sam always knew the difference. "Because your brother is not docile. Which is why we have to find him before he proves just how uncontrollable he is." He knew pain worked different on Dean than it did on other people. He'd seen Dean take hits that would lay most hunters out flat, but Dean kept going. Because Dean processed pain differently. It wasn't a deterrent. It egged him on.

He'd fostered that in Dean. In their normal life, it would keep him alive. Refusing to lay down and be quiet. Now? Now that decision might get his first born killed.

Sam felt his blood run cold. He knew his brother. Dean wouldn't have the sense to just play it cool until they got to him. He would push the envelope because that is what Dean did. He pushed until something gave. He fell silent, walking in step with his father. He could wrap his brain around the how. He could wrap his brain around the fact that it happened. After all they had been kidnapped before. But the why, that was something different. If they had done this before to another boy that looked a lot like Dean that meant that Dean wasn't the original target. He just fit a certain description. Which made no sense to Sam at all.

It didn't make any sense to John either. Of all the people to kidnap, why would someone center on sixteen year old blonde haired boys? The ME, when asked, had assured John that the body they'd found hadn't been sexually molested. So why the type? Demons went after types. They fixated. Humans, usually only sexually, and that thankfully didn't seem the case this time.

The whys could be answered after they figured out the who's.

The road continued on into the darkness, with little relief in sight. Sam was lost in the thoughts of who and why and the fears of the dreaded what. "Well we know they are still close if the … the body was found here in town. And it has to be someplace they could," he swallowed hard, "where they could hurt someone with out anyone else knowing, right… which means away from town in a building. Can't be too many buildings out this road."

"That's what we're looking for. Something with height too." John said, remembering how the body seemed to have injuries from a fall. A high fall. "So look for a tall building, maybe a barn. A barn would work."

Sam nodded again, and the paused. "Hey Dad, looks like there is a road over there… through the bushes. Or at least something that you could drive a car through anyway."

"Good catch." John said, clapping his son on the shoulder. "We'll head that way." He checked his weapons, and Sam, by example, checked his also. They walked carefully and slowly, as much as they wanted to run. But getting themselves caught would be counter productive, and might get all three of them killed.

Joshua stood on the edge of the loft and stared over at the crate, with loathing in his dark eyes. He sensed that this was about to come to a head. He had thought that the diversions would have

kept John busy a little while longer. But the moment the younger boy was released back into his custody, Joshua had known it was only a matter of time. A pity really. He was just starting to enjoy toying with this one. It just wasn't as satisfying for the climax of the adventure to come so soon. Oh well… there would be others.

"Are you awake boy?" He called out.

"Doesn't much matter. Any answer I give you're going to say is the wrong one." Dean said, sitting up and glaring right back. He still hadn't called Joshua 'sir,' and had no plans on it. He could beat Dean until the belt broke, wasn't happening.

"I expect your father will be arriving eventually to stir up trouble. " He said. "Don't get too excited, you know what will happen when he does." He would kill the child in front of the father, It was convenient that Winchesters oldest boy fit the description so nicely of all the others, caught somewhere between boy and man.

"You're right. He's coming to stir up trouble." Dean said. "And I don't die easy. You couldn't even beat me without taking some losses on your side. Who the hell are you kidding?" This guy was obviously underestimating the Winchesters, and Dean was going to get a kick out of it. Then he was going to talk his dad into letting him wash some pain killers down with a beer. Worked for John after all.

Joshua's eyes flashed an eerie unnatural blue, and he smiled. Looking for all the world like a snake in spite of his completely human visage. "I don't have to touch you boy. " He said, as the crate began to swing on its chain. "Even you won't survive a fall like that ."

"Are you daring me?" Dean flared back. "Great, kidnapped by a freaking demon! How the hell is my luck so freaking bad." He said, seeing Joshua's eyes. "Just so happens my dad specializes in demons. You're going down."

John pushed Sam against the wall, seeing Dean way up high in a swinging crate. He had to think fast on how to get his son out of this, when he heard his son's words. It wasn't human, which meant he could throw caution to the wind and kill the damned thing that had taken his oldest. And that idea, it felt good.

Sam hazarded a look around the corner at his brother and felt his blood run cold, especially when the swinging grew more erratic and violent. He pulled his head back around and looked up at John with wide eyes. "I think I can get up there to let the crate down, if you can get the demon down to the ground level. " He knew he couldn't face a demon yet. He hadn't even really been on any major hunts yet. Just the occasional spirit. But he could get Dean if his dad could keep the demon busy.

John wanted nothing more than to send Sam back to the car. But Dammit, he couldn't do both. Battle a demon and get Dean to safety. Especially since Dean was on the verge of a full on freak out from the swinging crate. So he gave Sam a sharp nod and walked into the barn. In full sight.

"You've got someone that belongs to me." John called up.

"Dad!" Dean said, relief and anxiety clear in his voice as he clung to the slats as the crate swung back and forth.

"It's all right Dean. Just stay still and stay quiet. Dad's working now." John said.

Joshua once more gave that smug snakelike smile and leapt to the floor, landing gracefully and striding forward "John Winchester. Your reputation precedes you. Unfortunately for you, I know your weaknesses."

Sam managed to slip into the barn and hide behind a bail of hay, before the doors to the barn slammed closed, as well as the windows on the second floor. He used the momentary darkness to run to the stairs, but took his time going up, trying to stay as silent as possible. Even though he was sure his heart was beating as loudly as the slamming door, as far as he knew the demon didn't know of his presence yet and he wanted to keep it that way.

Dean saw Sam and squeezed his mouth shut to not call attention to him as the crate slowly stopped swinging. His whole body hurt now that he was done bantering and preparing for more punishment.

John grinned back at the man. "Yeah, yeah. You can occupy Dean with bad guy banter, on your whole evil plan to take over the world one teenage boy at a time. Me? Not interested." He said as he fired rock salt at the demon.

The salt stung like hell, but did little more than that, but the force of the shotgun blast sent Joshua flying backwards. "That is going to cost you." He said and once more set the crate in motion, and the wood could be heard creaking down below.

It was all Sam could do not to swear out loud as he saw it swinging wildly once more. "Hold on… just hold on." He whispered, cautiously making his way across the loft to the pulley that controlled the crate.

Dean gritted his teeth and carefully stood up in the rocking crate, and reached up through the top and grabbed onto the rope holding onto the crate. And held on with both hands for dear life, because the slats were creaking dangerously, like it was going to break apart.

John looked up and saw his son. And even from his vantage point, he could see the blood on his back, and could see just how deathly pale his son was.

"You're messing with the wrong family." John said and slammed the butt of his shot gun across Joshua's face and started throwing vials containing different things. Seemed random, but John was keeping track on which one affected the demon before him.

While the demon was distracted by several noxious concoctions, and an enraged John Winchester, Sam began to pull the crate back down to the level with the loft. He moved slowly because he didn't want to draw the demons attention to his brother. Another good blast of TK would send that thing flying apart, he was certain. Once he had it where he wanted it he moved quickly across the loft and waited for the crate to be swinging toward the loft in its arch and tried to grab for it.

John found one that hurt the demon in front of him, and acted on that by just pouring another vial of the same stuff right on him, not bothering with throwing them at the demon anymore. Then resorted to acting on out his rage by punching the demon until the demon looked at him. Eerie blue eyes he would never forget.

"Maggie." He roared. "I told you to stay the hell away from my boys!" He said.

The crate slowed and Sam grabbed it. "There's a latch on the outside I can't reach." Dean said to his brother. With a hint of a tremble in his voice. He swore off heights after this. At least heights when he was trapped in something that could crash.

Sam held onto the fragile crate with one hand, gasping sharply as he heard the wood creaking and give a little while he fumbled with the latch with his free hand, finally getting it undone. "Come on, before it looks up here again." He said reaching his hand in for his older brother.

Maggie laughed at John, sounding strange to his ears coming through Joshua. "Do you really think you command me, John? I honestly hadn't intended to target you with this but when you moved right into my territory how could I resist?" She looked up at the loft. "You boys stay right where you are. You don't want me to chase you down."

Dean took Sam's hand and got the hell out of the crate, groaning a bit at the movement. Damn, he needed a nice hot shower right now. "Too late." He said. But the last thing he wanted to do was move, because the last thing he wanted was to endanger Sammy.

"Yeah. I really think I can command you." John said. He'd done a lot of studying of the old rites. And began to chant ancient Latin, older than even the Church used as he kept dumping concoctions on her.

She howled in rage- her own voice merging with Joshua's in dual tones, calling him every name in the book and some in languages John didn't even know. Anything that wasn't nailed down began to fly around the pair, hunter and demon, almost obscuring them completely from the boys view. For every holy line uttered by John, she screamed out the profane, until the ground began to shudder beneath them all.

Sam pulled his brother away from the edge and toward the back wall to safety behind the stacks of hay. Anything flying their direction would be stopped by the barricade. He wanted to pull him down the stairs and toward the car, but if their father didn't win this fight, there would no where they could run that she wouldn't find them.

Dean wanted off the loft before the barn came down around them. Which it probably would, the way the ground was shaking. But John kept right on going. He wasn't stopping. He'd had enough of looking over his shoulder for Maggie all the time, wondering if she was coming after them.

Dean pulled Sam toward the stairs, keeping behind the bales of hay as cover. "We can't stay up here." He said to Sam.

"We gotta help Dad some how. " Sam wasn't liking how this was turning out. He had only been thinking about how to get to his brother, not thinking about how much danger it would put his Dad in. Apparently John had similar thought processes along the way because it looked for all the world like their father was starting to lose the fight.

The wind picked up and John was having a hard time standing against it. He leaned into the wind, squinting his eyes against the sharp cutting dust within. His outer shirt was torn to shreds by flying debris and he held one hand up to defend his face as he continued to cant the old ritual. With his free hand he pumped the shot gun and raised it, firing at the demon hoping to distract it a little from the tempest it was raising around them.

Maggie/Joshua stumbled back ward from the salt laden impact. And screamed so loudly and shrilly that the boys had to cover their ears, the final climax of that yell was a resounding **BE SILENT** focused at John, hitting him as though they were a physical force, sending him slamming back into the wall of the barn.

John hit the wall and slid to the floor, unconscious and bleeding. Dean wasn't even sure he was alive. And that was enough for him as he tackled Joshua, only to be thrown off.

"You son of a bitch!" He yelled, getting to his feet. His father was the only thing Sam and Dean had left, and he had no idea if John was okay. Which made Dean not okay. Bumps, bruises, cuts, marks, hunger, all that fell to the wayside.

Sam started to run toward their father only to be picked up and tossed toward Dean, hitting the ground with the air quite audibly leaving his lungs. He lay there gasping, frantically clutching at his side.

"Seems there is going to be a change in plans, boys." The demon said as it moved quickly toward them.

"Sammy!" Dean said, getting in between Joshua and Sam. "Leave my brother alone. You want to bleed me dry. Fine. Fine, do that."

"I'm going to require more of you than that." It said and Joshua's body arched backwards, the black cloud billowing out of him, and swirled around the boys. "Which one…. Which one…" it seemed to hiss in their minds as Joshua fell to the ground with an pain filled groan.

Dean screamed as the cloud enveloped them and they left the barn. Not under their own power or even by natural means. The man collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath, clutching at his chest as he started to wail, remembering everything that was done.

John woke up a time later and gingerly felt the goose egg forming on his head and saw Joshua, and knew somehow that it wasn't the Joshua he had been fighting. Maybe because of what hit him next.

"Son of a bitch!" He said, dragging himself to his feet.

His boys were gone.


	11. Chapter 11

John was exhausted and Bobby knew it. He hadn't slept in days. He had packed up and left town the night his boys were taken, and headed two states over to Bobby Singer's. If anyone had a vested interest in what was going on it was Bobby. He loved those boys. They were like family even though their father was an ass that often made Bobby want to fill him full of rock salt. Unfortunately the demons that ate at John Winchester's soul couldn't be handle through exorcism.

"Man, you are too tired to be making decisions like this." It had been 3 days since John had arrived. "You're gonna get yourself killed and then where will those boys be?"

John just glared at him as he made the summoning circle right below the binding circle in the ceiling.

"Damn it, you are summoning one demon to go fight another. Think about this. "

"I've done nothing but think about this. I can't summon Maggie, she wouldn't tell me a damned thing. Trust me, she didn't break under torture when she had her own body, doubt that has changed since she evolved into a demon. I doubt even God knows where she has taken my boys, and this one can find her. "

"What makes you think he will do it though? John… look… get some sleep. If you still feel like going this route when you wake up, then fine we'll do it. But you're not thinking clearly.

John didn't comment as he finished the last of the markings and rose to his feet. He opened one of his journals and began to cant the ritual. Even though exhausted, and standing on will power and coffee alone, his voice rang out loud and strong, speaking words to a summoning that had not been used in several hundred years, pulling the fiery demon into the circle.

There was a burst of fire. It was contained in the circle, but even so Bobby and John could feel the heat of it as it dissipated, leaving a perfectly human dark haired man standing in the circle. But Ben was a different sort of demon, in that he was a true demon. He didn't need to possess a host, he just was. Unfortunately he was still vulnerable to that one rite of summoning, one he had hoped had been lost hundreds of years ago.

He'd have to do something about that.

He glared at John as he recognized him. " Winchester ." He growled. "What do you think you're doing? And this better be good."

"Maggie is at it again. " John said. "And she is hunting for Jack. She might not be able to find you but she can find those who can and make it happen. " He said figuring that would get his attention. "Evolved into a sort of fallen now. Possessing people, creating cults and performing blood rituals. Haven't been able to sort out what she is doing with that. She is kidnapping teenaged boys… and bleeding them repeatedly, torturing them… she has my boys again, and I can't get to her without your help. I've tried."

"John, have you lost your mind?" Bobby demanded. "Have you lost your damned mind? Are you bargaining with this demon?"

Ben glared at Bobby as he sat down cross legged in the middle of the circle and lit a cigarette. "Yes, he is." Ben said. "Problem is, I don't bargain while bound. That's impolite. Look, she's not a true Fallen. She'll never be a true Fallen because she's never been kicked out of Heaven. That's the standing criteria. You can send her to hell, she'll be tormented there, and she'll crawl out. There are ways to kill a descended, but even I don't know about them fully, and they might just be rumor. You want my help? Then you break the damn binding circle."

"Fair enough." John said and started to move to draw across the painted circle with chalk.

"John, don't." Bobby said as he grabbed his friend's arm.

"She has my boys. He has the other. Keeping him safe from her, since I can't, obviously. I know what I am doing, Bobby. " He said as he jerked away and temporarily marred the circle. Bobby could fix it later if he needed it again. " Alright… let's talk then." He said to Ben as he went to the fridge to get two beers, making sure they were still with their original seals. He knew a few of Bobby's tricks after all.

Ben rose to his feet and stepped out of the circle. "If I wanted to hurt you," he said to Bobby as he passed, "this place would be an inferno." He pointed out. Though he did adjust the thermostat as he passed ten degrees higher. "In my realm, hell isn't hot. Hell has central air." He said with a chuckle as he took the beer and opened it. "Maggie has your two then? That's a shame. And she's fooling with blood rituals? Obviously she's trying to start something. Blood from young men is pretty much a symbol of vitality. Virgins, innocence, and old people equals wisdom. She's after power. Not surprising, she's a power hungry vengeful bitch after all. But with what you did to Dean...that increased his, well, how we measure vitality...you increased it by binding him to a totem so freaking young. She knew that, and I bet if you research the ones she already did away with, you'll find Native American blood in them, blonde or not. Or Norse ties, come to think of it...like she was priming a power center before the big event. I've seen what your boys can do." He said, referring to crossing the shadow lands when just kids. "If I were going to start a little cult of my own, and build a power center to make me a god, I'd go that route too."

"Would she be looking for Jack for that sort of thing too? Or is that some vestige of her humanity hanging on?" John asked as he took a seat. This was the strangest creature he had ever met. A demon who didn't want in on taking over the world, or hunting down someone to eat. He motioned for Bobby to join them, which he did reluctantly.

John didn't like the idea of Maggie turning herself into a little goddess. He could well imagine what she would do with the power of a following and the blood of children like Sam and Dean. The worst part was he didn't think she would kill Dean. He was an endless supply of power if she could contain him long enough.

"She wants Jack because in her mind he belongs to her. No more than that. Not any more." Ben said. "Believe me, I've been around long enough to see more than just a handful of demons go trippy."

"Demons are 'trippy' period." Bobby said as he grabbed a beer. His modified beer, in case he had to spray the son of a bitch sitting across from him. The demon turned steely green eyes on him.

"No. We're not." Ben said. "Some of us just like to be left the hell alone. Its you mortals who can't manage that. After all, why am I here?" He pointed out. "Your view of demons comes from the Biblical demons. Who are nothing more than pissed off teenagers because your god laid down the law. He said 'my way or the highway' and they picked the highway. Now they're all pouty and petulant because your god is a stubborn SOB and believes in all that tough love bullshit. Believe me, you two may think you're big bad hunters, but there is so much more out there that you don't even dream about."

"Back to Maggie." John interrupted, getting back to the task at hand and interrupting Ben's theological lecture.

Ben sighed. "I take it you did your worst to her?" He said and John nodded. "She'll retire to the shadow realm to recover. Refuel, recharge. The boys won't be playing house this time. They'll be treated like the hostages they are."

"Can you take me there?" John asked, holding up a hand to stop Bobby's objection. Ben nodded. "Then let's go."

"And do what once we get there?" Ben asked. "Talk her to death? Or maybe we'll ask to borrow a cup of sugar."

"Sending her to hell from her own domain is going to be hard as hell, especially if she hasn't possessed one of the boys. " John paled at that thought but put it to the side, if that had happened he would perform an exorcism. It was as simple as that. "And she would just claw her way out anyway. What about binding her? Trapping her in something?"

"You'll need a vessel." Ben said. "If its inanimate, which is preferred, has to be consecrated, and fortified...we're talking magic that is well beyond your puny ability. You might be able to do exorcisms and summoning, but that's child's play compared to what you're suggesting." He shook his head. "No, she has to be destroyed. She's not immortal. Not any more than I am. She's just...fluid." Ben was long lived, extremely long lived, but there were signs of aging. Of course, as old as he actually was, he should look far older (like mummified bones old).

"How do you suggest we go about that?" John asked, in a frustrated tone. If he had known how to destroy her, she wouldn't have been able to take his sons in the first place.

Bobby sat quietly listening to this demon. Good to know he wasn't immortal. He downed the rest of his beer. "Well… what the hell effects her? Maybe a combination of things that hurt will cause enough damage, Concentrated effort."

"You humans have such a narrow view of just about everything. Good, evil. Dark, light. Holy, unholy." Ben said as he drank his beer. "Over the centuries, I've found it quite amusing." He said with a chuckle.

"Could you have found a less condescending demon?" Bobby snapped at John.

"I'm over five hundred years old. I stopped keeping track after a while, but trust me. I've earned the right to be condescending. I've been exorcised, or attempted anyway, burned at stakes, tortured, starved and filleted. This was before my tenth birthday by the way. I've seen what you do to my kind. And what you do to yourselves. Like I said, narrow." Ben snapped in return. "You're thinking like a human. Not surprising, you are one. You think you can defeat her with light and holiness. Doesn't work that way. There is a whole new sort of balance you'll have to adjust to. You want to bring her down, it'll take the darkest forces you can even conceive of. Then go darker."

"And then draw the attention of that darkness to my sons." John said harshly, as he rose and started pacing. "I can't believe that there is only darkness to fight the darkness. It would work. I can see where it would work but there has to be something else. " He had manipulated the ritual to bind the totem to Dean. He had wanted to do it to himself but he had been tainted when he was possessed by the yellow eyed demon. The only totems that had been interested in him were ones that he hadn't been willing to bond to. He supposed he could rethink… chose one such as Coyote…who hovered in the twilight between good and evil. But that wasn't as dark as was needed.

"What? You think I wage battles using goodness, puppies and roses?" Ben scoffed. "You called me here, against my will I remind you, to discuss how to take her down. Well, that's how I'd do it. I'd fight with the darkest murkiest magic I could get my hands on. You want to exorcise her if she possesses someone, go ahead." He stopped and thought for a moment. "All right. Hold on. There is a binding ritual...hasn't been performed since I was a kid."

"If we can bind her, it gives us time to destroy her without her destroying us first, or hurting the boys." John knew things had changed. She wasn't indulging in a frustrated mother complex any more. She wasn't trying to protect her son. She was out for blood. Dean's blood to be specific. He didn't know if she had hurt him any more, or if she had found a way to infect Sam with the same darkness that had settled over her.

Ben nodded. "We'll need time to distinguish rumor from fact when it comes to destroying one of them." Ben said. "Let me check on this binding thing." He finished his beer, set it on the table, stood up and disappeared in a burst of flame.

Bobby shook his head. "John, you're crazy. I've known that for a long time. But this is perhaps the craziest thing you've ever done."

"A second generation fallen has taken my sons into the shadows." John said looking Bobby in the eyes. "I'd summon Lucifer himself if I had to in order to get those boys back. I can't get there on my own. There are no rituals or spells or sigils to get me across that barrier. He's the only one I can trust to help me. And I use that word trust lightly. He is one of those that is bound by his word… literally. So if he promises… it's money in the bank. Otherwise we're hoping for follow through."

Bobby was not comfortable with this. But what could he do? He didn't have any other suggestions for John. "Fine." He said, getting up and erasing the chalk smear from the devil's trap. In case it was needed later. "I'm going to trust that you know what you're doing, even though you're acting out of desperation and worry." He couldn't blame John on that, not with Dean and Sam captured. And a blood ritual involving Dean in the works. "Just remember that if you can get those two boys out of there, they're gonna need their daddy, especially after this. Can't shove them back here without their old man right behind them."

"I have no intention of dying there, Bobby… not in that place. " He remembered Sam's description of the things they had encountered in the shadow lands. He suspected that was what happened to people that died in that place. All the more reason to get his sons out of there as soon as possible.

Sam moved closer to his brother. "You should let me check your back again." He said worriedly. It was easier to focus on the wounds, on the small details. Not the fact that they had traveled through shadows, and were locked into a cinderblock room with one door and no windows. There was little light there, just what came in through the cracks around the door, but his eyes had adjusted to it after the first day. Not that he had any idea how long they had been there. It seemed like an eternity, but the rations she brought them seemed to be lasting well enough before the next delivery, so it couldn't have been too long or his stomach would have complained more.

"I'm good." Dean said, distractedly. His eyes were fixated on the door, waiting for it to open. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he was going to do something. He rubbed absently at one of the long shallow cuts along his forearm, it throbbed. Probably infected at this point, but he didn't care. He was keeping himself in between Sam and Maggie as best he could.

"no you're not" Sam said for the first time, having no idea how often he and his brother would have this discussion through out their lives. "I wish you hadn't made that deal with her back there. " He said looking at the cuts on his brothers arms. All but one of those cuts was there because Dean was protecting Sam. Because Dean had told her she could keep bleeding him if she left Sam alone. It didn't matter to Sam that she would have done it anyway. That she would have just forced him to participate in her rituals as she had back at the barn. What mattered was that his brother didn't fight her anymore.

Their father was gone, and it was just them now. Because Sam's stupid plan had gone wrong. The one time his father had trusted him to come up with the plan and not only had he not gotten Dean to safety, he had gotten his father killed. Now Dean was letting her hurt him. It was his fault things had gone so terribly wrong, and he didn't know how to make it right again.

"I'm buying us time." Dean said. Because it had been pounded into his head since he was four that if he could keep Sammy from harm, then he had to keep Sammy from harm no matter what. This was a small thing compared to what he would do for Sam. "And we need time." He said, shaking his head. He didn't know if his father was alive or dead, and that thought scared him more than anything.

"I don't want you hurting yourself any more over me." Sam said. Oh he knew that it wasn't like Dean was choosing to get hurt, but at the same time, he sort of was. "I'm not a little kid anymore. No one treated you like a kid at my age so stop treating me like one. We're in this together. Not you in this to protect me."

"And both of us getting hurt solves nothing." Dean shot back. "She wants my blood, and she's going to get it one way or another. I'm not treating you like a kid," well, not really, right? "I'm taking this one for the team. You can take the next one since you're feeling left out and all." He was cranky, tired, hungry (giving his rations to Sam even if Sam didn't realize it) and hurting.

Sam got up and moved across the small room. "Yeah… feeling so left out." He answered back sarcastically as he planted his back against the cold wall. "more like responsible." He planted his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "I told Dad I could get you out of there if he got the demon away from you. I didn't think he was gonna just go in there and mouth off at it. I didn't even hold up my end of the deal. He could have done it if he had come up with his own plan.. .wouldn't be… " he shook his head. Couldn't say dead. Even though he was sure that was the case. If he hadn't been when they were taken he surely was now. No self respecting demonic cult would leave John Winchester alive. "You'd both be okay if I had just stayed put in that foster home."

"Yeah right. I'd still be in a cage, or crushed on the ground." Dean said, knowing his brother needed reassurance. A weird place to be getting, and Dean was barely up to it, but he tried. "You did fine, we're alive, and we have to believe Dad is alive." No matter how unlikely that was. Because to b believe anything less was to give up hope.

Sam just nodded. He knew it was empty assurance. He knew the truth. The truth was he wasn't cut out to be a hunter and it was costing his family dearly that he even existed. Dean wouldn't have been on Maggie's radar in the first place if she hadn't come for Sam in the first place so long ago. She had taken his blood first. Just a few drops. Now she was trying to bleed Dean dry… it just seemed like it should be the other way around. That it should be Sam she was bleeding not his brother.

"Sam, we're going to get out of this." Dean said, sitting next to his brother. "Come on, when have I let you down?" He pointed out with a bit of a grin. "And if I say we're getting out of this, we're getting out of this."

"You're not the one that has let any one down." Sam said quietly. "I did. I always wind up getting you either hurt or in trouble." It was true. On the occasions that Dean wasn't throwing himself in the way of something with claws or fangs or things flying through the air, he was getting in trouble from their father for not keeping Sam from getting hurt in the first place. Here he was getting hurt to protect Sam again. "Sometimes I think I really am adopted." He was like a duck amongst falcons.

"You're not adopted you freak." Dean said. "I remember you being born. You were a freaky baby with a head that ate Cleveland but you weren't adopted. Nice try, but you're one of us. And I'm not hurt or in trouble because of you. She'd bleed me anyway, I just had the choice over whether she hurt you too. No reason for both of us, right?"

Trouble was, Sam would rather it was him suffering than Dean. Dean thought that was a big brother thing, but it wasn't. When Sam had been little, he had needed protecting, and someone to take the occasional lump for him, but now that he was older, he couldn't stand the thought of it. "She only needed a few drops of mine when we were kids." Sam said. "Maybe she wouldn't need any more than that now. " He was afraid that the wounds would fester, or that one day she would decide that it would just be easier to bleed his brother out and store it like hospitals do.

Sam had seen how devastated their father had been over Dean's abduction. How lost he was. Even if he were alive, John wouldn't be coming. They were on their own, and he was the only one that could help Dean. But he had no idea how to do that.

"Maybe." Dean said, but he didn't believe it. Half the reason he wasn't eating like he should. It was far too passive-aggressive a rebellion, but it was a start. Decrease the 'quality' of his blood or something. Besides, Sam needed it more. Especially if he was going to help Dean out of here. Because he knew he'd be in no condition. He already wasn't. "Why don't you get some sleep? I'll watch the door."

"you need it more than I do. " Sam said , looking his brother over worriedly. It was too dark in there to see how pale Dean was, but he could tell by the set of his eyes, the way they didn't shine as much as they used to that Dean was exhausted "Besides, what good is watching the door going to do. You're just gonna give in to what ever she wants anyway. May as well rest while you can. "

Dean's jaw twitched. He didn't LIKE 'giving in.' And he had to force himself to every time. Choke down the urge to fight, the instinct to really cause some trouble. "Because I don't want to sleep." Dean said. Afraid if he slept Maggie would do something to Sam.

"just stop it, Dean" Sam said sharply. "Alright. Just lay down and go to sleep. I'm old enough to watch the frigging door and wake you up" He had screwed things up badly, and there was something about this place that … bugged … him. Not just that they were locked in a room barely big enough for them both to stretch out in, or that Dean was hurt daily and he just took it for Sam's sake. There was something else. Something that seemed to slither around in his mind but never reach the surface.

"This is where I remind you that I'm the older brother. And you're the little brother." Dean said with a scowl. "As in I'm presumably in charge as much as either of us can be. Because you know you won't wake me up. Don't start. You'll let me sleep and try to deal with Maggie on your own, and we know where that will lead. BOTH of us freaking hurt."

"no that's what you would do in my place." Sam said with a scowl "You cant keep this up forever. You're cant heal if you don't rest. How long has it been since you have slept anyway? Since we've been here?" It hadn't been a full day that he had been missing before they had found him. So much had happened in just a few short hours. "What's gonna happen when you push yourself to far?"

"Guess we'll find out." Dean said. "And we'll see how long I can keep this up. Just go to sleep, Sam." Because his brother needed the rest. Because Dean was irritable, and wasn't sure he could keep assuring Sam it would all be okay. Because Maggie would be coming again, and he didn't want Sam to keep seeing it.

Sam's jaw ticked, the softness of his slightly pudgy, pre-growth spurt features, faded away and for a moment it was clearly visible the man he was going to become one day. Evident in his dark eyes and the lines of that strong jaw. "No." He said firmly "Not until you do." He said and looked at the floor, not saying another word. He wasn't going to let Dean face this alone. He had failed him once, he wasn't going to do it again.

"Dammit, Sam!" Dean said, running a sore hand through his hair. "Fine, whatever dude." He could fake being asleep easily enough. He'd just fake Sam out. That was all. Just fake him out as he made himself as comfortable as he could be in the closet sized room they were stuck in. Just fake him out and pretend to go to sleep as he closed his eyes. Sure, just fake him out...as Dean actually fell asleep.

Sam adjusted himself so that he was between Dean and the door. He would keep watch this time. He might not be able to stop anything but he would keep watch anyway. It wasn't enough but it was all he could do.

The door opened some time later but Dean still snored away, exhausted beyond belief. "Please, let him rest. " Sam said as he shielded his eyes from the bright light. Any light was almost blinding now after so long in the dark.

Maggie looked over the boys, Dean was looking ragged. Good. She wanted the boy on the brink of death when John came through. If John came through. She was beginning to have her doubts.

Sam drew his long legs up under his chin, wrapping his arms around his legs. "I just got him to go to sleep… he wont be any use to you if you kill him with all of this. Please… just let him rest." Sam hadn't developed the Winchester pride yet. He wasn't afraid to beg if it could mean his brothers life or health.

Maggie stared at him in silence. Her form although more substantial here, was little more than shadows. She set the food and water inside the door. "Knock on the door when he wakens." She said staring at Sam with sharp eerie blue eyes. "If I find that you don't…that you stall… it will be worse for him." She said and closed and locked the door. She knew what it would do to Sam to have to knock on that door, and it made her smile.

Dean slept fitfully. Not wanting to sleep, but his body overruled him on that point. Because sleep was one of those biological necessities. Along with not bleeding excessively and eating well. One out of three wasn't too awful bad, right?

And when he woke up, and remembered where he was, he was surprised he'd been allowed to wake up on his own. That surprise was quickly followed by suspicion as he looked at Sam, who was still sitting with his long arms around his long legs.

"What did you do?" He asked hoarsely.

"Nothing…I asked her to let you sleep… she ahm… " he swallowed "Said I had to knock when you woke up" he hated that. Hated that he was going to have to summon her to hurt him again "Why ahm… why don't you go back to sleep for a while… please." He said hoping that Dean would agree. He didn't want to bring harm to his brother. Even if he had postponed it long enough for his brother to rest

"Dammit." Dean said. She'd put Sam in that position on purpose. "Like hell. Get some rest." He said as he leaned over his brother and rapped on the door.

Sam slid back over against the wall, letting Dean move closer to the door. Rest, like that was going to happen. Especially now that his brother was going to be hurting again.

He looked up as the door opened to reveal the demon that had once been a woman.

Dean got to his feet and nodded. "Let's go." He said as he walked out the door.

-----

John was pacing when Ben flared back into the room.

"Where the hell have you been?" He demanded, and Ben raised a hard eyebrow.

"Well, actually, when you put it that way..." He said with a grin. And tossed a portfolio at John. "Well, hell for me anyway. Vatican archives. Hey, you got a shower here? I'm feeling defiled and dirty right now."

John directed him toward the shower and sat down with the port folio and began looking through it, handing half of the file over to Bobby, wanting to get through it as quickly as possible, before he passed out from exhaustion. Before Maggie had too much time to hurt his boys.

He got himself another cup of coffee. His 12th that day already. His stomach was telling him about it too but he couldn't let himself sleep. Not with his boys in danger. Not when this was all his fault. He should have killed the fucking bitch the moment he had found out what she was. He felt a twinge of guilt in that too, knowing that another son would have died with her.

Bobby flipped through the file, setting some pages aside for further inspection as he heard the shower run. Leave it to a demon to feel defiled in one of Christianity's holiest places.

Ben took his sweet time in the shower as they went through the papers. John reading everything with intensity tinged with exhaustion.

"John, get some sleep." Bobby said. John didn't respond, just kept reading. "John, you're not going to be able to do what you need to do if you don't get some rest."

"And what is it that I need to do?" John asked blandly.

"Stay on your feet for one."

"How can I sleep, Bobby? I saw what she did to that other boy. All the bruises and cuts… the kid was busted into so many pieces …" He buried his face in his hands, covering his eyes with the palms of his hands and rubbing as though he could force back the exhaustion and the tears "I cant just go to sleep like its just another day."

"Yes you can" Bobby told him "Because its what needs to be done. You don't sleep and you are going to fall flat on your face in the middle of that battle, and you will die in front of them. "

"you didn't hear his voice." John said, remembering the panic in Deans eyes, the relief and fear mingled in his tone when he had called out to his father. He had thought it was over then, that he would be safe soon, and that had been days ago. John had failed and Dean was still being tortured. He had no doubt of it.

"Damn it John. Don't be a fool. You're letting your emotions cripple you. She has your number. You're letting her win."

Ben came out and looked at John. "Go to sleep." He said, his voice holding more authority that it seemed it should. "Time's not right to cross any barriers. Get some sleep, Robert and I here will sort through all this stuff." Even if Bobby would be handling it and Ben would just be reading. No touching. Holy objects didn't necessarily cause him harm, but he had a serious aversion to them. Might be a complex from his 'childhood', who knew?

To say john was irritable would be like saying water was wet. But he bit his tongue. Every thing in him wanted to lash out at everyone and everything until something made the outside hurt as much as the inside. "Who's watching Jack?" He asked instead of what had been on the tip of his tongue to say to the demon. Maggie wanted his youngest boy and while he knew this demon could keep the child safe… Ben wasn't anywhere near the boy at the moment.

"Friends." Ben said. "Believe it or not, I have them. I have sex too. And once in a while I even piss. Not bad for a demon, huh?" He shot back. "Don't change the subject. Go to bed. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and I'm not covering it if I'm arguing with you."

John didn't have it in him to argue anymore. He walked down the hall to the bedroom as though he were walking the last mile. He felt so helpless, useless. He had failed both of his sons. All three of them really. Failed their mothers too. That was what had brought them to this point. His own failure.

He lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling with heavy eyes. Eyes so unaccustomed to tears that didn't come out of a tequila bottle, that they refused to let them fall. "I'm sorry Mary" he said raggedly "I'm so sorry."

"He's gonna get himself killed" Bobby said, angry at John. Not for the reasons John would expect. Not for starting this whole fiasco years ago. Not for bringing a demon… a fucking demon… into his home like a god damned guest. But for what he was doing to himself. For what was going to happen in front of those boys eyes.

Ben shook his head. "No he won't." He said. "I made a promise to a kid I know, his father is going to be all right. The only way he dies if he sacrifices himself. That's the way it works, because that I can't undo. And John knows better than to leave the other two all alone." At least he hoped.

"you don't know John." Bobby said with a sigh. "The man has been barely alive since his wife was killed. Hell there are two things that get that man out of bed in the morning, and that s his boys, and the chance of hunting down the son of a bitch that murdered his wife. If he thinks for a minute that he has to sacrifice himself to keep those boys safe he will do it before you can blink."

Ben smiled almost sadly at that, green eyes tinged with pain. "Then I do know John." He said. "My promises are the only thing that gets me through this life. And I'm keeping every one of them." When he was finally released from the last one, raising Jack, then maybe he would see about what it took to kill a demon like himself. "Including making sure Winchester returns to his hellish life and all the pain that comes with it." 

"So which one of his sons managed to get you to promise to protect a hunter? Gotta admit its an unlikely thing to do" Bobby said as he looked through the pages, starting to think this plan had a chance of working, if they could keep John from screwing things up too much. The man was impulsive as hell sometimes.

"It wasn't junior we were trying to make them forget. Dean forgot all on his own because of the head injury. Sam… well…John figured it was best to get rid of what ever might have tainted him in that place." Bobby didn't know that Sam was like Maggie. John kept that information to himself. He didn't want his boy to wind up hunted by his friends. Although Bobby would have been insulted at that lack of trust. He just figured that no 9 year old should remember trekking through a demonic wasteland to save their father.

"Tip for the wise. Demon wasteland? Not even demons want to cross it. That's why it's a wasteland." Ben said. "The fact that those two made it across and back is nothing short of amazing. He got the point that Bobby didn't know the 'truth' about Sam, and Ben was fine with that. Wasn't his problem. Then it dawned on him. "Dean. Dean went into the temple and got the water. That makes him, for lack of a better word, pure."

Bobby chuckled. "He's a Winchester and he is dating. I don't think pure applies any more‚ He had a narrow view of what was pure, but that was because he spent most of his time dealing with cults that looked for virgins for purity in their rituals, not pure heart and soul and intentions. He was just jaded enough to think there was no such thing over the age of 6.

Ben chuckled. Bobby had misunderstood him, but he couldn't blame the man. He was mortal, after all. With a mortal's understanding of how the world worked. The whole world, not just the mortal world. "Okay, so if Dean's the target of her plan, then the first thing we have to do is remove the targets." He sat back down. "Which means, Dammit, I have to work.." Slide John in, then slide the boys out, then slide back in. This would not be fun.

"Cryin' shame that." Bobby said. "So you get the boys out and leave John in there with that bitch alone." He said knowing it was the only way since the demon couldn't bi-locate, and John would insist on it. He walked over to a well worn hutch and opened up one of the drawers. He picked up a medallion from a large pile of little metal disks and then grabbed an engraving tool and a book from a sloping pile of books and papers. . He sighed heavily and sat back down across from the demon. "So how likely is it to work?" He asked flipping through the pages of the book to the right seal, then clamping the medallion in place so that he could work on it without it shifting. He couldn't afford for it to be the slightest bit off.

"Probably not, but it's the best we've got." Ben said honestly as he went to the fridge and got a sealed beer. He looked at Bobby, who nodded, it was a safe beer. He sat back down and twisted it open. "But it might. At least it should slow her down. If John doesn't get himself killed." He looked at Bobby. "And if he does, what do I do with Sam and Dean?" He asked seriously.

"if John doesn't give you instructions, bring them here. Pastor Jim and I can decide where they are best raised. Otherwise go with what John asks." He said, hoping it didn't come to that. He engraved the seal deeply into the medallion and then dropped it into a plastic bowl with specially treated salt in it and closed the lid, shaking it around to remove any impurities.

"Got it." Ben said, pushing his chair away from the table as Bobby mixed the salt and everything else. In case things spilled out. Sure, he was an 'ally' of sorts right now, but it would still hurt him. And make him change his mind on this whole 'being helpful' thing.

"you might want to give me a few minutes alone with this" Bobby suggested. "I put a seal on there that will keep John from being possessed but I need to make it so that she cant take it off of him. You get those boys out of there fast enough and he wont have any thing that can make him take it off either. " the last thing the world needed was John Winchester possessed. Especially by that bitch. "but the ritual I need to do will probably make your skin want to crawl off your body, and that cant be a friendly experience"

"Gladly." Ben said. "I'll go wake up Prince Charming while I'm at it. See if I can't convince him to shower while I'm at it." He said and got up from the table, heading to the room John had escaped to. He opened the door and kicked the bed. "Come on, up and at 'em."

John came up instantly, gun drawn with what would have been deadly aim if he were pointing it at a man. Or at least something effected by bullets. "Is it time?" He asked as he started to come into something resembling consciousness.

"Close to." Ben said, unaffected by the gun. Why would he be? Couldn't do anything to him after all. "Go grab a shower. Because you stink like a pig, and I'm sure its the last thing your boys want to smell when they get rescued. Got it?"

John glared at the demon, and picked up his bag, before heading into the shower, more concerned with waking up than whether or not he offended the olfactory senses of a demon.

Maggie stood at the circle with Dean, and handed him the blade. She had never given him the duty of making the cut himself before, but she figured if she were going to leave him to sleep, then he had to pay for it as much as Sam did for daring to ask. Any concession had a price. Besides, she wanted them both as broken as possible before John summoned her. She didn't doubt it wouldn't take long for him to figure out what sigils to use, for her and for Ben. He would find Jack... He was the only one who could.

Dean stared at the blade before taking it with solemn eyes. Great. now he's have to go all mopey teenage girl who cuts herself so that Sam didn't have to deal with it. Sam wouldn't have to know after all.

He took a deep breath and looked at his arm, finding a spot that wasn't cut yet and hissed as he dragged the sharp edge across his skin, dragging the blade as it sliced his flesh, leaving a trail of blood behind.

Maggie took his hand and bent his arm to milk the blood into the chalice. Once done she set it aside and cleaned and butterflied the wound with all the compassion one might show a cadaver. But she wasn't going to risk infection. She had uses for the blood in his veins and needed him alive to continue to produce it.

She indicated that he should walk back toward their cell. She would have to let them out of there eventually if they were going to maintain any sort of health. But she would have to do it one at a time. If Sam were with Dean in the yard they would escape Into the wasteland, and she couldn't have that. Sam needed to be broken before the darkness took him, and Dean... Well... He could last a very long Time in captivity.

Dean gave her a long look and walked slowly. Stretching out his cramped back muscles and legs. Stopping occasionally to give himself a good joint cracking twist or so.

"You're not going to be able to keep us forever." He said with clear eyes. Eventually either John would find them, somehow, or they'd get out on their own. He had a weird sense of deja vu about this place as it was.

"I wouldn't be so certain. If you could escape you would have by now to save your brother." Maggie pointed out "and your father is dead." He would be soon enough so as far as she was concerned, and the boys had last seen him laying unconscious on the ground. There was no way they could know of a certainty that he wasn't dead. They might try and disbelieve but eventually the doubt would settle in. The seeds of grief.

"You better hope my father is dead. Or he's going to have a serious mad on for you." Dean said. Because his faith in his father was unshakable. He'd seen John come back from hunts seriously wrecked. And he had been fine. He could o only keep the hope that this time, with so much on the line, he was just as invincible. "Nice talking to you." He said as he got back to their little holding cell.

Maggie leaned in close. "He wasn't breathing" she whispered. "I could hear no heart beat... He didn't even twitch when you both screamed like scared rabbits. John Winchester is dead. He will never come for you. You belong to me. Nothing but an endless supply of blood while I wait for Samuel to come of age. "

Dean stared back. He was past the point of being cowed. If she was right, he had nothing to lose. If she was wrong, well, John would be here soon enough to get Sam out of here.

"You're wrong." Dean said. "Nothing can kill my dad. Especially some psycho demon whore with a serious complex on being dumped."

Maggie laughed softly "you keep thinking that. Although if he is alive, he is certainly taking his time getting here Days and days. Never took him this long to come rescue Sammy before has it." she hummed. " maybe he is just waiting long enough to be rid of you" she said as she unlocked the door of the storage closet and waited for Dean to enter before closing and locking the door again.

Dean glared at her and stayed standing until the door shut. Then he slumped against the wall and cradled his newly cut arm against his chest as he looked at Sam. "You manage to get some sleep, dude?"

Sam thought about lying but he really wasn't any good at it. "Not really. But I slept earlier so its okay. Are you gonna be all right?" He asked worriedly. There was something different. Maybe it was just the pain getting to him after all this time. Maybe something else. He figured Dean was just going to lie anyway but what sort of brother would he be if he didn't at least ask.

"Yeah, Sammy." Dean said tiredly. "I'll be fine." But he wondered if Maggie was right. Was their father dead? Was there no escape from this hell? Would he be sentenced to this until he finally died from blood loss or infection, or when she didn't need cups of his blood anymore.

Who was going to protect Sam then? Who was going to be able to take the hits for him so he didn't have to?

Sam had been convinced their father was dead all along. He had also been convinced it was his own fault. As was what Maggie was doing to Dean. "tell ya what... I'll lay down and try and rest if you will. You still sound tired." The pain was probably making him tired. It took a lot out of you to hurt all the time and there was no way Dean wasn't in more pain than he was letting on.

Sam hadn't been outside the closet since they had arrived. He didn't know where they were, or how hard it would be to find their way home. They hadn't even been able to get outside of the cell they were in, so getting any further hadn't really been an option. He watched his brother with a sad expression. He wondered what he would have to give Maggie to make her let Dean go. He would do it, what ever it was willingly, and cheerfully. No matter what it was if it meant Dean got to go home... Or even foster care since their dad was gone. The Taylor's weren't bad people. If he hadn't had Dean and his Dad waiting for him they might have been okay people to live with. Maybe he could go to pastor Jim or Bobby. Anything would be better than what she was doing to him now.

Dean didn't have it in him to argue right now. He'd had to put up the flippant nonchalant face for Maggie, and as the days drug by it was getting harder and harder to maintain. At least when he was sleeping he wasn't expected to have it.

And it was so easy to sleep. No matter how cold it was, how hungry he was, how much his arms hurt, he could always escape it for a minute and sleep,

But it left Sam defenseless. And that couldn't be allowed. Because if John...NO! WHEN John came, he'd be pissed.

"Okay." He said. "Switch, my turn by the door."

Sam gave Dean a look "You're always by the door" He told him "I've only been there once. So no it isn't your turn. Lay down. She isn't going to be back anytime soon since she has already gotten your blood and dropped off the food. I ate while you were gone, do you want some before we sleep?" It was a lie, sort of. He had nibbled at a piece of bread, but he wasn't hungry. Besides, he had figured out that Dean was just about starving himself and that had to stop.

"Nah, I'm good." Dean said. "And once was enough. Move over, brat." He said, stepping over his brother and standing back against the door, feet tucked under Sam. "Seriously. Or I'll just sleep ON you. Really, dude, don't think I won't. It IS my turn by the door." He looked at the food. "And eat, Sam."

Sam glared at him as he moved over to the far side of the small room. "I'm not going to eat unless you do." He told him pointedly. "I had something while you were gone and its not right for you to not get enough to eat. You cant boss me into letting you not take care of yourself Dean. I cant stop her from hurting you, but I can make sure that I don't."

"Fine. Dad." Dean said with a scowl and shoved a piece of bread in his mouth. "There. Happy?" He said around the mouthful of bread, drinking some water to wash it down and then he checked on the butterflies across his arm, making sure they stayed put. He and Maggie had one thing in common at least, they thought Dean plus infection equaled this really sucks. He settled down on the floor. "Okay, we gotta figure a way out of here. There has to be a way."

Sam scowled at him in return. "I don't know... I have been trying to sort that out too but there isn't even a door knob on this side of the door Nothing to work with to get at the lock. I'm sorry, Dean" He handed him a little more food. There was never any way to tell how long it would be in between food drops. Maggie didn't seem to want to give them any way to tell the passage of time. It was working on Sam.

"It's all right. We've got time." Dean said. He'd looked at the door himself, and without his lock pick, it was hopeless. He sighed and scrubbed his face. His face was hot, and he inwardly groaned. He thought he felt like shit because of the circumstances, but now was NOT the time to come down with something.

Even though if there was something going around, he was going to catch it. Because that's just how it worked.

Sam pressed his back into the corner. "Eat some more then we'll go to sleep." Not like there was anything to stay awake for. Besides... He wanted Dean asleep next time Maggie opened that door. Dean had to get out of this place, and the only way that was going to happen was if Sam came up with something Maggie wanted more than Deans blood.

"Dude. Little brother." He said, pointing to Sam. "Big brother." He said, pointing to himself. "I've eaten all I'm going to. I'd give anything for a bag of M&Ms though. That would be good. Could eat the whole thing. Bread? Not so much. It's part of an actual food group you know, therefore definitely not me. You're the healthy eater one, you eat it."

Sam glared at him "Healthy brother" he said pointing to himself "no where near healthy brother " He said pointing to Dean. "Now eat the bread cause I am not eating another bite until you start at least trying to take care of yourself too. I cant lose you too Dean."

"Bitch." Dean said as he grabbed another piece of bread. "I'm not going anywhere. And you don't know that we've lost Dad. Stop thinking like that." He grumbled as he tore the bread into pieces to eat. Busy work. He wasn't hungry, his stomach was sick at the fact that John could be dead. And Sam was here with him, and somehow it was Dean's fault. After all, he was the kidnapped one, the one Sam and John came after. Now John was, at the very least, hurt, and Sam was locked in a closet with him.

"Don't call me that, ya Jerk, I'm not a girl, and I'm not a dog" he said, although there wasn't a lot of fight in his tone. Sam was sure that they had lost John. His father hadn't been moving. He hadn't even been able to see if he were breathing. Nothing less than death would have kept their father away this long. That or a very long hospital stay, which didn't sound much better. Their father needed Dean. Yeah he had Dean watch over him like he was made of spun glass or something but there was a connection between John and Dean that Sam couldn't even fathom much less be a part of. They needed each other. Sam was the outsider. A well loved overly protected outsider, but an outsider none the less.

He had to talk to Maggie. Surely there was something he could do or give that she would want more than his brother. He just wasn't sure what.

"You're so a girl." Dean said, making himself as comfortable as he was going to get in the cramped closet. Their father would come. Be cause John always did when his boys really needed him. John just had to figure out how, was all. That's all that was keeping him. And he told Sam so.

"Look, we don't know how to get out. So Dad's trying to figure a way in." Because his faith was unshakable in John. It had to be, or his whole life was for nothing.

"No I'm not." Sam said, and nodded whether he agreed or not about John. It had never taken this long for John to find them before. He was either dead or something was wrong, seriously wrong. Which didn't change the fact that he had to find a way to get Dean out of there. At 12 Dean would have been able to do it, or at least that was what he thought, not thinking about the fact that his brother couldn't get them out of there at 16.

He got into a position where he could lay down and still leave room for Dean to lay down too.

Dean settled back with a sigh. "He'll find us, Sam." Dean said. "Then we can get yelled at for something. You know the normal deal." He knew, deep down, it was how John vented worry and fear. But still. "Hey, maybe these cuts can get me a few days out of school. That could be cool."

"Moving again will get you out of school. " He figured he had already missed the dance. It seemed like so long ago that the girl had said yes. Carrie would probably never speak to him again anyway for standing her up like that so it was just as well. "You think he will take us to Bobby or Pastor Jim?" He asked letting himself play along with the fantasy. Right then he would have welcomed being yelled at for something, anything, just because it would mean their father was alive and there.

"I don't know." Dean said. "Maybe Caleb. Who knows with him? Sometimes it's hard to tell what he's thinking." After this (and he had to believe there was an 'after this') he wasn't sure he'd be up to driving across the country. That he'd be up to long drives sentenced to the back of the Impala to wherever Dad got to where he was going. "Shit, I'm going to miss my road test. And you're going to miss your date. Really starting to hate this Maggie chick."

"You'll get your road test." Sam said with certainty. He knew there was no way he would make it back for the dance, and he would live with that. "Just a matter of rescheduling is all. Setting it up somewhere else. It could be fun to see Caleb again. But I like Pastor Jim's best. " With Jim, Sam didn't feel like the odd man out. Everyone else was so ... like John and Dean... that Sam just faded into the wood work with his books. Dean he figured would like Bobby's best, but probably needed Jim since he was hurt. Bobby was great but he wasn't overly comforting. So when he talked her into it he would get her to take him to Jim's... Question was how to talk her into it since she seemed so intent upon bleeding his brother dry.

"Yeah, he's okay." Dean said. Too much of an academic really. Too many books and not enough cars in Dean's mind. That's why he liked Bobby's. If he didn't want to 'talk' or do anything else, he could go fool around with a car.

"He makes the best food." Sam said as he lay his head down, hoping his brother would follow suit. Dean wouldn't be able to stay awake long if he did. Sam could tell. It was hard enough to stay awake with the boredom, and he could only imagine Dean was exhausted all the time because of the blood she was taking from him. "I would just about kill for his lemon cake right about now. Bobby doesn't have much of a sweet tooth and his fridge has more beer in it than anything else." Bobby actually had more books than Jim did, but he also didn't let Sam get into many of them at all, so it was almost torture for someone like Sam.

Dean propped himself up against the door. If the door moved, it would wake him up. It was a good strategy, since he knew Sam was trying to get him to sleep. And he probably would. He was just so drained from everything. Emotionally, physically...all this blood letting was getting to him. He wasn't sure how much blood he had left.

But he wasn't going to let her deal with Sam if he could help it. She wanted to deal with someone, she'd deal with him. He was the older brother, it was his job to protect and guard Sam. Not the other way around, no matter what happened. That had been made clear by their father.

Sam could have strangled his brother then and there for just that simple move. Even though he loved him for it too. The fact that he did that when he was hurting himself and should be able to expect a degree of protection, or even support. "You know, one of these days you are gonna get yourself killed doing that, and THEN who am I going pester?" He asked. It was only partially in jest... In fact very little of it was in jest. He turned over to face the wall. He didn't want Dean to see how much he wanted to cry right then. Bad enough he was treated like a kid, he didn't have to prove that he was one too. If he was going to be stuck with that bitch all alone, he wanted it at least to be on his own terms, not because Dean had gotten himself killed trying to protect him when he couldn't even protect himself.

"Killed doing what? Sleeping?" Dean said with a hint of laughter in his voice. "Dude, you're the one who told me to get some sleep. Nah, I'll be fine. Besides, if I'm sitting up, I don't put pressure on my arms." Which was true. There wasn't enough room for him to lay flat down without putting s some weight on either of his stinging burning arms. "I'll be around for along time. Long enough to interrupt you during embarrassing private moments, and tell humiliating stories to girls, don't worry."

"Protecting me." Sam said softly. "You're gonna get yourself killed protecting me. " He didn't sob, or shudder, but he cried. He knew how weak his brother was getting, and now Dean was making sure he didn't have any way of saving him.

"Sammy..." Dean said, righting himself and grabbing his brother's leg to get his attention. "I'm the oldest. I'm the oldest brother. This is my job. That's why I'm here. To make sure my baby brother keeps being this giant pain in my ass. If I let you get hurt, what kind of older brother would I be? A really shitty one."

"Brothers take care of each other." Sam said looking over at Dean. "Yeah most of the time it's your job to take care of me but you can't right now. That's when its time for me to take care of you."

Dean sighed and leaned his head against the door. "Fine." Dean said and scooted over. "We'll BOTH lean against the door. How's that?" It was a compromise, and Dean didn't feel so much like he was letting John down that way. Just a little, but not all the way, like he would if he and Sam traded spots altogether.

They were dangerously into chick flick moments. Wading their way through a Barbra Streisand song or something equally detestable. Dean knew that.

He also knew that during the best testosterone movies, when the heroes were pinned and about to die, well, real feelings came out before the final fight. Which the heroes always made it through.

He could have pulled a Han Solo reply, to when Princess Leia told him she loved him. He'd simply and in a mucho manly way, replied "I know." That was good. But this was his brother. And he was just as scared as Sam was, even if he couldn't admit it because one of them had to seem fearless. And their father had always called him the fearless one, so by default it had to be him.

Luckily, Sam was sitting by the side with the arm that hadn't been sliced as much as the other. So far at least. So he slung that arm around his brother's shoulder and pulled him slightly to him. Much as he had done when he was younger, when the only thing Dean could do was wrap himself around his brother so any thing coming at them would hit Dean first, and not Sammy. Never Sammy, not if Dean could help it.

And in this dark closet with a demon somewhere on the other side, and their father no where to be found, this was the best and only thing Dean could do to protect his brother. It was just to hold him.

"I love you too Sammy." He said. And hoped they were the words that prequel led the storming of the gates and the great escape. Not the heroes' deaths that it sometimes could.

----------------------------------------

John looked over the files that had been pared down by Bobby to the bare bones necessity of the ritual. "So this is how Solomon bound the Djinn." He said and drew a shuddering breath. John Winchester was an arrogant man. But he was no King Solomon and knew it.

"Looks like." Bobby said, not liking it one little bit. It would work, if John were strong enough, focused enough, and could keep from being distracted by demonic attacks long enough to get to the end of the rite. Fortunately it wasn't one of those things that required he stand in one place and have the unwilling cooperation of the demon.

Of course there was always the problem that Maggie wasn't a Djinn. She was a Nephilim gone seriously bad. It might not work on her as effectively as it would a Djinn. But he supposed so long as it gave Ben time to get the boys to safety, and go back to get John out of that hell cat's grasp it would have to do. They really didn't have any other options.

"Here." He said and handed the modified St. Jude's medallion to John.

"What's this?" He asked as he put it on. Few people in this world that John trusted, Bobby Singer was on that very short list.

"Seal on the back to ward off possession."

John nodded his thanks. "If I don't come back from this..."

"I'll see to the boys, don't worry about that." He could have tried to reassure John that he would make it back, but he wasn't so sure about that himself. There was no way that this was going to go well.

"Okay, you two going to hug or can we get going?" Ben said, smashing out his cigarette in a nearby bowl. Bobby rolled his eyes and he earned a scowl from John.

"See what I've been dealing with while you've been napping?" Bobby said flatly.

"He loves me." Ben said. "My biggest fan. Come on, we got a cat to declaw or something."

Ben wasn't looking forward to this. Maggie, she couldn't hurt Ben. Ben was in a whole different league. But he didn't relish the thought of Maggie tearing John apart limb from limb in front of his boys.

"Let's do this." John grabbed the supplies Bobby had put together for him and the copy of the ritual. He had to succeed at this, because if she had the option of coming back for his boys a 4th time, he didn't think they would survive it. He wasn't sure they would survive this one.

He ran his hand over his face before reaching into his pocket and tossing the keys of the impala to Bobby. "That's for Dean." He didn't have anything for Sam, but didn't have time to worry about it now. He looked over at Ben. "Get the boys out of there, don't worry about me until it's done."

"Don't plan to worry about you at all." Ben said and grabbed John, sliding him into a shadow realm, in a forgotten room in Maggie's house. "You ready for this? Because this is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. You've done exorcisms...that was patty cake compared to this."

"Doesn't matter if I am ready or not. I'm doing it." He didn't think anyone would be ready for a ritual such as this. Probably why it was hidden in the Vatican. "Just get those boys back to Bobby. Anything you manage to do after that to help is up to you." He wasn't going to hold Ben to any promise for his own survival. This mess was his own making. He should have known better than to get involved again after Mary's death. Should have known it would come back to haunt his boys.

"I know." Ben said. "Good luck." He said with a nod as he slid off to find the boys. Probably in the most uncomfortable place Maggie could think of, so he had to search his head for the memory of the layout of the house. It was there, he'd spent enough time here once upon a time. He just had to recall it.

John strode out of the room and toward the center of the house. "Maggie!!" He roared.

Sam sat upright hearing his father's voice in the distance "Dean?" He said quietly, waking his brother up, almost afraid he was dreaming. Then he heard it again. The distinctive sound of an angry John Winchester.

Dean stirred. "Wha..." He said, then woke fully up, hearing his father's voice bellow. "Dad!" He said, then was blinded by a bright flame that dissipated.

"I'm with your father. And I'm going to get you out of here. Two choices. Stay and probably die, or come with me right now to Bobby's." Ben said, holding out his hands for the two kids to take, so he could get out of here before Maggie was onto it all.

Sam looked at the demon dubiously. He didn't remember having met him before. "How do we know you aren't working with her, and just taking us away so that Dad can't save us?" He asked, not wanting to risk that Dean could be subjected to more of this torture, especially not with their father storming the gates.

"Okay." Ben said. "Then stay."

"Prove you're with our dad." Dean challenged him through lidded eyes.

"How do you think he got here? You're in a shadow realm, kids, can only get here by some demon. No spell is going to bring you here, there's no magic gateway." Ben said. "And your father gave me explicit instructions, and we made a deal, that you two were to be brought back to Bobby's. That's what he's counting on. So let's go!"

Sam frowned then. "My dad doesn't make deals with demons, he kills them." That alone was enough to make him doubt this guy was for real. How did they even know that what he was saying about their location was true? They had been locked in a closet the whole time, well Sam had. And he doubted that she had taken Dean on a friendly tour of their location while she was draining him of blood.

"I do not have the time or patience for this." Ben said as he leaned toward them and grabbed their shoulders. This wasn't the easy way, but at least it was a way as he slid them into the flames and out into Bobby's kitchen.

Dean was still screaming from the sensation of being burned alive for a millisecond (since Ben didn't take the time to be gentle) when he kicked himself off Ben and grabbed Sam.

"It's okay." Bobby said as Ben disappeared again in the flames to check on John.

Sam covered his eyes, and cried out, the ambient light caused him a great deal of pain. He had been in the dark for too long. "It's not okay, Dad is still there."

Bobby noticed the pain the light caused the boys and hurried to close the blinds, dropping the light down to a bare minimum.

"Bobby?" Dean said. "Is this some sort of demon trick?!" He demanded.

"Look, it's hard to explain, but that demon owed your father a favor. He's cashing in on it now." Bobby said. Couldn't very well tell them the truth after all. He finished closing up the kitchen and brought some water over to the boys, kneeling beside them to check them out, reaching out and binding Dean's arms. "Think I got some antibiotics around here. She touch you Sam?"

Sam shook his head. "No." He said, his guilt in that evident in his voice. He couldn't help feeling as though it was his fault some how that Dean had been tortured. He had failed to save him when he had assured his father that he could. "No, she left me alone." He looked over at his brother. Dean didn't look good to him. Now that his eyes had adjusted to the light, dimmed though it was, it was still more than he was accustomed to now. "Are you okay?" He asked his brother.

"Good. That's good." Bobby said to Sam, a bout him not being hurt. "That's real good."

"I'm fine." Dean said, trying wave off any and all concern.

"Come on, let's get you two to bed. Some real sleep, your dad will be back before you know it. Maybe we'll order out for some pizza and wings, whaddya say?"

"I don't think I could sleep 'till Dad gets back. I... I thought he was dead." Sam admitted. "In the barn he wasn't moving... I couldn't even see if he was breathing... He kept at her and nothing seemed to touch her at all. And he's back there fighting her and he doesn't even know we're out of there and safe."

"He made it out." Bobby said. "And he'll make it back. This is your dad you're talking about. And he hurt her, back there, don't worry. If he hadn't he would be dead."

"Well, even if this is some screwed up illusion, I like it better than the closet." Dean said.

"She kept you in a closet?" Bobby asked looking from Dean to Sam and back again. Good thing John didn't see that. He would have lost focus due to the outrage.

"Yeah... It wasn't a coat closet...we had room to lay down in it. A storage closet." Sam said as he took Dean's arm and started to lead him away, and toward the bedroom. He knew where it was, and if it was a demon trick, they would find out soon enough. No demon could recreate the organized chaos that Bobby Singer lived in. No demon would want to. The titles of some of those books alone would be enough to scald their throats at the utterance much less the recreation.

"Go lay down." Bobby said as he sat back down in the kitchen to wait for the next bit of news. One way or another.

Dean and Sam made it to the spare room and Dean exhaled as he looked around. All sorts of books that demons would never put in an illusion, because they might be sealing their own death warrant to even think them. "Okay, we can sleep now." Dean said to Sam with a bit of a grin.

Sam smiled. "Yeah, you go ahead." He said, still having the feeling this wasn't over some how. He was afraid that if their father failed she would come back for Dean, and Sam wanted to be awake for it. He went over to the dresser and pulled out the bags of salt and brick dust. The windows were permanently treated with the stuff so he didn't worry about that, but he lay a line at the doors, including the closet door, and then one around the bed for extra measure. A thick line.

Dean went onto the bed and laid down gratefully. God this bed felt good. And usually he found it lumpy. Right now, heaven. He watched his brother spread the dust and salt and nodded. Now he could sleep. Sammy could stay up and keep watch but nothing was crossing those lines.

Sam picked up a book before getting into the bed with his brother. He didn't want to fall asleep until he heard his father's voice again. Dean was safe now, and he knew that Bobby would do all that he could to keep them both safe but if their dad couldn't keep them safe no one could. Not forever. If their father didn't stop her, it would happen again. Probably worse next time. John wouldn't be coming back if he failed this time.

"Dude, seriously, get some sleep." Dean said through half closed eyes. "We're just waiting for Dad to get back, and you know when he does we'll be on the move quicker than we can say hi." His brother was just as sleep deprived as he was.

"I can sleep in the car." Sam said as he turned a page, only half paying attention to the written word. "You shouldn't travel for a while anyway. They'll think Dad was the one that hurt you if we take you to the hospital. He's gonna want time to make sure you're okay anyway. Dude, I have never seen him so... so... broken... As he was when we thought it was just a normal kidnapping. Dad's gonna need down time too." Whether he took it would be another matter entirely but the man was going to need it. "Hopefully Bobby has enough tequila. "

"Broken?" That didn't sound like John. Of course, Dean was too young to clearly remember that night back in Lawrence. Just enough. He remembered just enough that it was terrifying. Things he never told his father that he saw. But the look on his face as they all sat on the hood of the Impala, he didn't remember. "I'm sure Bobby's got enough. He's gotta be ready for it."

"He just stared at his hands. I couldn't get him to eat... It wasn't until after he had seen that other kid that he figured out it wasn't a normal kidnapping. Of course then I scared him by running away from the foster home they put me in... I really wanted to hit that social worker. Even if she was a woman. But it was scary Dean... I don't know that he would have pulled out of it if we had lost you."

"Well, no worries. You didn't lose me." Dean said with his trademark quick grin. "I'm way too cute to kill. Even Maggie knew that." Though he wanted to know what all that blood stuff was about. But his eyes were so heavy, and he could hear the call of the bear. Something he'd never told Sam about, and probably never would. But she'd take care of what she could. And in his dreams, she had his mother's voice.

"Go to sleep." Sam said gently, looking over at his battered brother. He looked like the walking dead in the natural light of the room. Dark circles under his eyes, the bruises across his back were dark ugly blackish purple, still raised welts against pale skin. His arms were red and swollen from the cuts. Sam didn't know if they were infected or not, but they didn't look good at all. He hadn't been eating right, and nothing Sam had done had been able to change that. Dean wasn't doing well in Sam's estimation. Not well at all. "I'll wake you when Dad gets here. Give you a little warning before he pounces on you." He figured this time...this time John would show what he was feeling, that he was worried about Dean and loved him.

At least he had better.

"Okay." Dean said. Most of the choice was taken out of his hands, his body didn't have to be told twice. It knew safety, and knew he was safe...so against his better judgment...he was asleep before he could argue. With Sam or himself.

-----

Ben flared into the room, he didn't care if Maggie saw him. And watched. It was nearly an epic battle, would have played out nice on some movie screen with some nice special effects.

But he was back up. Because he was bored, for the most part. And he didn't want this shadow of Maggie hanging over Jack's head. He told the boy his mother was dead. Might as well make it so he didn't lie.

John was exhausted. Even the short amount of time spent fighting her was sucking the life out of him. Ben had been right, this was more taxing than even the most hard core exorcism he had performed. But he thought it was working. He hoped it was working. If it wasn't his sons were going to pay the price.

Maggie was hitting him with everything she had though. She knew what was coming and she wasn't going to go without a fight. In fact if she had anything to say about it she wasn't going down at all, and John Winchester would watch his oldest boy die as he hung helplessly near by- close enough to smell the coppery scent of the boy's blood.

Ben stepped in and took the next hit. It might have finished John Winchester off, but he wasn't John Winchester. He was a whole other sort of creature as blazing green eyes met the eerie blue ones of the woman in front of him.

"Been a long time, Mags." He said with a smirk. "Somehow I was expecting at least a hello. But while you're both here, thought I'd discuss some child support. That kid of yours...growing like a weed. Eats like a whole soccer team." His big plan was to piss her off so she'd expend some more energy. Nephilim or not, she couldn't keep this up forever. Especially, since in his eyes at least, she was a neophyte at best. Should she be able to live for a hundred or more years, then maybe she might be a tad threatening.

"Bring me the boy and we'll call it even." She said. "Might even be able to work a deal with my father to give you back what you really want in life. It's a pity really, how heaven turned its back on her just because she loved you." Maggie said, attempting to push him aside to get at John. "We'll fix that little problem if you just stand aside and let me at the damned hairless ape behind you."

Ben growled and backhanded her, far harder than John could ever hope to. But that hit a serious nerve with him as he stalked over to her and lifted her back up. "You shut your mouth, bitch." He said, hitting her again. "She should be a saint, and nothing your father could do would change anything." One of his biggest fears, that the woman he loved more than anything, including himself, could be damned because of him.

"She's talking shit to get to you." John said. Ben wasn't allowed to finish her off. This was HIS fight after all. He had no idea what buttons Maggie was pushing and didn't really care.

"Go ahead Ben, Send me to hell, I'll stir the coals myself, tell her all about how you've finally got the child she could never give you. Unlike John's sweet St. Mary, hovering in limbo for all eternity, in flames, Just another monster, cause he doesn't have the balls to go back and finish her off."

John nearly fell to his knees, the thought of his Mary like that. But Ben shot him a fiery look.

"She's lying. Finish it." Ben ordered through clenched teeth. He'd take the hits from her. Just in case what she said was true...he would deserve it. And in case it wasn't true...maybe it would earn him some bonus points for the after life.

"Why would I lie when telling the truth is so much more painful?" Maggie asked as she poured her attack into Ben. Ben was the one holding her there. He was the one she had to break free of. "Go ahead John. Finish it if you can, then go back and finish off the other monsters you have created. If you're man enough...Or are you going to make Dean do the dirty work for you?"

John howled in rage but stood his ground, pouring renewed effort into the ritual. He had to get rid of this creature before she found a way to turn his son. It wasn't just his sons' lives on the line, it was Sam's soul as well. He couldn't let the boy turn out like Maggie.

"That's it, Maggie." Ben nearly cooed at her while holding her fast. Oh he'd definitely need a vacation after this (and no matter what Jack said, Disneyland was NOT a vacation for adults). "Just make him madder. And madder. I'm going to love watching you disappear. Jack already thinks you're dead you know. He's over it." He held her as hard and as tight as he could, paying attention. For there would come a point in the ritual when he'd have to let go, lest he disappear himself. And he wasn't ready for that. Not yet at least.

John chanted over and over, calling on forces he didn't even know existed before outside of myth as everything swirled around the room, lights flickering, lights long blown out glowing brightly as the very walls shook, dropping bits of plaster on them. But he kept on.

Maggie didn't make it easy on either of them. It was a long battle to contain the young demon in their make shift Djinns bottle. The two unlikely allies were exhausted, and John barely standing when the demon sank into the crystal, turning it an inky smoky black. "Don't suppose we can grind this into dust and call it good?" John asked as he leaned against a near by wall to catch his breath.

Ben sank to the ground himself and leaned his head against the wall. "I need a vacation." He grumbled. "I'll take care of it. Put it somewhere where even if she gets out, she can't crawl out of there." There were plenty of realms Maggie didn't know about. But I'm serious, don't go summoning me again. I barely had time to get Jack somewhere to be looked after."

"If it were anything less than my boys lives and this place, I wouldn't have. Didn't have any other way in." He told him. "Jack... He's okay with you... Right? " He didn't know if he were ready for another son, he was barely holding on with both hands to the two that he had, but if it weren't a good situation, he would take the boy in a heart beat. He was his son. He would make it work.

"He's fine. Great. Don't even think about taking him." Ben said. Look what was happening with his older two, after all. And if John thought he just fought a battle, well, he'd never gotten into a custody battle with a demon bound to a promise. Ben made himself stand up, shaking out sore spots. "Come on, let's get you back to the other two before they think I tricked them."

John nodded. "If anything happens to him... Contact Bobby... He'll always know how to get a hold of me." John said straightening and preparing for the ride back to Bobby's house. He hated traveling like that, but at the same time figured it was his due after what had happened to Mary.

Ben looked at John. "Don't believe her. Just don't. Your Mary is in the same place as my Abby. Which is a good place, better than either of us deserve that's for sure. You have to believe that, same as me. Or Dammit, there's no reason to continue on, kids or not."

"I have a reason... To get the bastard that did this to her... That tainted my boy." John said raggedly. Strange that he would have kinship with this demon. A woman taken before their time... Their humanity ripped from them. "I have to keep him from turning out like Maggie... Gotta hope that's possible... Cause I don't know that I could do this to him. "

"Can't tell you. Don't see the future." Ben said and put his hands on John's arms, sliding them both back to Bobby's. Far more gently than he had with the boys, it was important that John survive this trip after all.

Bobby looked up from his book when his kitchen was filled momentarily with fire, and breathed a sigh of relief, however quietly, that there were two forms. Standing, barely, but standing.

"Went well?" Bobby asked. Ben gave him half a grin.

"Remember Maggie?" He said, holding up the crystal.

"Well I'll be damned. It worked." Bobby said with a grin and handed over the tequila bottle to John figuring he would need it.

"You had doubts?" John asked with a lazy grin as he slid into a chair, knowing there was no way he could walk to the boys right then. "Boys all right?"

"Hell yeah I had doubts. I was figuring I was gonna wind up raising those two hellions of yours." Bobby said good naturedly. "They are good. I sent them to bed."

John nodded and took a few long deep breaths, and took a long drink of his pain killer of choice then got to his feet slowly, moving on willpower alone toward the back bedroom where his boys always stayed.

"He'll be fine." Ben said as he took the tequila John left on the table. Bobby gave him a look.

"You planning on staying?" He asked, trying not to make a face. Ben stared at him.

"Who do you think took most of the hits so he could do that shit?" Ben pointed out. "Give me a minute to catch my breath."

Sam was still on same page he'd been when Dean finally fell asleep. He'd tried reading it. A couple dozen times. But in the end he'd just stared at it as his mind wandered on the many possibilities of what was going on right then. Outside the room. Outside the realm. And whatever possibilities he came up with, he didn't like any of them.

So when the door opened, he was ready to defend his brother anyway he could.

But it wasn't someone who was coming to take them back to Maggie.

It was their father.

"Dean. Dean!" Sam said shaking his brother's shoulders until his eyes opened.

"Dude..." Dean protested. Until he saw the man in the doorway. Looking beat to hell, but alive. Holy shit he was alive. "Dad!"

"Yeah." John said with a slow smile, eyes watery as he looked on his boys. "It's me." He was over to the bed in two long strides, almost falling onto it himself as he pulled both boys to him tightly. They were alive. Everything else fell to the wayside, pain forgotten, exhaustion forgotten. His boys were all that mattered.

Dean clung to his father, without the embarrassment he normally would have felt. At least four days of being tortured and terrorized was having an effect on him, and his father was Safety. With the capital S. He looked beat to hell, but his grip on Dean and Sam was strong. His father's large, rough hand landed on some rather tender and sore parts of his back, but Dean didn't care. He couldn't care right now. "I'm sorry, Dad." He said. For like the shtriga, somehow it was his fault for getting Sam involved in this. He hadn't moved fast enough. He hadn't been quiet enough. Something, right?

John eased back from his boys a moment and looked Dean over "Son, you did nothing wrong." John said sincerely. "none of this was your fault. I shouldn't have brought him with me to the barn its not your fault. Thank god you're alive." He looked at Deans arms, the bruises all over his body. He looked so pale.

"Hello... Still here... " Sam said "Still not a kid... Knock off the blame fest already." Although he was glad that this time their father wasn't blaming Dean. Sam knew where the blame for the last few days lay, and it was squarely at his own feet.

John almost laughed at that, instead he just pulled the boys close again. "She's not coming back." He told them. "Its really over this time."

Dean exhaled hard at that. He couldn't let on to Sammy how scared he'd been the entire time. He wasn't exactly wanting to die, after all. And he wasn't a big fan of pain either. But he'd been scared. Terrified.

"It's no one's fault." John said. He knew it was his, but his boys didn't need to hear that right now. It was important for them to know that it was not their fault at least. None of this. But his boys were fine. Dean would heal. And there was no shadow over their shoulders for the longest time.


	12. Chapter 12

Well, this part of the ride is over. There are story bits and adventures that the boys had that will be posted eventually, but their long fight with Maggie is at an end. A woman who just wanted to save her child slow descended into the darkness through no real fault of her own. Will Sam be able to fight it off any more than she could?

spoiler for IMTOD.

_Epilog:_

_2006, _

"_what is it?" Dean asked as he looked up at his father. Something was wrong. He could feel it in the air around them. _

"_you know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt. And after what I'd seen, I'd be...I'd be wrecked. and you, you'd come up to me and you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd say "it's okay dad." Dean, I'm sorry"_

"_for what?" He asked, even more confused and worried than before. _

"_you shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. " _

"_this really you talking?" He asked with a faint grin, hoping to make light of this conversation, make it go away. John Winchester didn't do hallmark moments. Something was wrong, something was desperately wrong. _

"_Yeah. Yeah, it's really me."_

" _why are you saying this stuff?" Something was going to happen. Dean could see it in his fathers eyes. There was a sadness there that shouldn't be with all of them still alive and well. What did John know that he wasn't telling?_

" _I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?"_

" _yeah, dad. You know I will. You're scaring me." He said honestly. This entire conversation was seriously freaking him out. He was waiting for the axe to fall any moment now. _

"_Don't be scared Dean." John said as he leaned in close, to whisper the truth into his sons ear. He didn't want Sam to over hear if he were coming back with the coffee he had sent him for. "you have another brother." He said softy and waited as Dean pulled back from him. _

"_What?" The younger Winchester mouthed silently, absolute confusion in his eyes. _

"_His name is John, but he's called Jack" he said leaning in once more "And he is Maggie's child."_

"_Is… is he like her?" Dean asked, keeping his voice down as well. Not so much for secrecy, but to hide the fear in his voice. He still had nightmares about what she had done to him when he was young, what she had planned to do to Sam. _

"_no" John said honestly "But Sammy is. You have to watch out for your brother, Dean. You have to watch over him, because if you cant save him, then one day you may have to kill him. " _

"_what?" Dean gasped "you cant ask that of me… god Dad don't ask that of me. I don't understand"_

"_I know son. I'm sorry. I don't have time to explain right now. But know that if Sam goes dark… he will become what she was. I'm counting on you, when I can't be here. Promise me. "_

"_I'll save him Dad. " Dean said still reeling from his fathers revelation. A brother by a demon … and a brother who might become one. Right then coma and slow peaceful death was sounding good. He couldn't hurt Sam. No matter what his father asked, he couldn't hurt Sammy. So he had to save him._

"_And if you cant?"_

"_Dad!" Dean exclaimed, very nearly hyperventilating. _

"_Promise me Dean. " He said with a desperation in his voice that Dean had never heard before. _

"_Yeah… okay" He said. This was some sort of nightmare, it had to be. "I promise." _

_John nodded then. He could go now. His last duties in this life passed on to his son. A hell of a legacy to leave his son. One that he hoped wouldn't destroy him in the end, but it was done. He nodded again, then leaned in and rested his head against his sons one last time. "Thank you" he said as he straightened and turned to walk out the door before he could change his mind and find some reason to stay just a little longer. Spend just a little longer with his son. _

_He entered his hospital room and lay the Colt down upon the table. "I'm Ready."_

Yes this was short and sweet, and you can consider it the end, or a shameless promo for the sequel that we are already working on to tie up loose ends and follow Sammy through his quest to stay human. The first chapter will be out in a few days. We have really appreciated your sticking with us through this story. Hope you will all take the next journey with us.

Look for **"Lost and Found,"** coming to a computer screen near you!


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